[Clare~Bear]

Should i go to my friends 18th birthday party?

For; i've known him nearly 10 years , some people i know will be there

Against; we're at different 6th forms - I've seen him once since xmas and he hasnt made the effort to contact me apart from replies to my messages , he didn't come to my 18th - he's so unreliable to his friends/ family because he doesn't like to say no to his boss even though there's other people who could do the shift , he's hiring out a night club kinda place which will be crowded - i doubt I'll be able to find/ talk to my friend or other people there i know , being at a club also means cr@p music thats too loud and people getting drunk and puking everywhere. Im 18 and i do drink but going out and getting drunk, wasting money on alcohol doesn't appeal to me. Plus i have a bf (whos been invited but doesn't want to go) so I'm not going on the pull.

So yeah, i feel i should go BUT i almost definitely wont enjoy it and i dont have the money to spend on drinks.

[jfinney94]

(Original post by Clare~Bear)
Should i go to my friends 18th birthday party?

For; i've known him nearly 10 years , some people i know will be there

Against; we're at different 6th forms - I've seen him once since xmas and he hasnt made the effort to contact me apart from replies to my messages , he didn't come to my 18th cos his boss phoned him up to go into work and my friend didnt want to ruin his reputation, even though he's always going in after dropping everything and letting people down , he's hiring out a night club kinda place which Will be crowded - i doubt I'll be able to find/ talk to my friend or other people there i know , being at a club also means ****e music thats too loud and people getting drunk. Im 18 and i do drink but going out and getting drunk, wasting money on alcohol doesn't appeal to me. Plus i have a bf (whos been invited but i doubt will go) so I'm not going on the pull.

So yeah, i feel i should go BUT i almost definitely wont enjoy it and i dont have the money to spend on drinks.

Don't feel like you need to go because you feel obligated to, only go if you actually want to. Talk to your bf, see if hes going.

[ScottishShortiex]

Its completely up to you, but I always find that the parties I don't want to go to are the ones that end up a really great night!

For example, I was dreading going to my cousin's 17th birthday because loads of her friends who I'd never met were going to be there (I'm quite shy around new people) and as an 18 year old, I thought they'd be a bunch of 16/17 year old's who tried to act all hard and grown up because they were drinking. I couldn't have been more wrong...they were lovely and quite mature for their age and I had a great time.

I'd say go for it, you might actually really enjoy yourself! If you'd prefer, you could try and pursuade your bf to go to so you've got someone there you know apart from that friend.

[Mr Dangermouse]

Sure, it's a party. Better than sitting in.

[M4LLY]

DO it, i've been to the 18ths of people i haven't seen i years (so i knew none of their mates) and i still had a good time (Just don't drink too much otherwise it gives them the wrong impression).

[Belurved]

If your not going to enjoy it dont go but did he invite u directly or did you get invited by someone else? If he specifically asked for ur presence then go if not stay at home with ur bf! (movie night perhaps :P)

[Somethingundecided]

I think it is rude not to go. You don't have to stay for the whole thing - just turn up for an hour or two, make yourself seen and then leave if you're not enjoying it. This person has made the effort of organizing the party, contacting and inviting you and therefore clearly would like you to attend. If you do go be sure to thank him afterward for the invite and party.

[Clare~Bear]

(Original post by Belurved)
If your not going to enjoy it dont go but did he invite u directly or did you get invited by someone else? If he specifically asked for ur presence then go if not stay at home with ur bf! (movie night perhaps :P)

Yeah he invited me and said that my bf can come to.

[Megaross]

How needy are you "Oh they don't make any effort to contact me"
Work has to come above social obligations if you want to, you know, pay your bills. Obviously you don't work else you'd know that.
And isn't it funny, they've invited you to a party but you're debating not going so you can what, sit indoors and get fat watching some ****e on telly?

Some friend you are.

[Mr Dangermouse]

(Original post by Megaross)
How needy are you "Oh they don't make any effort to contact me"
Work has to come above social obligations if you want to, you know, pay your bills. Obviously you don't work else you'd know that.
And isn't it funny, they've invited you to a party but you're debating not going so you can what, sit indoors and get fat watching some ****e on telly?

Some friend you are.

If the guy is in 6th form and at the time was 17 I doubt he pays bills.

[Tomcrease]

No, parties are not fun..

[Clare~Bear]

(Original post by Megaross)
How needy are you "Oh they don't make any effort to contact me"
Work has to come above social obligations if you want to, you know, pay your bills. Obviously you don't work else you'd know that.
And isn't it funny, they've invited you to a party but you're debating not going so you can what, sit indoors and get fat watching some ****e on telly?

Some friend you are.

(Original post by Mr Dangermouse)
If the guy is in 6th form and at the time was 17 I doubt he pays bills.

Indeed, he's at 6th form and doesn't pay any bills except for his car. His contracted hours are about 8-10 a week which his sixth form wouldn't be happy about if they found out. But last summer (including during the exam period) he was doing at least 20hrs a week! It's only at a spar shop so nothing important and by being a good friend and saying no to doing extra hours so that he could go to my party, he wouldn't lose his job. It wasn't like he'd known for weeks he was doing that shift and there was noone else to cover it.

He doesn't apy bills and isn't saving up for uni. All he seems to spend his wages on is fags, booze and a car. I do have a job megaross, but it's very part time and will only be in the summer holidays this year. And again you're soo wrong, it's on a friday, so I'd be playing badminton that night if I had nothing else planned.

[Mr Dangermouse]

(Original post by Clare~Bear)
Indeed, he's at 6th form and doesn't pay any bills except for his car. His contracted hours are about 8-10 a week which his sixth form wouldn't be happy about if they found out. But last summer (including during the exam period) he was doing at least 20hrs a week! He doesn't apy bills and isn't saving up for uni. All he spends it on is fags, booze and a car. I do have a job megaross, but it's very part time and will only be in the summer holidays this year. And again you're soo wrong, it's on a friday, so I'd be playing badminton that night if I had nothing else planned.

Your school can't do anything about you working unless you work illegal hours(ie beyond 10 at night)

I work 5 hours at a very well known shop but almost always do at least 10 in the form of one overtime shift in addition to my traditional shift. In fact it's usually 13 hours these days.

[Mr Dangermouse]

(Original post by Tomcrease)
No, parties are not fun..

Subjective.

[Clare~Bear]

(Original post by Mr Dangermouse)
Your school can't do anything about you working unless you work illegal hours(ie beyond 10 at night)

I work 5 hours at a very well known shop but almost always do at least 10 in the form of one overtime shift in addition to my traditional shift. In fact it's usually 13 hours these days.

His sixth form are strongly against students having jobs and allow at the most for students to do 5 or 6 hours a week. Apparantly, one person was doing badly in their exams and coursework (barely scraping passes). The sixth form found out that he was working 15-18 hrs a week and kicked him out half way through his AS year.

[Mr Dangermouse]

(Original post by Clare~Bear)
His sixth form are strongly against students having jobs and allow at the most for students to do 5 or 6 hours a week. Apparantly, one person was doing badly in their exams and coursework (barely scraping passes). The sixth form found out that he was working 15-18 hrs a week and kicked him out half way through his AS year.

They can't disallow work though.


If you're letting work get in the way of your grades then they could kick you out for not keeping on top of your schoolwork, but if your doing fine at school there's nothing they can do.

[Megaross]

(Original post by Clare~Bear)
Indeed, he's at 6th form and doesn't pay any bills except for his car. His contracted hours are about 8-10 a week which his sixth form wouldn't be happy about if they found out. But last summer (including during the exam period) he was doing at least 20hrs a week! It's only at a spar shop so nothing important and by being a good friend and saying no to doing extra hours so that he could go to my party, he wouldn't lose his job. It wasn't like he'd known for weeks he was doing that shift and there was noone else to cover it.

He doesn't apy bills and isn't saving up for uni. All he seems to spend his wages on is fags, booze and a car. I do have a job megaross, but it's very part time and will only be in the summer holidays this year. And again you're soo wrong, it's on a friday, so I'd be playing badminton that night if I had nothing else planned.

He's got car bills to pay, who else is gonna pay they. And you forget he has a responsibility to his employer, if he's been called up to cover a shift last minute then odds are theres no one else to cover it and if he needs the money to pay for car repairs or insurance it's wise to take it. Cars are damn expensive, I'm surprised he can afford it off 10 hours a week in spar.

8-10 hours a week isn't a lot, 20 hours is barely enough for part time, over summer I do 50-60 hours a week, more if I can get the overtime.

You're also missing the point, you moan about him not going to your party but you'll ditch him to go play badminton. Practise what you preach or shut up and sit in the corner.

[Clare~Bear]

(Original post by Megaross)
He's got car bills to pay, who else is gonna pay they. And you forget he has a responsibility to his employer, if he's been called up to cover a shift last minute then odds are theres no one else to cover it and if he needs the money to pay for car repairs or insurance it's wise to take it. Cars are damn expensive, I'm surprised he can afford it off 10 hours a week in spar.

8-10 hours a week isn't a lot, 20 hours is barely enough for part time, over summer I do 50-60 hours a week, more if I can get the overtime.

You're also missing the point, you moan about him not going to your party but you'll ditch him to go play badminton. Practise what you preach or shut up and sit in the corner.

He doesn't NEED a car though. The busstop he gets on from his house to sixth form is a couple of minute walk from his house and he can easily walk into town from where he lives. I know what he's like. I'm sure his boss sees him as a soft target and calls him up first because they know that my friend can easily be pushed into doing over-time. he can only afford it cos in the holidays last year he was working 20-30 hours a week. Plus it's his mums car so he doesn't have to pay for everything but he has to pay for; petrol money, 1/2 the MOT and road tax etc, the extra insurance to cover him and for any damage he does. Plus when his mum is working he still has to egt the bus to sixth form so has a yearly bus pass anyway which he's already paid for.

I'm not ditching him to go to badminton. Not once did I mention in my OP that I paly badminton that night of the week. I only mentioned that I usually play badminton on a friday night because someone suggested that if I wasn't at the party, I'd be sat at home watching the tv. There have been several fridays that i've had parties etc to go to, so I didn't go to badminton. FFS I wish people would read my posts properly before having a go at me.

[sdillon590]

Adam Yauch fought for your right to party, go, and do him proud.

[Megaross]

(Original post by Clare~Bear)
He doesn't NEED a car though. The busstop he gets on from his house to sixth form is a couple of minute walk from his house and he can easily walk into town from where he lives. I know what he's like. I'm sure his boss sees him as a soft target and calls him up first because they know that my friend can easily be pushed into doing over-time. he can only afford it cos in the holidays last year he was working 20-30 hours a week. Plus it's his mums car so he doesn't have to pay for everything but he has to pay for; petrol money, 1/2 the MOT and road tax etc, the extra insurance to cover him and for any damage he does. Plus when his mum is working he still has to egt the bus to sixth form so has a yearly bus pass anyway which he's already paid for.

I'm not ditching him to go to badminton. Not once did I mention in my OP that I paly badminton that night of the week. I only mentioned that I usually play badminton on a friday night because someone suggested that if I wasn't at the party, I'd be sat at home watching the tv. There have been several fridays that i've had parties etc to go to, so I didn't go to badminton. FFS I wish people would read my posts properly before having a go at me.

We don't need a lot of things, but it's nice to have them. If we only went for just what we need then no bugger would work and we'd all be living in caves, the guy does overtime to pay his costs, it's commendable.
You don't need to go to badminton, but someones got to pay for it.

I wish you'd take note of what I'm saying, you're considering not going to this party. Ergo, you are considering ditching your friend to indulge in a hobby.
By your logic, and what you expect of your friend you should drop everything to go to his party regardless.

You know what, do whatever, hypocrites never get far in life anyway.