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Envy feelings - spoilt rich kids

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Envy is good - without envy the human race would never have gotten this far from the cro-magnon times. However, you must make sure that jealousy is not the main driving force behind everything you do.

Anyway, I was in the exact same situation as you back at school and I felt the same. The good news is that you will hopefully grow out of these thoughts. It was only when I left school that I realised that I shouldn't give a rat's hairy arse about how well off my peers are. Life really does have too much to offer for you to waste time on petty things like that. Understand that you are still at school and that your life is in a bubble where 95% of the people you see everyday are in their own little pampered materialistic bubbles.

It is until you leave school that the proverbial bubble bursts and you realise that, although some people still have their parents for some financial support, everybody's pretty much on the same footing. You leave with pretty much the same qualifications; no one really has a career; a proper job; or a nice house to pay the mortgage on.

You've got to stop looking up to others and instead look towards yourself. Yes, you may be at a (somewhat superficial) disadvantage right now, but if you can convince yourself you have the drive, the confidence, and the integrity of character needed to achieve your dreams then there's no doubt you can at least lean back and be content with the last 70 or so years of your life.



Yes, I have a lot of time on my hands and I certainly am in a contemplative mood. :holmes:
Reply 21
Original post by K the Failure
Envy is good - without envy the human race would never have gotten this far from the cro-magnon times. However, you must make sure that jealousy is not the main driving force behind everything you do.

Anyway, I was in the exact same situation as you back at school and I felt the same. The good news is that you will hopefully grow out of these thoughts. It was only when I left school that I realised that I shouldn't give a rat's hairy arse about how well off my peers are. Life really does have too much to offer for you to waste time on petty things like that. Understand that you are still at school and that your life is in a bubble where 95% of the people you see everyday are in their own little pampered materialistic bubbles.

It is until you leave school that the proverbial bubble bursts and you realise that, although some people still have their parents for some financial support, everybody's pretty much on the same footing. You leave with pretty much the same qualifications; no one really has a career; a proper job; or a nice house to pay the mortgage on.

You've got to stop looking up to others and instead look towards yourself. Yes, you may be at a (somewhat superficial) disadvantage right now, but if you can convince yourself you have the drive, the confidence, and the integrity of character needed to achieve your dreams then there's no doubt you can at least lean back and be content with the last 70 or so years of your life.



Yes, I have a lot of time on my hands and I certainly am in a contemplative mood. :holmes:


+ repped for truth :cool:
Original post by Ezekiella
+ repped for truth :cool:


Very flattered, thanks. :smile:
Reply 23
'If you have food in your fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of the world.

If you have money in the bank, your wallet, and some spare change you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the agony of imprisonment or torture, or the horrible pangs of starvation vou are luckier than 500 million people alive and suffering.

If you can read this message you are more fortunate than 3 billion people in the world who cannot read it at all.'

This quote is not my own btw. You are far luckier than you appreciate, be grateful for what you have and realise just how many people would do anything to be in the position you are. I didnt post this to make you feel bad, just to help you put the envy into context and help you deal with it :smile:
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 24
Original post by Gjaykay
Yeah that just means though that someone further back in their family worked hard, except lottery winners and the like, obviously.


Yeah, further back. That's not the people with the money today. I'm bitter, because I've just found out my friend's got an 18,000 pound a year scholarship when he can afford that anyway, and it's just like if I think HE'S rich, the people giving the scholarship must be unbelievable thinking he's poor and can't afford that.

People say get out and change your future and while it's true many do change their lives, it really depends on your situation. Some people are so poor they go to a bad school, they get bad grades because they don't know any better and they're stuck in their cycle of deprivation.
Reply 25
Original post by MaxiFreca
Gahhh I get exactly the same thing. There's a private girls school near where I live and we sometimes go and stare at them to try and psike them out. At leaving time it's one long line of white range rovers and girls with totally straight blonde hair or perfect ponytail blonde hair. They really annoy me but I am also like completely made of jealous. I like the way they act though, sort of confident and smug, some of my friends hate it but I think secretly want to be them.


I'm like that i don't really hate them just feel sort of pathetically poor and like my life is crap compared to them which is maybe true a little. Those sort of girls also look like they completely love themselves and their life which is not surprising. I doubt we will all be the same at college! They will have more of everything. God it just seems unfair but I take people's point about working hard and looking at what you have. I am not much jealous of particular things they might have its more of a general thing although i do get jealous of how comfortable everything is for them and how good those private school girls look.
Reply 26
Original post by UsualStudent
I'm like that i don't really hate them just feel sort of pathetically poor and like my life is crap compared to them which is maybe true a little. Those sort of girls also look like they completely love themselves and their life which is not surprising. I doubt we will all be the same at college! They will have more of everything. God it just seems unfair but I take people's point about working hard and looking at what you have. I am not much jealous of particular things they might have its more of a general thing although i do get jealous of how comfortable everything is for them and how good those private school girls look.


The girls you are talking about may look glossy and self-confident, but trust me, they don't all have it quite as easy or as relaxed as you think. Part of the private-school thing is to get good at looking right and giving off the right vibe.
Reply 27
Original post by eelnais


People say get out and change your future and while it's true many do change their lives, it really depends on your situation. Some people are so poor they go to a bad school, they get bad grades because they don't know any better and they're stuck in their cycle of deprivation.


There's loads of kids like that in the schools where i live. A lot of them wouldn't even know there is better.
Reply 28
Don't hate, get money.

Anyway in this country it's a myth that you need loads of cash to have all the latest stuff. Look at me for example, blackberry £120 paid out of my student loan - does everything any other smartphone does (albeit slower), 32 inch hd tv £300 - mum got that for me for free off a phone contract she was on, xbox £80 second hand - plays the same games as a brand new £170 one, Designer clothes 3 shirts @ £75, 2 trousers @ £75, 3 jumpers @ £80 , anyone can afford all that over the course of a year or so - trick is to a) buy less (i chose to live on 3 shirts a week via twice weekly washes rather than 5 shirts) b) any clothes over £100 is just being flashy tbh as you can get great quality for under that c) know what to buy designer i.e forget about designer shoes or coats or bags as they are £200 minimum and you only really get marked quality difference between designer and high street shirts/ jumpers/trousers d) SALES!! e) seeing as you shelled out on good quality clothes there is no need to buy new ones every season, my £750 gaming pc - mum spent ages saving up for that for my birthday, who needs sky? get freeview, get friendly with your neighbour and use their wireless for free, tesco mobile (i do not understand why anyone on this planet goes on contract. top up £20 that gets tripled to £60, £5 on blackberry internet services with 1gb internet, £5 on 5000 free texts, end result £10 credit with £40 free credit, 5000 texts and 1gb internet) you may say some contracts are cheaper than that but with this you can tailor it to however much money you have each month and you don't have to pay regularly. plus if you use it all up you dont get blasted with charges.

So yeah with a bit of saving, buying a few high quality things here, a few low quality things there you can have everything you want. The only thing I truly cannot afford at all is a car (not just the car but the lessons, the insurance, the mot, the tax and all that bull****)

For the clothes, its probably going to be a lot different for girls however while I will look like a massive hypocrite for saying this, designer gear is utterly pointless on most occasions. you can look perfectly fine in cheap clothes. For casual clothing it's generally just to look flashy (hence why it looks the same as high street gear just with a logo on it) I bought designer gear because having asperger syndrome means I totally dont understand fashion at all (how on earth do u know what will suit you??) so after years of looking like a complete weirdo I thought "**** it if I buy a couple nice shirts and trousers and jumpers noone can say I look weird" and it worked lol, people always say i look nice

Sorry about the essay but my point is if youre annoyed at not having the same equipment as your richer peers (i.e a decent smartphone, a games console, a decent selection of tv programmes, decent quality clothes) then you can by doing the above. If youre annoyed at not looking as flashy as your richer peers (no flash car, not tons of random super expensive designer gear) then forget about trying to achieve that untill you get some qualifications and a good job. By then your years of being poor will cause you to look back on that time and think "what a ridiculous waste of money, you gotta be crazy if you think im doing that with my hard earned money"
Reply 29
I don't know what is with this myth that people that go to private school are rich?!my brother did and my family aren't rich
maybe get a job and buy yourself stuff?Your family might have no money but it doesn't mean you have to be skint too
Your admitting these feelings and posting this thread puts you a cut above most.

Turn your feelings into motivation. If you do you'll be a better person than the people you envy and may find in the not too distant future the roles have reversed and you'll see what im talking about when you compare their dealing with those feelings to the way you did.

:smile:
Reply 31
Original post by hanaxo
I don't know what is with this myth that people that go to private school are rich?!my brother did and my family aren't rich
maybe get a job and buy yourself stuff?Your family might have no money but it doesn't mean you have to be skint too


Maybe you aren't but at the school i'm thinking of a lot look rich to us, their mums have incredible cars and some of the girls have mega expensive watches and stuff. Maybe they aren't all like that.

I do try to get jobs but that's harder in the area i live in than people think also public transport is dead expensive to work further away but i do try.
Reply 32
Original post by UCLEmily
It isn't all that unusual to be envious. It's just unusual to admit it. I might be one of the people you would envy but that would be a bit hard to feel for me, so maybe some of the people who you think are turning their noses up are actually worried about how you will feel about them? I get very jealous about people I know at college who are absurdly rich, but then I just take a deep breath and try to remember all the good things I have and focus on those.


I read some things you posted and you sound really rich and incredibly spoilt so i can't imagine you being jealous.
In my experience when people of status encounter someone of lesser status who is their better in every meaningful way their jealousy is more intense than anything a person could admit to. Theres been times when ive been in circles of mixed backgrounds and its got to the point where i can predict who will dislike me. Higher class without looks or noteworthy intelligence every time. Higher class who equal me are fine.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 34
Original post by UsualStudent
I read some things you posted and you sound really rich and incredibly spoilt so i can't imagine you being jealous.


Oh, well, I think I'm privileged and I know I'm v. lucky. Spoilt is a funny word, I think sometimes it's a bit too easy to assume people with more than yourself are spoilt by it. I'm sorry if things look hard for you at the moment though and I hope they improve when you go to college and start to figure out ways forward for yourself. :smile:
Reply 35
Original post by UsualStudent
What's the best cure for having bad envy feelings?


Just be happy with what you have. :smile:

Designer wear doesn't mean they are any better than you. It's about whats inside that counts. :smile:
Reply 36
Original post by UsualStudent
What's the cure?


In the future, you should get a feeling of satisfaction knowing that you earned everything you achieved. That's what drives me anyway
Reply 37
Original post by JCC-MGS
Turn it into angry class warrior angst, put an anarchist flag on your profile, come on TSR and exaggerate your Dickensian lifestyle by talking like 'bun dat' 'llow it' 'fassy' 'neek' etc when really you know it's fruitless cause only like 3% of people on here know what it means anyway. Works for me


Can't you channel your rage into something productive? You need to relax and stop believing the world owes you a living.
Reply 38
Original post by UsualStudent
Maybe you aren't but at the school i'm thinking of a lot look rich to us, their mums have incredible cars and some of the girls have mega expensive watches and stuff. Maybe they aren't all like that.

I do try to get jobs but that's harder in the area i live in than people think also public transport is dead expensive to work further away but i do try.


there's always going to be someone with nicer stuff than you.youll just have to get over it
Reply 39
This is another one of those threads on TSR that are based on the huge mutual lack of understanding and comprehension between the classes.

Particularly in London, which is deeply class-divided, the situation in poor neighbourhoods can be dire. They see what they think of as rich people leading lives of opulence and it makes them angry and envious.

To the sort of upper-middle class kids whom OP is envying, their lifestyles appear normal, unpretentious and routine. The girls at the school she mentions have no comprehension that their Range Rover-ferried, designer lifestyles might be the cause of deep envy.

Telling OP not to be resentful or "to get on her bike" (paraphrasing some of the comments) is frankly insulting.

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