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Porn is wrecking my relationship

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    First off this is not about me being an ultra feminist, I know men watch porn, I mean I've even watched it before.

    But on my boyfriends computer, by accident I found HUNDREDS of videos that he'd downloaded. What's more, I also found that he had been on webcam to girls from some porn sites.

    I thought that he just watched a few vids when he was horny, but to see it is to this extent is just too much for me. But the real problem is it has given him a warped view of women. He says by boobs would be better if they were fake, criticisms every physical thing about me, and says I'm boring because I won't do things like anal, because "all girls do it." He talks about anal all the time, and I'm tired of it, I have given in and tried before, but it hurt me too much I don't want to try again.

    I'm seriously thinking of leaving him over this, because I can't be made to feel physically and sexually inferior by him because of what he sees online. Does anyone have any advice about what they would do in this position?
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    All girls do not do anal... the mass majority don't, in fact.

    Don't give in to the pressure of him asking for anal. In that sense porn has given him the wrong impressions of what to expect, also fake boobs are no where near as good as natural feeling boobs, on a screen they may look nicer because they're bigger and every man tends to love an eye full, but in reality nothing beats a natural woman, regardless of her size, even if she is close to flat chested it's fine.

    I'd have serious talks with how he treats you and expects you to be, you're not boring because you won't do anal and if I were you and someone called me boring because "all the girls do it" I'd probably flip my lid :P

    Hope it helps.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But the real problem is it has given him a warped view of women. He says by boobs would be better if they were fake, criticisms every physical thing about me, and says I'm boring because I won't do things like anal, because "all girls do it." He talks about anal all the time, and I'm tired of it, I have given in and tried before, but it hurt me too much I don't want to try again.
    This has nothing to do with porn, he's just a dick.
    #2

    Same issue here not with the porn but the what girls should do. My boyfriend said all girls do anal all his ex's did it no problem and loved it, im so boring for not doing it. But tbh the thought of doing it disgusts me
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    he sounds like an idiot
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    Tell him very firmly all the things that are wrong about his attitude to you and how it makes you feel. If he carries on, ditch and never look back.
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    (Original post by JD.27)
    This has nothing to do with porn, he's just a dick.
    What he said.
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    As above, unrelated to the porn, he's just an idiot. I was on his side until you started talking about him saying your boobs should be fake etc.

    He's got issues with tissues.


    As for anal, I'd be tempted to say that one swallow doesn't make a summer and to give it a fair go, just not with this fool. No wonder it was uncomfortable if he is so far off your wavelength.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First off this is not about me being an ultra feminist, I know men watch porn, I mean I've even watched it before.

    But on my boyfriends computer, by accident I found HUNDREDS of videos that he'd downloaded. What's more, I also found that he had been on webcam to girls from some porn sites.

    I thought that he just watched a few vids when he was horny, but to see it is to this extent is just too much for me. But the real problem is it has given him a warped view of women. He says by boobs would be better if they were fake, criticisms every physical thing about me, and says I'm boring because I won't do things like anal, because "all girls do it." He talks about anal all the time, and I'm tired of it, I have given in and tried before, but it hurt me too much I don't want to try again.

    I'm seriously thinking of leaving him over this, because I can't be made to feel physically and sexually inferior by him because of what he sees online. Does anyone have any advice about what they would do in this position?
    He's a lost cause. Whatever you think can change his opinion or turn-on's won't. It's been too long. He probably has a fore-arm like a tree-trunk by now...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First off this is not about me being an ultra feminist, I know men watch porn, I mean I've even watched it before.

    But on my boyfriends computer, by accident I found HUNDREDS of videos that he'd downloaded. What's more, I also found that he had been on webcam to girls from some porn sites.

    I thought that he just watched a few vids when he was horny, but to see it is to this extent is just too much for me. But the real problem is it has given him a warped view of women. He says by boobs would be better if they were fake, criticisms every physical thing about me, and says I'm boring because I won't do things like anal, because "all girls do it." He talks about anal all the time, and I'm tired of it, I have given in and tried before, but it hurt me too much I don't want to try again.

    I'm seriously thinking of leaving him over this, because I can't be made to feel physically and sexually inferior by him because of what he sees online. Does anyone have any advice about what they would do in this position?
    It's not the "porn's" fault, but your boyfriends. If you're unhappy with his unrealistic attitude towards sex, then step one would be to have a talk about how you feel and his attitudes towards unrealistic sex expectations. If he doesn't follow through with trying to come to some sort of mutally agreed compromise, then find someone else
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    Stop settling and dump the fool.
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    I think he is frustrated because he cannot unleash his sexual fantasies with you. Whenever you caught a boyfriend watching porns all the time when he has a girlfriend by his side, it means he is not satisfied. I would say that the worse thing about watching porns is desensitizing your sexual pleasure when it comes to have sex with a real person. In real life, you have to be able to feel your sexual partner with 5 senses, in porn you only need visual stimulation, which is incredibly bad. Your brain will get used to this pattern and your actual skills in bed decline or revert back to zero.

    You should leave him right now since he has been totally desexualized. Anal sex is actually not easy to pull off without proper understanding of your sexual partner. I've never gone for it with my new sexual partners unless they already have a clear preference.
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    (Original post by Anon420)
    All girls do not do anal... the mass majority don't, in fact.

    Don't give in to the pressure of him asking for anal. In that sense porn has given him the wrong impressions of what to expect, also fake boobs are no where near as good as natural feeling boobs, on a screen they may look nicer because they're bigger and every man tends to love an eye full, but in reality nothing beats a natural woman, regardless of her size, even if she is close to flat chested it's fine.

    I'd have serious talks with how he treats you and expects you to be, you're not boring because you won't do anal and if I were you and someone called me boring because "all the girls do it" I'd probably flip my lid :P

    Hope it helps.
    Disagree with first statement, most girls I know have/would try it, you just need to approach the subject correctly.
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    (Original post by Anon420)
    All girls do not do anal
    *Not all girls do anal
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First off this is not about me being an ultra feminist, I know men watch porn, I mean I've even watched it before.

    But on my boyfriends computer, by accident I found HUNDREDS of videos that he'd downloaded. What's more, I also found that he had been on webcam to girls from some porn sites.

    I thought that he just watched a few vids when he was horny, but to see it is to this extent is just too much for me. But the real problem is it has given him a warped view of women. He says by boobs would be better if they were fake, criticisms every physical thing about me, and says I'm boring because I won't do things like anal, because "all girls do it." He talks about anal all the time, and I'm tired of it, I have given in and tried before, but it hurt me too much I don't want to try again.

    I'm seriously thinking of leaving him over this, because I can't be made to feel physically and sexually inferior by him because of what he sees online. Does anyone have any advice about what they would do in this position?
    Less thinking more doing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First off this is not about me being an ultra feminist, I know men watch porn, I mean I've even watched it before.

    But on my boyfriends computer, by accident I found HUNDREDS of videos that he'd downloaded. What's more, I also found that he had been on webcam to girls from some porn sites.

    I thought that he just watched a few vids when he was horny, but to see it is to this extent is just too much for me. But the real problem is it has given him a warped view of women. He says by boobs would be better if they were fake, criticisms every physical thing about me, and says I'm boring because I won't do things like anal, because "all girls do it." He talks about anal all the time, and I'm tired of it, I have given in and tried before, but it hurt me too much I don't want to try again.

    I'm seriously thinking of leaving him over this, because I can't be made to feel physically and sexually inferior by him because of what he sees online. Does anyone have any advice about what they would do in this position?
    I feel you! Porn does give men so many warped ideas about how women are 'supposed' to behave in bed.
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    Dont change anything about yourself just because he asks you to. Dont let anyone convince you on something you dont want yourself.

    And on that topic : he is young as we all are and some of us are quite "active" when it comes to sex, its new and interesting. That I think explains why he watches so much porn and yes loads of testerone in young male adults. Make him join a sport club or something to waste all that energy
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    Send him a video of some pegging porn and say you're really turned on by it and you want to do it to him, and keep on about it. See how he likes it!

    More seriously though - if youre unhappy with your relationship try sitting down with him and telling him how you feel. If he keeps pressuring you, you might want to walk away and find someone who is happy with you being you
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    (Original post by Anon420)
    All girls do not do anal... the mass majority don't, in fact.
    Not in my experience.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Same issue here not with the porn but the what girls should do. My boyfriend said all girls do anal all his ex's did it no problem and loved it, im so boring for not doing it. But tbh the thought of doing it disgusts me
    dont be a party pooper!

    Be a pooper trooper!

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Updated: May 18, 2012
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