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Best friend will hug/kiss everyone but me?..

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    So I'm a guy and my best friend is a girl. We spend most days together, we both say how we're like siblings and don't want any more to come of it. She'll happily get naked in front of me and there's no sexual tension etc.

    The only thing is, I'm sort of jealous of the attention she gives to other people. We rarely hug (bar the past couple of nights, we've hugged at the end of the night), whereas she'll hug every other person she greets. She'll kiss random people in drinking games, she'll give at least a peck to people she's not as close to as me.

    Just to put it out there; I don't like her in that way. It's just that I seem to be the one person who she doesn't want to get touchy with. Does she think I might get the wrong idea or something? She's happy for me to see her naked, doesn't care if I grab her boobs for whatever reason, we'll talk about sex etc. But she rarely hugs me, never even gives me a peck.

    Just to stress - we don't like each other in that way. I'm mainly jealous as she'll do it to literally anyone else that she's just friends with, but not me.

    Anyone else's view on this, or had the same sort of thing happen to you or you do the same sort of thing?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Forgot to add. We tell each other that we love each-other all the time, so there's obviously the affection between us that we care about each other.
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    You're kind of like a modern-day eunuch, aren't you, Mark?
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    Well trained she has you. XD
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    Might just be me.. But sounds like she has feelings for you.
    Few girls would get completely naked and let a guy touch her boob, without wishing something from it or worrying she was leading him on/being inappropriate. Weird you find it ok to watch/let her?!
    She may be confused, she may like you or she may just like the attention? Even though you say nothings going on in girl thoughts this could be banter/generally have little truth.
    The public thing- do people joke/think somethings going on between you two?
    What does she do if you initiate a hug or peck?- maybe its a two way awkward thing, she sees you feeling awkard about hugging and so looks awkward, and you see her awkward so look awkward..?

    Be honest, do you genuinely 100% not like her?? Sounds like you do, maybe a little bit?! Do you maybe hope replies will tell you she likes you?

    I tend to think very close cross-gender friendships like this don't generally arise unless there is some attraction seen by at least one of the people.. Not always true- but a lot of the time...
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    Aaaaw, I miss having a best friend..

    Unlike the post above, I doubt she has affections for you if she gets naked in front of you and let's you grab her boobs...wtf is that all about the by the way? :P
    Are you not a big hugger? Because I used to be the same with one of my closest friends, we were extremely close but it just didn't feel right hugging her because she just...wasn't that kind of person, and if we did hug it would be that awkward hesitant kind of hug. It didn't make any difference to our friendship really though.

    But anyway, if you are so curious just ask her, in a light hearted way? Honestly, miscommunication (or none at all) can be the breaking of friendships, if you are so close it's seriously best to talk about it.
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    (Original post by tigger01)
    Few girls would get completely naked and let a guy touch her boob, without wishing something from it or worrying she was leading him on/being inappropriate.
    I disagree though, if I liked a guy I would never let him see me naked! I would cringe like mad. However if I had absolutely no feelings of attraction it wouldn't bother me, it would be like having a gay best friend, you just don't really think about it.


    Although I do say...getting completely naked is a bit strange. I mean underwear yes topless maybe, but completely naked??
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by tigger01)
    Might just be me.. But sounds like she has feelings for you.
    Few girls would get completely naked and let a guy touch her boob, without wishing something from it or worrying she was leading him on/being inappropriate. Weird you find it ok to watch/let her?!
    She may be confused, she may like you or she may just like the attention? Even though you say nothings going on in girl thoughts this could be banter/generally have little truth.
    The public thing- do people joke/think somethings going on between you two?
    What does she do if you initiate a hug or peck?- maybe its a two way awkward thing, she sees you feeling awkard about hugging and so looks awkward, and you see her awkward so look awkward..?

    Be honest, do you genuinely 100% not like her?? Sounds like you do, maybe a little bit?! Do you maybe hope replies will tell you she likes you?

    I tend to think very close cross-gender friendships like this don't generally arise unless there is some attraction seen by at least one of the people.. Not always true- but a lot of the time...
    The whole boob thing is not like her just thrusting it at me, but she doesn't care if I grab them as a joke; that sort of thing. There's not really any sexual tension which is why her being naked doesn't mean anything to me; I don't feel weird about it as there's no actual reason to?

    Some just make jokes, others think it's serious. I've had a few quiet talks with people asking me if there's something going on between us; others saying that we must secretly like each other. My crush actually spoke to me about it once, saying that "She's your best friend now, but it will definitely turn into more" - That was awkward for me.

    Well the past few nights she's gone in to hug me and vice versa a couple of times. That's the first time we've hugged in a fair while (like a month, the last time was when I was comforting her about something). If we're playing spin the bottle, she'd be reluctant to even give me a peck, whereas I've seen her fully get on with people during it before now. Playing truth or dare she always passes on the kissing dares with me - It's not like I'm craving her to kiss me, it's just the fact that she'd do it to almost anyone else.

    I love her to bits, but not romantically. I've had a very tough year and I'm scared of losing anyone because of it. She's the only person I actually trust and get along with. We've talked about us being together and we've pretty much said sober it'd just be weird, but drunk we don't know what we'd do if the moment arose. When I first met her, I did like her. Then when I got close to her I decided against it in favour of friendship; that was a fair while ago.

    (Original post by EffieFlowers)
    Aaaaw, I miss having a best friend..

    Unlike the post above, I doubt she has affections for you if she gets naked in front of you and let's you grab her boobs...wtf is that all about the by the way? :P
    Are you not a big hugger? Because I used to be the same with one of my closest friends, we were extremely close but it just didn't feel right hugging her because she just...wasn't that kind of person, and if we did hug it would be that awkward hesitant kind of hug. It didn't make any difference to our friendship really though.

    But anyway, if you are so curious just ask her, in a light hearted way? Honestly, miscommunication (or none at all) can be the breaking of friendships, if you are so close it's seriously best to talk about it.
    Well she has her closest girl friend, I'm obviously the second-best. But she's literally the only person I have now; to put it bluntly, my best friend passed away last year so I'm worried about losing anyone ever again so don't trust myself to get close to many people.

    As I mentioned in the post above, there's like no sexual tension between us, so if I grab them as any part of a joke or anything she doesn't care. She's not the shyest of people either.

    When we weren't as close as we are now, we used to hug all the time. When we said Hi and Bye amongst other times. But when we got really really close, it just stopped. Because of what I mentioned before, I guess I'm sort of craving attention and like a sense of security with her that I'm not going to lose her.

    I don't want to ask her in case she takes it the wrong way and thinks that I like-like her. It's not like I don't feel like we're close, we spend so much time together and we always say "love you" to each other in a serious and jokey context throughout the day.

    (Original post by EffieFlowers)
    I disagree though, if I liked a guy I would never let him see me naked! I would cringe like mad. However if I had absolutely no feelings of attraction it wouldn't bother me, it would be like having a gay best friend, you just don't really think about it.

    Although I do say...getting completely naked is a bit strange. I mean underwear yes topless maybe, but completely naked??
    As I said before, she's not the shyest of people. Drunk, she'll get down to her underwear in a group of people. Sober, the furthest she'd go in front of people is cleavage (except for me, obviously). She'll get changed in front of me etc without batting an eyelid.
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    Sounds like she has feelings for you my friend
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    It sounds like you're in denial, to be honest.

    If you didn't have feelings for here then I don't see why this would be an issue for you. You're reading a lot into it and obviously thinking a lot about it.
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    She must be a proper munter if she gets naked in front of you and you don't even crack a semi.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by RollerBall)
    She must be a proper munter if she gets naked in front of you and you don't even crack a semi.
    This isn't going to help with this thread, but she's actually very good looking; curvy body, good-sized boobs etc. When I see her naked though, I admire her body but I just know that it's her and don't think of her in that way.

    (Original post by somethingbeautiful)
    It sounds like you're in denial, to be honest.

    If you didn't have feelings for here then I don't see why this would be an issue for you. You're reading a lot into it and obviously thinking a lot about it.
    I think my long post explains why I'm reading into it and thinking about it all so much.
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    OP it sounds to me it'd just be awkward... if you are as extremely close as you sound yet on a completely platonic level... kissing, even in spin the bottle games, would be really awkward and weird...

    as for the hugging thing, like someone else mentioned, maybe you aren't a hugger or it's just not needed.


    i don't think any of this is a slight! if anything i think it shows how close you are.

    and i don't think she fancies you or vice versa!


    i'm really sorry to hear about your best friend by the way, that must have been hard. i understand why you feel like you need a bit more security in the friendship... but i really don't think you have anything to worry about.
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    dude... hit that...
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    Does it not seem to you that there might be a reason that it is the less-closer-than-you friends she treats with constant affection such as constant kisses and hugs? You were the same before with her giving you hugs and kisses and then you became close to her - at which point it stopped. That seems like a stage the others haven't reached especially considering you point out she doesn't go further than cleavage with others when sober.

    Maybe she considers your friendship with her beyond trivial kisses during drinking games and constant hugs. It seems like she wants to show affection to her other friends through hugs but she doesn't need to show affection with you in the same way because you're past that as friends and she might think you realise that. It might also make her uncomfortable to be kissing you and hugging you in the same way she might with her other friends, again who aren't as close to her. Changing in front of you is different, she obviously feels more secure and comfortable around you than others when sober - which is the main thing. Outwardly showing affection is another thing - it sounds like she feels the need to show affection for others. And you've stated that the possibility of a relationship when sober would be weird for you both. This just seems like a development of that train of thought.

    I think it might be the opposite conclusion that you may have reached: that she's distancing herself from you, that you're losing her as a friend and that you're not getting the same level of affection as her other friends. From the information that you've provided of her, it seems that the affection she is directing at others (that she once did with you) and how reacts around you when sober (getting naked/boobs) - is perhaps indicative of the fact that showing constant affection to you isn't as important for her because her friendship with you as moved past that.

    Of course, there are alternate explanations like her actually having feelings for you and being hesitant about kissing or hugging in that they may become stronger or that you may recognise those feelings.

    I think her not showing you that sort of affection is probably a testament that she cares more about than the others - with whom she can dispense such 'trivial' affection (such as kissing during drunk games and constant hugs) without a second thought. But that's just my commentary on the information you've provided.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I'm a guy and my best friend is a girl. We spend most days together, we both say how we're like siblings and don't want any more to come of it. She'll happily get naked in front of me and there's no sexual tension etc.

    The only thing is, I'm sort of jealous of the attention she gives to other people. We rarely hug (bar the past couple of nights, we've hugged at the end of the night), whereas she'll hug every other person she greets. She'll kiss random people in drinking games, she'll give at least a peck to people she's not as close to as me.

    Just to put it out there; I don't like her in that way. It's just that I seem to be the one person who she doesn't want to get touchy with. Does she think I might get the wrong idea or something? She's happy for me to see her naked, doesn't care if I grab her boobs for whatever reason, we'll talk about sex etc. But she rarely hugs me, never even gives me a peck.

    Just to stress - we don't like each other in that way. I'm mainly jealous as she'll do it to literally anyone else that she's just friends with, but not me.

    Anyone else's view on this, or had the same sort of thing happen to you or you do the same sort of thing?
    trust me.

    Your nothing like siblings.
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    Are you gay, does she think you might be gay or something? I just don't see girls stripping off in front of straight, male friends.

    And you are not like siblings if she is getting naked in front of you lol.
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    Since when do siblings get naked for each other, enjoy having their boobs touched and partake in kissing each other during drinking games? That analogy is false
    #2

    maybe she just thinks you'll take it the wrong way.
    maybe you could approach her and hug her yourself? instead of leaving her to do it

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