(Original post by RolyBholi)
Sorry if there's already a similar thread to this but I'm wondering what other people's thoughts on this are.
David Cameron has been encouraging marriage, but it's not for everyone and I personally don't think it's the answer to improving the likes of family life in Britain.
My parents had an 'arranged' marriage. They were introduced and had met before the marriage and got to know each other, but it wasn't a love marriage. I'm female, 21, (British-Indian, if that's of any relevance) and have one brother who is 4 years older than me. When we were growing up, we witnessed a lot of arguing, shouting and fighting between my parents. In fact, I don't recall a single memory of them showing each other any genuine affection.
From as early as I can remember right up until today, all I ever see or hear is them arguing. They can have pleasant conversation, but 75% of the time, it'll end up negative somehow. They barely even like each other, never mind love. They just don't get on.
It makes me feel so sad. When I was younger, all I ever wanted was for my mom and dad to get on with each other and be happy, like my friends' parents. They'd hardly ever spend time with each other even just sitting in the same room, so I'd try and split my time evenly between them, so I didn't make one parent feel like I was favouring the other.
I wasn't old enough to understand the complexities of things then; I was just a little girl who tried to make her parents happy because they were always unhappy. But now that I'm older and do understand the complexities, I wonder if it would've better for my brother and I if my parents had split up and weren't around each other- then we wouldn't have been subjected to all of that.
I know this for myself, but Nihal was saying (on The Wright Stuff last week) that a lot of Asian couples remain in unhappy marriages because of the culture and community- it would 'look bad' or 'bring shame' on them if they were divorced, or even separated. And this is not good for the children, growing up seeing no love and such resentment between their parents.
I am grateful for everything my parents have given me and done for me- maybe they wouldn't have been able to do as much if they weren't together- but early experiences are so important as they shape who you are and affect who you become. Personally, I've not had a happy upbringing and I know it's not had a good effect on me.
But then the other option was that they divorce/separate. I know that's a complicated procedure, but is it better to have parents who are divorced and not around each other, or parents who are married and around each other but barely get on?
I'm interested to hear peoples' thoughts. opinions and personal experiences.