I think you know the answer to this. He has to pick between you two, and he has to make that decision fast. There's nothing worse than having a relationship with someone who you're not sure of. Ask him to pick between you and her, NOW. Otherwise it's incredibly unfair on her.
If you love him enough and think that he loves you then fine, ask him to pick. He's already done a bad thing by letting his feelings get to you, the girl he's with now doesn't deserve him.
(Original post by Anonymous)
The comments here are ridiculous, considering you don't know how we met and the circumstances! And I've already said I know it's wrong but I've let my feelings get too deep now which makes it impossible for me to just throw all that away. I don't understand why people are still replying to me if they disagree and have nothing worthy to tell me.
How you met and the circumstances are fairly irrelevant. Do you know what I do when I meet a guy I like? I put any desire on hold until I find out if he is available. If he has a girlfriend, I nip it in the bud there and then. You have said that he was on a break from her when you met, but that you rekindled your "thing" after he had got back with her. You were completely aware of him having a girlfriend. You willingly began a "relationship" (sorry, but being a mistress/second best isn't really a relationship) with a boy who had a girlfriend. You weren't misled into believing he was single, you weren't lied to by him. You're obviously fairly naive, but if you thought you could post your complaints here without getting some nasty replies.. That's borderline stupidity. Anyway.. On to some advice, if that's what you want.
He is making excuses. By having a house together, I presume you mean they have a joint mortgage. That doesn't mean they must stay together. People have left relationships with far more than just a house in question (children, marriage, joint friends, other property). Always reduce things to their simplest form to find the truth: if he wanted to leave his girlfriend, he would leave her.
Having read your responses throughout the thread, I'm really puzzled as to what you actually get out of this. You meet on his terms, you communicate on his terms. He "likes" you, you "love" him. He shares a home and a bed, personalised for him and his partner of 5 years, their trinkets, relationship and identities stamped in every room. I'm sure he's probably told you that they don't get on anymore, or don't sleep together anymore, but that will be bull****. He'll be cuddling up on the sofa with her while you sit alone, checking your phone, wondering when he is going to find a spare minute to text you. You can't communicate properly with him because you don't know how to approach things and he doesn't take anything seriously. Honestly, if you had a friend in this situation, would you really advise her to stay involved?
You have a choice. He doesn't hold all the power in this situation, and you are not a helpless slave to your emotions. You can walk away from him, and you can retain some dignity. Reality? You're probably someone with low self-esteem, and you're clinging on to the 5 minutes where he makes you feel better and ignoring the rest of the day when you feel **** about the situation. I don't believe you're a heartless scrubber, but I do think you're acting like a naive little girl. Don't you want better for yourself? A man who actually wants you, just you, and who doesn't pick you up when his girlfriend isn't looking? Stop and be brutally honest with yourself for a moment. What is wrong with you that you are so willing to settle for the scraps, when you could have a delicious full meal instead?