[candyfloss2]

Iv been lucky enough to come from a family that have been able to provide for me financially throughout my whole life; a guy I go to uni with is completely aware of this and has on numerous occasions asked for 'favours' for rent and bills; anyhow its now got to a point in which I have lent him over £1000 and he hasnt been able to even repay a £1 yet! he always makes fake promises of paying the following month etc, its got so bad that he'l ask for money for food, rent, bus fare everything, initially I felt really guilty but now the only reason he contacts me is when he needs money; he recently text me saying 'hey I know you get paid on the 10th of each month, u ok to sort me out? im in a proper bad state, cheers' and I said no as I havent sorted my own finances, since then I have had over 30 texts asking for money and they imply that because of me he hasnt been able to pay rent; im starting to feel like I should give in and give him the money; what are your views on this?

[letsdothetimewarpagain]

Don't give him any more money He is quite clearly using you and you are going to have a nightmare getting that money back. If he can't look after himself that is his problem, not yours

[littleone271]

He's either spending all his student loan on crap or his parents have plenty of money and just aren't giving him any. Tell him to go hassle them instead. It's not your job to financially support this guy and it's outrageous that he's relying on you to basically pay his rent for him.

[OU Student]

He's using you. He knows he'll give you money, so he'll carry on asking.

[Shelly_x]

Hes clearly taking you for a ride. Ignore all his texts.

[Cypriots]

(Original post by candyfloss2)
Iv been lucky enough to come from a family that have been able to provide for me financially throughout my whole life; a guy I go to uni with is completely aware of this and has on numerous occasions asked for 'favours' for rent and bills; anyhow its now got to a point in which I have lent him over £1000 and he hasnt been able to even repay a £1 yet! he always makes fake promises of paying the following month etc, its got so bad that he'l ask for money for food, rent, bus fare everything, initially I felt really guilty but now the only reason he contacts me is when he needs money; he recently text me saying 'hey I know you get paid on the 10th of each month, u ok to sort me out? im in a proper bad state, cheers' and I said no as I havent sorted my own finances, since then I have had over 30 texts asking for money and they imply that because of me he hasnt been able to pay rent; im starting to feel like I should give in and give him the money; what are your views on this?

The guys clearly using you, seems a bit obsessive too (texting 30 times, knowing your pay dates and expecting you to pay..) you should work on getting the money back straight away.

[Mr Dangermouse]

No.



Helping a mate in a bit of trouble is one thing but this is serious harrassment. Tell him to apply for a hardship fund or something.

[Norton1]

(Original post by candyfloss2)
Iv been lucky enough to come from a family that have been able to provide for me financially throughout my whole life; a guy I go to uni with is completely aware of this and has on numerous occasions asked for 'favours' for rent and bills; anyhow its now got to a point in which I have lent him over £1000 and he hasnt been able to even repay a £1 yet! he always makes fake promises of paying the following month etc, its got so bad that he'l ask for money for food, rent, bus fare everything, initially I felt really guilty but now the only reason he contacts me is when he needs money; he recently text me saying 'hey I know you get paid on the 10th of each month, u ok to sort me out? im in a proper bad state, cheers' and I said no as I havent sorted my own finances, since then I have had over 30 texts asking for money and they imply that because of me he hasnt been able to pay rent; im starting to feel like I should give in and give him the money; what are your views on this?

Money's gone unfortunately. Only thing you can do is not give him any more.

[Luxray]

OMG £1000?!?!? I'd be tempted to tell him that you want your money back or else you will try contacting the uni about this.
Tell him to pay you in monthly installments even or make sure you know when he gets his loan in. then you can demand for the money back.

[Rational Paradox]

Over £1000?? bloody hell, you need to stand up for yourself - it's not going to win you any favours being a doormat and regardless of financial position, £1000 is a lot of money to never get back - At the very least, don't give him anymore and try to get some of it back.

[super.teve]

I can't see you ever getting the money you gave him back.
Why the hell does he need so much? What did he do with the first £1000 you gave him? What has he done with his student finance/wages!?

[Gary Barlow]

Get in touch with his mam and dad and hassle them for your money back.

[U.Ahmed]

Time to turn the tables and start hassling him for the money that he already owes you.
People need to learn how to stand on their own two feet and that is only achieved when they have to work for every penny they earn. This person has clearly never worked a day in his life and he deserves to struggle because of the position he has gotten himself into.

Just a little question, he's not a gambler is he?
Because a friend of mine used to to do the same thing he did and he would only pay back money once he had a big win, then lose all of his own money, then borrow back and so on.
If he is a gambler, he needs help.

[U.Ahmed]

And i just read the last few lines again, how he can have the audacity to tell you that it is your fault he can't pay rent is just a joke.
What a dick.

[Dr Good Manners]

No offence but hes a peasent and a useless lazy leech. Get rid of him IMMEDIATELY. He will NEVER pay you back. EVER!

If your parents were as soft as you are, they'e be as broke as your "friend" is. DO NOT give him another penny. Tell him you've changed your number and give him a number for a local church or a premium rate sex line.

Choose to ignore my advice however and I'd re-advise you to tell your parents to set fire to your trust fund or give it all to your other siblings instead. It would only end up in the hands of alcoholics, drug dealers, bookies and full time dolies anyway.

[NathanW18]

You have given this guy £1000? I'm sorry, but that is ridiculous. You most likely aren't going to see any of that money back. I had to read the last part again to make sure I had read it right. He basically blamed you because he couldn't afford his rent?

You need to tell him to do one.

[.eXe]

Always get a receipt anda written agreement to have the amount paid back. You could've sued his sorry ass. Stop giving him more money, he sounds like a dependent loser.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[Octohedral]

Guilty?! Why would you feel guilty - did you know him before uni? Don't give him another penny, and tell your parents so that they can stop you giving him more, as otherwise he will probably manipulate you.

[MagicNMedicine]

(Original post by candyfloss2)
a guy I go to uni with is completely aware of this and has on numerous occasions asked for 'favours' for rent and bills; anyhow its now got to a point in which I have lent him over £1000 and he hasnt been able to even repay a £1 yet!

Probably the most unsettling lesson I learned from going to uni and living in flatshares afterwards, was that there are quite a few people that do this, even to their 'friends'.

I also learned that the way to spot them is simple. Most people are too ashamed to ask others for money or say they can't pay bills in a shared house, could they pay back 'later' etc - the ones who aren't ashamed to ask are the ones that make a habit of it and don't intend to pay back.

It would be interesting to know what this guy's lifestyle is like. Is he working all the hours under the sun doing multiple part time jobs, to try to make ends meet around his studying, or is he enjoying an active social life, drinking etc? I bet I know which it is.

There was a guy in one of our flatshares at uni, who never had money when the bills came in, or if he did pay he never had the full amount, and he was a nightmare to chase for outstanding debts because he was always skint, despite the fact that he was out 2/3 times a week, going on holidays to Benicassim, Prague, Istanbul, going to Download festival, buying clothes, smoking etc. When I pointed out this discrepancy to him his response was "who the f- are you to tell me how I can or can't live my life?". The other problem with this type of person is they get a kind of sense of entitlement that other people should pay for them and they get indignant if they are challenged and try to turn the tables on the person lending them the money. When I was chasing him for unpaid debts (all the time, because he was never paying anything back), he used to complain about me both to my face and to other people, saying I was 'obsessed with money' and that he'd hate to be like me because I didn't appreciate there was more to life than money. In another house I lived in one of the lads got 4 months behind on his rent, and when the landlord came round politely asking him to pay up, my flatmate basically blamed the letting agency, saying "everyone knows they're crooks, its been in the student newspaper". That might have been true, but they didn't have anything to do with the fact he was 4 months down on rent...again it was a case of someone with entitlement culture blaming other people.

I think this type of person just tries to freeload through life, seeing if they can take advantage of other peoples' generosity for as long as they can then moving on to a different group, IMO they are mostly though not exclusively male. It also correlates with being a loser in other areas - they never take their degrees seriously if they are at uni or do well or get a good job, they are just life's chancers who float from student loans to part time jobs/benefits trying to supplement their small income with subsidies from people around them.

[MagicNMedicine]

(Original post by Luxray)
OMG £1000?!?!? I'd be tempted to tell him that you want your money back or else you will try contacting the uni about this.
Tell him to pay you in monthly installments even or make sure you know when he gets his loan in. then you can demand for the money back.

The uni won't do anything, there's no way you can enforce this. The money has gone, you have to treat any further gifts of money as a gift not a loan.