Hi. I don't know anything about marking so can't help you with what grade it deserves, but one thing I would say is that you need to be more assertive with your answer in some parts.
"And I could go as far to say that maybe they even both share the same status which is minute or even nothing." makes it sound like even you're doubting what you are writing. Obviously you aren't going to know this, you aren't Steinbeck, so you don't have to keep reiterating that it's your opinion which may or may not be true. When you're trying to convince someone of your point of view using language like that doesn't really help.
But yeah, I agree with other posters that you do generally need to work on your style of writing, it seems a bit confused and informal at points.
(Original post by CUFCDan)
Either you're lying or our education is going down the pan
haha i know what you mean :L i mark the lower sets because ive completed my CA's and because i want to do medicine or SEN its good experience for me my teacher says ( he helps me mark and they are all checked through him so dont panic our education is fine ) :L
In addition to my earlier point you need to put everything into context, use historical background i.e. the wall street crash, the Dust bowl.. The great depression. The idea of the ranch is to be a microcosm of the real world. Thats coming from a guy who got an A, if you relate everything back to the question with context you can get an A or and A*, that is what seperates good essay writers from the herd.
You've made some good comments about his character, but as other people have said, you haven't related them to ideas about society in the 1930s. Go and look up an Of Mice and Men study guide and look at the notes on the context of the novel, there may be some stuff there...
he's probably marking you harshly to get you to worry about your exam coming up. it could be a B. I got Bs in my mock English lit and English Lang exams for GCSE and ended up with an A and an A*, probably because my teacher constantly marked me really harshly
I am currently studying Of Mice and Men and I think that a C was a little bit harsh. I think you should have got a B. But I understand why you may have obtained that mark. You haven't really explored the ideas of society. Granted, you have commented on themes etc. but in terms of the question, you have focused more on the character of Candy and not how Steinbeck has used him to portray ideas about society. You could have written about the racial discrimination and prejudice that were rife during those times and how exactly Candy is shown to portray these. Just remember to stick to the question but, it is a great answer!
hey could you mark mine if your have the time ? its only Part B so its out of 15 , please and thank you
how do you think Steinbeck uses the character of lennie in the novel as a whole to convey important ideas about society at the time
Steinbeck uses all of his character in the novel to symbolise or represent ion a certain part of society in 1930s of america , it is his represent ion of what america was like in that era. although one charter that stands out from the rat is Lennie who plays a main role in the story and highlights most of the journey , however the overall representation of Lennie was that he was a big man , ironically a contrast to his actual name which was a ‘Lennie small’ which therefore indicates the contrast in his personality and charter , this was because Lennie didn't condone a mind a of his own therefore this implies that he was mostly dependant on George, the man the he travels ( follows) with. This is manly because Lennie has been presented as someone who has limited intelligence , so he relies on George to look after him in general. However Steinbeck has ensure that the reader notices the representation of Lennie in a more of a detailed and complex way , Steinbeck has done this to create an image for the reader and comprehend to what Lennie is like ,this is demonstrated as Steinbeck writes “ behind him walked his opposite , a huge man, shapeless of face, with large , plea eyes with wide , slopping shoulders and he walked heavily dragging his feet a little , the way a bear drags his paws , his arms did not swing ay his side but hung loosely “ this can be interoperated in many different ways with many different meaning however , the main theme is that Lennie has been described as an animal which links to the appearance and body language of an animal , in particular , a bear. “ the way a bear drags his paws” , Lennie has been given the description of having paws a few times , this indicates his relative size emphasised compared to another however this also suggest an aggressive and dangerous animal which people may what to stay clear of , in addition this could alternatively be a method that Steinbeck has use that could be a method of foreshadowing , suggesting that he may be aggressive later on the story ( which we know has been demonstrated due to the death of Cruelys wife. This automatically gets rid of his actual identity and labels him , which can be seen that he lacks the common human qualities but also referring to his size and appearance , that it is unusual from and average human , however in addition this can leo be seen as the fact that “ walked his opposite “ this is referring to George’s opposite , this is could mean that they are two very contrasting charters however traveling together which is hard enough but the fact that not many migrant workers did travel together due to the lack of care and responsibleness of another , however int he time of this era , migrant works was because of the droughts in the southern mid -western states like Kansas ,which led to failed harvest and dried up land therefore not being able to provide men with work therefore no income . And this led to many economic migrants headed to the west to “ golden “ California , thinking there would be land going spare however this wasn't the case and many people were rejected and has to build this homes in huge camps in California valleys , however the main highlight of the story for George and Lennie was hat they shared a dream , together . However many people in that era chased after a dream but soon noticed that no one succeeds in achieving this ‘american dream’ of owning your own land , and house and living in peace with your own stock supply , not having to work of life a finger.But Their dream was typically similar however had a little twist of owning a pice of land , and Lennie’s job would to tend the rabbits this was ironically strange due to the fact that his size and engender suggest that he’s quite strong headed, and manly but showed a complete opposite side - again referring back suggesting Georges Opposite. In conclusion this can be seen that they hold the typical image of migrant workers and ranch hands of owning a job and eating money however , very different to what normally happens.
I entirely disagree that this was harshly marked- I am in top set for English and so we are all A/A* level, and are taught how to achieve these grades. You're on the right track but this seriously lacks perceptive ideas and there seems to be a whole lot of retelling; as if you are just explaining exactly what the phrase meant. It is crucial to analyse language and exactly the images created by such words. Also be careful to be choosing the correct quotations that you can really squeeze - for example “his ancient dog lifted his head and peered about, and then got painfully back to his feet to follow” - you have the right idea but missed some crucial points! This could reflect how for all of his life, Candy has been forced to follow one dream after another and even in his old age cannot stop to rest for long. The dog is 'following' someone who is about to end his life, and this could reflect how Candy is putting his trust in Lennie and George (which links to the concept of following) , yet everything will soon be ruined by Lennie which links to the dog's unexpected death. This of course isn't Candy's death, but it certainly is the death of his final hope in the American Dream.
Sincere apologies if this sounds harsh yet it is through this kind of comment that I achieve the best grades!
I myself am doing these types of essays at the moment I think maybe considering the other replies that I agree with them and a more sophisticated language would boost up your grade and help with gaining more marks. You could also ask someone in you class that has an A to A* for a little help as to how they set out their work and what specific things they used. But not to worry I did this a few weeks ago and I received a C. You just have to remember that some teachers will be more strict that others and it's those teachers that you need to work harder for.