Hey guys, was hoping i could get some advice from some other students.
Currently coming to the end of my first year of uni, and have some problems on the friendship front. I'll try and cut my story short.
Last year i was completely diffrent to now, i was quite held make, oppinionated and not at all sociable, used to really just go stragiht to college then home. I wasnt at all wanting to go to uni in fact i was only going as my parents pretty much gave me no other option.
Over the summer, i really began to change, and starting being a lot more open minded and wanting to actively meet new people. When uni started, the first few weeks i didnt like it at all, as i didnt want to go in the first place, and had difficulty making friends. I live at home and go to uni in the same city. Anyways, as the weeks went on i started meeting people and really began to enjoy uni. Things were pretty much starting to get a lot better, and progressively i was loving uni. I dont drink, although still enjoy going out (clubbing etc) and started going with different people from uni which was really fun. However, by not living in halls i feel ive found it diffcult to get closer to friends ive made on my course or meet new people. For example, im always up for going out, but whenever i ask any of the people ive come to be friends with on my course there always reluctant etc. I an understand this, as by not being really close can be some awkwardness. So my question really is how do i go about getting closer with friends to the point where they would invite me out with them, or will actually come out when i ask them? How would you guys like to be apporached by this?
Im really love uni and im sad that my first year is ending. I want to have a good time with friends after exams but really dont know how to ask friends to do stuff as there all so reluctant! I really regret not moving out, but at the time i made the decision, my head was in a completely different place.
Any ideas would be appreciated. Sorry for the long text.
I didn't want to read and run. I'm a first year student and the only people on my course I don't know quite well are the few that live with their parents in the area. I do think part of university experience is living away from parents and while I know it isn't always possible I think your story rather proves what the experts say. My case is a bit different since my parents are dead but even then I would have wanted to live in Halls and not with them
Can't you just move out for your second year and rent with the friends you made?
Thanks for reponses
@Orphan what i find though is people are often distant with students living at home as home students dont appear as sociable. For example, some people i have made friends with who are also home students just never want to go out, or go straight home after uni and dont want to hang out after and spend evenings/weekends with other home students. Whereas i really make an effort, try hang out with people after uni and barely see my home friends until holidays as i want to focus on uni.
Although i agree, people should definately move out for uni, especially first year, its my biggest regret.
@Soph, yeh i really do want to move out myself, i need a change of living environment and want that experience, but dont know how well it will go down with family or how im going to afford it.
So im going to focus on the moving out part over the summer, but now kinda need suggestions on how to social with uni friends who i dont know so well but want to know better as the seem interesting without being seen as a 'tag along' or 'clingy'?
One of the best ways to get to know other people at uni is to join a club or society as you get to meet like minded people on a regular basis outside of lectures/seminars. As for people you have met on you course, perhaps suggest going for a coffee or having lunch and then after a few meet ups like that you can then move on to suggesting going out clubbing etc.
Thanks some good suggestions ill try!
Also as a guy, its somehow so difficult to try and be friends with a girl, without making it seem like im trying to get her. How does one overcome this?
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