(Original post by KTCI)
Thanks for the kind words, it's actually just really nice to have someone to talk to about it! I don't really have many friends, and certainly not ones who I can talk to about stuff like this. It frightens people. So it's been pretty rough with me just trying to hold my head together.
I did go to my doctor, as the counselling service booked me in for an emergency appointment after they saw the state I was in, but I have (over many years of mental health problems) a general distrust of doctors ... when I got there, he asked me what I was there for, and I told him what I'd been feeling and that it had actually gotten to the point of being suicidal. Obviously this is very frightening as I've never felt like that before. He just looked at me without any expression at all, and asked what triggered it. I said that it was probably the end of my relationship, and he just gave me a look like 'right, whatever' and prescribed me some antidepressants, ignoring me when I said that I've been on them before and they did nothing. I hate doctors.
I think that it's the chaos that worries me really. If I was in a constant low mood or constant good mood, it'd be fine, but the shifting is awful! I do really want to deal with it now, but I've put so much into my degree that I want to get through exams before I devote my full attention to it. How do you handle the sudden mood changes?