[honggau]

...

[karousel]

(Original post by honggau)
I know no one wants to admit that they're lonely because loneliness is often associated with being a loser. But I've seen a lot of people doing things alone. They go to the cinema alone, they eat alone, they go to the park alone, etc. I feel really sad because I'm alone too. Well I AM a loner in nature because I enjoy spending time with myself and I'm best at individual work but sometimes it really sucks. Why don't we talk to each other? Why are we always on the phone, reading newspapers on the bus, tube? Why do we have to feel lonely when there are so many people on this earth together? I know a lot of people find it hard to make friends but I just wish someone would just show up and be my friend.

This is my case. I'm a Vietnamese student in a private school. The kids at my school don't like Asian students. Well it's maybe not fair to say but really we just can't hang out. We can talk in class but outside the school, we're like invisible to each other. Sometimes I even feel like those European kids are embarrassed by saying they're friends with an Asian. Some don't even respect me. They put me into a loser position while I'm actually the one who should look down on them for taking up smoking just to be cool. They think I'm weird and nerdy when I have high marks and so they automatically assume that I study all the time while in fact I'm just good at remembering things and I'm always open to any new culture. But that stereotype of a Asian nerd really makes it very difficult for me to befriend with anyone. I can see that even white boys don't hang out with asian boys. Maybe language is another problem. In short, basically now I don't have any friends at school. I can talk to them in class but never outside the school. I just wish this could change. My social life is so low. Even some Asian girlfriends at school never texts me. No one ever tries to reach me. I don't know why?! I really want to be part of something, somewhere I belong to. I feel like I'm missing out on something here.

So how about you? Are you lonely?

Sometimes I get lonely but in all honesty, I think this is an inevitable phase for many people. No doubt your situation is exacerbated by the fact you may have less in common with other students at your school than they do with each other.
I hope you're okay though. It may not be that people are making a conscious effort not to reach you, but more that you are often alone in public and so people assume this is how you prefer to go about your life ? I don't know. If people aren't contacting you for a negative reason then they sound like idiots and you're better off without them.

By private school, do you mean pre-college level ?
Because school is very different to both college and university. That which is on the exterior gradually begins to matter less.
If it makes you feel any better, you sound a lot cooler than anyone that brands someone a 'loser' for being different to them and takes up smoking to fit in. They're probably intimidated by your good grades and the inevitable good things that await you because of them...

(I'm really sorry if this post was at all patronising, I'm really bad at getting things across the way I want them to sound online)

[honggau]

(Original post by karousel)
Sometimes I get lonely but in all honesty, I think this is an inevitable phase for many people. No doubt your situation is exacerbated by the fact you may have less in common with other students at your school than they do with each other.
I hope you're okay though. It may not be that people are making a conscious effort not to reach you, but more that you are often alone in public and so people assume this is how you prefer to go about your life ? I don't know. If people aren't contacting you for a negative reason then they sound like idiots and you're better off without them.

By private school, do you mean pre-college level ?
Because school is very different to both college and university. That which is on the exterior gradually begins to matter less.
If it makes you feel any better, you sound a lot cooler than anyone that brands someone a 'loser' for being different to them and takes up smoking to fit in. They're probably intimidated by your good grades and the inevitable good things that await you because of them...

(I'm really sorry if this post was at all patronising, I'm really bad at getting things across the way I want them to sound online)

I think you're actually right. When the year first began, I still hung out with the girls but then i just find myself on my own and they still go to places together. And I don't actually reach out to any of them. The thing is I can't find any common with anyone I know. And the people I don't know I don't even have a chance to talk to (as I said above). They don't explicitly say anyone a loser but i can feel from the way they talk and treat Asian kids at school. Actually no one in that private school actually hangs out with anyone. Just some boys smoking, chatting between classes and after school. I don't even know what's going on in this school!!

And what I mean by private school is a sixth form school where you have to pay a lot of money to have a class with just 6-8 students and they give you a lot of freedom. Some even said to me this is a drop out college because they don't study, they just skip classes, retake and do bull**** lol btw i'm in my as.

Well now I think there are actually a lot of problems here for my loneliness lol

[Glen_coco]

(Original post by honggau)
I know no one wants to admit that they're lonely because loneliness is often associated with being a loser. But I've seen a lot of people doing things alone. They go to the cinema alone, they eat alone, they go to the park alone, etc. I feel really sad because I'm alone too. Well I AM a loner in nature because I enjoy spending time with myself and I'm best at individual work but sometimes it really sucks. Why don't we talk to each other? Why are we always on the phone, reading newspapers on the bus, tube? Why do we have to feel lonely when there are so many people on this earth together? I know a lot of people find it hard to make friends but I just wish someone would just show up and be my friend.

This is my case. I'm a Vietnamese student in a private school. The kids at my school don't like Asian students. Well it's maybe not fair to say but really we just can't hang out. We can talk in class but outside the school, we're like invisible to each other. Sometimes I even feel like those European kids are embarrassed by saying they're friends with an Asian. Some don't even respect me. They put me into a loser position while I'm actually the one who should look down on them for taking up smoking just to be cool. They think I'm weird and nerdy when I have high marks and so they automatically assume that I study all the time while in fact I'm just good at remembering things and I'm always open to any new culture. But that stereotype of a Asian nerd really makes it very difficult for me to befriend with anyone. I can see that even white boys don't hang out with asian boys. Maybe language is another problem.

In short, basically now I don't have any friends at school. I can talk to them in class but never outside the school. I just wish this could change. My social life is so low. Even some Asian girlfriends at school never texts me. No one ever tries to reach me. I don't know why?! I really want to be part of something, somewhere I belong to. I feel like I'm missing out on something here.

So how about you? Are you lonely?

Have you tried joining any sports/drama/.. clubs? Perhaps even outside the school if students in your school act the way they do?

You're definitely not alone in feeling lonely though .. I'm one of those people you mentioned who go to concerts by themselves, not because I want to though, just because I don't know anyone who wants to go with me

[Ms.LastMinute.com]

You should try remembering, that friendship is always short term.

Family are people that will always be there, even though you think they're not.

[ShredMaster]

(Original post by honggau)
I think you're actually right. When the year first began, I still hung out with the girls but then i just find myself on my own and they still go to places together. And I don't actually reach out to any of them. The thing is I can't find any common with anyone I know. And the people I don't know I don't even have a chance to talk to (as I said above). They don't explicitly say anyone a loser but i can feel from the way they talk and treat Asian kids at school. Actually no one in that private school actually hangs out with anyone. Just some boys smoking, chatting between classes and after school. I don't even know what's going on in this school!!

And what I mean by private school is a sixth form school where you have to pay a lot of money to have a class with just 6-8 students and they give you a lot of freedom. Some even said to me this is a drop out college because they don't study, they just skip classes, retake and do bull**** lol btw i'm in my as.

Well now I think there are actually a lot of problems here for my loneliness lol

Its allright. I had literally no friends for 2 years straight in school, but then eventually I met up with people outside of school and new kids came and I befriended them. Now I am never really alone. To be honest, its just a phase. I'm Asian too so I understand where you're coming from. just bear in mind it is you who will have friends and respect in the future, and not these losers.

[honggau]

(Original post by Glen_coco)
Have you tried joining any sports/drama/.. clubs? Perhaps even outside the school if students in your school act the way they do?

You're definitely not alone in feeling lonely though .. I'm one of those people you mentioned who go to concerts by themselves, not because I want to though, just because I don't know anyone who wants to go with me

I did try to join at the beginning of the year.. debate and tennis club but then i just lost interest. I actually did make 2 friends from that one day I joined that 2 clubs lol maybe it's my fault. I make people think I like being alone and I'm just being too independent. I actually try to act cool like I don't give a **** about anything but oh menn I want some friends like anyone

And hey, I actually did go to concert (for the first time of my life awesome!!) alone (this bit is not so exciting lol). I can go with you if you want I really like those activities even though I have no talent at music!! But yess I'm always up to concerts!!

(Original post by ShredMaster)
Its allright. I had literally no friends for 2 years straight in school, but then eventually I met up with people outside of school and new kids came and I befriended them. Now I am never really alone. To be honest, its just a phase. I'm Asian too so I understand where you're coming from. just bear in mind it is you who will have friends and respect in the future, and not these losers.

Thank you for your nice words ShredMaster Yeah that's why I keep telling myself as well. I hope university will be different. But I know I have to change myself as well or the situation will never be different. It's just a bit tough to move to a new environment where all people know about you is stereotypes.

So are you in university now?

[JordanS94]

hmmm I seem to be alone a lot, but I don't mind it tbh I actually feel happy when I alone I do enjoy not being alone too (just in case you thought I was a weird loser)

[ShredMaster]

(Original post by honggau)
I did try to join at the beginning of the year.. debate and tennis club but then i just lost interest. I actually did make 2 friends from that one day I joined that 2 clubs lol maybe it's my fault. I make people think I like being alone and I'm just being too independent. I actually try to act cool like I don't give a **** about anything but oh menn I want some friends like anyone

And hey, I actually did go to concert (for the first time of my life awesome!!) alone (this bit is not so exciting lol). I can go with you if you want I really like those activities even though I have no talent at music!! But yess I'm always up to concerts!!




Thank you for your nice words ShredMaster Yeah that's why I keep telling myself as well. I hope university will be different. But I know I have to change myself as well or the situation will never be different. It's just a bit tough to move to a new environment where all people know about you is stereotypes.

So are you in university now?

No. I just finished my finals. Will be going to uni (hopefully!) in September. The last two years in school have been great for me, but before that it was pretty bad. I just pulled myself through it by keeping myself distracted through guitar and videogames. Also, in university, there is quite a diverse, international community. I don't think anyone will be bothered by you being Asian. I have a lot of friends who are in uni now. A lot of them were alone in school but in university they have a lot more friends. I wouldn't worry too much. Just participate in conversations, and people will warm to you anyway!

[BefuddledPenguin]

I'm almost always alone, gradually I have learned to enjoy my own company, it would be nice if it wasn't necessary though. I just struggle to find anyone who thinks and feels in a similar way to me, It's like I can only observe society, and never truly partake in it.

[Raj K]

naaa dont change yourself for anyone else. Just think -Me, Myself and I.

[honggau]

I can see there are actually others who feel the same way about being lonely so I'm actually not alone here :") Wish we could be friends somehow so we won't be lonely anymore! But well we're just some strangers on the internet.. Life is so ironic, isn't it?

[Mrx123]

I'm someone with good friends and a gf but still sometimes feels lonely

[Anonymous]

YES. I have also been lonely for the past 2-3 years, but I'm hoping it's a phase that will slowly pass.

[XO*]

Is it not the case for most A-level students to have a **** social life?

[Wilfred Little]

I was but I got so used to my own company that I now enjoy it and often wonder how I will cope when I am married and rarely on my own in the house.

Sometimes it would be nice to have more people I can talk to, I have more "friends" online than I do in real life which is a bit sad.

[nowhere-girl]

Most of my life I have been alone - school, college, uni, etc - but I don't feel lonely all the time. I guess I am just used to it. Most of the time it's best for me anyways since I'm not very good at social interactions.

[Chicken Hulk]

Hey,

This is a part of life which i am currently going through right now. I had my big group of friends in high school and slowly when i had to go college i lost friends. I am now in uni and i dont even need to count all the fingers on one hand to show the amount of friends i have.

There is nothing wrong with doing things yourself, i have learnt that not everyone will like you but i have also learnt that not everyone hates you.

There are some friends waiting to meet you out there in the world, just try and be patient. Join a club or something ( I go to my local gym just to be around people rather than feel lonely).

[Rarrgh]

Lonely is all I seem to be, when with gf's or friends in the past I never really felt comfortable or like they were actually friends. It isn't nice.

[such_a_lady]

I feel lonely very often because apart from my family and my boyfriend, I don't have any real or meaningful relationships. I've never had really amazing deep friendships. Hoping I'll find them at uni. I'm like you OP in that I give off the impression that I'm super independent, but yesterday I was just so low that I cuddled up in bed and lay there feeling lonely. It doesn't help that my boyfriend lives abroad. Today I talked to lots of people, which helped.