[Anonymous]

Please keep Anon.

I'm diagnosed with BPD, OCD and anxiety, for years I was stuck in a pretty morbid depression and struggling with my symptoms. This became easier with talking/drug therapy and I've managed to get my life on track, I'm doing well in my exams and I am starting University this September.

I am extremely excited at the prospect of 'a new life' beginning, a career starting that I am pretty much guaranteed employment at the end of, and a chance that I could find a steady relationship with someone with the same morals/life wishes as me (I was plagued by the typical BPD rushing into destructive relationships with the wrong people bug!), it will also be the first time I move out of home to a responsibility I've craved for SO long (I'm a mature student, mental illness has put me back a few years). However, the more I think about it the more I am doubting whether I can do this. It's all becoming very real and inside I am becoming terrified wondering 'Am I really ready for this?' 'Can I take on all this responsibility?' 'Am I going to miss my parents too much?'

I know I just need to give it a go and try my best, and get support when I need it but I just wondered if any one else was in or has been in a similar situation? Things are going the best they've EVER gone for me, but I'm STILL finding something to worry about. Grrr!!

[acecoffee]

could understand your fustration . it is a great thing you have done well regardness of the mental health condition .

i think it will be wise to apply for dsa ,not that you might need help constantly , but just incase any relapse or symptom got worse .all my friend told me human resources help ,eg,mentor , note take . had been extremely helpful when they were in distress .

i also got BPD and struggle with OCD and anxiety few year ago , now i m dont fit the critea so it list down 'symptom of OCD and anxiety' BPD ,psychotic depression instead . i was slight worry but then all become very real to me when i actually was left alone in my bedroom .

just think when ever you are worry that , you got someone backing you up , regardness of your friend and family and regardless how bad thing might seems like , you are moving forward .plus it is still better at your 'worst moment' anyway .

just have fun , relax and keep thinking about the good thing that could have had happen .dont go over stress and dont have to constantly thining need to be at my best .uni could be hard for some people let alone people have mental illness .

take care

[Anonymous]

I realised I had BPD after I bought a book about it - dummies guide - to better understand my mother, only to realise I had all the traits! Virtual breakdown followed at the ripe old age of 38 as I realised so much behaviour, key decisions and appalling relationships were caused by my condition. Stick to your plans, I think BPDs are at least quite able to handle change and move on, perhaps better than most. I have found inner peace and a great perspective on life through that dummies guide book and re evaluating my place on earth; still get the odd day of despair and futility of course but the stalking depression and rage has gone! Good luck

[superwolf]

Mega well done for all the progress you've made.

My own biggest mental health problem is depression, and I don't have any experience of BPD, but I thought I'd try and give you a bit of encouragement anyway. I know what it's like to finally feel like you're getting better from being really ill, but be aware that this is within the context of a 'safe' environment - in my case my recovery last year took place while living with my sister, who helped me a great deal in establishing routines, returning to socialising and generally creating more healthy living patterns. And I think your thoughts and worries are very reasonable ones to be having, of course you're going to be thinking about how moving out will affect you, and whether or not you are ready. And yes, ultimately you do have to just push ahead and do this, but you can still be making plans to give yourself the best possible chances, or whatever safety nets you think are advisable.

There's a lot your uni can do to support disabled students (sorry if I'm repeating stuff you already know) - if you haven't done so already I'd definitely get in touch with their disabilities office, explain your current situation and history, and see when you can get together to discuss all the things that can be done for you (trust me, they'll come up with a list the length of your arm ). I'd also definitely consider applying for DSA, which your uni's disabilities office can help you with.

Your uni should also have a disabled students' representative and some sort of society that you can join - although I haven't done this it could be worth doing if you want extra support or just the opportunity to socialise with people you know won't be judgemental.

For myself, having a good personal tutor (the person you go to first with your academic problems) is vital, as my mental health problems have led to my having to request a number of concessions to be made or various other things to be discussed or researched. My own one has been a godsend, but since there are unfortunately some people who don't quite get mental health issues it might be worth your putting in a request to be assigned someone with experience dealing with long-term health issues, particularly mental ones.

Plus of course there's the social side of life - one thing I quite regret about this year is not becoming involved in any clubs or societies, which I feel has contributed to my currently declining state of health. Since you're a mature student (you don't say how old though - I'm 24 and have had varied experiences with socialising with my younger coursemates), I expect looking outside of uni to other means of getting to know people would be a good step too - gym, evening classes (languages ), book clubs, that kind of thing. And make sure to keep in regular (but not smothering) contact with your old friends/family.

I think the best thing I had going for me this year when returning to uni (I had to take two years off) was my renewed enthusiasm for my studies, which I've managed to retain even though my illness is coming back, and I feel are keeping me going in one aspect at least. I absolutely love my subject, as I hope you will yours, and alongside with sensible planning of workloads I think having something meaningful and interesting to focus on can do a world of good for your mental health. So remember that although moving on to the challenge of university is of course going to test your ability to do well under new circumstances, it's also a great opportunity to be finding whole new reasons and methods of keeping yourself mentally healthy, and it's an absolutely awesome feeling to know that not only is there something out there to keep you interested in leading a worthwhile life, but that it's actually something that you're pretty good at (and it sounds like you have a great chance at that ).

Sorry for my post being so damn long, and best of luck for uni and your future career.

[Anonymous]

Hi BPDs
Please consider signing this petition & getting your friends to sign it to help other borderlines.

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/Adv...lity-Disorder/

Thanks=)

[Anonymous]

something wrong with link sry.

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/Adv...lity-Disorder/

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much for your replies, guys. I'm feeling more positive today about everything, the only thing I can do is grasp the opportunity with both hands and go for it; if I don't like it/feel its detrimental to my health then I can think about that then. Was looking up 'fear quotes' to try and inspire me and I think it worked. http://www.positivityblog.com/index....uotes-on-fear/ there's some good ones on here, but I think my fave is "You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith".

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