i find abuse/being helpless the ONLY turn on :s
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- Anonymous poster #1
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i find abuse/being helpless the ONLY turn on :sOk, keep anon or delete as this is hugely embarrassing. This is NOT a troll, thats why its anonymous, because i know my thoughts arent 'right' and i dont know why i think like this.
im a girl.
I find it really hard to get turned on. If i watch porn or whatever it doesnt do anything for me. However, if i watch abusive secnarios- rape, or violence, or where the man is very dominant, it really turns me on.
I also find it attractive if a guy is abusive, controlling, possessive and jealous (outside the bedroom). If i was told what i can and cant do.
I like a guy that is violent and a bit of a bad boy. If he was protective of me but also abusive towards me.
Ive thought like this for a long while, and its getting really bad now as im rejecting guys for just being normal.
I suppose you could say i like the chavvy/gangster types. Except i rarely meet them as being at Uni there isnt anyone like that.
How do i stop this really disturbing line of thought? -
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Re: i find abuse/being helpless the ONLY turn on :sThat's their job though, it's like being embarrassed to go to the doctors, they'll have heard/seen/studied all this before. They're there to help. I know it takes courage to go but we can't help you here.(Original post by Anonymous)
i dont really want to in case they think im weird :s -
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Re: i find abuse/being helpless the ONLY turn on :shave you heard of bdsm?(Original post by Priceliss)
Really hun seek a psychologist it isnt healthy at all and actually quite dangerous. I'm presuming you were abused as a child... -
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Re: i find abuse/being helpless the ONLY turn on :si would recommend councilling if its an extreme. be very careful. you may seem to be a masochist, or you want a man to domininate you. for both men and women, the dominant partner can sometimes be a fetish. this may be normal - I mean, there are a range of fetishes people can have- but sado-masochism can be dangerous. It may never disapear completely. I'd recommend finding a normal guy, and in time, when you trust eachother COMPLETELY, maybe you can play out the fetishes. but be very careful - if you don't know eachother well, or he can take things too far, it may become more sinister and dangerous.
If you have it to a serious extreme, seek councilling. there may be underlying problems or reasons.when did this start? -
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Re: i find abuse/being helpless the ONLY turn on :sNow I'm curious. You do realize that most such men would be unfaithful, right? I mean, those sorts of things even outside the bedroom... From your post I take it that you've never had that, but have you had the (what you called) "normal" type? You know picturing something in your mind and actually experiencing it are two different things... (Of course, I'm not saying you should go to bed with the next available "nice guy", but why not give him a chance to change your mind?) Still, as has been said, if you are convinced this inclination of yours is unhealthy in any way, you really should consult a specialist...
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Re: i find abuse/being helpless the ONLY turn on :sWhat the OP describes isn't BDSM. She seems to be after genuine abuse, which is not healthy at all, and could endanger her. I'd recommend psychiatric help; I highly doubt anybody on this website is going to be able to help her.(Original post by almosttrue)
have you heard of bdsm? -
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Re: i find abuse/being helpless the ONLY turn on :sId say it could be, op is talking about getting turned on/sex drive and might be getting this confused with real life relationships. If she is only young too it could explain it when feelings are all over the place plenty girls want the 'bad boy' and find the nice guy boring. She should talk to someone if its affecting her though.(Original post by Adam C)
What the OP describes isn't BDSM. She seems to be after genuine abuse, which is not healthy at all, and could endanger her. I'd recommend psychiatric help; I highly doubt anybody on this website is going to be able to help her. -
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Re: i find abuse/being helpless the ONLY turn on :sYou sound like alot of girls that go for the bad egg's, only your honest enough to admit you do.
It is a very extreme view though, to actively want to be dominated. To want to be a slave.
I suggest religion. A theistic one if possible.
That was a joke, you need help. I don't get why people are negging posters telling you to see a psychiatrist. You sound like you need one. -
- Anonymous poster #1
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Re: i find abuse/being helpless the ONLY turn on :sI have never been abused so i dont know where these thoughts root from.(Original post by Priceliss)
Really hun seek a psychologist it isnt healthy at all and actually quite dangerous. I'm presuming you were abused as a child...
I have had the thought since a very very young age- like 7 or something, when i used to dream of being men's slave (before i knew about sex) -
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Did you grow up witnessing women in your family being treated in a subserviant manner?(Original post by Anonymous)
I have never been abused so i dont know where these thoughts root from.
I have had the thought since a very very young age- like 7 or something, when i used to dream of being men's slave (before i knew about sex)
This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830 -
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Re: i find abuse/being helpless the ONLY turn on :sDon't be afraid of yourself for having these thoughts, but if you do wish to go to a counsellor etc, then it's your choice, but let me say this:
As long as you understand that the more extreme thoughts aren't usually fully realisable and don't go out actively seeking to fulfil these fantasies then it shouldn't be too bad.
I think along the same lines as you, and it's all well and good, but don't let your desire get in the way of your own safety.
Finding a partner who respects you as well as dominates you how you wish isn't totally impossible, it's just about avoiding the people who believe that having a sexually submissive personality makes you open to exploitation and abuse. Don't let people take advantage of you, and don't believe that feeling this way makes you weak. Just be careful.
I made mistakes in pursuing these fantasies and I learned my lesson, but one day, you may find someone who enjoys fulfilling your fantasies but still sees you as an equal human being.
You said you enjoy bad boys and the suchlike, but if you're looking for a healthy relationship with someone who enjoys dominating you, this isn't where to look. There are most likely guys at uni who enjoy the things you want them to, but you may be blinded by your belief that only bad boys will fulfil your desires.Last edited by DignifiedChaos; 19-05-2012 at 17:06. -
- Anonymous poster #1
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Re: i find abuse/being helpless the ONLY turn on :snope. my parents very equal(Original post by Dee Leigh)
Did you grow up witnessing women in your family being treated in a subserviant manner?
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Re: i find abuse/being helpless the ONLY turn on :sIn the first place, I would reccommend speaking to a counselor about this. It is one thing to explore this sort of thing as a sexual fantasy, hopefully with someone you trust, but another for it to be the basis of your whole relationship. That can really get you in bad situations.(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok, keep anon or delete as this is hugely embarrassing. This is NOT a troll, thats why its anonymous, because i know my thoughts arent 'right' and i dont know why i think like this.
im a girl.
I find it really hard to get turned on. If i watch porn or whatever it doesnt do anything for me. However, if i watch abusive secnarios- rape, or violence, or where the man is very dominant, it really turns me on.
I also find it attractive if a guy is abusive, controlling, possessive and jealous (outside the bedroom). If i was told what i can and cant do.
I like a guy that is violent and a bit of a bad boy. If he was protective of me but also abusive towards me.
Ive thought like this for a long while, and its getting really bad now as im rejecting guys for just being normal.
I suppose you could say i like the chavvy/gangster types. Except i rarely meet them as being at Uni there isnt anyone like that.
How do i stop this really disturbing line of thought?
What's interesting about this from an academic perspective though is that this is an attitude which would have been considered the foundation of quite a normal and quite frequently, healthy, relationship for much of human history, yet is now, quite rightly to my mind, cause for concern. -
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Re: i find abuse/being helpless the ONLY turn on :sI can tell from your post that you've never actually been in an abusive relationship or seen what abuse can do to people first hand. Seek help. No one here can help you. Well, I could give you my ex boyfriend's number but that wouldn't exactly help you.
