[zosolobos0]

(Original post by im so academic)
I mean REALLY, REALLY ugly. She's not ugly at all if she's been on the front cover of magazines.

improve one's looks or don't give a toss? Ugly and hopeless-suicidal are not mutually inclusive! I don't think people had this problem before the invention of mirrors? lol

[zosolobos0]

(His best friend had committed suicide)

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Kazimierz Dąbrowski (September 1, 1902, Klarów - November 26, 1980, Warsaw, Poland) was a Polish psychologist, psychiatrist, and physician.
Dąbrowski developed the Theory of Positive Disintegration, which describes how a person's development grows as a result of accumulated experiences. "Disintegration" refers to the maturing of thoughts, and it is positive when the process moves one's personality to a more developed level. Dąbrowski is also recognized as the Godfather of Intellectual Giftedness research.
Dąbrowski had a lifelong dedication to the field of psychology. He established a rehabilitation center in Zagorze(near Warsaw) for patients who suffered mental disorders after experiencing difficult life situations. Lifelong research at this facility supplied him with information that helped shape his concepts.
[edit]Ideas

Dąbrowski developed his theory from a number of ideas:
That our lower animal instincts (first factor) must be inhibited and transformed into "higher" forces for us to be Human (this ability to transform our instincts is what separates us from animals).
That the common initial personality integration, based upon socialization (second factor), does not reflect true personality.
At the initial level of integration, there is little internal conflict as when one “goes along with the group,” there is little sense of individual wrong doing. External conflicts often relate to the blockage of social goals – career frustrations for example. The social mores and values prevail with little question or conscious examination.
True personality must be based upon a system of values that are consciously and volitionally chosen by the person to reflect their own individual sense of "how life ought to be" and their "personality ideal" — the ideal person they feel they "ought to be."
The lower animal instincts and the forces of peer groups and socialization are inferior to the autonomous self (personality) constructed by the conscious person.
To break down the initial integration, crises and disintegrations are needed, usually provided by life experience.
These disintegrations are positive if the person can achieve positive and developmental solutions to the situation.
"Unilevel crises" are not developmental as the person can only choose between equal alternatives (go left or go right?).
A new type of perception involves "multilevelness," a vertical view of life that compares lower versus higher alternatives and now allows the individual to choose a higher resolution to a crisis over other available, but lower, alternatives — the developmental solution.
"Positive disintegration" is a vital developmental process.
Dąbrowski developed the idea of "developmental potential" to describe the forces needed to achieve autonomous personality development.
Developmental potential includes several factors including innate abilities and talents, "overexcitability" and the "third factor."
Overexcitability is a measure of an individual’s level of nervous response. Dąbrowski found that the exemplars he studied all displayed an overly sensitive nervous system, also making them prone to angst, depression and anxiety - psychoneuroses in Dąbrowski's terms, a very positive and developmental feature.
The third factor is a measure of an individual's drive toward autonomy.
Dąbrowski's approach is very interesting philosophically as it is Platonic, reflecting the bias of Plato toward essence — an individual's essence is a critical determinant of his or her developmental course in life. However, Dąbrowski also added a major existential aspect as well, what one depends upon the anxieties felt and on how one resolves the day to day challenges one faces. Essence must be realized through an existential and experiential process of development. The characterization advanced by Kierkegaard of "Knights of faith" may be compared to Dąbrowski’s autonomous individual.
Reviewed the role of logic and reasoning in development and concludes that intellect alone does not fully help us know what to do in life. Incorporates Jean Piaget's views of development into a broader scheme guided by emotion. Emotion (how one feels about something) is the more accurate guide to life's major decisions.
When multilevel and autonomous development is achieved, a secondary integration is seen reflecting the mature personality state. The individual has no inner conflict; they are in internal harmony as their actions reflect their deeply felt hierarchy of values. External conflict may persist, however.
Rejected Maslow's description of self-actualization (Dąbrowski was a personal friend and correspondent of Maslow's). Actualization of an undifferentiated human self is not a developmental outcome in Dąbrowski's terms. Dąbrowski applied a multilevel (vertical) approach to self and saw the need to become aware of and to inhibit and reject the lower instinctual aspects of the intrinsic human self (aspects that Maslow would have us "embrace without guilt") and to actively choose and assemble higher elements into a new unique self - this process is what differentiates Man from the Animals. Dąbrowski would have us differentiate the initial self into higher and lower aspects, as we define them, and to reject the lower and actualize the higher in creating our unique personality.

Also :

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knight_of_faith

&

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Angel: Well, I guess I kinda worked it out. If there's no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters... , then all that matters is what we do. 'Cause that's all there is. What we do. Now. Today. I fought for so long, for redemption, for a reward, and finally just to beat the other guy, but I never got it.
Kate Lockley: And now you do?
Angel: Not all of it. All I wanna do is help. I wanna help because, I don't think people should suffer as they do. Because, if there's no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world.

(from a superawesome [allegorical?] tv series)

Last but not least,

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http://mobile.brainyquote.com/quotes...l_tillich.html

~~~

anddd.. I'm sure you've heard of experienceproject? that place is great.. I watched a clip of the entrepreneur behind it quite recently, and seriously salute him.

~~~

Sisyphus:

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Myth_of_Sisyphus

~~~

My best offering to you (lol) would be this:

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YAHOO ANSWERS

I don't know what to do anymore?
I just feel like my whole life is coming apart .....I am trying so hard to get on the right track but just so many bad thing happen to me I just can't handle it anymore.........this last year has been so hard...I got into some finaucal trouble in the begging of the fall and my mom found out and we got in a really big fight to where shedding really trust me any more ...it wasn't drug or gambling related just bills .......I mean I work and go to school ......the thing is I am trying to go to a new college next year right now I go to a tech school but I was planning to go to a 4 year school and live there during. The week .......my mom said I had to save so much so I would have some saved. Since I would not be working so much ,.....i stared to save again and everything was going ok until I spent some of my saving on a mistake I had to fix ...my mom got so mad that the started to say I was so stupid and not mention for college and she wasn't going to pay for me to go.......she thought I was crazy and needed help.........and this was just a few weeks ago and I still hurt from that ....now today I was driving and hit something with my car and blew my tire ......so my dad and mom had to get up at like nine o clock at night to come change my tire and my dad kept yelling at me just saying I was worthless and can't do anything right and then I made my parents get into a fight cuz of it ...now I have to take more money out of my account to fix it and I hope it's just a new tire I have to get nit a rim but I just feel like my life is falling apart I just can't take being a diss ointment to my parents anymore ......i really try to do the right thing I really do .....I mean I work like 7 shifts a week plus side babysitting jobs so I can pay by bills and save a little ...I am trying to go to school and get my degree and find a full time teaching job after that buts it just never enough ....it just feels like when I get a little happiness out of something...something else always messes it up......I'm still not sure I I get to go to the new school now and my mom is still deciding if she is going to help me out or not ........I was just looking so forward to moving away from everything for a while and not having to work so much and just focus on school abnd having a little fun ....it just feels like all I ever do is work ,,,,do school and that's it ........I don't really have fun and when i Trey somehing always ruinst it ....at Christmas I got a bad back spasm and had to go to the hostiple and ruins everyone else Christmas ...in my bithday my friend text me bad stuff......hit a animal for the first time ever and hen when I went out for my birthday we had a bad table at a bar where everyone was smoking and yelling ...were out of like everything too...then my spring break vacation I was looking so forward to since I haven't taken one in years and it was just horrible my parents kep fighting .......My feet due to a medical problem I had hurt so much ...my dad ended up not going to one of the parks with us then went and got drunk and now this .....I just don't know what to do ..I'm am tring so hard to keep having faith that god will work it out but I just can't take anymore of it I just really want things to change and get better I just don't know if it will
2 weeks ago Report Abuse


Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

you are an inspiration to me.

not too long ago i thought about seriously ending my life but reading the above i see how hard you try and it has made me realise that i can try harder.

you have really touched my heart. in my eyes i dont see you as a mess up at all. you seem to know how to do quite a few things even i cant do. and you seem to manage very well. im about to start my studies and work at the same time and have been thinking a lot about how i wont be able to cope and how much i will mess things up. ultimately we have to find the courage to push on.

i realyl hope you wont give up cause you have inspired me.
Source(s):
i have been ******* up my whole life. 21 years of **** ups.

and from my country of origin:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxl2h...eature=related i really recommend the whole series, not just this episode.

Have you heard of World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms and Doctors without Borders? How about peacecorps and medical activism?

[CJKay]

(Original post by im so academic)
I do accept the fact that I'm ugly. FFS, I've been saying it all the time - of course I know I am.

No, I don't care. Because I'm not beautiful, damn right I have the right to speak my mind.

So what - only beautiful people can speak their mind?

He started his sentence with "Ffs. Why do you seek so much attention? Every post you always talk about your looks".

You ended yours with "So what - only beautiful people can speak their mind?".

I think it's time you shut the **** up and take a grip on reality.

[CJKay]

(Original post by im so academic)
I mean REALLY, REALLY ugly. She's not ugly at all if she's been on the front cover of magazines.

Who actually reads the magazines that put Lady Gaga on the front cover?

[CherryCherryBoomBoom]

(Original post by Sovr'gnChancellor£)
She's much richer than all of the fools who think her ugly. Whilst they're busy living their poor silly lives, she's making cash off of other silly, mindless fools.

Ugly? I don't think she cares. She's very much in demand.

Bravo, my point exactly! I find her pretty inspiring tbh

(Original post by im so academic)
Now men want natural beauty. Great.

At the end of the day, beautiful people will find it easier to find love.

Not necessarily. Sure, it's much easier for them to get attention, but how much of that is just superficial lust, and how much is true proper love that is formed when one has the whole package?

Anyway, some people will always find certain things easier than others. Some find it easier to get better grades. Some find it easier to sing, act and dance. Some find it easier to learn to drive. Some find it easier to make lots of money. Some find it easier to find true love. Blah blah blah. You've just got to suck it up really, try not to get too jealous of other people and just do the best you can with what you have.

[ihatebrownbread]

the thing about life is that within a hundred years you won't regret anything because you probably be dead. So whether you have had a fun life or **** life in a hundred years or so it won't make much difference.

in terms of maths i see life as being 0. If you life is so negative that you cant change it then death may seem better but if it is positive then obviously that's better. But if you life is negative you should try and try to change it because once you go 0 there no going back.

[im so academic]

(Original post by CJKay)
He started his sentence with "Ffs. Why do you seek so much attention? Every post you always talk about your looks".

You ended yours with "So what - only beautiful people can speak their mind?".

I think it's time you shut the **** up and take a grip on reality.

Reality: if you're a woman, you need to be pretty to be taken seriously by other men.

[im so academic]

(Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
Bravo, my point exactly! I find her pretty inspiring tbh



Not necessarily. Sure, it's much easier for them to get attention, but how much of that is just superficial lust, and how much is true proper love that is formed when one has the whole package?

Anyway, some people will always find certain things easier than others. Some find it easier to get better grades. Some find it easier to sing, act and dance. Some find it easier to learn to drive. Some find it easier to make lots of money. Some find it easier to find true love. Blah blah blah. You've just got to suck it up really, try not to get too jealous of other people and just do the best you can with what you have.

I have nothing. How do you make the best out of nothing?

[CJKay]

(Original post by im so academic)
Reality: if you're a woman, you need to be pretty to be taken seriously by other men.

Reality: if you're a woman, you need to not be a self-obsessed, blithering sociopath (i.e. not you) to be taken seriously by anyone.

Not many of my female friends I wouldn't consider much more attractive than "normal", and yet the ones that get the most respect are the ones who actually this thing called a personality. Oh, and it's not centred around themselves 24/7 too!

Heck, my best mate is a butch lesbo!

Stop bringing up your excuses as the responsibility of every man on this planet. It is not obligatory for us to like anyone. Give us something to like, and we will like it. It doesn't matter if it's shiny, pretty or intelligent - but don't give us a self-centred, soul-less personality like yours and expect us not to ask you to shut the hell up.

Do you not even see the negative rep you have? None of us have even seen you before - it doesn't take much of a ****tard's brain to realise looks don't even come into it!

[iamyourspiritfrombeyondth]

If you kill yourself the grey sludge wins. **** the grey sludge.

[zosolobos0]

(Original post by im so academic)
I have nothing. How do you make the best out of nothing?

You either market nothing very well and network to get wherever you want to get or you keep searching and keep developing whatever it is you do have, no matter how little/meaningless.

do what I do. keep trying. If I didn't, I wouldn't have been able to make very long posts on this thread.

Honestly, does life have to revolve around "men" (which men, there are many kinds!) and "women" (ditto).

Also, have you ever considered that blind men wouldn't give a toss about how the ugliest girl evarrrr looks?! You choose how much meaning you give to looks. You decide who will be the ultimate recipient of your affection and time and how much importance to give to which audience, if any. You can even experiment by doing a marginal utility analysis. For example if acting and looking a certain way will bring you to where you want to be faster, then do that if you feel like it. Find out how. If you don't feel like it, don't. There are always solutions. Everything demands problem solving skills.

Oh, and super hot women are never taken seriously by (heterosexual) men by default (only if they try hard). How can one take something seriously while having to tend to an erection/thoughts of undressing her and doing whatever to her? Wouldn't it be super hard and distracting? Think about it for a second.

[I]As ye seek, so shall ye find[I]

What does this mean? Well, the same thing it does to men who say "women never take men who have no money seriously". Or whatever other stereotype. You believe it hard enough and it will become your reality. By the time you do stumble across anomalies, it will be too late in the sense that you'd have gotten used to an unhelpful mindset and the other person won't notice you or will filter you out based on negative vibes. Trust me.

[DarkTitan]

Why bother with life you say? ... Because ... that feeling when you pull that blanket over you when your cold... and that moment when you just bite into a chicken burger.... priceless

[Jackso]

(Original post by Anonymous)
No, it would simply mean everyone else would know the futility of the world and would be as miserable as I am now. But I guess I should ask, why should I bother to try to communicate a message which is not only sad but true, but also one which no one wants to hear?

No one wants to know the truth because no one wants to be miserable. But I've lost enough to be miserable anyway - there's little point in me not knowing it.

Almost everyone knows it, most just don't see the point in spending eighty-odd years moping and complaining about it until they die. It's just tedious. Although, to be fair, you've already stated you'd have forgotten your parents within a week if they died so I'm not exactly surprised by everything you've posted.

[lancelot]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Everyone ends up the same way, and we all end up in the same pathetically confined lives. Why the **** is there any point?

depends how you look at life - you can follow your cliche , or the cliche that life is what you make of it and is defined by the interactions you make with other people on this planet. i know which cliche i prefer.

[Jim_Reid]

I feel similar to the OP but, the main things to remember:

1. if it's so bad it can only get better

2. you yourself would agree there is too much unnecessary suffering in the world.
I just try to reduce suffering as much as I can, example become a vegetarian, it helps reduce animal suffering for a start, helping prevent human suffering is harder but there are ways

3. even if you don't view being wealthy as an ultimate goal (I don't myself), in the event you did get rich you can put it towards helping stuff you might want to give towards, e.g starving people are suffering

4. even though like you, I don't believe such a thing as love, I believe in the chemical attraction thing, you might as well try to abuse the hell out of the biology of your body, try to get to be with a girl you really like, it just will make you feel good even if there's so much **** in the world, you'll be blinded by the hormones and won't care. "love" was invented by nature to get rid of all these kinds of thoughts so might as well take advantage of it.

5. regular exercise, good diet, goals in life...get them all, it helps kill the doubts, gives you somthing to aim for, keeps your mind busy.

I think between all that stuff, you can blind yourself enough to not be thinking its all pointless.

[WreckTangle]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Everyone ends up the same way, and we all end up in the same pathetically confined lives. Why the **** is there any point?

I know that feel bro.

[Wick3d]

(Original post by ironandwine)
your sig cheered me up more tbh

I'm not surprised.

[zosolobos0]

On Love, evolution, reproductive strategies, mating choice (Christopher Ryan, Helen Fisher and Yale professor):










http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ckin...eature=relmful

Make of them what y'all will.

I personally believe this is more like it

[Eightyeight]

(Original post by Jackso)
Almost everyone knows it, most just don't see the point in spending eighty-odd years moping and complaining about it until they die. It's just tedious. Although, to be fair, you've already stated you'd have forgotten your parents within a week if they died so I'm not exactly surprised by everything you've posted.

I think the OP isn't going to be spending eighty-odd years moping about

[ConnorB]

Perhaps, but hey, mankind is capable of achieving such amazing things!
Like this!