Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.

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  1. Ulgoo's Avatar
    • Full Member
    • Posts: 95
    Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    Today I was sitting on my sofa, stroking my cat, when out of the unexpected a genie shot out from his backside. After seeing a look of satisfaction on my cat's face as if he had just taken a behemothic dump, I asked the Genie why he had taken my cat's belly as his dwelling. Apparently he couldn't pay the rent for his old lamp so was forced to move out.

    Anyway, the Genie granted me 3 wishes, so here I am carefully planning each one.
    After thinking for a while, I decided for my first wish I'd quite like a well aged stilton - possibly a nice roquefort if I'm feeling adventurous.
    Then for my second wish I thought it'd be pretty funny if Justin Bieber had taste buds in his anus.
    For my last one I fancied the idea of being able to shoot good quality whiskey from every orifice of my body, the possibilities are endless - I can bottle it and sell it, drink it whenever and wherever I want etc. But I didn't want to be selfish, so I decided I'd wish this for everyone after realising how it could solve most worldwide problems: thirst, war, you name it.

    So thinking about how they ask it in the movies and on tv I was about to say
    "I wish everybody in the world was able to produce an everlasting supply of whiskey from every crack and crater in their body".

    But then I thought is this wording correct?
    Surely if say "I wish I was able to do X" then the word "was" means in the past tense. So if I say I wish I was able to fly, does that not mean the Genie would give myself in the past the ability to fly (of course my past self would not know my future self had been granted this wish and would not realise I had this power) and thus rendering my wish useless.

    I know that Genie's are known for being sneaky and I'm sorry for being pedantic but I want to make sure this all goes to plan and would appreciate if someone could help me word this correctly, especially if they have had any past experiences with a Genie.
  2. SnoochToTheBooch's Avatar
    • Vengeful, Imperial Overlord of The Student Room
    • Posts: 4,434
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    you need a good lawyer
  3. nohomo's Avatar
    • Benevolent Member
    • Posts: 662
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    (Original post by SnoochToTheBooch)
    you need a good lawyer
    Yes it must be a crime to be as unfunny as the OP
  4. amime's Avatar
    • Peer Of The TSR Realm
    • Location: West Midlands
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    More wishes?
  5. Brit_Miller's Avatar
    • Benevolent Member
    • Location: Bristol
    • Posts: 686
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    Don't trust a genie, I wished for less sh!te threads last time and look what's happened.
  6. jamboogy's Avatar
    • Peer Of The TSR Realm
    • Location: London
    • Posts: 1,440
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    The fact that you actually bothered to spend time and type this out is horrifying. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
  7. PurpleMonkeyDishwasher's Avatar
    • Vengeful, Imperial Overlord of The Student Room
    • Location: Vondelpark Posts: 9,001
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    Geez guys, he's only asking a simple question about grammar and no one has bothered to answer it, not even me.
  8. Emilii's Avatar
    • New Member
    • Posts: 14
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    It's got to be true. Nobody can write such a lame post. Haha. Maybe he's thinking if using black magic to summon lucifer.
  9. ROYP's Avatar
    • Peer Of The TSR Realm
    • Posts: 1,588
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    It's painful
  10. messy_teardrops's Avatar
    • Respected Member
    • Location: birmingham
    • Posts: 228
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    i've had the week from hell, but u've cheered me right up lol thanks
  11. mau5's Avatar
    • TSR Demigod
    • Location: Newcastle
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    I'm guessing using one to help protect your virginity wasn't necessary?
  12. Mad Cat Lady's Avatar
    • Benevolent Member
    • Location: Hobbiton, the Shire
    • Posts: 854
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    I believe the phrase you would be best to use is "I wish that everyone else in the world CAN BE able to blah blah blah at this very moment and for all eternity". there, that covers your ass.

    Now, go back to smoking whatever it is you were smoking and maybe mr genie will come back and give you another chance to get it right huh?
  13. Blazara's Avatar
    • Peer Of The TSR Realm
    • Location: Isle of Wight
    • Posts: 1,605
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    "I wish I have the ability to fly and that you will not take it away from me in the past, present or future."
  14. Myriad's Avatar
    • New Member
    • Posts: 0
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    I think "can choose to be able" would be fairer on the world's populace.
  15. xmarilynx's Avatar
    • TSR Demigod
    • Location: Paris, France
    • Posts: 6,039
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    "I wish I were", it's the subjunctive
  16. Good bloke's Avatar
    • PS Helper
    • TSR Royalty
    • Location: England
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    (Original post by Ulgoo)
    Today I was sitting on my sofa, stroking my cat, when out of the unexpected a genie shot out from his backside. After seeing a look of satisfaction on my cat's face as if he had just taken a behemothic dump, I asked the Genie why he had taken my cat's belly as his dwelling. Apparently he couldn't pay the rent for his old lamp so was forced to move out.

    Anyway, the Genie granted me 3 wishes, so here I am carefully planning each one.
    After thinking for a while, I decided for my first wish I'd quite like a well aged stilton - possibly a nice roquefort if I'm feeling adventurous.
    Then for my second wish I thought it'd be pretty funny if Justin Bieber had taste buds in his anus.
    For my last one I fancied the idea of being able to shoot good quality whiskey from every orifice of my body, the possibilities are endless - I can bottle it and sell it, drink it whenever and wherever I want etc. But I didn't want to be selfish, so I decided I'd wish this for everyone after realising how it could solve most worldwide problems: thirst, war, you name it.

    So thinking about how they ask it in the movies and on tv I was about to say
    "I wish everybody in the world was able to produce an everlasting supply of whiskey from every crack and crater in their body".

    But then I thought is this wording correct?
    Surely if say "I wish I was able to do X" then the word "was" means in the past tense. So if I say I wish I was able to fly, does that not mean the Genie would give myself in the past the ability to fly (of course my past self would not know my future self had been granted this wish and would not realise I had this power) and thus rendering my wish useless.

    I know that Genie's are known for being sneaky and I'm sorry for being pedantic but I want to make sure this all goes to plan and would appreciate if someone could help me word this correctly, especially if they have had any past experiences with a Genie.
    You should go back to your teachers and complain that you were short-changed when they didn't teach you about the subjunctive mood in English. Then you should google "English subjunctive mood" to remedy the problem.
  17. Sovr'gnChancellor£'s Avatar
    • Vengeful, Imperial Overlord of The Student Room
    • Location: Central Imperial Capital
    • Posts: 4,056
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    What rubbish wishes. Absolutely rubbish.
  18. burning-ape's Avatar
    • Adored and Respected Member
    • Location: Hertfordshire
    • Posts: 451
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    Something has always confused me about genies. Why do they all speak English? You'd have thought, seeing as nobody in England has discovered how to grant wishes yet, they would come from other parts of the world where magic was more widespread and common/not abhorred. Or maybe that's why they're all hiding in lamps/animal stomaches. Or maybe they all wished to be able to speak every language there ever was and ever will be? Who knows.

    Either way, this thread has answered a question I've been pondering over for ages. Thank you, denizens of TSR!
  19. Frodo Baggins's Avatar
    • Banned
    • Posts: 285
    • Warning points: 1000
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    I think im high.
  20. Saf94's Avatar
    • Benevolent Member
    • Posts: 773
    Re: Been granted 3 wishes by Genie. Slightly anxious.
    Yeah i dont think saying i was i was/were able to ... is a past tense phrase, the use of was has a different meaning here, not 100% sure thats what i think though.
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