[Anonymous]

Hey guys,

So this is is quite a complicated situation for me as the friendship between me and this guy started years and years ago when we both first started secondary school. I'm in uni now and he is on a gap year.

I guess I should have seen it coming from the very beginning that I would really start to like him, but I didn't, and if I did, i ignored it/was in denial. I have always quite liked our friendship, it was never too intimate and was always stable, yet we have been very close for a number of years.

Hes liked a couple of friends of mine and I would always be the one he would discuss things like that with. I was never really jealous, and was quite happy for him, even though I did like him a little bit. I guess I was in the friendzone or whatever. But not really, because hes not my type and I DON'T want a relationship with him. I have only this year finally accepted that I do have feelings for him. I thought going away to Uni would eradicate those feelings, but if anything, they just grew stronger. I know he does not feel the same way, and if he did, I don't think he would tell me anyway.

So I want to tell him that I have feelings for him, later this summer before I go back to uni, not because I want a relationship (I will not be asking him out, or hoping that he feels the same way) but because I feel its just gone on too long and it may be stopping me from wanting other guys (and was also so distracting during exam time). I feel that at least he knows how I feel, and it will stop me from wondering "what if" in the future.


I guess I would like some advice on if I should tell him or not, how I should say it, and if other people have been in similar situations? I know people may think I should just block him out of my life and move on but it's not that simple since due to mutual friends I would have to see him all the time. Sorry if I don't make sense, I'm just so confused. Thanks for reading
xx

[A128]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey guys,

So this is is quite a complicated situation for me as the friendship between me and this guy started years and years ago when we both first started secondary school. I'm in uni now and he is on a gap year.

I guess I should have seen it coming from the very beginning that I would really start to like him, but I didn't, and if I did, i ignored it/was in denial. I have always quite liked our friendship, it was never too intimate and was always stable, yet we have been very close for a number of years.

Hes liked a couple of friends of mine and I would always be the one he would discuss things like that with. I was never really jealous, and was quite happy for him, even though I did like him a little bit. I guess I was in the friendzone or whatever. But not really, because hes not my type and I DON'T want a relationship with him. I have only this year finally accepted that I do have feelings for him. I thought going away to Uni would eradicate those feelings, but if anything, they just grew stronger. I know he does not feel the same way, and if he did, I don't think he would tell me anyway.

So I want to tell him that I have feelings for him, later this summer before I go back to uni, not because I want a relationship (I will not be asking him out, or hoping that he feels the same way) but because I feel its just gone on too long and it may be stopping me from wanting other guys (and was also so distracting during exam time). I feel that at least he knows how I feel, and it will stop me from wondering "what if" in the future.


I guess I would like some advice on if I should tell him or not, how I should say it, and if other people have been in similar situations? I know people may think I should just block him out of my life and move on but it's not that simple since due to mutual friends I would have to see him all the time. Sorry if I don't make sense, I'm just so confused. Thanks for reading
xx

Ive been in a similar situation...its a tough call really, it depends on if you do tell him, would it ruin your friendship if he doesnt feel the same way? As in every time you see him after will you have that awkwardness getting in the way? If you think that wont happen than you should tell him..it would clear things up and regardless of what he says you may be able to more easily 'forget' about those feelings.

Its up to you... good luck on whatever decision you make

[Studentus-anonymous]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey guys,

So this is is quite a complicated situation for me as the friendship between me and this guy started years and years ago when we both first started secondary school. I'm in uni now and he is on a gap year.

I guess I should have seen it coming from the very beginning that I would really start to like him, but I didn't, and if I did, i ignored it/was in denial. I have always quite liked our friendship, it was never too intimate and was always stable, yet we have been very close for a number of years.

Hes liked a couple of friends of mine and I would always be the one he would discuss things like that with. I was never really jealous, and was quite happy for him, even though I did like him a little bit. I guess I was in the friendzone or whatever. But not really, because hes not my type and I DON'T want a relationship with him. I have only this year finally accepted that I do have feelings for him. I thought going away to Uni would eradicate those feelings, but if anything, they just grew stronger. I know he does not feel the same way, and if he did, I don't think he would tell me anyway.

So I want to tell him that I have feelings for him, later this summer before I go back to uni, not because I want a relationship (I will not be asking him out, or hoping that he feels the same way) but because I feel its just gone on too long and it may be stopping me from wanting other guys (and was also so distracting during exam time). I feel that at least he knows how I feel, and it will stop me from wondering "what if" in the future.


I guess I would like some advice on if I should tell him or not, how I should say it, and if other people have been in similar situations? I know people may think I should just block him out of my life and move on but it's not that simple since due to mutual friends I would have to see him all the time. Sorry if I don't make sense, I'm just so confused. Thanks for reading
xx

Sorry, you're a big girl who knows you don't want a relationship with him or anything and only fancy him a little.


Why do you need to tell him? At all? If you don't want anything from him? At all?

You're sounding stupid, stop sounding stupid because I get the impression you're otherwise not.

It's really tragic these days that people seem incapable of ignoring some minor attraction, yet seem incapable of acting on actual full blown attraction.


Like you said yourself, you want nothing from him, you need nothing from him, and he doesn't want or need anything from you, you are both happy with being friends.

Be a big girl now and leave it alone. The only thing stopping you from wanting other guys is yourself.

[Anonymous]

sort of in a similar situation as well! i would say if you're going crazy thinking about it constantly/can't seem to move on with other guys then you have to say something. it depends on if you've ever kissed or slept with him, if not are your feelings based on because you think you're just really comfortable with him and miss him?

in comparison to my situation, i will never tell my friend. we are going our seperate ways this september to uni etc but i don't think i'd be able to tell him we are best friends acting like we are in an open relationship, it's too weird!