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i think suicide is the only answer

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    I honestly look at my life and i just cant see it being good.

    I have no family. We fell apart and as much as i try to fix it, no one cares about my efforts. Theyve just told me everything is my fault that we're not close anymore and they dont want anything to do with me. Im not welcome to go home anymore.

    Im in 2nd year of Uni and i can pretty much guarantee im going to fail. And even if i dont, i just feel like whats the point? Yes ill get a degree and i might be lucky and get a job. But its all so pointless.

    I just think if i was dead everything would be easier. Its not like theres a single person in this world that cares if im alive anyway.

    As my family have said- they dont want anything more to do with me. I have friends, but most of them are because I make the effort- none of them ever make the effort with me.

    If i was dead the world would just carry on ticking by and absolutely nothing would change- except my family might be annoyed at me because they have to pay for my funeral.
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    you're definetely depressed.No matter what happened your family is very harsh with you and you shouldn't feel responsible for their behavior.GET SOME HELP.
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    Maybe when you get your degree you should move away? If yo*u dislike your family and friends, it would be easier to start again in a different place I suppose :/ good luck!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I honestly look at my life and i just cant see it being good.

    I have no family. We fell apart and as much as i try to fix it, no one cares about my efforts. Theyve just told me everything is my fault that we're not close anymore and they dont want anything to do with me. Im not welcome to go home anymore.

    Im in 2nd year of Uni and i can pretty much guarantee im going to fail. And even if i dont, i just feel like whats the point? Yes ill get a degree and i might be lucky and get a job. But its all so pointless.

    I just think if i was dead everything would be easier. Its not like theres a single person in this world that cares if im alive anyway.

    As my family have said- they dont want anything more to do with me. I have friends, but most of them are because I make the effort- none of them ever make the effort with me.

    If i was dead the world would just carry on ticking by and absolutely nothing would change- except my family might be annoyed at me because they have to pay for my funeral.
    Why don't you just set your heart on trying to achieve something and making the best of your life? Along the way, you will make friends, experience new things, have fun etc.

    Being dead is boring. In the end, you will die and that will be it. You may as well make the most of life. Think about it - if you are considering death as a viable option, then surely you have nothing to loose by trying to improve your current situation?

    Tell me, what degree are you taking and what job would you see yourself getting if you are lucky?
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    I don't think death is the only way out for you. I used to feel the same, I even tried to kill myself a few times, but the thing that stopped me succeeding was the thought that if I die, somebody else will win. If you kill yourself, your family's negativity towards you will win, and I know that's not what you want. Go and talk to your tutor or uni health person but also find yourself a project to do, perhaps reading a series of books or learning a hobby but anything that will make you feel happier. That really helped me, I decided to try and improve my singing, and it really gave me something to do where I could escape. xx
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    (Original post by InnerTemple)
    Why don't you just set your heart on trying to achieve something and making the best of your life? Along the way, you will make friends, experience new things, have fun etc.

    Being dead is boring. In the end, you will die and that will be it. You may as well make the most of life. Think about it - if you are considering death as a viable option, then surely you have nothing to loose by trying to improve your current situation?

    Tell me, what degree are you taking and what job would you see yourself getting if you are lucky?
    because even if i try and live my life to achieve something. whats the point. having a close family is extremely important to me and i dont even have that anymore. family used to be everything to me.

    i dont really know what i want to do when i finish uni. (i cant say what degree im doing because people might figuyre out who i am).

    if im going to die why not sooner rather than later. it all gets to the same point eventually.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    because even if i try and live my life to achieve something. whats the point. having a close family is extremely important to me and i dont even have that anymore. family used to be everything to me.

    i dont really know what i want to do when i finish uni. (i cant say what degree im doing because people might figuyre out who i am).

    if im going to die why not sooner rather than later. it all gets to the same point eventually.
    Why don't you write a letter to your family telling them just how much you value them... u might get the message across better through a letter than talking as you will get less emotional. I think what you need to do is take some time out and think. Write a list of all the positive things in your life - you will find some... i know its hard but try to compare yourself to people worse off than u and u will realise that there are many positives in ur life. Then make a list of all the bad things in your life and write down a solution for each one. Maybe writing it all out will help u... it certainly helps me... sometimes u just have to cry or talk to someone rather than keeping it all inside u... why don't you try talking to a close friend.. do u have any sibling... won't they talk to you ?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    because even if i try and live my life to achieve something. whats the point. having a close family is extremely important to me and i dont even have that anymore. family used to be everything to me.

    i dont really know what i want to do when i finish uni. (i cant say what degree im doing because people might figuyre out who i am).

    if im going to die why not sooner rather than later. it all gets to the same point eventually.
    What do you think the point in life is? There is no one 'point'. Everyone achieves something different in life, although quite often there are certain achievements which the majority share - a job, marriage, children.

    Life is what YOU make of it. I know that you have had a hard time with your family and I know that you value a close family relationship. But life does not have to end just because one thing that is important to you may not be achievable.

    Why did your family fall apart? What happened? Do you speak to them or see them? Do you still have contact with relatives other than mum, dad, brother and sister?

    It is commendable to value having a close relationship with family. This value that you hold is not wasted - when you have your own family, you can build on this value.

    Yes, life always ends in death. I agree. However it is the journey you have on the way which is important - all the fun ends when we reach our destination!
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    I've also thought of death several times but now I'm glad I didn't do that. I have a suggestion: before throwing your life away, why not try enjoying it one last time? Live spontaneously, after all you have nothing to lose. Is there anything you want to do? Cinema, travel, ice cream...? If you are tired of your friends, how about walking down the streets and talk with some strangers? (maybe foreign tourists? They will love to meet a native ).

    And perhaps you could try consulting a psychologist? Depression is not something to deal alone.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I honestly look at my life and i just cant see it being good.

    I have no family. We fell apart and as much as i try to fix it, no one cares about my efforts. Theyve just told me everything is my fault that we're not close anymore and they dont want anything to do with me. Im not welcome to go home anymore.

    Im in 2nd year of Uni and i can pretty much guarantee im going to fail. And even if i dont, i just feel like whats the point? Yes ill get a degree and i might be lucky and get a job. But its all so pointless.

    I just think if i was dead everything would be easier. Its not like theres a single person in this world that cares if im alive anyway.

    As my family have said- they dont want anything more to do with me. I have friends, but most of them are because I make the effort- none of them ever make the effort with me.

    If i was dead the world would just carry on ticking by and absolutely nothing would change- except my family might be annoyed at me because they have to pay for my funeral.
    Wow, I don't know what to say. I'm no psychologist, but I'll do my best.

    "No one cares about my efforts" - I'm sure that's not true. You said you have friends. Don't they care? Besides, since when do we have to try for people? As far as I'm concerned, I try for ME. You should try for YOU, not for other people to be proud of you. Yes, it's great if someone cares. But it's not the reason you should carry on and thrive, whether that means financially, uni-wise, study-wise, job-wise, exam-wise: anything. You do it for you. Because once you achieve that, for YOU, it's the best feeling in the world.

    "I'm not welcome to go home anymore" - For whatever reason that is, at least you have friends. Some people have neither (think about those orphans on the street, beggars with nowhere to go), so be grateful.

    "I'm going to fail" - says who? It's not too late. If you have that sort of attitude, then you will fail. If you got through first year, and carried on, it shows you pretty much made an effort. Nothing will come of nothing. So try (remember, for YOU) and you won't fail. I promise you.

    "What's the point?" - I used to live in Egypt, a few years ago. Everyday I saw cases of extreme poverty. You know, there were teens in the slums who'd never been to school, and they never ask themselves that question. They never thought of giving up. They still went to look for jobs, even if that meant being a binman, paid the equivalent of 2p a day. You have everything - education, people who care and love you, money, roof over your head, food. How do you think those people'll feel if they saw you moaning, talking about suicide?

    The point of living is different for everyone. For me, I want to show my gratitude of being alive and make the most of it. I want to have fun and get that amazing feeling when I know I've made someone else happy. I want to make a difference, so I'm planning several volunteering trips soon abroad, I can't wait! May be challenging, but it'll be surely worth it. Then I want to get into med school and become a doctor, like my dad. I'm not doing it for him, I'm doing it for me.

    "If I was dead everything would be easier" - Easy is not what you should be after. By living easy, or contemplating suicide, in this case, you're not gaining anything. No pain, no gain. I'd rather live a hard life and gain immensely from it than live a boring one, with no challenge and no goal in life.

    " I have friends, but most of them are because I make the effort- none of them ever make the effort with me." - really? And how do you know? If you stayed silent for a whole day out with them. I'm sure they'd ask you what's wrong. If you weren't there anymore, they'd miss you. If you disappeared mysteriously, they'd ask for you. Isn't that caring? Isn't that them making the effort?

    "If i was dead the world would just carry on ticking by and absolutely nothing would change" - Yes, the world would carry on ticking, but that's life. The world will forget us one day, but so what? Like I said before, we shouldn't live for anyone else. Just do what you wanna do. What you enjoy doing. Isn't life worth living anyway? Isn't it worth having that experience? I just don't get it. How would anyone prefer to end their life, than living? Perhaps if you lived with immense pain, maybe. But you live in luxury compared to others who would die to have your place.

    I'm sorry if you find my view on life confusing. All I know is that you should never end what is a miracle. God, I sound so cheesy and spiritual here, but I hope I made you feel better.

    If you need someone to talk to you can PM, I won't mind.

    I'm so sorry you're going through this, but pain is temporary. One day you will probably think you were crazy for thinking this. Please, don't give up though. You are not weak.

    Best of luck :3
    #2

    well i doubt i'll be much help but i understand half of what you're feeling, not the family part but the rest of it, a lot of the time i don't see the point either but then i think, if i kill myself, doesn't this mean i wasted so many years of my life hating it, look at it this way, there's still a chance of improving your life.
    i suggest you make a 'new family', find valuable friends or keep your current friends and get closer, so close that it's like the family you want, i used to feel like i made the most effort in friendships but then i kind of stopped, just to see who really cares, keep it in your mind that everyone is a bit selfish, you can't have everyone's love and you should aim with being content with yourself first. i've started focusing on me now, it's helpful, write a list of things you want to achieve from succeeding in your uni degree to reading a book to bungee jumping to starting a new routine like exercise or meditation, whatever, and aim to do all those things by yourself or with a very close friend, some of these activities may help you meet new friends, the main idea is to take control of your own life, friends and family don't matter if you can't be content within your own self, try something new that makes you happy and try to stop caring about the other people, when your family see you're happy without them it'll make them realise that you're fine without them and they're probably still miserable and hating your guts without getting on with their own lives (not that i know your family issue as this may be completely irrelevant).
    to be honest, i think you should mainly focus on your studies since you think you may not pass, focus your energy on it, join a study group with different people who could even become your new buddies, and just aim high so you know you'll be happy when you get good results and then a good job, then you can do whatever it is you want with your life.
    dying just means you wasted almost 2 years in uni for no reason, make those years count instead!

    (and not meaning to impose on you, if you're not religious you could seek some comfort from religion so you don't feel so alone.)
    #2

    well i doubt i'll be much help but i understand half of what you're feeling, not the family part but the rest of it, a lot of the time i don't see the point either but then i think, if i kill myself, doesn't this mean i wasted so many years of my life hating it, look at it this way, there's still a chance of improving your life.
    i suggest you make a 'new family', find valuable friends or keep your current friends and get closer, so close that it's like the family you want, i used to feel like i made the most effort in friendships but then i kind of stopped, just to see who really cares, keep it in your mind that everyone is a bit selfish, you can't have everyone's love and you should aim with being content with yourself first. i've started focusing on me now, it's helpful, write a list of things you want to achieve from succeeding in your uni degree to reading a book to bungee jumping to starting a new routine like exercise or meditation, whatever, and aim to do all those things by yourself or with a very close friend, some of these activities may help you meet new friends, the main idea is to take control of your own life, friends and family don't matter if you can't be content within your own self, try something new that makes you happy and try to stop caring about the other people, when your family see you're happy without them it'll make them realise that you're fine without them and they're probably still miserable and hating your guts without getting on with their own lives (not that i know your family issue as this may be completely irrelevant).
    to be honest, i think you should mainly focus on your studies since you think you may not pass, focus your energy on it, join a study group with different people who could even become your new buddies, and just aim high so you know you'll be happy when you get good results and then a good job, then you can do whatever it is you want with your life.
    dying just means you wasted almost 2 years in uni for no reason, make those years count instead!

    (and not meaning to impose on you but if you're not religious then you could possibly seek comfort from religion if you're not so against it, if you are religious, spend more time with your religious being.)
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    (Original post by BarBaBaBaBarBaBaBa)
    Wow, I don't know what to say. I'm no psychologist, but I'll do my best.
    You said everything worth saying. I had suicidal thoughts before and I can totally relate to what you said.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I honestly look at my life and i just cant see it being good.

    I have no family. We fell apart and as much as i try to fix it, no one cares about my efforts. Theyve just told me everything is my fault that we're not close anymore and they dont want anything to do with me. Im not welcome to go home anymore.

    Im in 2nd year of Uni and i can pretty much guarantee im going to fail. And even if i dont, i just feel like whats the point? Yes ill get a degree and i might be lucky and get a job. But its all so pointless.

    I just think if i was dead everything would be easier. Its not like theres a single person in this world that cares if im alive anyway.

    As my family have said- they dont want anything more to do with me. I have friends, but most of them are because I make the effort- none of them ever make the effort with me.

    If i was dead the world would just carry on ticking by and absolutely nothing would change- except my family might be annoyed at me because they have to pay for my funeral.
    Hi OP,

    It sounds like you're having a difficult time right now. You say that you have no family and that despite your efforts to fix things, your efforts aren't appreciated and your family don't want anything to do with you. You mention that you're not welcome at home any more. I can't imagine how hurtful this must be.

    You've also said that you feel sure you're going to fail your second year of Uni, and that you feel things would be better if you were dead. I'm really sorry that things are bad enough to make you feel this way.

    Would you consider speaking to the Samaritans or Nightline? Their details can be found here: http://www.samaritans.org/ and here: http://nightline.ac.uk/nightlines. They both offer a range of different listening services so if you don't feel able to speak to them on the phone, you can email them and they will usually respond within a few hours, or Nightline even offer a 1:1 instant messaging listening service.

    I'm going to close this thread now, not because we don't care or we don't want to listen to you, but because we are not in the best position to help you and sometimes people post dangerous advice or make insensitive comments. The people best equipped to help you in terms of listening to you and helping you feel supported and able to cope with the stress you're under are the Samaritans or Nightline. Please get in touch with them. Alternatively, the Samaritans can call you with your permission if you feel unable to call them. If you would like me to ask them to call you, please PM me
Updated: May 16, 2012
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