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Is my vagina way too tight?

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Applying to Uni? Let Universities come to you. Click here to get your perfect place 20-10-2014
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    #1

    I’m 20 and a virgin. The few times I’ve stuck a finger up my vagina, including this morning, it’s always been rather discomforting. It doesn’t feel at all pleasurable - in fact, I get more pleasure from playing with my nipples than with my genitals. I’m worried because if this is what it feels like to have just one finger up there, then how on earth would it feel having a penis up there? This makes me worried about first time sex. Especially as I’ve started seeing a guy who is in his mid twenties, who doesn’t have lots of relationship experience but he has had sex before and is quite a few years older than me, so would it be very weird for him?

    Also I do use tampons occasionally and have done since I was 15, and they fit and work just fine when I use them with applicators, but I suppose that isn't quite the same as sticking something up there for the purpose of sexual arousal? Incidentally, trying to use non-applicator tampons is also very discomforting like my finger.

    Am I normal?
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    Well I'm not expert but have you tried rubbing it gently first and massaging your clit or something along those lines to get you a bit more turned on?


    I can't imagine just sticking a finger up there and leaving it is too pleasureable either...
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    Don't worry, I really doubt that he'll find it weird. It may hurt a bit at first, but you'll soon "open up" to him. Buy some lube if you're really worried, but I'm sure you don't need to be. Also, maybe ask him, or try and get him, to go down on you: that may naturally lubricate you and make you feel good at the same time. In any case, a tight vagina is a rare and highly valuable commodity!

    And maybe you could try pleasuring yourself for now by stroking your clit? Do you get any pleasurable feelings from that? The simple act of having an object inside you isn't necessarily what really turns you on, it's everything that surrounds that, like the caresses and kisses and the pshychological feelings of knowing you're doing something really intimate with someone who cares about you (hmm, I think I might have read that somewhere in a sex-ed booklet :ninja: ).
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Agenda Suicide)
    Well I'm not expert but have you tried rubbing it gently first and massaging your clit or something along those lines to get you a bit more turned on?


    I can't imagine just sticking a finger up there and leaving it is too pleasureable either...

    (Original post by jismith1989)
    Don't worry, I really doubt that he'll find it weird. It may hurt a bit at first, but you'll soon "open up" to him. Buy some lube if you're really worried, but I'm sure you don't need to be. In any case, a tight vagina is a rare and highly valuable commodity!

    And maybe you could try pleasuring yourself for now by stroking your clit? Do you get any pleasurable feelings from that?
    Rubbing my clit doesn't tend to arouse me very much. Maybe I am doing it wrong? I could try it again.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Rubbing my clit doesn't tend to arouse me very much. Maybe I am doing it wrong? I could try it again.
    Maybe you just need more practise or maybe different things just turn you on, there's nothing wrong with that. You have to remember that it'll be a different sensation when someone else is doing it to you though, both mentally and physically.

    Also, are you nervous about still being a virgin? You really shouldn't be, but sometimes nerves can make you tense or less aroused, so try to relax into it. Anyone who wants to have sex with you and with whom you want to have sex obviously has pretty strong feelings for you, so they're absolutely not going to be rating your "performance" or anything like that -- you're both there just to have a good time and to be intimate, so enjoy it!

    Maybe have a nice warm bubble bath to relax and try exploring yourself there.
    #2

    Buy a vibrator and watch porn. This worked for me.
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    If this isn't a troll, I've seen on embarrassing bodies that the GP gives the girl a cone shape thing I don't know the name. But there are different sizes from small to large and they suggest to try the small one then gradually try the bigger ones in time to get used to it.
    But the guy shouldn't think you are weird for being a virgin and if he does then there's something wrong with him not you.
    Just use lube or try using a toy, are you planning on telling the guy you are?
    I'm sure he would be gentle but your first time is likely to hurt anyway.
    #3

    i have a question do you shave when you have sex? majority? im asian, is there an asian preference thing as well?

    im not planning to have it yet, im only 16, but im just curious
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by jismith1989)
    Maybe you just need more practise or maybe different things just turn you on, there's nothing wrong with that. You have to remember that it'll be a different sensation when someone else is doing it to you though, both mentally and physically.

    Also, are you nervous about still being a virgin? You really shouldn't be, but sometimes nerves can make you tense or less aroused, so try to relax into it. Anyone who wants to have sex with you and with whom you want to have sex obviously has pretty strong feelings for you, so they're absolutely not going to be rating your "performance" or anything like that -- you're both there just to have a good time and to be intimate.

    Maybe have a nice warm bubble bath to relax and try exploring yourself there.
    Yes, being a late starter and virgin is awkward. I'm at that age where most people already have lots of experience, yet here I am hardly experienced anything. Due to lack of opportunities more than anything.

    Just to clarify, I've never been intimate with anyone, not even yet with this guy I'm seeing (it's still the early dating stages). It's just the experiences I've had so far with trying to masturbate which is making me worried about my body.

    Your comments have been very good and helpful so far, thank you
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Indieboohoo)
    If this isn't a troll, I've seen on embarrassing bodies that the GP gives the girl a flask shape tube thing I don't know the name. But there are different sizes from small to large and they suggest to try the small one then gradually try the bigger ones in time to get used to it.
    But the guy shouldn't think you are weird for being a virgin and if he does then there's something wrong with him not you.
    Just use lube or try using a toy, are you planning on telling the guy you are?
    I'm sure he would be gentle but your first time is likely to hurt anyway.
    What makes you think I am trolling? I don't think it looks that great to be a troll post.

    Are the things you're talking about dildos?

    I'm worried because would it be weird for a guy that age to have sex with a virgin?
    #4

    Are you actually aroused when you do this? Sticking a finger up there won't automatically feel good. Try reading erotic stories or watching porn. Or think of what you might like your boyfriend to do to you, you should get aroused and then be more receptive.

    The majority of women can't orgasm without the clitoris being stimulated, so work on that more than sticking your finger up your vagina, that's more secondary when it comes to masturbation. At least for me, also get a cheap bullet vibrator for £5 off a website, they're amazing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes, being a late starter and virgin is awkward.
    You know I've found a lot of people feel that way. My friend lied to me when we first met and said she'd had sex before when she hadn't, like it was something to be ashamed of or something. And my boyfriend did it too and once we had been together for a while and were heading in that direction, he admitted it. He said he only admitted it because if it had got to it he wouldn't have known what he was doing and that would have been embarrassing. xD

    He was 21 when this happened and I was 19. I however had a previous long term relationship that had involved sex and it didn't bother me in the slightest that he hadn't done it before so I don't imagine it would bother your man. I actually felt a bit naughty for corrupting the innocent.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes, being a late starter and virgin is awkward. I'm at that age where most people already have lots of experience, yet here I am hardly experienced anything. Due to lack of opportunities more than anything.

    Just to clarify, I've never been intimate with anyone, not even yet with this guy I'm seeing (it's still the early dating stages). It's just the experiences I've had so far with trying to masturbate which is making me worried about my body.

    Your comments have been very good and helpful so far, thank you
    I'm sure you've heard it before, but it's true, loads of people (more than would necessarily be prepared to admit) start late; it's nothing to be ashamed of or worried about. And you say that the guy you're seeing hasn't had lots of experience himself, so I'm sure he'll be understanding.

    Also, don't pressure yourself to feel like you should be enjoying every single moment or expect everything to feel amazing or go swimmingly first time: nothing is perfect everytime! You'll learn how to pleasure each other over time and become more confident, so don't over-analyse it and just let your inner animal take over!

    Do you kiss each other? Maybe you could start by slipping a hand down his pants when you're together kissing or press your body/boobs up close against him, stradling him, or something, just take it at your own pace. I still remember when my first girlfriend gave me a handjob, it was really fun and I was so horny because we'd been together for a while and this was the first time she'd ever touched me "intimately". Whatever you do, I bet he'll be just as excited.

    G'luck anyway. Just let yourself relax and have some fun, that's what it's all about!

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm worried because would it be weird for a guy that age to have sex with a virgin?
    You don't know guys very well, do you? :p: That's fantasy material, definitely not weird!
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    Sounds like you've got vaginismus. Go to the doctor, it's easily sorted, but you need to get it sorted.
    #5

    Just don't worry. That's the best advice anyone can give you.

    It's fine that you're a virgin, and at your age it's not that unusual.

    He will/should understand that as you're a virgin you're going to be a little nervous at first.

    Lots of people don't have any success just sticking fingers up themselves, or touching their clit with fingers. I didn't at least. Try rubbing with your whole body, against a pillow or something. And fantasise. If you get anything out of this, you can try touching/exploring yourself at the same time, and I think that might work better for you.

    Seeing as you have not yet done anything intimate with your fella, it's probably a bit early to be worrying about sex. (Imo) first you need to become comfortable with nakedness and mutual touching, until that is so familiar that sex is only a tiny extra hurdle. Let him touch you and insert some fingers (when you are aroused by him) before you have sex, and I think you'll find it easier (and not necessarily painful at all) when you do have sex for the first time.

    Just because you cannot insert a tampon doesn't mean you won't be able to have sex. There is a reason why applicator tampons exist, and that is because many normal, healthy women struggle with non-applicator tampons. Inserting a tampon is hardly arousing!

    Even though it may not feel like it now, once you are aroused and ready, there is plenty of space in your vagina for a penis! It is effectively a muscular tube, and just needs to be relaxed by arousal. The idea that some are loose and some are tight is a bit of a myth, as all vaginas have the capacity to be either/or, depending on their state of relaxation.

    In summary: just take it easy, take your time, do what you enjoy, enjoy what you do, and don't worry.
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    Still better than a sleeve of wizard.
    #5

    (Original post by tsveta)
    Sounds like you've got vaginismus. Go to the doctor, it's easily sorted, but you need to get it sorted.
    I don't think it is at all helpful to mention this condition as you are just going to worry the OP when in all likelihood she is perfectly normal and what she describes doesn't "sound like" anything.

    Plenty of women struggle with non-applicator tampons, and plenty of virgins are also inexperienced in masturbation and worried about their first time.

    OP - please do not worry about this condition, it is something to think about if you are still struggling much farther down the line, but at the moment it sounds as though you are perfectly normal and healthy, if only a little nervous.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't think it is at all helpful to mention this condition as you are just going to worry the OP when in all likelihood she is perfectly normal and what she describes doesn't "sound like" anything.

    Plenty of women struggle with non-applicator tampons, and plenty of virgins are also inexperienced in masturbation and worried about their first time.

    OP - please do not worry about this condition, it is something to think about if you are still struggling much farther down the line, but at the moment it sounds as though you are perfectly normal and healthy, if only a little nervous.
    I'm not "worrying" the OP, I'm just stating a fact. It does sound like vaginismus, and vaginismus can come in many different forms from extremely mild to extremely aggressive. I, personally, think she has a mild form of it, and going to the doctor when you're worried about something is perfectly normal, acceptable advice.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by jismith1989)
    I'm sure you've heard it before, but it's true, loads of people (more than would necessarily be prepared to admit) start late; it's nothing to be ashamed of or worried about. And you say that the guy you're seeing hasn't had lots of experience himself, so I'm sure he'll be understanding.

    Also, don't pressure yourself to feel like you should be enjoying every single moment or expect everything to feel amazing or go swimmingly first time: nothing is perfect everytime! You'll learn how to pleasure each other over time and become more confident, so don't over-analyse it and just let your inner animal take over!

    Do you kiss each other? Maybe you could start by slipping a hand down his pants when you're together kissing or press your body/boobs up close against him, stradling him, or something, just take it at your own pace. I still remember when my first girlfriend gave me a handjob, it was really fun and I was so horny because we'd been together for a while and this was the first time she'd ever touched me "intimately". Whatever you do, I bet he'll be just as excited.

    G'luck anyway. Just let yourself relax and have some fun, that's what it's all about!

    You don't know guys very well, do you? :p: That's fantasy material, definitely not weird!
    OK. No we haven't started kissing yet, as we've literally only just starting seeing each other. Hopefully it will lead that way soon though. Good to know that he may like me being a virgin then

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    OP, can i ask if youre at university, and if so what are you studying?
    No, I work a job. Why is this relevant?
    #6

    OP, the clit is where you should be focussing first of all. If it doesn't feel good then its likely you're not doing it right. If you're not aroused enough you might find 'rubbing' is actually counterproductive and too friction-y. You can use saliva or an artificial lubricant and I'm pretty sure it'll start to feel good. I'd be highly surprised if you have indeed found your clit but it does nothing for you even after trying lubrication etc. Even if you just find it sensitive it's a start!

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