[Anonymous]

Hello, I wouldn't normally post a thread, but i really feel that I need some help with quite a delicate situation, (I am not asking to be judged or criticised).

To cut a long story short, I am an 18 year old girl, and I've been chatting to a 24 year old guy on a penpals website for a few days, as well as using Skype. Since this guy comes from Saudi Arabia, he has told me in the last hour or so that he would quite like to meet me, and that he is prepared to spend a few days in London this summer to do so.

He then raised the subject of marriage, but I told him that you can obviously not marry someone who you've met online, and that I am starting at university in September, and would like to meet him a few times before we discuss such a serious commitment.

So could you please help me, should I meet him in London or not? I've told him that I'd meet him for a couple of days with my father (who lives in London) present on both occasions, and I've told him that he should bring a friend due to his lack of experience in travelling. What should I do?

Thank you for your help.

[alawhisp]

(Original post by Anonymous)
He then raised the subject of marriage, but I told him that you can obviously not marry someone who you've met online, and that I am starting at university in September, and would like to meet him a few times before we discuss such a serious commitment.

Should you meet a guy from Saudi Arabia who wants to marry you before you have even seen him in person..

No, probably not. Unless you're into the psycho type.

[c471]

stinks of a visa attempt if you ask me.

quite clearly, you are never going to be able to have a relationship unless you a) move to saudi, or b) he moves here (I bet he is keen on this too).

Seriously, nobody who talks of marriage this early on is doing it based on anything to do with you.
seen as he has never met you, probably doesnt even know anything about you of substance, has never really seen you, if he genuinely wants to get married, it is because he wants a marriage, not because he wants to be with you.

And frankly, everybody deserves to be with somebody who loves THEM and wants to be with THEM. Why bother with the hassle, is it not better to wait for somebody who loves you?

As an aside, I mean this as absolutely no offence, but you are obviously quite susceptable. This guy has got you to agree to meet a total stranger who you have talked to for a few hours on the net.
Most girls would have told him to take a hike at that suggestion.
unfortunately there are some unscrupulous people in this world, and i think agreeing to this leaves you vulnerable to a spiral of manipulation and potential abuse.

The serious abusers (violent or otherwise) dont start abusive. Its a downward slope, starting with them being able to get to you agree to things you wouldnt normally consider good, but very mundane, slowly progressing over time.

He might be fine, but this strikes me as seriously suspicious, and as you clearly dont seem that invested, cut and run while its easy.

[jelly1000]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello, I wouldn't normally post a thread, but i really feel that I need some help with quite a delicate situation, (I am not asking to be judged or criticised).

To cut a long story short, I am an 18 year old girl, and I've been chatting to a 24 year old guy on a penpals website for a few days, as well as using Skype. Since this guy comes from Saudi Arabia, he has told me in the last hour or so that he would quite like to meet me, and that he is prepared to spend a few days in London this summer to do so.

He then raised the subject of marriage, but I told him that you can obviously not marry someone who you've met online, and that I am starting at university in September, and would like to meet him a few times before we discuss such a serious commitment.

So could you please help me, should I meet him in London or not? I've told him that I'd meet him for a couple of days with my father (who lives in London) present on both occasions, and I've told him that he should bring a friend due to his lack of experience in travelling. What should I do?

Thank you for your help.

i would think twice about meeting up with someone who is discussing marriage before you have even met

[The_Jammy_Witch]

(Original post by alawhisp)
Should you meet a guy from Saudi Arabia who wants to marry you before you have even seen him in person..

No, probably not. Unless you're into the psycho type.

Dis. Welcome back to the fray.

[alawhisp]

(Original post by The_Jammy_Witch)
Dis. Welcome back to the fray.

A flying visit, my dear

[Simon_92]

If one of the first topics he discusses with you before meeting you is marriage... Then no I wouldn't advise it.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App