[Anonymous]

Hey
When I joined uni in september, I was so eager to please everyone (and thus make friends) that I think, looking back, I may have played the clown a bit. I was happy to laugh at myself and be laughed at. I don't know--when I feel awkward I go a bit manic, it covers up the quiet you know? Anyway, we all got on.
Roll on some months. The flat is quite hierarchical. It's like a dictatorship but one whose subjects are sort of half blind to it. Maybe they don't want to admit it. This one girl, H, has risen to the top with her loud voice, her opinions but ultimately I feel, her ability to put everyone in their place. She has picked and chosen people she doesn't like--our friends--and everyone guffaws in agreement. I just hate this, I feel like I've been rebelling. Cheesy metaphor, I'm a kind of resistance group to her dictatorship (ha! I know right ). We've fallen out and we just don't click.
Anyway, I can cope with this. I deal very well in straight talking. But she has a thing about making me look stupid. Sometimes I am a bit ditzy and lacking in common sense but she makes out I'm genuinely stupid. And the worst thing is, she does it with a smile: it's all banter to her. And when I get pissed off, I just don't get the banter.
So I'm stupid and I have to smile and make some kind of joking retort, and meanwhile concede to her, or else I look 'boring'. It's just so tedious, all of it. it's so much harder because she has everyone else. we all get on but I feel like everyone still expects me to be playing the court jester role, a hangover effect from freshers. And when she repeats what I say in a silly voice, accentuating my 'posh' accent, or makes some really unfunny, predictable quip, everyone sniggers and I just feel LIKE A FOOL. There's laughing at yourself but then there's having to do it all the time. And if you give her a taste of her own medicine, she cannot take it, and everyone's so busy tip-toeing around her...

It's just good to get this out there. It's got to the point where I can't be arsed socialising with my flat. But any advice? xx

[Cake Faced Kid.]

Punch her in the face and use the subsequent fear to become ruler of the flat.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Cake Faced Kid.)
Punch her in the face and use the subsequent fear to become ruler of the flat.

Hmm, tempting.

Any advice people? Have you been in this situation before?

[SillyMilly]

Ive had girls belittle me when i was at school, the best policy is to just do a giant cheesy smile every single time you see her be nice overly nice the whole 'hey how are you!' that will wind her up the wall dont let her see it bothers you

[Anonymous]

(Original post by SillyMilly)
Ive had girls belittle me when i was at school, the best policy is to just do a giant cheesy smile every single time you see her be nice overly nice the whole 'hey how are you!' that will wind her up the wall dont let her see it bothers you

Thank you. I've tried that but I don't know, I think it just shows. So hard to put on an act! She's not a nasty person, she's just insecure I think? And partly I think this is my fault. Would discussing it when it's just her and me work? that's kind of the opposite of what you're advising... But eurgh, why can't we just be adult about this?