[Anonymous]

I had this friend, she was my best friend. Friend of 7 years best friends of 3. We were inseparable, virtually twins. She brightened up my days, she was my soul mate. We never/barely bickered or argued. However in 2010 there was an unfortunate incident where we applied to virtually the same medical schools and got all rejections. We applied for a 5th option at the same university however we applied to late and got automatic rejections. At this time, we were close, too close. I thought we needed some space and I thought going to different universities would be best. 1 university allowed us to transfer our applications to the biomedical sciences department, she wasn't to keen on going to that university. She wanted the 'London dream' and in order to get it she had to apply to a different course, at the London university she'd initially applied to. She has to do this via UCAS extra. She didn't want to fall the risk of getting rejected via UCAS extra and automatically enter clearing, so she later decided to pick the university she where she could transfer her application. I didn't want her to attend the same university as I, doing the same course, on the same campus and shoving each other down each other's throats wouldn't have been good on the friendship. My genuinely good intentions backfired. I'd ask the man in charge of UCAS to convince her to go for the London university. I told him not to tell her. I explained my reasons why. He was he'll do it. The next day she ignored me completely. I was confused, upset and mortified. She'd never ignored me before. It was completely unlike her. I spoke to another friend about why she might be ignoring me in the library. She'd never really liked the idea of her being so close to me because she thought she'd distracted me from my academia (my best friend didn't work as hard as me but seemed to always get better grades). She was quite malicious about it. I sort of joined in to simply to please the friend and also out and anger. NEVER TALK IN PUBLIC AREAS. To my surprise she'd heard all that we had said about her. She was behind a wall that seperated the reading room from the computer room. It was like a movie. She looked distressed, betrayed and upset. She left the library trying to pull a happy face. I've never in my life felt like a complete bitch. I spoke to a mutual friend of ours about the situation and he'd said how it all seemed pety and how I should talk to her. I did talk to her in my biology class, but my words came out wrong. I was very much the vilian in this case, nothing could justify my actions.

The next day things were surprisingly back to normal and she was back to her cheery self. We never spoke of the incident again. In August of 2010, we both ended up not getting the grades we needed to get into our firm university and entered clearing. She went to a ex-poly in london and I took a gap year. We spoke quite frequently in 2011, she'd send me essays on her life on Facebook. I'd so the same. Although I always sensed small tension since the incident things were back to normal . I went to university in October 2011, it had been a while since I'd last spoken to her and I'd called her on the first day I arrived at university. I noticed she'd pronounced my name differently to how she normally did. I sensed distance. She spoke to me on Facebook in October 2011 and that was it. She didn't bother to even wish me a Happy Birthday. I went to university feeling lonely, nobody was quite like her. I neded her with me. I have a very close friend at university but we lack the genuine chemistry me and my best friend once had. I lost her number as I'd changed my SIM. I'd spoken to her numerous times on Facebook for months and received no answer. She's hardly on Facebook and barely replies to messages. I assumed she hadn't seen them or she was waiting a few months so she could write an essay about her life. Although it has been months I had hope she'd reply. She never told me to doubt our friendship one day I did, I messaged her saying that I felt I was being ignored and if I'd done something wrong. Yesterday she removed me as a friend on facebook. I don't know why...

I make best friends easily but I lose them easily. I have no idea why. I am genuinely nice person, in fact she once said she admired my niceness. My intentions are always good. My best friend was the only compatible friend I'd ever had. I've meet nobody quite like her. I'll probably never have a friend as good as her. My close friend at university lives in another country so once she graduates she'd had left and I'll be by myself, lonely, having to reminiscence on my regretful past. I'm heart-broken, I had hopes to rekindle what we'd lost, become re-mates and be like the doctors who are bestfriends on Scrubs.

I'm close to tears. Help me....

[Anonymous]

off*

[longchamp]

i once did the same thing as your friend. you know sometimes what we need is sb companies with us in deeds. but always my friends ask for my company and never offer their consideration to me. i was really disappointed. and at last i cut all the contacs with them.

[MattCunnelly]

If she's cut you off like that with no explanation she isn't worth it. Try and forget about her and move on, you're going to meet a lot of people over the rest of your life and I'm sure you'll meet someone a lot nicer.

[Anonymous]

I guess she waited for an apology.You knew you had done something wrong (going behind her back).If she was your friend you should have talked to her and told her your concerns.Probably if you were open about it and offered her her a sincere apology then you would have a chance to rebuild your friendship.

[wenger16]

You need to move on as harsh as it sounds. This happened to me with my ex. I couldn't bear it either but time heals. There is a whole world out there you will meet someone better than her. Thing is she's moved on your not part of her life anymore. People change, friendship ends, good things come to an end, its life.

[Anonymous]

I've notice I've made quite a few errors. I'm sorry if it's illegible/difficult to read.

[Anonymous]

My best friend stopped talking to me when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. She convinced herself she'd catch HPV and cancer if she continued to hang around with me.

People suck. That's life.

[hannahchan]

(Original post by Anonymous)
My best friend stopped talking to me when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. She convinced herself she'd catch HPV and cancer if she continued to hang around with me.

People suck. That's life.

WHAT!!! That friend sounds like a right -----.

[JnKnPt]

You tried to stop her going to uni....

[xoxlovelifexox]

i actually feel so sad reading this. if there is a possibility, what i would do is try and find a way to meet-up with your best friend, maybe somehow through mutual friends, or go visit her, write her a letter and just try and get face to face confrontation about what is going on to put your mind at ease. if you visit her directly then make sure you know exactly what you want to say, this might be tough, but pour your heart out, tell her exactly how you feel, how upset you feeling by what's happened to your friendship and how you miss her and what you had was so special you know no other friendship can anywhere as close. you should make sure even though if the ending is the same, you're disconnected from one another's lives that after actually seeing each other face to face this is the outcome. it if it were me, i would want that, especially seeing how long your friendship has lasted. i think you also need to give a chance to her to explain yourself properly about your actions, just so she knows everything properly and if possible for you to hear her perspective. there must be a reason why she deleted you off facebook now and what's happened, whether it's purely because she wants to move on from the friendship you had, then you'll know what to do afterwards, but i think you'll feel better after a heart to heart with her. you should tell her beforehand that you just want to meet to get everything out of both of your chests so there's no hard-feelings afterwards and you'll never wonder, "why". considering how long your friendship has been, i'm sure she thinks about you frequently too, but whatever happened for her to do what she did, she owes you an explanation and i think you owe her one. that's why i really believe you should try and find a way to meet up with her and have that one last (if that's what it will be) verbal communication, so you can both owe each other explanations and there are no "what-if" factors in the future involved.

please don't hesitate to pm me if you need to, i don't mind helping you or listening to you as much as you want.

[Orphan]

I'm a bit shocked by what the OP wrote and I'm not surprised it caused some problems. Best friends come and go. My best friend from primary school went to a different comprehensive and I hardly spoke to her again. My best friend from year 7. 8 and 9 moved to another town and we haven't spoken in ages (and then only via Facebook) and my best friend from years 10, 11 and 12 was a super bitch when my mum and dad got killed. (She called me a drama queen just after the funeral)

It is just the way the world is. I think you might need to move on alone.

[Pawsies]

I don't know there is a stalkerish tone about the post...

I've been there aswell, my best friend stopped talking to me, she totally changed and become more of a slut. She went from this shy person to flirty and above other people. I'm not sure I want to stay in contact with her tbh. Anyway she also deleted me on facebook which was painful.

[bahjat93]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm heart-broken, I had hopes to rekindle what we'd lost, become re-mates and be like the doctors who are bestfriends on Scrubs.

Noooo, doing medicine for this reason is NOT GOOD!
Scrubs is a TV show!
In my perfect lifestyle I want to be like Batman, who tells girls to get in his strange cars and they get in .

Now this is what you do, get her number from a mutual friend and then give her a ring and just apologise for EVERYTHING! If you want to be her friend again you have to say sorry no matter what you think.

Some day i wish i have a close friend as you did but all i have is my Butler.
His name is Alfred, Alfred Pennyworth!

[Ape Gone Insane]

Did you ever truly apologise?

You did go behind her back, talk to the UCAS man and tell him to try and convince her to go a different university. Your reasons seem partly selfish and partly selfless in not wanting to be at the same university as her and wanted her to achieve her dream. Whatever your intentions may have been, I'm guessing she found out through the man what you were trying to do. From her point of view, it probably seemed like you didn't value your friendship with her and wanted to get rid of her/secretly hated her. I mean, you didn't make things better in the library incident. If anything, that probably confirmed your best friend's feelings and suspicions about you.

I think you need to accept that it may not be possible to fix what is broken, after all this time. Being reminiscent of the past won't bring anything positive and will make you feel more depressed. But you should send her a proper apology or message talking about the whole thing. Find a way to contact her properly (FB message, letter or meet up), be sure she will end up reading your message. Don't justify your actions. Don't attempt to add her again. Just tell her how much she means to you, what you've missed and to what extent you regret what you did/are sorry. Maybe she has moved on from you and that whole period of her life but I think you both need one last piece of closure.

As a word of wisdom from my own experience, you need to accept what you did, what it felt like for her and not try to justify your actions about how you were trying to do what was best for her. Think carefully about the message or apology you may want to send but accept that you've lost her as a best friend and don't expect any reconciliation.

[aeterno]

That post needs to be read with this playing in the background: