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Never had a best friend, is that normal?

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    Not really thought about this before now.

    I'm now 21. In primary school i got along with everyone but wasn't particularly close with anyone. In secondary school all of my primary school friends were put in other classes and i lost contact with them all. I made some new friends but they were all close to each other and i was a tag along. When i left school i lost contact with them all. I didn't have any friends in college. At uni i do but again, they all seem to have 1 or 2 close friends in the group and i'm not like that with anyone.

    Just seems as if everyone who i meet has 1 or 2 people who they are really close to, do everything with, can trust etc and its just hit me that i've never really had anyone like that who cares about me Whilst i do have friends it doesn't seem to make much of a difference if i am around them or not.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not really thought about this before now.

    I'm now 21. In primary school i got along with everyone but wasn't particularly close with anyone. In secondary school all of my primary school friends were put in other classes and i lost contact with them all. I made some new friends but they were all close to each other and i was a tag along. When i left school i lost contact with them all. I didn't have any friends in college. At uni i do but again, they all seem to have 1 or 2 close friends in the group and i'm not like that with anyone.

    Just seems as if everyone who i meet has 1 or 2 people who they are really close to, do everything with, can trust etc and its just hit me that i've never really had anyone like that who cares about me Whilst i do have friends it doesn't seem to make much of a difference if i am around them or not.
    Im the exact same, weird, was thinking the same thing.

    Im only 15 so i guess im still in progress.

    Dont let it get to you, people come and go.

    Theres obviously someone out there who you'll soon find.

    Do you find yourself busy with work/studies?
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    I'm the same. I was friends with everyone in primary school, but moved secondary school in Year Eight and, while I have friends now, we're not really that close.

    It's not a word I associate with myself, but I'm guessing it's more normal than you think, OP. Many people make friends much later on than uni.
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    I suppose it's not strange however I cannot fathom not having one or two close friends that you can kind of fall back on. I have these two friends who no matter what happens are the first person on my mind to call and tell I suppose they're like my safety net who i now I have there to talk to to, to cry to, to fight with, to moan at, to seek help from. It's like I know I can call them at the middle of night to help me hide a dead body and I know they will.
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    I wouldn't be worried, I can't really say I've had a "best friend". I still see my friends from secondary school occasionally, but when i finish college in a month i know ill never see pretty much any of my current friends again either, as we're all off to different things in Sept. So i wouldn't be too worried and don't let it get you down
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    I don't have any best friends (asides from the only person who's been to my house).
    So you're not alone, if I'm in need of support, I rely on my family. I am mostly a tag-along, but I never speak to anyone outside of school (except social networking. I have no friends that are outside of school either.
    My scenario is pretty miserable compared to most people, but this is what happens when people don't listen to Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd, they just don't get simple things like my username on this forum. Besides, I'm not unhappy with it or anything; I would say that I'm quite reclusive in nature :rolleyes:.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not really thought about this before now.

    I'm now 21. In primary school i got along with everyone but wasn't particularly close with anyone. In secondary school all of my primary school friends were put in other classes and i lost contact with them all. I made some new friends but they were all close to each other and i was a tag along. When i left school i lost contact with them all. I didn't have any friends in college. At uni i do but again, they all seem to have 1 or 2 close friends in the group and i'm not like that with anyone.

    Just seems as if everyone who i meet has 1 or 2 people who they are really close to, do everything with, can trust etc and its just hit me that i've never really had anyone like that who cares about me Whilst i do have friends it doesn't seem to make much of a difference if i am around them or not.

    You don't always need a best friend. Personally I have since I was 3, but if you haven't that's not a problem. In some ways it makes you more independant and less reliant on others
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    Well as "best" is relative... If you have one friend, you technically have a "best" friend :P

    But I know what you mean...
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    I've always had best friends. Lots of them really, only about two I ever properly clicked with though. But that's rare already, so I'm not complaining!

    Well, it's not normal OP, because most people do have best friends, but it doesn't mean you're not suited to one or that it's a bad situation or anything. It's just unusual, that's all, doesn't have to say anything about you, your personality, etc.
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    I can think of a number of people I know who are like that, so I wouldn't say it's unusual. I've never been like that, though. I've always had two or three very close friends and my best friend and I have been inseparable for six or seven years now. I can't imagine life without her, she just makes everything so much easier. I'm the kind of person that needs someone like her though. I imagine if you function perfectly fine without a best friend, then it's nothing to worry about. I couldn't cope without mine, but there are clearly a lot of people who never need one at all.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by RalphsDisciple)
    I can think of a number of people I know who are like that, so I wouldn't say it's unusual. I've never been like that, though. I've always had two or three very close friends and my best friend and I have been inseparable for six or seven years now. I can't imagine life without her, she just makes everything so much easier. I'm the kind of person that needs someone like her though. I imagine if you function perfectly fine without a best friend, then it's nothing to worry about. I couldn't cope without mine, but there are clearly a lot of people who never need one at all.
    I wouldn't say i do though. I mean i have people to talk to when i am upset or to seek advice from but nobody who i know i could always talk to, share everything with etc. I get so jealous of people, especially girls, who always seem to have 1 person like that to rely on wherever they go.

    Also explains why i crave a relationship so much, simply for the companionship. I.e your girlfriend is like a best friend.

    (Original post by chinaberry)
    I've always had best friends. Lots of them really, only about two I ever properly clicked with though. But that's rare already, so I'm not complaining!

    Well, it's not normal OP, because most people do have best friends, but it doesn't mean you're not suited to one or that it's a bad situation or anything. It's just unusual, that's all, doesn't have to say anything about you, your personality, etc.
    May sound silly but how do i ummm.. get one? Is it too late at my age?
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    I too have never really had a best friend, or a close friend, mainly because I find it difficult to trust other people even if they fully trust me. It's weird. When I try to open up a little to those around me it just ends up awkward, forced and contrived.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wouldn't say i do though. I mean i have people to talk to when i am upset or to seek advice from but nobody who i know i could always talk to, share everything with etc. I get so jealous of people, especially girls, who always seem to have 1 person like that to rely on wherever they go.

    Also explains why i crave a relationship so much, simply for the companionship. I.e your girlfriend is like a best friend.
    The best advice I can give you in this case then is just to BE the friend you want to have. Be the very best friend you can be. I pride myself on being a good friend, no matter what that entails. If I want something from my friends, I give it to them first. For example, I want my best friend to be there for me through everything, good and bad, so I'm there for her throughout all her triumphs and all her losses. Same with my boyfriend - the "friend" part comes first in our relationship. It's never too late to have a best friend, you're never too old for one either. As I said - be the friend you want to have. It might take a while, but you'll get there.
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    I understand your problem OP. I've almost finished college and I understand what you mean by "tag along". Especially when most of your classmates are already good friends, it feels hard to fit in.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not really thought about this before now.

    I'm now 21. In primary school i got along with everyone but wasn't particularly close with anyone. In secondary school all of my primary school friends were put in other classes and i lost contact with them all. I made some new friends but they were all close to each other and i was a tag along. When i left school i lost contact with them all. I didn't have any friends in college. At uni i do but again, they all seem to have 1 or 2 close friends in the group and i'm not like that with anyone.

    Just seems as if everyone who i meet has 1 or 2 people who they are really close to, do everything with, can trust etc and its just hit me that i've never really had anyone like that who cares about me Whilst i do have friends it doesn't seem to make much of a difference if i am around them or not.

    I'm like that too .. I have close friends, I guess, but never had a true best friend ... like the kind movies keep shoving in your faces where the main character always has a friend they'd been best friends with since they were 1 ugh .. so I also kinda worry that 21 is too late to become true best friends with someone
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    My best friend is my twin.
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    I've always been a tag along, in school all of my friends bar one were people I only knew through my one friend. When we became distant in college I discovered this and found it absolutely devastating. Nowadays I enjoy my own company and find that I don't really need friends all that much, but still it is a very hard thing discovering that you are quite an unlike-able person, especially when you don't know why.

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