[Anonymous]

How do people here deal with loneliness?
I don't have any friends and I'm not particularly close to my family. And most of the time I just feel so alone, well most of the time I am so alone. Most days go by and I never really speak to anyone.
And depression and social anxiety make it so hard to even make new friends nevermind keeping them.

[Anonymous]

I have had that, but I do have some friends; it just feels like they don't get me, or that they dont really love, and that no one really cares for me. I used to cry my self to sleep a lot...it does get better, just get involved in school/college/whatever more, and you'll make lots of friends.

P.S. May I ask how old are you?

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Anonymous)
P.S. May I ask how old are you?

Thanks
I'm 19. I know right, I feel like I should be more 'together' and mature by now

[Anon420]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks
I'm 19. I know right, I feel like I should be more 'together' and mature by now

I'm 21 this year and I'm only just getting my life back on track. I'm going back into education and uni and just trying to meet new people all the time, I use meetup websites etc to find groups with similar interests and all going well, it should be good.

Try to be positive about the future though, even if your positivity is only aimed towards that 1week holiday you booked yourself, look forward to it and be positive

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Anon420)
I'm 21 this year and I'm only just getting my life back on track. I'm going back into education and uni and just trying to meet new people all the time, I use meetup websites etc to find groups with similar interests and all going well, it should be good.

Try to be positive about the future though, even if your positivity is only aimed towards that 1week holiday you booked yourself, look forward to it and be positive

Thanks I don't really have any hobbies though, I should work on that...
PS you're in Stoke? I go to Keele haha.

[Anon420]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks I don't really have any hobbies though, I should work on that...
PS you're in Stoke? I go to Keele haha.

Yeah Keele is about 10mins away from where I live, feel free to PM me if you want, I'm always open to chat to

In terms of hobbies, I can relate... mine are either too boring or too expensive, ha What do you most enjoy doing, or what do you want to do in your free time?

[murpo]

(Original post by Anonymous)
How do people here deal with loneliness?
I don't have any friends and I'm not particularly close to my family. And most of the time I just feel so alone, well most of the time I am so alone. Most days go by and I never really speak to anyone.
And depression and social anxiety make it so hard to even make new friends nevermind keeping them.

Get yourself a teddy bear and call it Ted

[Nephilim]

For me, usually music helps. And imagination. Choosing to see things differently instead of how they "really" are helps me. Just focus on your most loved interests.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Anon420)
Yeah Keele is about 10mins away from where I live, feel free to PM me if you want, I'm always open to chat to

In terms of hobbies, I can relate... mine are either too boring or too expensive, ha What do you most enjoy doing, or what do you want to do in your free time?

Cool, thanks
Hmm, I don't know... Basically I just waste my time on Tumblr/YouTube/forums. I used to like making stuff on Photoshop but I don't really do that anymore.. And I used to read a lot, but I've not done that much recently either... I always have ideas/plans of things to do but I never end up doing anything.

(Original post by murpo)
Get yourself a teddy bear and call it Ted

My teddy bear's called Lorenzo actually

(Original post by Nephilim)
For me, usually music helps. And imagination. Choosing to see things differently instead of how they "really" are helps me. Just focus on your most loved interests.

Haha, I spend most of my time daydreaming! Yeah I know what you mean But sometimes everything just reminds me of how lonely/pathetic I am.

[murpo]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Cool, thanks
Hmm, I don't know... Basically I just waste my time on Tumblr/YouTube/forums. I used to like making stuff on Photoshop but I don't really do that anymore.. And I used to read a lot, but I've not done that much recently either... I always have ideas/plans of things to do but I never end up doing anything.



My teddy bear's called Lorenzo actually



Haha, I spend most of my time daydreaming! Yeah I know what you mean But sometimes everything just reminds me of how lonely/pathetic I am.

Oh **** I was only joking. Get yourself a dog then (Mans best friend)

[lazershus]

i deal with loneliness by keeping myself happy while alone, do anything that generally makes you happy, i tend to just end up watching tv shows and movies online, or writing cos i have a crazy imagination so i try to put it into use by writing stories (that i never finish), i sing along or dance along to music too. just anything that would put a smile to your face, maybe have a nice walk around a nice place like a park for a little while to clear your head and see the small beauties in the world

[Zaddie Caso]

Yeah, get yourself a dog, but that shouldn't be a solution, dogs are just awesome.

When I feel too isolated and not really in the mood for talking to people, I make myself do some clubs or sports that involves grouping together with others.

Sports especially are good if you have trouble initially talking to people, as most of the time the other person is concentrating on the game with you! It allows you to form a relationship without loads of awkward conversation at the start and just really have a bit of fun.

I never really get that lonely, cause even if my friends and bf and parents are away, I still have my dog. FTW.

[AlligatorTears]

I 'dealt' with loneliness by making friends, finding interests I enjoy and working at my degree. I used to feel so incredibly alone, on both the friends and family front. I had SA and depression too, which was part of the cause of my loneliness. Working on those two things has meant that I'm more confident and positive and therefore have been able to make proper friendships and be happy about the ones I already had.

We all get bored from time to time and have nothing to do and no one to do things with but no one should have to really deal with long term loneliness. I would say figure out ways to improve your confidence and get involved in things. If you have SA, depression or something like that then go and seek help. You said you were 19 I think. Don't feel sad about not being more 'mature' or anything like that, we've all been dealt different cards and we progress at different paces. And it's not as if loneliness, SA and depression are rare, they're all quite common amongst people your age.

[CrimsonGirl]

What I do is I put myself out there a bit. Even though it's highly uncomfortable, you gotta do it! Go out and meet new people. Go up to them and start a conversation about something, see if they reply nicely, and continue the conversation.

Think positively and put a lot of vitamin D and fish oil in your body, and stop sleeping so much! Also, quit smoking weed. ;P

(I might be talking to myself there >.>)

[Mr_PC]

Why not study, that way your mind is always occupied and you have no time to be lonely.

[sophiemay20]

Travelling helps me a lot. I have an ED, depression and anxiety and at home I constantly isolate myself from people and situations.. I just want to on my own here because I don't feel like I can trust anyone. But when I travel everything is and feels so different.. I just put myself out there and I'm able to meet people, go out and have fun with them so easily.. maybe it's because they don't know of my problems, not sure. I just feel so much happier.

[Anonymous]

Warning, the following post is coming at a somewhat different angle.

Not to be a downer here but I find that isolation is a pathway to a level of higher cognitive functioning, people surrounded by friends a lot of the time aren't conscious of what's really going on around them, society implants the idea that friends = social standing = self worth, only you as an individual can define that, you are not pathetic and you're only as lonely as you choose to be. If you desperately seek companionship then hey, you'll have to spend your time constantly in search of it, as the old saying goes, "No pain, no gain" social skills are just like any other muscle.

All that being said, even if you do have lots of friends that doesn't mean you'll feel any less alone or isolated. Someone earlier mentioned music as a distraction, well I'd like to think of it as therapy really, I'm not a musician but ever since I started delving into music I've found that at times certain songs can be serious portals into the recesses of your own mind.

I thoroughly recommend you listen through Radiohead's "Kid-A" a couple dozen times, I was never a fan, and I'm still not really but this specific album is very unique, it's not a rock album at all tbh, it's somewhat of a ambient, surreal drone and from time to time it really helps me out.

Just to clarify, I'm not encouraging anyone to keep themselves depressed, I'm just saying there's always a silver lining, which in this case is a chance to understand yourself more, and perhaps gain a more objective and overall more progressive view of life.

Or yeah, just go out more.

[mindful man]

I'm often lonely too. I've had a mental illness (that I'm now recovering from) since I was 17. I'm 23 now. A lot of the time has been spent out of education - so I've lost a lot of friends. I haven't had the chance of sexual relationships because of many of the drugs I've been on have damaged my functioning. Added to that, my friends have graduated now, and I'm left finishing off my degree. I have no friends at university at all. My friends are all 5 hours away. When I'm not working, I'm just browing the web, or watching TV. I am used to my own company.

I've got to the stage now, where I'm only interested in really getting to know people who I think I can establish a genuine friendship with - I'm no longer intested in having lots of 'mates'. They only **** off further down the line. So I could do without the hassle. I've also done a lot of travelling in Asia alone. So I just accept it to an extent. Most things change with time. I imagine (and hope) that being lonely doesn't last. X

[Sappho]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7s...layer_embedded

[Anon420]

(Original post by sophiemay20)
Travelling helps me a lot. I have an ED, depression and anxiety and at home I constantly isolate myself from people and situations.. I just want to on my own here because I don't feel like I can trust anyone. But when I travel everything is and feels so different.. I just put myself out there and I'm able to meet people, go out and have fun with them so easily.. maybe it's because they don't know of my problems, not sure. I just feel so much happier.

Yes, as you feel you're being treated like everyone else and not been given any special treatment because of any current or past health issues.

It's nice to just chat to a stranger if you can do it =)