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Envy feelings - spoilt rich kids

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    (Original post by UsualStudent)
    I didnt want to bitch about it or be sad i was really just saying how it feels. I mean i'm 16 and my family have nothing really which isn't my fault although i will try and change it. Then i see these girls my age who have about a million times what we do and yes they are really spoilt so its hard not to be jealous they have such a lot more and so many advantages over me. I dont hate them and i suppose its really great and lovely for some of people are really spoilt but it bugs me is all the unfairness of it, but i s'pose there's nothing i can do about it other than work work.
    I understand completely, you don't need to explain yourself to me I had nothing when I was growing up. Like, literally, nothing. We had no home, barely any food, and used to get our Christmas presents donated to us by charities It is totally unfair, but you just have to deal with it and let it make you a stronger person. My childhood has definitely motivated me to make sure I marry a good man and to work hard to look after my future kids. Just try to learn lessons from the **** parts of life rather than let them make you miserable.
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    (Original post by SleepySheep)
    I understand completely, you don't need to explain yourself to me I had nothing when I was growing up. Like, literally, nothing. We had no home, barely any food, and used to get our Christmas presents donated to us by charities It is totally unfair, but you just have to deal with it and let it make you a stronger person. My childhood has definitely motivated me to make sure I marry a good man and to work hard to look after my future kids. Just try to learn lessons from the **** parts of life rather than let them make you miserable.
    :cool:
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    Its not their fault you don't get everything you want so you shouldnt be angry at them for it. Its just the life you were born into. I sometimes wish humans lived for 200 years so I could have longer on the earth but there is no point getting to angry about it, I'm delighted I was born at all and cant expect eveything to be perfect. Its worse as well because whatever I do I will never be able to change that but you can get richer if you want.
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    I know what you mean, as everybody is capable of jealousy no matter where they're from - jealous of education, looks, money, social status, social skills, whatever.. However the kind of jealousy you experience feels extra bitter because they have (probably) done nothing to achieve these things, it's their parents hard work.

    I am from a wealthy background and went to school with rich children basically all the way. Only difference is, I felt a bit the way you did. My parents are both well off but their wealth is mostly bound in properties, they have above average salaries but for many reasons they never had a high consumption (saving and investing well was how they got wealthy anyway). They are completely anti designer items and were quite strict with us growing up. We got quite a good allowance, but had to do a lot of work around the house for it. I agree with their attitudes a lot, although I think it was a bit extreme. I had 2 pairs of very cheap tights I wore everyday and some awful jumpers. I remember one morning I cried because I didn't want to go to school in the clothes I had - my tights literarly had holes on the inside on my thighs and my jumper was too small. Even now when I look back, I think it was ridiculous - we had 3 holiday resorts and I went to school like a homeless person.
    I know they tried to give me a healthy attitude, but it didn't work out that way. Now that I'm older I've received a bit of inheritance and have had more to spend. I've kind of 'made up for' all those years, and splurged on designer clothes. If someone with less money sees me with a Chanel bag, they probably all think "spoilt bitch", there is no avoiding that.

    OP, everyone feels jealousy sometimes. I can feel envy towards girls who look great, even though they don't have the most expensive clothes. They're just great at finding great outfits to compliment their figures.
    If anything, try to direct your anger towards working. I don't mean to sound harsh, but sitting and moping won't change anything. It'll also make you a bitter person who's not pleasant to be around. I have plenty of friends who have money and are very nice (I'm a slightly introverted person, so my friends are all friendly - I'm not good at taking the first step to get to know people so they have always been the ones to contact me ). Yes I know some spoilt girls whom are absolutely awful, but seriously no more than girls of 'lower' classes can be awful.
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    (Original post by Aconcernedparent)
    I've kind of 'made up for' all those years, and splurged on designer clothes. If someone with less money sees me with a Chanel bag, they probably all think "spoilt bitch", there is no avoiding that.
    http://www.matchesfashion.com/produc...FY8PfAodUEIRrA

    :confused:

    If i saw you with one of those i wouldn't think "spoilt bitch"
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    (Original post by MaxiFreca)
    Gahhh I get exactly the same thing. There's a private girls school near where I live and we sometimes go and stare at them to try and psike them out. At leaving time it's one long line of white range rovers and girls with totally straight blonde hair or perfect ponytail blonde hair. They really annoy me but I am also like completely made of jealous. I like the way they act though, sort of confident and smug, some of my friends hate it but I think secretly want to be them.
    not stalkerish at all...
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    (Original post by JCC-MGS)
    Turn it into angry class warrior angst, put an anarchist flag on your profile, come on TSR and exaggerate your Dickensian lifestyle by talking like 'bun dat' 'llow it' 'fassy' 'neek' etc when really you know it's fruitless cause only like 3% of people on here know what it means anyway. Works for me
    dunkno
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    You guys live a much better life than kids in China.
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    (Original post by KIKING)
    You guys live a much better life than kids in China.
    My idea for sorting africa (previous page) would mean more rhino horn for kids in china.
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    Before you try and cure it, you should try and recognise why you are feeling such a way. As for people saying "get richer"that will never work because even if you did you would still compare yourself to other people and feel jealous; you'd just be jealous over different things.

    Firstly, stop comparing yourself to others and trying to stack yourself up against them according to possessions, talent, level of comfort. Those things don't define you; external things never do. It is just your ego talking. When you recognise that you will stop feeling envy.
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    (Original post by g_star_raw_1989)
    Before you try and cure it, you should try and recognise why you are feeling such a way. As for people saying "get richer"that will never work because even if you did you would still compare yourself to other people and feel jealous; you'd just be jealous over different things.

    Firstly, stop comparing yourself to others and trying to stack yourself up against them according to possessions, talent, level of comfort. Those things don't define you; external things never do. It is just your ego talking. When you recognise that you will stop feeling envy.
    Communism is a good example of a society where people aren't motivated in this way. With futile envy such as wanting to be taller i might agree but here the op can turn this into motivation and be better as a result.
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    (Original post by green.tea)
    Communism is a good example of a society where people aren't motivated in this way. With futile envy such as wanting to be taller i might agree but here the op can turn this into motivation and be better as a result.
    Oh I don't doubt that envy can be used to motivate; in can be a great motivator. However, motivation is not dependent on envy.

    In this case, envy is making the OP miserable. Envy is only useful when you can take practical action for it to motivate you and for the OP this is not an option at the moment because he/she is at school and the things the OP is envious of are things they've not earned but things they've been given or enjoy (eg being driven in posh cars).

    Also, envy is an extrinsic motivator, it is reliant upon factors outside of you, in this case of what other people have and you want it but such factors are fleeting, once the outside motivating factors are removed or become weaker then so does your motivation. Intrinsic motivation is much more consistent and long lasting because your motivation is dependent on your own desire to better yourself and achieve something and not linked to how you're perceived by others. A mix of both is can work though.
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    (Original post by Aconcernedparent)
    I know what you mean, as everybody is capable of jealousy no matter where they're from - jealous of education, looks, money, social status, social skills, whatever.. However the kind of jealousy you experience feels extra bitter because they have (probably) done nothing to achieve these things, it's their parents hard work.

    I am from a wealthy background and went to school with rich children basically all the way. Only difference is, I felt a bit the way you did. My parents are both well off but their wealth is mostly bound in properties, they have above average salaries but for many reasons they never had a high consumption (saving and investing well was how they got wealthy anyway). They are completely anti designer items and were quite strict with us growing up. We got quite a good allowance, but had to do a lot of work around the house for it. I agree with their attitudes a lot, although I think it was a bit extreme. I had 2 pairs of very cheap tights I wore everyday and some awful jumpers. I remember one morning I cried because I didn't want to go to school in the clothes I had - my tights literarly had holes on the inside on my thighs and my jumper was too small. Even now when I look back, I think it was ridiculous - we had 3 holiday resorts and I went to school like a homeless person.
    I know they tried to give me a healthy attitude, but it didn't work out that way. Now that I'm older I've received a bit of inheritance and have had more to spend. I've kind of 'made up for' all those years, and splurged on designer clothes. If someone with less money sees me with a Chanel bag, they probably all think "spoilt bitch", there is no avoiding that.

    OP, everyone feels jealousy sometimes. I can feel envy towards girls who look great, even though they don't have the most expensive clothes. They're just great at finding great outfits to compliment their figures.
    If anything, try to direct your anger towards working. I don't mean to sound harsh, but sitting and moping won't change anything. It'll also make you a bitter person who's not pleasant to be around. I have plenty of friends who have money and are very nice (I'm a slightly introverted person, so my friends are all friendly - I'm not good at taking the first step to get to know people so they have always been the ones to contact me ). Yes I know some spoilt girls whom are absolutely awful, but seriously no more than girls of 'lower' classes can be awful.
    It sounds from your username as though you are a parent now. If you have a good lifestyle as they grow up, do you think you will "spoil" them more than you were, eg, give in to their wants for fashions, etc, more?
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    (Original post by Aconcernedparent)


    I know they tried to give me a healthy attitude, but it didn't work out that way. Now that I'm older I've received a bit of inheritance and have had more to spend. I've kind of 'made up for' all those years, and splurged on designer clothes. If someone with less money sees me with a Chanel bag, they probably all think "spoilt bitch", there is no avoiding that.

    OP, everyone feels jealousy sometimes. I can feel envy towards girls who look great, even though they don't have the most expensive clothes. They're just great at finding great outfits to compliment their figures.
    If anything, try to direct your anger towards working. I don't mean to sound harsh, but sitting and moping won't change anything. It'll also make you a bitter person who's not pleasant to be around. I have plenty of friends who have money and are very nice (I'm a slightly introverted person, so my friends are all friendly - I'm not good at taking the first step to get to know people so they have always been the ones to contact me ). Yes I know some spoilt girls whom are absolutely awful, but seriously no more than girls of 'lower' classes can be awful.
    You still sound dead lucky and rich even if you had hard times at school sometimes. But i won't keep moping i was just expressing a feeling really i am not so much angry although some of mates are but more just frustrated as i would like to be like you. I will say that some of the rich kids on TSR sound pretty nice to talk to at least which is maybe as we're not face to face so its easier to chat. I feel like where i live there is no talk between the classes you never meet and their parents wouldnt want people like me to be seen with their kids.
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    (Original post by Gjaykay)
    Like everyone else has said: work hard and earn the cash, that way you can spoil your children.

    I personally hate reading people who bitch about the rich, they had to work just as - if not harder - for their place in society. I see it a ton here on TSR, people complaining about 'toffs', grow up and work hard - it's what rich people did, to become rich in the first place -.-
    >implying Britain doesn't have poor social mobility compared to most of the developled world
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    (Original post by Fires)
    Telling OP not to be resentful or "to get on her bike" (paraphrasing some of the comments) is frankly insulting.
    I would be able to understand if the OP was living in poverty. But envying someone just because their parents' can afford to give them a car, expensive clothing, etc. is something that can be 'forgotten about' by thinking about what she does have.

    How is it 'insulting'? It is a fact of life that there will always be people richer and better off than you. You just need to deal with it.
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    (Original post by 007Shella)
    Meanwhile in Africa.........
    Exactly.
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    (Original post by Iron Lady)
    Can't you channel your rage into something productive? You need to relax and stop believing the world owes you a living.
    I was taking the piss out of my persona, I have no rage
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    (Original post by MaxiFreca)
    Gahhh I get exactly the same thing. There's a private girls school near where I live and we sometimes go and stare at them to try and psike them out. At leaving time it's one long line of white range rovers and girls with totally straight blonde hair or perfect ponytail blonde hair. They really annoy me but I am also like completely made of jealous. I like the way they act though, sort of confident and smug, some of my friends hate it but I think secretly want to be them.
    My family have a Range Rover Evoque and I love being driven around in it, I lounge in comfort as we swoosh along through depressed places full of chavs like you. I just wish you would get out of the way, you are always crossing those wierd striped white things across the roads. I think we're supposed to stop at them but we don't. There's always some ugly poor girl pushing a baby in a pram across them. Loser chavs, I am sometimes 2 or 3 mins late at my private sixth form because of you.

    EDIT: I found out those white stripey things across the road are called "pedestrian crossing". I think they are for chavs to cross the road.
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    (Original post by LuckyBrat)
    Loser chavs, I am sometimes 2 or 3 mins late at my private sixth form because of you.
    I knew it couldn't be long before we had the C word.

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