[ConstantlyStressed]

No-one will probably read this, but thank you if you do.

I'm a student in my last year of college, and I'm taking Maths, English Literature and Psychology.

I study so much because it's what my parents expect of me. But today, I realized that I wasn't happy with my life and the way it's going.

I live in a huge family - I have 9 brothers and sisters - and I came home today from the library (where I spent hours and hours trying my best to understand Maths) to find my room trashed, my notes that I'd spent hours trying to organized ripped and thrown about. My little sister and brother snuck into my room and messed up everything.

I guess when I walked into the room and saw the chaos, I just couldn't take it. I started crying and crying, and when my mum came in and tried to get me to calm down, I told her to leave me for a little while. I don't think I'm crying just because of the room - though that does seem to be a part in causing it. I think I'm crying because..I'm under so much stress, and I just can't take it any more. I'm terrified of exams, and my parents want me to get A grades this summer, and the pressure is just too much.

I know that so many other students are experiencing this, but I guess I want to talk to someone, and let it out.

[ShanaE]

First of all, breathe lol!
Just tell your parents that you have some major exams coming up, and need the house to be as peaceful and calm as possible. Try and keep your notes where your younger siblings cannot reach them.. or put a lock on your door (y).
Keep going to the Library if it helps, and try to get as much done at school as possible!
I know what it is like, as I struggle to revise at home, as I have to help care for my mum and brother, and I panic too! I often go round to my friends house, where we revise together, or we both stay after school sometimes.
I hate exams, along with everyone, but we have to do them. Yes its stressful, but as girls, we have to get on with it lol .
I hope this helps. Good luck xx

[alicia1969]

Well my love, I just came across your cry for help while searching for something to help my son who is doing his A levels and you've had me crying too! I really do feel for you. You have done the most important and bravest thing in recognising that enough is enough and you are not coping. Unfortunately life gets like this every now and again but it does'nt make it any easier to cope with when you're in it. My daughter has a friend who is in a family of 5 children and when ever I go there I always think that it is an impossible environment for the older 2 to study in. The fact that your room has been messed up is bound to upset you dreadfully.
Some how you need to try and get everything back into perspective which is easier said than done. You sound like a lovely person because you are worrying so much about what your parents will think if you don't get A grades. It is often the case that we hear a lot about students getting As and A*s these days and people lose sight of just how very difficult it is to get those grades. I would be very proud if my children got As but I would never tell them that I 'expect' it of them. What I do expect is that they plan ahead to work out what to revise and when (I help them with this if I can) and then I expect them to revise pretty solidly in the weeks leading up to exams. They may get As, they may get Cs but I know they won't look back and think they could have done more. There is so much pressure put on you today and it's wrong. My son has been feeling stressed because his college forced him to do 4 A levels and we have had a huge battle to have this reduced to 3. The subjects you are doing are not easy choices and you are bound to be finding this time stressful to some extent. If you get As and make yourself ill with stress in the process it will not be worth it. You will then be pressurised to apply for courses that require such high grades, that those courses will then continue to cause you stress. You just need to do what you are capable of with a reasonable amount of revision and then if you get perhaps Bs and Cs they are still excellent achievements and you should be proud of them. You need to take regular breaks to try and prevent yourself getting so stressed and it would definitely be a good idea to find somewhere different to revise - maybe in school, a friend's house or even perhaps a quieter neighbours house or a relative's house because a couple of hours in a quiet environment would be better than twice as much with your brothers and sisters around. If you can, could you talk to someone at college about how you are feeling? I expect you have a tutor or perhaps one of the subject teacher. You need to be really brave and admit to them that you are not coping. You may like you so rightly say, just feel better for telling someone.
I'm waffling on a bit now but please believe that people understand how you feel and are sympathetic. Try and get back on track with your revision tomorrow but don't set yourself unrealistic targets of what you van manage to fit in. You can only work at your own pace. If you did get very high grades it will just push you towards starting further study at such a high level that you will continue to be stressed. There are lots of good courses that require grades more in the B/C range where you hopefully get time to enjoy life as well. Despite what you might believe very few people get As and A*s - you will see lots of people on sites like this talking about high grades but the reality is that only a small proportion get those grades and getting 3 A levels at lower grades is still a fantastic achievement and someone needs to remind you of that. I hope you feel a bit stronger again very soon and able to cope. Just fit in what you can and that's all that can be expected of you. I wish you all the very best and one final hint - we find chocolate helps a lot in our house!!

[ManchesterUnited7_]

^^ amazing advice


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[PoGo HoPz]

I could cheer you up, if you'd like?

[SoulfulBoy]

(Original post by ConstantlyStressed)
No-one will probably read this, but thank you if you do.

I'm a student in my last year of college, and I'm taking Maths, English Literature and Psychology.

I study so much because it's what my parents expect of me. But today, I realized that I wasn't happy with my life and the way it's going.

I live in a huge family - I have 9 brothers and sisters - and I came home today from the library (where I spent hours and hours trying my best to understand Maths) to find my room trashed, my notes that I'd spent hours trying to organized ripped and thrown about. My little sister and brother snuck into my room and messed up everything.

I guess when I walked into the room and saw the chaos, I just couldn't take it. I started crying and crying, and when my mum came in and tried to get me to calm down, I told her to leave me for a little while. I don't think I'm crying just because of the room - though that does seem to be a part in causing it. I think I'm crying because..I'm under so much stress, and I just can't take it any more. I'm terrified of exams, and my parents want me to get A grades this summer, and the pressure is just too much.

I know that so many other students are experiencing this, but I guess I want to talk to someone, and let it out.

You should study what you want not what you parents want or expect you to want. Can't you move to a friend's place for exams?

[Darian...]

I was a visitor until minutes ago, I read your post and I felt that I NEED to reply, so I registered
Now listen to what I say...(actually I'm typing not talking )
The first thing I noticed was your subjects, as it seems like a little odd to me the three are Maths,Psychology, English Literature. As u said u are in trouble with maths, I don't know how much true that is... but let me let u know although many people think that Maths is needed for everyone I think that any subject if it's not suitable for your personality then u must not bother learning it by force...anyone's mind is suitable for something, maybe maths, maybe literature, or maybe PE...I believe that if ANYONE chooses the subjects that he/she TRULY loves, then NOTHING can stop him/her.
Second, about the stress I'm sorry but I've never had that much stress for any examination (not even examinations in the life out of school) what u need to do is to think that what YOU expect from yourself is much more important than what others do, just relax nothing must be able to take your calmness from u, I'm not saying that just don't worry... that's wrong ... being too much stressed is WRONG also being too much carefree is WRONG as well, u need to worry but it must not affect the other things in your life in a negative way, too much of ANYTHING is wrong...
About the fact that you said you were crying...that's sometimes necessary for both men and women no difference, it's good if it lets u calm down a little bit.
I hope that the things I said have not been USELESS for u (cause I don't think they've been useful:-j) I appreciate that u thought that u needed to talk that's the best thing to do when u don't know what to do...

[whatsername2009]

(Original post by ConstantlyStressed)
No-one will probably read this, but thank you if you do.

I'm a student in my last year of college, and I'm taking Maths, English Literature and Psychology.

I study so much because it's what my parents expect of me. But today, I realized that I wasn't happy with my life and the way it's going.

I live in a huge family - I have 9 brothers and sisters - and I came home today from the library (where I spent hours and hours trying my best to understand Maths) to find my room trashed, my notes that I'd spent hours trying to organized ripped and thrown about. My little sister and brother snuck into my room and messed up everything.

I guess when I walked into the room and saw the chaos, I just couldn't take it. I started crying and crying, and when my mum came in and tried to get me to calm down, I told her to leave me for a little while. I don't think I'm crying just because of the room - though that does seem to be a part in causing it. I think I'm crying because..I'm under so much stress, and I just can't take it any more. I'm terrified of exams, and my parents want me to get A grades this summer, and the pressure is just too much.

I know that so many other students are experiencing this, but I guess I want to talk to someone, and let it out.

First of all, *hugs*.

It's perfectly normal to get stressed out when you have exams, especially when you have so much else to deal with. If you want to cry, go ahead and cry. It often helps to just let everything out. When I'm stressed I'll often get upset over small things, but it sounds like what happened to you was actually a pretty big deal - no one wants to see their hard work go to waste, after all, so you have every right to be angry.

I think you need to have a good long conversation with your parents. This may sound harsh, but I think they're at the root of your problems: they've put a lot of pressure on you to do well in your exams, but they're also failing to provide a home environment that's conducive to revision, and that's not a good combination. They're the only ones who can control your younger siblings, so it's their responsibility to ensure that they don't interfere with your revision. Perhaps they just don't realise that they're putting too much pressure on you, which is another reason why you have to talk to them.

Stay strong, and good luck with your revision. If there's some sort of quiet study area at college that you can use, it might be worth looking into.

[ConstantlyStressed]

(Original post by alicia1969)
Well my love, I just came across your cry for help while searching for something to help my son who is doing his A levels and you've had me crying too! I really do feel for you. You have done the most important and bravest thing in recognising that enough is enough and you are not coping. Unfortunately life gets like this every now and again but it does'nt make it any easier to cope with when you're in it. My daughter has a friend who is in a family of 5 children and when ever I go there I always think that it is an impossible environment for the older 2 to study in. The fact that your room has been messed up is bound to upset you dreadfully.
Some how you need to try and get everything back into perspective which is easier said than done. You sound like a lovely person because you are worrying so much about what your parents will think if you don't get A grades. It is often the case that we hear a lot about students getting As and A*s these days and people lose sight of just how very difficult it is to get those grades. I would be very proud if my children got As but I would never tell them that I 'expect' it of them. What I do expect is that they plan ahead to work out what to revise and when (I help them with this if I can) and then I expect them to revise pretty solidly in the weeks leading up to exams. They may get As, they may get Cs but I know they won't look back and think they could have done more. There is so much pressure put on you today and it's wrong. My son has been feeling stressed because his college forced him to do 4 A levels and we have had a huge battle to have this reduced to 3. The subjects you are doing are not easy choices and you are bound to be finding this time stressful to some extent. If you get As and make yourself ill with stress in the process it will not be worth it. You will then be pressurised to apply for courses that require such high grades, that those courses will then continue to cause you stress. You just need to do what you are capable of with a reasonable amount of revision and then if you get perhaps Bs and Cs they are still excellent achievements and you should be proud of them. You need to take regular breaks to try and prevent yourself getting so stressed and it would definitely be a good idea to find somewhere different to revise - maybe in school, a friend's house or even perhaps a quieter neighbours house or a relative's house because a couple of hours in a quiet environment would be better than twice as much with your brothers and sisters around. If you can, could you talk to someone at college about how you are feeling? I expect you have a tutor or perhaps one of the subject teacher. You need to be really brave and admit to them that you are not coping. You may like you so rightly say, just feel better for telling someone.
I'm waffling on a bit now but please believe that people understand how you feel and are sympathetic. Try and get back on track with your revision tomorrow but don't set yourself unrealistic targets of what you van manage to fit in. You can only work at your own pace. If you did get very high grades it will just push you towards starting further study at such a high level that you will continue to be stressed. There are lots of good courses that require grades more in the B/C range where you hopefully get time to enjoy life as well. Despite what you might believe very few people get As and A*s - you will see lots of people on sites like this talking about high grades but the reality is that only a small proportion get those grades and getting 3 A levels at lower grades is still a fantastic achievement and someone needs to remind you of that. I hope you feel a bit stronger again very soon and able to cope. Just fit in what you can and that's all that can be expected of you. I wish you all the very best and one final hint - we find chocolate helps a lot in our house!!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry, too. Thank you so much for that! It really boosted my confidence, and helped me accept that I shouldn't stress over trying to get grades that will impress my parents.
I think I should talk to my college tutor - thank you so much!

[ConstantlyStressed]

(Original post by PoGo HoPz)
I could cheer you up, if you'd like?

That actually made me laugh(=

[ConstantlyStressed]

(Original post by Darian...)
I was a visitor until minutes ago, I read your post and I felt that I NEED to reply, so I registered
Now listen to what I say...(actually I'm typing not talking )
The first thing I noticed was your subjects, as it seems like a little odd to me the three are Maths,Psychology, English Literature. As u said u are in trouble with maths, I don't know how much true that is... but let me let u know although many people think that Maths is needed for everyone I think that any subject if it's not suitable for your personality then u must not bother learning it by force...anyone's mind is suitable for something, maybe maths, maybe literature, or maybe PE...I believe that if ANYONE chooses the subjects that he/she TRULY loves, then NOTHING can stop him/her.
Second, about the stress I'm sorry but I've never had that much stress for any examination (not even examinations in the life out of school) what u need to do is to think that what YOU expect from yourself is much more important than what others do, just relax nothing must be able to take your calmness from u, I'm not saying that just don't worry... that's wrong ... being too much stressed is WRONG also being too much carefree is WRONG as well, u need to worry but it must not affect the other things in your life in a negative way, too much of ANYTHING is wrong...
About the fact that you said you were crying...that's sometimes necessary for both men and women no difference, it's good if it lets u calm down a little bit.
I hope that the things I said have not been USELESS for u (cause I don't think they've been useful:-j) I appreciate that u thought that u needed to talk that's the best thing to do when u don't know what to do...

Yes! That was definitely useful. Thank you, so much!

[ConstantlyStressed]

(Original post by whatsername2009)
First of all, *hugs*.

It's perfectly normal to get stressed out when you have exams, especially when you have so much else to deal with. If you want to cry, go ahead and cry. It often helps to just let everything out. When I'm stressed I'll often get upset over small things, but it sounds like what happened to you was actually a pretty big deal - no one wants to see their hard work go to waste, after all, so you have every right to be angry.

I think you need to have a good long conversation with your parents. This may sound harsh, but I think they're at the root of your problems: they've put a lot of pressure on you to do well in your exams, but they're also failing to provide a home environment that's conducive to revision, and that's not a good combination. They're the only ones who can control your younger siblings, so it's their responsibility to ensure that they don't interfere with your revision. Perhaps they just don't realise that they're putting too much pressure on you, which is another reason why you have to talk to them.

Stay strong, and good luck with your revision. If there's some sort of quiet study area at college that you can use, it might be worth looking into.

You're right. I do need to talk it out with my parents. Thank you for helping me realize that.
*hugs back*.

[PoGo HoPz]

(Original post by ConstantlyStressed)
That actually made me laugh(=

Well the offer's there, if you want it... Hope you're feeling better now!

[ConstantlyStressed]

(Original post by PoGo HoPz)
Well the offer's there, if you want it... Hope you're feeling better now!

Hahaha=). I am feeling a lot better now. It was great to just..let it all out, you know?

[alicia1969]

So pleased you are seeming to be feeling a bit more in control now. Parents have a very important responsibility not to put their children under too much stress. Keep remembering to take some breaks in between revising and if you haven't yet talked to a tutor or teacher, try and do that. Hopefully you can change your user name from 'constantly stressed' to 'occasionally stressed' very soon! Best Wishes