Should I text him?

I met a nice guy around 3 months ago now. At first he was constantly texting me and we went out a few dates. We then had an argument and he stopped texting me as frequently. I ended up finding myself doing all the starting of text conversations, but he'd reply back pretty instantly, which would suggest to me that he wanted to talk to me. This has gone now for the past month with me starting every conversation. However on Tuesday he text me to say good luck in an exam that I had and I text back saying thank you and that I hoped he has a good day. But since then he hasn't text me, and I haven't text him. I really want to text him right now. But do you think it's a bit weird if I do, especially as it's been 5 days? Or do you think it'd start to sound a bit clingy or desperate? Should I just leave this whole situation well alone?

Thanks

(edited 11 years ago)

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Reply 1

qwerty_mad

Yes text him but if he doesn't reply leave it at that.

Reply 2

emdo

Original post by qwerty_mad

Yes text him but if he doesn't reply leave it at that.

Agreed.

Reply 3

qwerty_mad

Original post by indie94

Btw OP, have you two been in contact through any other means such as facebook?

Reply 4

indie94

Original post by qwerty_mad

Btw OP, have you two been in contact through any other means such as facebook?

No, we haven't been in contact at all for 5 days.

Reply 5

qwerty_mad

Original post by indie94

No, we haven't been in contact at all for 5 days.

Oh right. But still I'd say drop him a text. If nothing come out of it, at least you tried and know where you stand.

Reply 6

indie94

Original post by qwerty_mad

Oh right. But still I'd say drop him a text. If nothing come out of it, at least you tried and know where you stand.

I decided to text him, and he replied back literally instantly, haha!

Reply 7

qwerty_mad

Original post by indie94

I decided to text him, and he replied back literally instantly, haha!

Haha nice one. He's probably been reading this thread :tongue:

Reply 8

tigger01

Basically two options- depends on how much you care how he views you I guess..

Try once more as OPs say. If he replies, keep the conversation going, if he doesn't then stop bothing with him, take some time to feel sh!tty about it and then move on.
Don't know how true this is but I read once guys can find girls who chase are lowering themselves and removing the 'fun' element/feeling of being in power and masculine, and so by making the 'chase' easy forhim, he may not find you as exciting. However don't take my word for that- completely just something I read! And different as things have been going on a few months.
OR
Go with the theory (male being the gender who its normally seen as socially acceptable to be doing the chasing) if he isn't bothering, even though you often text him and so he knows you are interested & have moved on from the argument, then he simply (sorry to say it I know it can kill!) isn't that into you.

Either way I guess you learn where you stand eventually ...1 is a more quick fix but you could look desperate/over-keen, 2 is a more dignified but possibly slower fix.

Sorry this situations happened, having been in a similar position I know how horrible it can be! Good luck!

Reply 9

tigger01

Ah sorry just saw your post! Yeyy very glad he's replied :smile:

keep the conversation going, and next time let him initiate.

Tricks if you want to intiate without seeming pushy or like you are initiating:
1) At night, when it gets late, drop in you're tired, then when he replies, don't reply.. in the morning text replying to his last term but saying you feel asleep. You then have the conversation started the next day wihtout initiating :smile:

2) Ask a really specific question, don't put in any chat. Act like the text is entirely purposeful, when he replies, reply again turning it into chat.

Reply 10

Jwb2

Original post by tigger01

Tricks if you want to intiate without seeming pushy or like you are initiating:
1) At night, when it gets late, drop in you're tired, then when he replies, don't reply.. in the morning text replying to his last term but saying you feel asleep. You then have the conversation started the next day wihtout initiating :smile:

Do girls do this often? A girl has done this to me twice in the last 3 days but I felt really awkward cause I'd text her saying "G'night beautiful" and she didn't reply so I felt very nervous for her reply, turned out she replied in the morning saying that she fell asleep but I only took 2-3 minutes to reply when she said she was going to bed, no-one falls asleep that quickly right? :s-smilie:

Reply 11

tigger01

Original post by Jwb2

Oo wasn't meaning do it if you're texting really quick replies, thats just obvious and rude! I only do this if in genuinely in bed falling asleep but do hear my phone beep, so read it but am half-asleep so don't reply (yes I don't reply on purpose, i could manage to say night). It just makes it easier as conversation doesn't need re-initiating and flows on til the next day.

Reply 12

dgeorge

Original post by indie94

You guys went on a few dates and then had an argument - I guess this means that you haven't been out since? It would "seem" that he has either found something else to preoccupy himself with or simply lost interest. It wouldn't be clingy/desperate to text him, but if all you're doing is a "text relationship" then you can't expect him to remain interested for much longer if he is

Reply 13

Tedaus

Original post by Jwb2

Haha girls do it all the time to me and I've done it a couple times as well. I think it's kind of an unspoken rule of thumb - "I didn't really fall asleep but I want to text you tomorrow and I don't want it to be too obvious"

I take it as a good thing as it means she wants to text me more. If it's instant replying, it's more obvious that she hasn't, but hey who cares.

Reply 14

Calpurnia

I don't think anyone's focussing on the, potentially, most important part of this: the argument you two had.

What did you argue about?

Why do you think it would put him off talking to you?

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 15

indie94

Original post by Calpurnia

I don't think anyone's focussing on the, potentially, most important part of this: the argument you two had.

What did you argue about?

Why do you think it would put him off talking to you?

We argued over him ignoring me in a club when he was on a night out with the lads. He did acknowledge me in the end, after my friend had a go at him for being rude. But he claimed that he didn't want to ruin my night by being clingy and hanging around me. But then the next day he claimed that my behaviour suggested that I was acting like his girlfriend, which I disagree with. I just found it rude that he could ignore me like that after we'd been out, yet still expect me to kiss him when he finally acknowleged me. I think the awkwardness of the arguement left him not wanting to talk to me.

P.s. The text conversation I had with him last night didn't last long and it's starting to make me think that I should just give up. *sigh*

Reply 16

indie94

Original post by Jwb2

I would do this often whilst texting the guy who this thread is about. But I only used to do it because he would do it to me, but if he fell asleep I'd genuinely know he had because he'd text me back at like 3 or 5 in the morning. This would then mean that when I replied back in the morning the conversation would continue all day. And when I'd fall asleep, it could actually be as quick at 2-3 minutes... Maybe that's because I fall asleep fast when I'm tired, haha!

Reply 17

dgeorge

Original post by indie94

No offense, but what are you giving up on exactly? It would seem that you're in an "informal relationship" and both of you obviously have different ideas about where this is heading. Did you guys have a sit down and chat about what you expect of each other?

Reply 18

indie94

Original post by dgeorge

I admit that it was an 'informal relationship' but I at least want to be respected by him. The way he acted around me and the things he used to text me would suggest to me that he wanted to be more than an 'informal relationship', but the whole argument we had messed this up and it's never been the same since. I want it to be like it was, and right now if it doesn't return back to the way it was, I don't see a point in trying with him. I'm starting to think we probably do have different expectations now.

Reply 19

Calpurnia

Well, it's a shame that the "relationship" thing came up so fast, usually people aren't forced to acknowledge it until much later...

I suppose you could ask if he'd meet up with you to talk about something. Explain that whilst the argument made things kind of weird, would he be interested in going on a couple of dates, no commitment, just to see if there was anything there? If it was clear after a couple of meetings that he/you wasn't interested, then whatever, at least you tried.

It sounds, from what you said about him ignoring you, that he's not blown away by you, but if you're interested then go for it, I could definitely be wrong :smile:

(edited 11 years ago)