[Anonymous]

My bf left the first little present I got him at home when he moved into his new place and he has gone back to visit his parents and I mentioned picking it up..
Of course, he now can't find it. Thinks his parents have moved some stuff.

He says he's gutted but I'm really upset and I feel I'm overreacting, I'm not sure.

I just feel he should've taken it with him in the first place, though he says he had loads of stuff(and to be fair, we've been together long enough that he had lots of different things from me so it's not like he left the only thing.)

Either way, I'm dissapointed but I'm not sure what he/we can do?

[Calpurnia]

Dude, as I guy, I can tell you that he's more upset about losing it because you care so much than the fact that he lost some sort of present.

Presents like this really don't seem to carry the same sort of emotional weight with guys. Don't be offended that he apparently doesn't care about it, he probably doesn't, but he cares about you and that's what's important here. I've always lost little items that girlfriends have given to me, but I'm always fully committed to the relationship. It's not a gauge of how he feels, so I would say you're definitely overreacting.

[caseyhayes]

(Original post by Calpurnia)
Dude, as I guy, I can tell you that he's more upset about losing it because you care so much than the fact that he lost some sort of present.

Presents like this really don't seem to carry the same sort of emotional weight with guys. Don't be offended that he apparently doesn't care about it, he probably doesn't, but he cares about you and that's what's important here. I've always lost little items that girlfriends have given to me, but I'm always fully committed to the relationship. It's not a gauge of how he feels, so I would say you're definitely overreacting.

Thanks. I think I know I am. But I'm not sure what he's supposed to say except he is gutted that will make me happier...

[Calpurnia]

(Original post by caseyhayes)
Thanks. I think I know I am. But I'm not sure what he's supposed to say except he is gutted that will make me happier...

He doesn't need to say anything to make you happier, just feel better knowing that he really cares about you regardless of material possessions

[caseyhayes]

I know I'm un-anoned now but it's ok

I just, to some extent, feel I want him to be more upset? Does this make sense to anyone?

[echeee]

What kind of present was it? Did you get the present for anything in particular?
I think it all depends what it is and why you bought would depend on his reaction.

If my boyfriend lost the bracelet I bought him (first present I ever gave him, on our first valentines day, that he never takes off) he'd be upset.
But if he lost say... a wallet or something I gave him, he wouldn't be too bothered.

It all depends on the sentimental value on if you're over reacting or not.

[Malevolent]

(Original post by caseyhayes)
I know I'm un-anoned now but it's ok

I just, to some extent, feel I want him to be more upset? Does this make sense to anyone?

I know how you feel the first little thing my ex got me i treasured it like it was some sort of baby, when i lost it i freaked out and i felt terrible and sick with guilt that i managed to lose it. Thankfully someone found it and it was returned to me and you wouldnt know how relieved and happy i was that i got it back. He probably is feeling really bad about it so try understand things but i totally see why you would be annoyed and want that. Also just wondering what did he lose?

[Dubs_ski]

So awkward if it was a puppy...

[dgeorge]

(Original post by Anonymous)
My bf left the first little present I got him at home when he moved into his new place and he has gone back to visit his parents and I mentioned picking it up..
Of course, he now can't find it. Thinks his parents have moved some stuff.

He says he's gutted but I'm really upset and I feel I'm overreacting, I'm not sure.

I just feel he should've taken it with him in the first place, though he says he had loads of stuff(and to be fair, we've been together long enough that he had lots of different things from me so it's not like he left the only thing.)

Either way, I'm dissapointed but I'm not sure what he/we can do?

No offense, but this kind of behaviour is a bit douchey to me. He's not as upset as YOU think he "should" be, so you're upset and won't tell him that you're the one who's taken his gift?

People are human, he left it by accident. You being irrationally upset about him making a mistake and not being "upset enough" is in no way helping the issue.

What you could do is give it back to him and apologize for keeping it so long and making him feel bad that he/his parents misplaced it

[caseyhayes]

Haha no puppy and no, honestly, I don't have it
It's only a little stuffed toy shark which has a bit of sentiment attached as I have a matching one and I gave to him as our first present.

I'm accepting now that he is upset as he says he is, am just disappointed..

[cat_in_the_hat]

(Original post by dgeorge)
No offense, but this kind of behaviour is a bit douchey to me. He's not as upset as YOU think he "should" be, so you're upset and won't tell him that you're the one who's taken his gift?

People are human, he left it by accident. You being irrationally upset about him making a mistake and not being "upset enough" is in no way helping the issue.

What you could do is give it back to him and apologize for keeping it so long and making him feel bad that he/his parents misplaced it

What made you think she took it??

I would be upset too, but you can't make him feel how you do. Also considering he left it at his parents I'm sure it'll turn up again sometime, it probably won't be lost for good

[echeee]

(Original post by dgeorge)
No offense, but this kind of behaviour is a bit douchey to me. He's not as upset as YOU think he "should" be, so you're upset and won't tell him that you're the one who's taken his gift?

People are human, he left it by accident. You being irrationally upset about him making a mistake and not being "upset enough" is in no way helping the issue.

What you could do is give it back to him and apologize for keeping it so long and making him feel bad that he/his parents misplaced it

Where did you even get the idea that she has it?

OP if it has got sentimental value, I'd expect him to be upset about it too, prehaps he's just not showing it as, well, there is nothing you can do about it?
You could always buy another toy shark.

[dgeorge]

(Original post by cat_in_the_hat)
What made you think she took it??

I would be upset too, but you can't make him feel how you do. Also considering he left it at his parents I'm sure it'll turn up again sometime, it probably won't be lost for good

My bad, I misinterpreted the "picking it up" part

[dgeorge]

(Original post by echeee)
Where did you even get the idea that she has it?

OP if it has got sentimental value, I'd expect him to be upset about it too, prehaps he's just not showing it as, well, there is nothing you can do about it?
You could always buy another toy shark.

Misinterpreted the "picking it up" part, my fault