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Inheritance issue causing rifts with family.

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    Recently an aunt of mine passed on and left her estate to me in its entirety, she never married or had any children of her own. She was my mother's 3rd sister and as none of her other sisters have any children she left it to me.

    A part of the money in the estate was inherited from my late granddad, he had a wife and a mistress, of which he divided the estate into 60:40 of which 40% went to my grandma who was his mistress. After his passing on we never kept in touch with anyone of his other family as they hated us with a passion as they perceived that the division of the estate was unfair since the wife had 8 children while my grandma had 4, in any case they never liked the grandma anyway.

    My grandma wasn't into money, a few months after the granddad passed on, she called for a meeting with all her children and gave them in equal portions the money she had inherited as she felt they had more use for it as she was already up there in age and she couldn't take it with her. She did make a provision that any extra of that money they should pass it on to me. The grandma also passed on a few months after that and since the only thing left was her jewellery, some savings and her house and this also went to all her children. At that time there was a big huge dispute between my grandma's children and the children of the wife of my granddad who claimed they should have a share of the house and jewellery as well as the money from the granddad. As far as I know nothing was given to them.

    Now fast forward today, my cousins, there are 16 of them who are wanting me to share what this aunt had given me that was from the granddad, in equal portions since they too are her nephews and nieces, except neither of them had spoken to her since our granddad passed on. On another side there are the 8 uncles and aunts who are asking me to hand over everything, not just the money from the granddad but also the assets she had left to me, some cash savings, a car and a house plus the usual possessions. They are saying the money is their dad's and this aunt was their sister so they have more rights to it than I do.

    The 60% of the money that went to the granddad's wife was given to her 3 sons while the daughters received things like jewellery and some small token amounts. All that money had long since been squandered away spent on things like expensive holidays, a yacht, fast cars and other useless junk that are today of little value.

    My mum is saying maybe I should split the money that was originally given by the granddad (now about 1/3 of the estate) with the 16 cousins since the money was from their granddad too and essentially they would get nothing as their parents no longer have it.

    Another aunt is saying that maybe I could give 7 of the cousins some money as they are children of the wife's daughters who essentially got nought from the granddad. This idea is vehemently being opposed by the other 9 cousins.

    The other aunt is telling me that a will was made for a reason and as she was the closest to the deceased aunt I should honour the contents of her will and use the money wisely rather than give it to the other aunts and uncles who would most likely squander it within a week and the other cousins never even saw her a single day but only would get in touch because there was monies to be gained.

    I told the aunts and uncles from the granddad's wife that I won't be giving them anything and they have since been hounding my mum constantly asking her to tell me to hand over the estate. While my cousins are also hounding her on a daily basis with some going to see her in person at her workplace.

    As a compromise, I came up with the suggestion that 4 of the cousins who will be starting uni this year I would when they graduate take money out and pay off their student loans, while those who are currently renting I would pay a small deposit towards a house for them. All 16 of them are saying this isn't enough as essentially I'm still retaining most of the money.

    I was planning on giving most of the money away to the university in which the aunt graduated from for clinical research as she was a doctor and surgeon. It was also something she did do quite often on her own when she was alive, in fact I'm surprised she didn't alter her will towards this purpose.

    What would you do in this situation?
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    what would I do? well that all depends on how much money I inherited
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Recently an aunt of mine passed on and left her estate to me in its entirety, she never married or had any children of her own. She was my mother's 3rd sister and as none of her other sisters have any children she left it to me.

    A part of the money in the estate was inherited from my late granddad, he had a wife and a mistress, of which he divided the estate into 60:40 of which 40% went to my grandma who was his mistress. After his passing on we never kept in touch with anyone of his other family as they hated us with a passion as they perceived that the division of the estate was unfair since the wife had 8 children while my grandma had 4, in any case they never liked the grandma anyway.

    My grandma wasn't into money, a few months after the granddad passed on, she called for a meeting with all her children and gave them in equal portions the money she had inherited as she felt they had more use for it as she was already up there in age and she couldn't take it with her. She did make a provision that any extra of that money they should pass it on to me. The grandma also passed on a few months after that and since the only thing left was her jewellery, some savings and her house and this also went to all her children. At that time there was a big huge dispute between my grandma's children and the children of the wife of my granddad who claimed they should have a share of the house and jewellery as well as the money from the granddad. As far as I know nothing was given to them.

    Now fast forward today, my cousins, there are 16 of them who are wanting me to share what this aunt had given me that was from the granddad, in equal portions since they too are her nephews and nieces, except neither of them had spoken to her since our granddad passed on. On another side there are the 8 uncles and aunts who are asking me to hand over everything, not just the money from the granddad but also the assets she had left to me, some cash savings, a car and a house plus the usual possessions. They are saying the money is their dad's and this aunt was their sister so they have more rights to it than I do.

    The 60% of the money that went to the granddad's wife was given to her 3 sons while the daughters received things like jewellery and some small token amounts. All that money had long since been squandered away spent on things like expensive holidays, a yacht, fast cars and other useless junk that are today of little value.

    My mum is saying maybe I should split the money that was originally given by the granddad (now about 1/3 of the estate) with the 16 cousins since the money was from their granddad too and essentially they would get nothing as their parents no longer have it.

    Another aunt is saying that maybe I could give 7 of the cousins some money as they are children of the wife's daughters who essentially got nought from the granddad. This idea is vehemently being opposed by the other 9 cousins.

    The other aunt is telling me that a will was made for a reason and as she was the closest to the deceased aunt I should honour the contents of her will and use the money wisely rather than give it to the other aunts and uncles who would most likely squander it within a week and the other cousins never even saw her a single day but only would get in touch because there was monies to be gained.

    I told the aunts and uncles from the granddad's wife that I won't be giving them anything and they have since been hounding my mum constantly asking her to tell me to hand over the estate. While my cousins are also hounding her on a daily basis with some going to see her in person at her workplace.

    As a compromise, I came up with the suggestion that 4 of the cousins who will be starting uni this year I would when they graduate take money out and pay off their student loans, while those who are currently renting I would pay a small deposit towards a house for them. All 16 of them are saying this isn't enough as essentially I'm still retaining most of the money.

    I was planning on giving most of the money away to the university in which the aunt graduated from for clinical research as she was a doctor and surgeon. It was also something she did do quite often on her own when she was alive, in fact I'm surprised she didn't alter her will towards this purpose.

    What would you do in this situation?
    You have to remember that your aunt left the money to you. If you want to use some of it to help your cousins through uni then that's admirable, but it is still your money - whatever amount they think is 'enough' is neither here nor there. Ditto your other relatives who are demanding money: if your aunt had wanted them to have it, she would have left it to them.
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    How much money is involved?
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    It sounds really complicated. I am not a lawyer but it does not sound as if these cousins have a claim on your inheritance. They seem to be a bunch of grasping wasters from your description, so why give them a penny ?
    if you do decide to give them your money then you should get a solicitor to draw up binding agreements so they don't come back for more in a few years.
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    It doesn't really matter about how much does it now.
    Your aunt gave it to you for a reason, if she wanted to give it to others she would have done.
    I am sure she thought it through properly before coming to a decision.
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    They sound like greedy *******s. Solely for that, I would just keep it to myself. If the amount you offer them isn't enough and they want more, I just wouldn't give them anything.
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    How much is it?

    Personally I'd tell them all I'd put all the money in a case and buried it in my back garden and they're free to dig it up and split the contents amongst themselves. In the case waiting for them would be nothing but a note saying SPLIT THIS AND **** YOU ALL YOU PARASITES!!!!

    But that would be ok because I'd be halfway over the Atlantic heading to my new home in Santa Barbera California before they found it :yes:
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    The will was made like that for a reason if you ask me, seems like you were singled out for a reason, you had a relationship with her while others didn't which is why she left the estate to you.
    Tell them you still talked to her, cared for her and to screw off.
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    You inherited it for a reason, so you should keep it.
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    It's your money and they are not entitled to it. It's up to you if you do give them something but you do not have to since legally they have no standing if you inherited it from a will. Do what you want with the money, it's not your fault how the inheritance was divided on their side of the family. I certainly wouldn't hand any over if they were harrassing you and your relatives. And it's a huge cheek asking to share your grandmother's jewellery, her cash savings and estate as I assume this didn't come soley from your granddad. The money has been passed on three times now, from your grandfather to your nan, your nan to your aunt and your aunt to you, they have no claim over this money. It's like me crawling out of the woodwork and finding some cousins and asking them to split their shares of inheritance from a long passed grandparent.

    My aunt is one of eight children and when her mother passed away all her siblings got nasty over the inheritance, so I understand how difficult and horrible the experience can be for people.
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    Never thought of TSR as the type of place to ask this
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    I think you have the right to the money - it's not like there wasn't a will.
    If you decide to keep the money - does it matter? It doesn't sound like you get on with the other family anyway so it's not like you are causing 'rifts'. They are not legally allowed to harass you about it.
    If you do decide to give them something, you must go to a solicitor. They will advice you on a) if the other family have any genuine claim to the inheritance and b) how best to draw up an agreement between you and the family. In fact, if you do want to give them something, I suggest you do this immediately, and then come back with an offer on the table which you have already discussed with your solicitor.
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    She left it to you, screw them.

    Offering to pay student loans etc. is a nice enough gesture, if they don't like it tell them to find a solicitor.
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    She gave it to you.

    1. I would give nothing to anyone who has harrassed your mum. That behaviour is unacceptable, and you could even call the police rightfully (though it probably wouldn't help the situation here).
    2. Do NOT give it to anyone to pay off their student loans - that is just money down the drain. Student loans are risk-free, so don't have to pay what you can't afford, and most people will never fully pay them back. You could give them something to help with maintenance at university though - £2000 or so would make an enormous difference, and it sounds like you can afford it.

    If you feel the situation is unfair, sit down with some of the more reasonable cousins (one or two, not all of them as you will get bullied into handing it over), or even on your own, and draw up a plan of what you think is fair. Your Don't get pressured into anything - you are well within your rights to just keep it all

    Finally, I have been on the other side of a similar situation, and I know it makes people do things they regret. It also feels deeply unfair and painful if you did care about the person, and you can't even argue with the inheritor because it feels like a desecration of the deceased. Just try to be sensitive to this, particularly if there are any cousins not arguing with you who might be feeling bad. If you have any friendships amongst your relatives try to maintain them, but equally don't show favouritism as that will tear them apart.

    Make a decision and stick to it - if they harrass you further, call the police
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    Well, from my experience, people always come crawling out of the wood work when there's money to be grabbed!

    But your Aunt left it to YOU for a reason. If she'd wanted it to go to the others, she would have written them into her will. There wouldn't be any point in making a will if it were just going to be ignored.
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    Wait so just to confirm, are all of these 16 cousins the grandchildren of your grandad's wife? And it also sounds like you never see any of them except when your grandad died? If this is the case then just tell them to go **** themselves, they got their share of your grandad's original inheritance and chose to squander it. That doesn't give them a claim to what reminds of your side of the wealth. The fact that they only get in contact when money is involved says it all really - they're just moneygrabbing bastards. I honestly wouldn't give them a penny.
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    If the will was properly written (by a solicitor, ideally), she was of sound mind when she made the will, and the other relatives were not dependent on her, then it's my understanding that they wouldn't be able to contest the will successfully in court.

    You also have to consider that you are following her wishes - I'm sure there's a reason why she left it all to you - a special relationship, you caring for her, the others all being feckless etc. It's quite obvious that the others aren't too keen on this arrangement, but it is now your money.

    You also need to consider how valuable these relationships are to you - it sounds like you're not particularly close to your cousins, but is there anyone that you are close to with whom your relationship will be irreparably damaged by all of this.

    Personally, I think you're being more than generous by offering to pay off student debt / put down a house deposit, and they're just being grasping now.
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    Reading all this reminds me of the smile I have when I hear a rich person leaving all their money to charity or to a beloved cat or dog.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Recently an aunt of mine passed on and left her estate to me in its entirety, she never married or had any children of her own. She was my mother's 3rd sister and as none of her other sisters have any children she left it to me.

    A part of the money in the estate was inherited from my late granddad, he had a wife and a mistress, of which he divided the estate into 60:40 of which 40% went to my grandma who was his mistress. After his passing on we never kept in touch with anyone of his other family as they hated us with a passion as they perceived that the division of the estate was unfair since the wife had 8 children while my grandma had 4, in any case they never liked the grandma anyway.

    My grandma wasn't into money, a few months after the granddad passed on, she called for a meeting with all her children and gave them in equal portions the money she had inherited as she felt they had more use for it as she was already up there in age and she couldn't take it with her. She did make a provision that any extra of that money they should pass it on to me. The grandma also passed on a few months after that and since the only thing left was her jewellery, some savings and her house and this also went to all her children. At that time there was a big huge dispute between my grandma's children and the children of the wife of my granddad who claimed they should have a share of the house and jewellery as well as the money from the granddad. As far as I know nothing was given to them.

    Now fast forward today, my cousins, there are 16 of them who are wanting me to share what this aunt had given me that was from the granddad, in equal portions since they too are her nephews and nieces, except neither of them had spoken to her since our granddad passed on. On another side there are the 8 uncles and aunts who are asking me to hand over everything, not just the money from the granddad but also the assets she had left to me, some cash savings, a car and a house plus the usual possessions. They are saying the money is their dad's and this aunt was their sister so they have more rights to it than I do.

    The 60% of the money that went to the granddad's wife was given to her 3 sons while the daughters received things like jewellery and some small token amounts. All that money had long since been squandered away spent on things like expensive holidays, a yacht, fast cars and other useless junk that are today of little value.

    My mum is saying maybe I should split the money that was originally given by the granddad (now about 1/3 of the estate) with the 16 cousins since the money was from their granddad too and essentially they would get nothing as their parents no longer have it.

    Another aunt is saying that maybe I could give 7 of the cousins some money as they are children of the wife's daughters who essentially got nought from the granddad. This idea is vehemently being opposed by the other 9 cousins.

    The other aunt is telling me that a will was made for a reason and as she was the closest to the deceased aunt I should honour the contents of her will and use the money wisely rather than give it to the other aunts and uncles who would most likely squander it within a week and the other cousins never even saw her a single day but only would get in touch because there was monies to be gained.

    I told the aunts and uncles from the granddad's wife that I won't be giving them anything and they have since been hounding my mum constantly asking her to tell me to hand over the estate. While my cousins are also hounding her on a daily basis with some going to see her in person at her workplace.

    As a compromise, I came up with the suggestion that 4 of the cousins who will be starting uni this year I would when they graduate take money out and pay off their student loans, while those who are currently renting I would pay a small deposit towards a house for them. All 16 of them are saying this isn't enough as essentially I'm still retaining most of the money.
    :colonhash: The nerve of them! It's your money!

    I was planning on giving most of the money away to the university in which the aunt graduated from for clinical research as she was a doctor and surgeon. It was also something she did do quite often on her own when she was alive, in fact I'm surprised she didn't alter her will towards this purpose.

    What would you do in this situation?
    There you go, the money's entirely yours and you can do whatever you want with it.

    Legally you don't even have to make a "compromise" and help your cousins with the university fees, but that was really nice and generous of you to offer that.

    All in all, screw those greedy people and live life the way you want it!

    Oh, and I'm sorry about your loss. :console:(I'm referring to your recently deceased aunt)

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