Racist housemate is bullying me
For questions and advice about interpersonal relationships with friends, housemates, family and work colleagues.
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Re: Racist housemate is bullying meSadly, this is 100% correct.(Original post by ThumbsUp)
Even though racism is wrong on all levels, you did drag it out of her. It's not like she came up to you on day one and said 'I don't like you because your not white' and then verbally and physically started abusing you. Even though its a sad situation, she was to an extent, quite civil about her stupid prejudices, so it was neither bullying nor abuse, it was simply an unfortunate situation for you to be in.
**** all the negs you're just mad that I'm right, and the fact that OP has virtually no proof getting this girl in trouble is probably annoying you all even more lmao. As I basically said, you just need to move on OP, I've been to an all white school for 2 years and I'm not white at all, I know some people don't like me because of the colour of my skin, but I don't make them say it and then call it bullying and do you know why? Because that's giving in to the hate. -
Re: Racist housemate is bullying meI don't think the fact "she dragged it out of her" really makes a difference. If the racist girl was treating her in a bad way because she had racial prejudices against her, it's still racist even if the OP didn't find out it was racially motivated until a later stage. Someone can act in a racist way (i.e. treat you differently to others) towards you without them making it explicit that they're treating you that way because of race.(Original post by ThumbsUp)
Even though racism is wrong on all levels, you did drag it out of her. It's not like she came up to you on day one and said 'I don't like you because your not white' and then verbally and physically started abusing you. Even though its a sad situation, she was to an extent, quite civil about her stupid prejudices, so it was neither bullying nor abuse, it was simply an unfortunate situation for you to be in.
For example, my black friend was treated in a similar way at school by a white girl. Being white myself, the white girl told me that she was treating my black friend in that way because of something a long the lines of "hating blacks" and not thinking that "they belong in a school like ours", hoping for some kind of agreement (which she definitely DID NOT receive). However, she did not tell my black friend that she was blanking her because of that. Is that still racist behaviour? I think the answer's pretty obvious.Last edited by jo1692; 27-05-2012 at 22:16. -
Re: Racist housemate is bullying me
rascist people are dispicable, but there isn't much you can do about them.
she has the problem not you. if she is making you upset, you could tell the uni, but you're so close to the end of the year now there isn't much you can do.
and its as much your home as it is hers, so don't feel that you have to leave.
but if you want once exams are over, move out and leave a turd in her bed or something
hang in there
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Re: Racist housemate is bullying meI agree this shouldn't be classified as bullying but that girls head really needs checking(Original post by Notwithstanding)
Why exactly has this received such startling levels of negative rep? I'm curious. The phrasing was perhaps a little careless but there is a legit point there if you approach the debate with an unclouded mindset.
Bullying is the wrong word. Regardless of what anyone's opinion of racism is, the way the OP describes the situation sounds like this person didn't 'outwardly' do anything until challenged. We can say all manner of things about how we feel about people holding racist views but you say she left you alone. Is holding an opinion/prejudice a form of bullying if you don't act upon it? Is simply ignoring someone (who for whatever reason you don't want to talk to) acting upon it?
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Re: Racist housemate is bullying meI don't think you've been to Bath... I'd say it was about 50-50, personally.(Original post by Anonymous)
lol Im not the OP but i bet it's one of those unis like Bath or Durham, where the population is mainly whites.... -
Re: Racist housemate is bullying meI totally get your opinion and see exactly why you said this and you don't really deserve the negs for your opinion it is not as if you're defending her!(Original post by ThumbsUp)
Even though racism is wrong on all levels, you did drag it out of her. It's not like she came up to you on day one and said 'I don't like you because your not white' and then verbally and physically started abusing you. Even though its a sad situation, she was to an extent, quite civil about her stupid prejudices, so it was neither bullying nor abuse, it was simply an unfortunate situation for you to be in.
**** all the negs you're just mad that I'm right, and the fact that OP has virtually no proof getting this girl in trouble is probably annoying you all even more lmao. As I basically said, you just need to move on OP, I've been to an all white school for 2 years and I'm not white at all, I know some people don't like me because of the colour of my skin, but I don't make them say it and then call it bullying and do you know why? Because that's giving in to the hate.
HOWEVER, the bit which you may or may not get is the fact that even though she never SAID it...she ACTED it out in the form of exclusion. This was obviously the cause of why the OP felt they had to "drag it out of her" if you see where I'm coming from
You don't have to say anything to be a racist arsewipe it can be demonstrated without words and still make people feel like a piece of dog poo. -
Re: Racist housemate is bullying meWhilst also singing Tom Jones(Original post by Callum828)
Second this. I'm thinking blaring rap music, pictures of Malcolm X everywhere, that kinda thing.
Either that or dress up like Carlton and eat cress sandwiches while listening to opera. That'd probably be even funnier.
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Re: Racist housemate is bullying meI think you've given some great advice here(Original post by Octohedral)
It's unfair, but it's not really abuse - she's just ignoring you (I'm not belittling it, just giving you some consolation - I have heard of victims of some really hellish hate campaigns by housemates, so at least you don't have to go through that).
She was probably brought up by ignorant racist parents, and is too closed minded to change her mind. You have every right to be there, so don't leave, but if you react you will just reinforce her prejudices. There is no reason why you should be nice to her, but you can choose to be - show her you are above it, and be civil to her, and she may just realise how wrong she is. On the other hand, if she tries anything on get the university involved - you don't have to stand for it!
If you're really brave, make a cake, offer her some, and ask if she wants to talk about it. You might make a small difference in the world, and if you don't it's not your problem
(Or get your 6ft3 'cousin' to sort her out)
just one thing I'd wanna pick up on however, is the fact that it is not just ignoring them, it is socially excluding someone because of the colour of their skin. So really this silly bigot has actually acted out racism in the form of excluding someone. It is discrimination, I mean, think of it in the workplace...there'd be uproar
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Re: Racist housemate is bullying meThis is in reply to the last question/point you brought up but by no means a criticism.(Original post by Notwithstanding)
Why exactly has this received such startling levels of negative rep? I'm curious. The phrasing was perhaps a little careless but there is a legit point there if you approach the debate with an unclouded mindset.
Bullying is the wrong word. Regardless of what anyone's opinion of racism is, the way the OP describes the situation sounds like this person didn't 'outwardly' do anything until challenged. We can say all manner of things about how we feel about people holding racist views but you say she left you alone. Is holding an opinion/prejudice a form of bullying if you don't act upon it? Is simply ignoring someone (who for whatever reason you don't want to talk to) acting upon it?
Yes it is called exclusion and is a form of discrimination. It is actually illegal in practice, like the workplace for instance
I wouldn't call it abuse or bullying at all but it is definitely exclusion if you are in a situation (e.g. housemates) where you are forced at some point to make eye contact or whatever due to living arrangements.Last edited by Fraga; 29-05-2012 at 23:16. -
Re: Racist housemate is bullying meI disagree, it's not bullying and you don't have to see eye-to-eye with everyone you live with. Hardly worth kicking up a fuss about, just ignore her too cos she's ignorant IMO!(Original post by Fraga)
This is in reply to the last question/point you brought up but by no means a criticism.
Yes it is called exclusion and is a form of discrimination. It is actually illegal in practice, like the workplace for instance
I wouldn't call it abuse or bullying at all but it is definitely exclusion if you are in a situation (e.g. housemates) where you are forced at some point to make eye contact or whatever due to living arrangements.
It's hardly bullying cos someone ignores you, and a house isn't the workplace so it isn't illegal. -
Re: Racist housemate is bullying me
How is from what you said of her ignoring you can you class that as bullying or abuse?? Just because she doesn't like you and ignores you that isn't bullying or abuse, get over yourself and carry on with your life it's no loss to you there are other people out there that will chat to you etc, she ignores you = you ignore her problem solved she acts like you don't exist you act like she doesn't exist win win situation
don't play the race card, so what if she doesn't like brown or black people thats her choice and her right to either like them or not, the race card is getting so so old now it is getting beyond a joke
people shouldn't be forcing people to like brown or black people etc if they don't want to, it's like religion, no religion has the right to force their religion on others whether they have a religion or not so why should people be forced to like brown or black people etc, its basically the same your forcing something onto someone else which isn't at all right -
Re: Racist housemate is bullying me
Set a good example, don't react in a bad way and live up to her expectations of 'your kind of people', you never know maybe one day she may see you for who you are and change her mind.
She's most likely not racist, just ignorant and brought up conditioned with the idea of 'white superiority'.Last edited by Royale; 29-05-2012 at 23:23. -
Re: Racist housemate is bullying meThis is the kind of mentality that had my home country locked in apartheid for over 40 years, why should he just avoid it?(Original post by pr0view)
Why don't you get on with your life she obviously doesn't like you and you can't change that. It doesn't sounds like she actively tries to bother you. Just live you life and she will live hers. -
Re: Racist housemate is bullying meDidn't say it's bullying. It's excluding someone to the point they feel they have to stop and ask what the problem is. I ain't a moron though(Original post by IndyAM)
I disagree, it's not bullying and you don't have to see eye-to-eye with everyone you live with. Hardly worth kicking up a fuss about, just ignore her too cos she's ignorant IMO!
It's hardly bullying cos someone ignores you, and a house isn't the workplace so it isn't illegal.
and I agree everything don't have to be hunky-dory and all that tripe, but having manners and being civil never hurt anyone
doesn't hurt to say good morning or something or include someone in a domino's 2 for Tuesday if you see where I'm coming from.
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Re: Racist housemate is bullying meThis(Original post by Ishtiaq)
play tupac on full blast in the house
And this. I would make sure to go out of my way and do stereotypical stuff just to piss her off. What an idiot.(Original post by Reform)
Run around the house screaming 'Thug life' .

doesn't hurt to say good morning or something or include someone in a domino's 2 for Tuesday if you see where I'm coming from.