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Inheritance issue causing rifts with family.

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    It doesn't matter which way you look at this, whether you split it or keep it, you will not be able to keep everybody happy. In fact, it is almost impossible to keep any of them happy.

    I think the suggestions you have come up with sound quite fair, however there is a danger that the parents of the uni students tell them to take out loans in the knowledge that you will pay them off.

    To be fair, I wouldnt feel bad about this. You didnt ask to be left the money and you owe them nothing. It is a bit of a disgrace that they are putting you through this to hopefully satisfy their own greed.

    I cant give you definitive advice, but do not be pressured into giving into their demands in the hope that they will treat you with the love and respect that a family member deserves - as that will certainly not happen.
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    You don't owe them anything; it is a credit to you and your generosity that you've offered to help them with student loans etc but don't feel like you have to and don't feel pressured into it. The money was left to you and I think the only person you perhaps owe anything to is the memory of your aunt, who wanted you to have the money. If she'd wanted the others to have any, she would have left them some. Sounds like she knew exactly what they were like and didn't want the money falling into their hands. Make your decision based on what you want to do, not what others are pressuring you to do. And contact the police about them harassing you and your mother, that's not on.
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    Sorry for your loss. It sounds a complicated situation, a bit too complicated for me to properly understand but from what I gather they seem all to willing to collect the money but not to see your aunt when she was alive. That is a sign of greed, which is quite sad.

    I would keep the money if I were you. Invest it in a good savings account and make a good life for yourself. If your family wish for it to get in the way then it's THEIR issue, and shows how shallow they are I'm afraid.

    Your aunt made a will for a reason.

    P.S. I would find another more suitable website if you're looking for more specific advice. Not many students know about wills! (although I do actually have one!)
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    Keep the money to yourself.
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    There are always vultures circling after someone passes on.OP I wouldnt give them a penny, your Aunt left you that money not them!.You have made a generous offer which has been snubbed, so bugger them.
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    It sounds like your family are acting really badly, to be honest. Harassing your mum at work really isn't on. Your aunt chose to leave it to you; it's yours, and you have no obligation to give them anything.

    That said, if you want to keep the peace, maybe dividing up the money inherited from the grandad between the cousins would make them calm down.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Recently an aunt of mine passed on and left her estate to me in its entirety, she never married or had any children of her own. She was my mother's 3rd sister and as none of her other sisters have any children she left it to me.

    A part of the money in the estate was inherited from my late granddad, he had a wife and a mistress, of which he divided the estate into 60:40 of which 40% went to my grandma who was his mistress. After his passing on we never kept in touch with anyone of his other family as they hated us with a passion as they perceived that the division of the estate was unfair since the wife had 8 children while my grandma had 4, in any case they never liked the grandma anyway.

    My grandma wasn't into money, a few months after the granddad passed on, she called for a meeting with all her children and gave them in equal portions the money she had inherited as she felt they had more use for it as she was already up there in age and she couldn't take it with her. She did make a provision that any extra of that money they should pass it on to me. The grandma also passed on a few months after that and since the only thing left was her jewellery, some savings and her house and this also went to all her children. At that time there was a big huge dispute between my grandma's children and the children of the wife of my granddad who claimed they should have a share of the house and jewellery as well as the money from the granddad. As far as I know nothing was given to them.

    Now fast forward today, my cousins, there are 16 of them who are wanting me to share what this aunt had given me that was from the granddad, in equal portions since they too are her nephews and nieces, except neither of them had spoken to her since our granddad passed on. On another side there are the 8 uncles and aunts who are asking me to hand over everything, not just the money from the granddad but also the assets she had left to me, some cash savings, a car and a house plus the usual possessions. They are saying the money is their dad's and this aunt was their sister so they have more rights to it than I do.

    The 60% of the money that went to the granddad's wife was given to her 3 sons while the daughters received things like jewellery and some small token amounts. All that money had long since been squandered away spent on things like expensive holidays, a yacht, fast cars and other useless junk that are today of little value.

    My mum is saying maybe I should split the money that was originally given by the granddad (now about 1/3 of the estate) with the 16 cousins since the money was from their granddad too and essentially they would get nothing as their parents no longer have it.

    Another aunt is saying that maybe I could give 7 of the cousins some money as they are children of the wife's daughters who essentially got nought from the granddad. This idea is vehemently being opposed by the other 9 cousins.

    The other aunt is telling me that a will was made for a reason and as she was the closest to the deceased aunt I should honour the contents of her will and use the money wisely rather than give it to the other aunts and uncles who would most likely squander it within a week and the other cousins never even saw her a single day but only would get in touch because there was monies to be gained.

    I told the aunts and uncles from the granddad's wife that I won't be giving them anything and they have since been hounding my mum constantly asking her to tell me to hand over the estate. While my cousins are also hounding her on a daily basis with some going to see her in person at her workplace.

    As a compromise, I came up with the suggestion that 4 of the cousins who will be starting uni this year I would when they graduate take money out and pay off their student loans, while those who are currently renting I would pay a small deposit towards a house for them. All 16 of them are saying this isn't enough as essentially I'm still retaining most of the money.

    I was planning on giving most of the money away to the university in which the aunt graduated from for clinical research as she was a doctor and surgeon. It was also something she did do quite often on her own when she was alive, in fact I'm surprised she didn't alter her will towards this purpose.

    What would you do in this situation?
    It sounds like you have a very complicated and large extended family!

    Reading through your piece, it sounds like a big issue for you is your Mum's wishes - and she evidently has reasons for wanting you to share some of it. Is it a lot of money? If so, then maybe for the sake of family peace and to respond to your Mum's feelings, you may want to share some of it. It sounds legally as if there is no question that it's yours, but as always with inherited money there are other issues than just the legal one - sometimes family feeling comes into play.

    If it is a lot, have you thought much about how you want to deal with it in more general terms? I don't mean financially but emotionally? I assume you are a student posting here, it will give you a very different kind of life as a student if you have wealth. Some things to think about there.
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    How much money we talking.
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    Tbh mate, she left the money to you in her will, so **** them. They're not entitled to it, as the money/property was never theirs, it was your aunt's, and if she wanted to she could've just burnt the lot before she died.

    If you genuinely like them or want to help them, go for it! But you're under no obligation, especially to people you seem to have had little contact with until you came into wealth....
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    Wow, reading through all of that, I'd suggest you keep the money and not split it. Your cousins sound incredibly ungrateful, not to mention extremely greedy.

    Your aunt left her posessions solely for you, and you only. There must have been an important reason for it. It's wrong and selfish for anyone to demand that you ought to share or give away, what was rightly given to you. You don't owe them anything, so don't let them pressure you or imply that you're being unreasonable in any way.
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    ii agree with the bit about where your aunt gave the money to you. it was her decision not yours. the others should respect this.
    the fact that you have offered a compromise is nice and a lot more than most in your position would do

    i think you have behaved in a more than fair manner
    if they dont think it's enough they dont have to get anything

    if i was you i would continue as you are
    the money is legally yours
    you have offered them a lot.
    they can either accept the offer or move on

    its also very sweet of you wanting to put it towards the research

    good luck
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As a compromise, I came up with the suggestion that 4 of the cousins who will be starting uni this year I would when they graduate take money out and pay off their student loans, while those who are currently renting I would pay a small deposit towards a house for them. All 16 of them are saying this isn't enough as essentially I'm still retaining most of the money.

    I was planning on giving most of the money away to the university in which the aunt graduated from for clinical research as she was a doctor and surgeon. It was also something she did do quite often on her own when she was alive, in fact I'm surprised she didn't alter her will towards this purpose.

    What would you do in this situation?
    Hi, I am in a similar situation to you (large inheritance received when young) and your problem sounds quite familiar to me - simply put, large amounts of money bring up large amounts of envy, greed and guilt - the latter being common for people in our situation.

    Those were nice, generous thoughts on your part and I'm sorry they got rebuffed. Sometimes when wealthy people want to be generous to relatives or friends, it is not always received in a good spirit.

    Your plan about the research sounds good and it is great fun and demanding to think creatively what to do with excess money that you haven't earned. Giving part away to something useful is very empowering and in the final analysis, it's hard to just hang onto unearned wealth without it carrying at least some negatives for you. However, I would say it's OK to hang onto enough to have improvements in your life, as that's clearly what your Aunt, who obviously loved you, intended you to have. Working out the balance will be your big thing.

    Helen
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    OP, I am curious to how much you inherited. HOW MUCH? Anonymous over the internet is great, so feel free to share.

    Now, your original question, NO, hell NO, I would not give a pence to the people you mentioned.
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    (Original post by naturalselection)
    OP, I am curious to how much you inherited. HOW MUCH? Anonymous over the internet is great, so feel free to share.

    Now, your original question, NO, hell NO, I would not give a pence to the people you mentioned.
    I wouldn't respond to this OP - obviously people are voyeuristically interested in amounts, and clearly it is substantial, but the precise figures don't matter for the discussion as it is about principles and morality, not figures.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...

    What would you do in this situation?
    If I were you, the first thing I'd do would be to seek legal advice. If you're entitled to all of the money because the will is valid, that's great - in which case you can do with it as you wish (I think donating it to the university is a fantastic idea).

    However, if the will isn't valid, the rules on intestacy apply - I haven't studied this area of law, but I can tell it's going to be complex, and there may be the potential for claims from the other relatives.

    I suspect that they'll contest the will, but I don't know what implications that would have for you if the estate had already been distributed by the time they got around to doing so. You're clearly dealing with a significant amount of money, so it's better to have the peace of mind of having sought advice first (particularly given that then you should be able to sue the solicitor in negligence if, heaven forbid, something still goes wrong).
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    (Original post by Tortious)
    If I were you, the first thing I'd do would be to seek legal advice. If you're entitled to all of the money because the will is valid, that's great - in which case you can do with it as you wish (I think donating it to the university is a fantastic idea).

    However, if the will isn't valid, the rules on intestacy apply - I haven't studied this area of law, but I can tell it's going to be complex, and there may be the potential for claims from the other relatives.

    I suspect that they'll contest the will, but I don't know what implications that would have for you if the estate had already been distributed by the time they got around to doing so. You're clearly dealing with a significant amount of money, so it's better to have the peace of mind of having sought advice first (particularly given that then you should be able to sue the solicitor in negligence if, heaven forbid, something still goes wrong).
    Reasonable advice, but just reading the OP, it doesn't sound as if there are any grounds - no children or spouse of the deceased. I would think this is mainly about the OPs emotional reaction to what's going on, not a legal doubt.
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    (Original post by zara55)
    Reasonable advice, but just reading the OP, it doesn't sound as if there are any grounds - no children or spouse of the deceased. I would think this is mainly about the OPs emotional reaction to what's going on, not a legal doubt.
    I'm not sure - as I say, I haven't studied this, but what if they tried to argue that OP's grandma didn't have the capacity to make the will? I don't know who can bring such a challenge (or how closely you'd have to be related to the individual in question), so that was my point: best to check with someone who does know! :p:
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    Contact your lawyer. Check that the will is legally binding. Put most of the money in the bank and ask the lawyer what to do about the harassment. Sounds like they are all golddiggers, dont waste your time or money on them, just enjoy your life.


    I bet this is a troll and we're talking about a tenner.
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    (Original post by HelenOn)
    I wouldn't respond to this OP - obviously people are voyeuristically interested in amounts, and clearly it is substantial, but the precise figures don't matter for the discussion as it is about principles and morality, not figures.
    What is the harm in sharing details, I don't want to know the exact amaount, but a ball park figure would put this topic in a better perspective, like others have metioned, the amount might not even be worthwhile to share.
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    (Original post by naturalselection)
    What is the harm in sharing details, I don't want to know the exact amaount, but a ball park figure would put this topic in a better perspective, like others have metioned, the amount might not even be worthwhile to share.
    I agree with HelenOn - anyone reading the OP carefully can already tell this isn't a troll (or if it is, its an incredibly involved and lengthy one) and also that the "ball-park" is substantial. For example, "... that 4 of the cousins who will be starting uni this year I would when they graduate take money out and pay off their student loans, while those who are currently renting I would pay a small deposit towards a house for them...".

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