Don't get me wrong, I love my girlfriend to bits. I could never see myself connecting with someone else as I do her or in a relationship with anybody else. She's been my first everything.
Yet sometimes I get these urges/thoughts/daydreams of cheating on her and doing 'things' with other girls. I'm just like 'what the hell why am I thinking these'? They don't represent what I'm feeling but it's just the idea of doing things with other girls that pop in my head, it seems pleasing? I just feel like such a horrible person... I'd obviously never act on these urges but djdghjk
Why is this? Our relationship is going really well and I'm not really close to any other girls yet I get these thoughts. Is it because she's my first? Is it a normal urge to get? Is this an urge to be with someone else other than your couple an urge for everyone in a sense of 'wanting what you can't have'?
It could be a normal urge, but it depends on what you do with it, that counts.
It's understandable, I guess. I think it's to do with always wanting what you don't have and general temptation -- what would it be like, how would it feel? Stuff like that. It's not a reflection on your relationship. I think it's pretty normal.
Maybe you like to feel desired or wanted.
You have this girlfriend who you love but you'd love the attention of other girls being interested or something.
I don't know. Googled it?
At the end of the day humans are animals, making the most babies as possible is the goal and you don't get that from just 1 girl.
could also be the fantasy of just wanting what you shouldn't have.
If you loved your girlfriend the thought of cheating shouldn't be desirable at all.
I think cheating only becomes desirable when you're lacking something in the relationship you're in already. That's not to say that you don't love your girlfriend, but it does probably mean that even though she's close to everything you ever want and dream of, she's not THE one.
I was with my first boyfriend for 3 years. For the first 2.5 years I never even looked at other guys never mind thought about cheating on my bf with one. Then something changed in our relationship. We still loved each other, we still cared for each other and as far as everyone else was concerned we were still perfect for each other. But in the end something just wasn't right, even though I couldn't put my finger on it at the time (or even now 4 years on!). For all intents and purposes he could have been THE one, but I think if I had made him THE one I would have been settling in some way. I think that's probably where your urge to cheat comes from too. There's probably a part of you thinking...is this the best I can do? Is she really the one for me? If she really is your first, then you don't really have any experiences that could prove to you that she is. You might just think about cheating, you might not actually do it, but the fact you are thinking about it probably means you think you're settling in some way with the girl you are with...and maybe you are. Think about it...
If you stop wanting to have sex with other people because you have a partner, something about you is broken.
Being faithful to your partner isn't about puritanically purging yourself of other desires - it's about choosing not to act on them.
Have you looked back at your sex life? Have you had a very satisfied sex life with this girl? I can tell you that most people will just fall into this stupid fantasy The One. You are ****ing young, you are all young, I am young. There will be many women in your entire life, oh my ****ing god, it's so stupid to see you guys keep calling one another The One while this is just the first time you engage in a relationship.
The more experience you have with women, the more satisfied a relationship you enjoy with them.
I've been feeling the same for a long time too although I'm on a LDR so that makes quite of a difference. I believe that for me this feeling arises because 1. he's my first boyfriend too so I guess I'm kind of 'curious' about what it's like being with someone else and 2. especially with the LDR you really miss being physically close to your partner, like hugging and cuddling etc... BUT I know I do love him because if there was the slightest concern I didn't, I wouldn't continue with the long-distance thing as it can costs a great amount of effort to make it work.
I think with you it might be 1., you probably want to experience something different giving she's your first girlfriend and in my opinion it will go away with time, it's probably just a phase.
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