Verbal abuse; should I just forget about it?

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  1. Anonymous's Avatar
    Verbal abuse; should I just forget about it?
    I'm posting this in health because it does affect my mental health, I guess, because I'm quite upset and want to go anonymous. But I guess in the grand scheme of life and death, it's a very, very minor issue.

    Today I was studying in my university library.

    I had been working in a particular spot in a non silent area, when I got a phone call.

    I got up and took it, and turned my back to my table while I took the call, about 6 meters away.

    When I finished the call, I noticed all my stuff had been moved away and had been tossed in a heap at the other side of the table from where I was sitting, and another guy was sitting on the padded seat where I had been which was next to the plugs.

    I looked at him and he said nothing. I said 'excuse me, I'm sorry but I'm quite annoyed; you've just moved all my things...I didn't go anyway, I just took a phone call, you saw me'.

    He said 'yeah, well you shouldn't have gotten up, mine now.'

    So I said, 'look could you at least apologise'. It was clear I was pissed even though my words were relatively restrained.

    At this point he started getting abusive and telling me he didn't give me permission to sit there and called me an 'angry Jew' under his breath.

    I had a massive go at him. So I guess he had a point; I was an angry Jew. I think a girl who knew him said I was right at some point to be angry, but I can't remember much; I was really angry. His friend sitting next to him started propping him up. I can't remember who said what really because I was so upset.

    I packed up my things and went to the library desk and told a member of library staff where he was sitting, gave a description of him and said he moved my stuff and was then abusive to me. I gave the librarian my name, and I presume she found him and took his name, but I don't know.

    I've reported this to the library. It has really, really upset me, but I'm doing exams right now. Should I put off complaining about it, making a formal complaint? If so, what's the point? It's just his word against mine. Should I just forget about it?
  2. Anonymous's Avatar
    Re: Verbal abuse; should I just forget about it?
    YOu need to BE way more assertive than this. You should have demanded you got your place back, and kept your cool. you didnt do anything wrong did you? (apart from maybe distract others while talking on the phone) IF its making you feel rubbish about yourself, i would personally report this guy to the head of his faculty/department. It is bullying and its not on. But you yourself really need to get some help with being more assertive. Maybe your university offers some assertivness workshops or something Don't let it affect your revision though.
  3. Kittycat874's Avatar
    • New Member
    • Posts: 19
    Re: Verbal abuse; should I just forget about it?
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    YOu need to BE way more assertive than this. You should have demanded you got your place back, and kept your cool. you didnt do anything wrong did you? (apart from maybe distract others while talking on the phone) IF its making you feel rubbish about yourself, i would personally report this guy to the head of his faculty/department. It is bullying and its not on. But you yourself really need to get some help with being more assertive. Maybe your university offers some assertivness workshops or something Don't let it affect your revision though.
    I agree with this, You should report it
  4. A128's Avatar
    • Adored and Respected Member
    • Posts: 414
    Re: Verbal abuse; should I just forget about it?
    My bro, first of all he had no right to take your place and you should have asserted your place, attack is the best defence, im sure he would have got up to avoid a fight, ofcourse i dont really know how big he was so if was some massive wrestler sized guy, than this is obviously the wrong option.
    Also im assuming you are Jewish, well if you are let me tell you im also Jewish and I have witnessed many times people who disagree with me to say stuff like 'angry jew' - my advice is ignore it, most of these comments are laughable because, yes you are jewish and yes you are angry so it just shows their stupidity. Also I think it is time Jews stood up for themselves, I remember myself just shuting up about comments like those. Now I answer back because theres nothing wrong in being Jewish. In fact Im happy and proud im Jewish
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