[Malevolent]

Hi guys in this thread im looking for some information on what i can do about my hair and fashion. I've finally decided i need to change and become more confident im sick off people telling me to look up and stop staring at the floor, stop slouching and you need to take more pride in your appearance. Family and people in school have said it and i want it to stop, il admit im not exactly confident but i'm not down in the dumps either but people say i look like it and it puts them off talking to me so I would really like to know how i can change it.

Would like a new haircut/style as its currently really awful and i just don't take any care in it whatsoever. Suggestions would be great.

Also some new clothes suggestions as i hate being the kid who is known for wearing boardshorts all the time and Nba and NFL jersey's. I do love tropical kind of print or pretty casual but sometimes i look maybe to casual? Also accessories like wrist bands and necklaces, want to wear my christian cross but i do get a few comments from people about it. Just any tips would be appreciated so i look more approachable and friendly i guess My pictures are in my profile and yeah my hair goes through some pretty messed up days.

[sammy-lou]

I can totally see you with this kind of a hair style:
, although thats only me going by one photo, so don't hold me to that if you don't think it would look any good. I do think your hair could do with being a little longer though, and more styled.

As for clothes, if it's confidence you're going for, you really, honestly need to just wear something comfortable that makes you feel good about yourself. Just have a look at whats available, don't be afraid to try something you wouldn't normally go for.

You mentioned posture - just keep your back straight and shoulders back slightly and force yourself to look ahead, not down. It does the world of good for your whole appearance, makes your clothes hang better, I really can't emphasise enough how important posture is in coming across as confident and approachable.

Having said ALL of that, and at the risk of sounding kind of woolly, don't force change upon yourself unless it still feels like 'you'.

[Bryci]

(Original post by sammy-lou)
I can totally see you with this kind of a hair style:
, although thats only me going by one photo, so don't hold me to that if you don't think it would look any good. I do think your hair could do with being a little longer though, and more styled.

As for clothes, if it's confidence you're going for, you really, honestly need to just wear something comfortable that makes you feel good about yourself. Just have a look at whats available, don't be afraid to try something you wouldn't normally go for.

You mentioned posture - just keep your back straight and shoulders back slightly and force yourself to look ahead, not down. It does the world of good for your whole appearance, makes your clothes hang better, I really can't emphasise enough how important posture is in coming across as confident and approachable.

Having said ALL of that, and at the risk of sounding kind of woolly, don't force change upon yourself unless it still feels like 'you'.

Oh wow, wonder if his hair could go like that, i agree posture is very important theres a whole world of difference in slouching and sitting/standing straight it creates two very different images of people. Dont stand up so far and puff your chest out etc cause you will just look like a douche but if you stand straight you would definitely look more approachable.

Saying that i love the whole surfer sort of look cause you said you wear boardshorts a lot right? Maybe you dont need to change your wardrobe just your posture and pride in appearance perhaps like Sammy said. Also just curious your hair looks seriously curly in some photos, is that natural or curled ? Can you grow an affro as well ?!?

[Rascacielos]

OP, I'm sure girls on here will come up with some wonderful suggestions, but I'd just like to point out that getting a new hairstyle and a new wardrobe is only superficial; it doesn't magically make you more confident. In fact it could ruin your confidence even more when you realise people don't treat you any differently, depsite your efforts. People respond to confidence over what you're wearing and no matter how fashionable you are, confidence is something you have to develop of your own accord. It's not something you just acquire.

Just thought I would mention this, given that a few years ago I was in a similar situation to you whereby I tried to do everything to make myself more confident. I got a new hair do, new clothes, even tried to change my personality. It's a lot of effort and you just end up feeling really confused - learning to accept who you are - even if that includes a Christian cross - is the key to confidence. Of course, if you fancy a new hair do and some new clothes, then that's great, but just make sure they reflect you rather than the person you're aspiring to be.

[Malevolent]

(Original post by Bryci)
Can you grow an affro as well ?!?

Yeah sadly if i dont get a haircut for a while my hair grows upwards into a fro. Really dont like it especially when its summer as its hot and it makes my head feel like its a furnace...

[Zaf47]

You're a good looking guy! You shouldn't have to feel like you need to change yourself, but if you think it will help you to gain confidence then give it a go and I say good for you.
I think your hair would look great a little longer! You have a bit of the Zayn Malik look going on so maybe just try to grow your hair a little longer on top with short sides, and it should be pretty easy to style with some gel.

He's a pretty good dresser as well so maybe just take a look at the sort of things he wears?
I'm not a 'directioner' by the way, I just thought you have a similar look to the guy so it may suit you too! Good luck with it!

[Malevolent]

(Original post by Zaf47)
You're a good looking guy! You shouldn't have to feel like you need to change yourself, but if you think it will help you to gain confidence then give it a go and I say good for you.
I think your hair would look great a little longer! You have a bit of the Zayn Malik look going on so maybe just try to grow your hair a little longer on top with short sides, and it should be pretty easy to style with some gel.

He's a pretty good dresser as well so maybe just take a look at the sort of things he wears?
I'm not a 'directioner' by the way, I just thought you have a similar look to the guy so it may suit you too! Good luck with it!

I should say my hair right now is pretty long, probably to the length of like Kevin Jonas's hair. I dont want to completely change who i am i just want to try be a little more outgoing and confident cause lately i've felt pretty lonely and people saying their kinda put of approaching me has exacerbated everything. Thanks for your help as well!

[willbee]

Confidence is completely seperate to clothes and haircut. However I can understand why you'd use a change in your image as a platform for a change in your attitude. I think as a guy, I'd advise you not to get a ridiculous haircut that takes loads of effort to maintain. Unless that is the sort of thing you look forward to in a morning I wouldn't worry about changing your hairstyle and making it more complex than it needs be. Fashion always changes and hairstyles quickly become overrated but it takes longer to get rid of one that you don't like / takes too much effort.

As for clothes, wear what suits you and what you like. TOPMAN has a load of cool shirts if that's what you're into but I don't think you should try to dress like someone else.

I'd advise you to just pretend to be confident. Before you know it you'll be considerably more confident and you won't have to pretend any more. To quote Ghandi: "Be the change your wish to see in the world". Pretend you've got swagger and soon you really will.

As for wearing a cross, I'm all for people doing that so long as they're not using religious iconography to be fashionable. I don't like it when people use rosary beads as necklaces on nights out when they're on the pull but if you want a WWJD wristband then that's cool and anyone who asks about it probably isn't insulting you, it's just that you get so many people wearing crucifixes for the fun of it when you see someone wearing something like a christian fish or cross you want to ask if its for real...

Edit: TOPMAN LINK http://www.topman.com/webapp/wcs/sto...1&pageSize=200

[Malevolent]

(Original post by willbee)
Confidence is completely seperate to clothes and haircut. However I can understand why you'd use a change in your image as a platform for a change in your attitude. I think as a guy, I'd advise you not to get a ridiculous haircut that takes loads of effort to maintain. Unless that is the sort of thing you look forward to in a morning I wouldn't worry about changing your hairstyle and making it more complex than it needs be. Fashion always changes and hairstyles quickly become overrated but it takes longer to get rid of one that you don't like / takes too much effort.

As for clothes, wear what suits you and what you like. TOPMAN has a load of cool shirts if that's what you're into but I don't think you should try to dress like someone else.

I'd advise you to just pretend to be confident. Before you know it you'll be considerably more confident and you won't have to pretend any more. To quote Ghandi: "Be the change your wish to see in the world". Pretend you've got swagger and soon you really will.

As for wearing a cross, I'm all for people doing that so long as they're not using religious iconography to be fashionable. I don't like it when people use rosary beads as necklaces on nights out when they're on the pull but if you want a WWJD wristband then that's cool and anyone who asks about it probably isn't insulting you, it's just that you get so many people wearing crucifixes for the fun of it when you see someone wearing something like a christian fish or cross you want to ask if its for real...

Edit: TOPMAN LINK http://www.topman.com/webapp/wcs/sto...1&pageSize=200

Thanks man for all the help. I completely agree i am not wearing it for a fashion statement i want to wear it because its who i am but i hate being accused of wearing it as a extra accessory thing. Where exactly do you get those wwjd bracelets their pretty cool. I may just wear the cross necklace at home to avoid the grief.

How do you stop from becoming to confident though i dont want to turn into some self obsessed person i just want to be able to walk around with my head held high and to be approachable.

[S-man10]

(Original post by Rascacielos)
OP, I'm sure girls on here will come up with some wonderful suggestions, but I'd just like to point out that getting a new hairstyle and a new wardrobe is only superficial; it doesn't magically make you more confident. In fact it could ruin your confidence even more when you realise people don't treat you any differently, depsite your efforts. People respond to confidence over what you're wearing and no matter how fashionable you are, confidence is something you have to develop of your own accord. It's not something you just acquire.

Actually, this is quite false, going on to change how you dress -- which is basically about how you present yourself to others -- does help, quite a lot in some cases. People do tend to treat a person differently with how he presents himself. If a guy came up to a group to talk dressed as a slob, then obviously it won't do him any good, but if he takes care to present himself in a more stylish and smart way, then he will be treated differently. Only those rare few will put that person down, which lets be honest are everywhere... and its best to ignore them.

The OP isn't acquiring confidence by buying new clothes, he is stepping out his comfort zone to develop his confidence by looking different.

As for the OP: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1615921

[willbee]

(Original post by johnharris19944)
Thanks man for all the help. I completely agree i am not wearing it for a fashion statement i want to wear it because its who i am but i hate being accused of wearing it as a extra accessory thing. Where exactly do you get those wwjd bracelets their pretty cool. I may just wear the cross necklace at home to avoid the grief.

How do you stop from becoming to confident though i dont want to turn into some self obsessed person i just want to be able to walk around with my head held high and to be approachable.

I think the key to becoming confident in yourself but not self-obsessed is that your primary goal should always be making you feel comfortable and confident with yourself. Even really insecure people can be self-obsessed if they spend too much time worrying about what other people are thinking of them. If you are going to get a new wardrobe and try to be a better person, just make sure you are making the change for yourself and for what you think of yourself and not for what anyone else thinks of you.

As for the WWJD bracelets, I used to belong to a church that sold them and I know you can get them at Christian gigs / camps and stuff but I can't think of any retail stores that would sell them. If you want one you could probably try online:

Ebay link to the sort that I had when I was younger:
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/12-WWJD-Si...ht_1034wt_1270

[Rascacielos]

(Original post by S-man10)
Actually, this is quite false, going on to change how you dress -- which is basically about how you present yourself to others -- does help, quite a lot in some cases. People do tend to treat a person differently with how he presents himself. If a guy came up to a group to talk dressed as a slob, then obviously it won't do him any good, but if he takes care to present himself in a more stylish and smart way, then he will be treated differently. Only those rare few will put that person down, which lets be honest are everywhere... and its best to ignore them.

The OP isn't acquiring confidence by buying new clothes, he is stepping out his comfort zone to develop his confidence by looking different.

As for the OP: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1615921

You completely disregarded the second part of my post.

[S-man10]

(Original post by Rascacielos)
You completely disregarded the second part of my post.

That was my point, because you might have experienced it that way and could have possibly gone wrong somewhere, doesn't mean it will happen to everyone. I haven't disregarded it, if you want I could answer it?

[Rascacielos]

(Original post by S-man10)
That was my point, because you might have experienced it that way and could have possibly gone wrong somewhere, doesn't mean it will happen to everyone. I haven't disregarded it, if you want I could answer it?

I wasn't alluding to the part about my experiences. Like I said, or at least was the implication of what I said, buying clothes, getting a new hairstyle or whatever is a way of increasing confidence in yourself but it's not going to magically create a new 'you'. That's something you have to work on yourself because insecurity is not something just founded on appearance. Changing your appearance is only a superficial way of addressing something which goes much deeper.

I was also suggesting that the OP should be changing his appearance for himself, to reflect his own personality, not to reflect what he thinks other people want him to be, because that won't make him any happier either. The mere fact that he posted a thread asking other people what he should wear suggests to me that this is exactly what he is thinking. Being the same as everyone doesn't make you happy if it doesn't reflect who you are.

[S-man10]

(Original post by Rascacielos)
I wasn't alluding to the part about my experiences. Like I said, or at least was the implication of what I said, buying clothes, getting a new hairstyle or whatever is a way of increasing confidence in yourself but it's not going to magically create a new 'you'. That's something you have to work on yourself because insecurity is not something just founded on appearance. Changing your appearance is only a superficial way of addressing something which goes much deeper.

Nothing is magical, but with that being said it does somehow have the effect of increasing or doubling ones confidence and creating a new him. Funny thing is, the person to himself might just be the same old, but to others he has changed and become 'new', which is effectively saying "hey, it is a new me". Insecurity partly comes from appearance and if you aren't going to something effective to fix it, then you can't move on to deeper issues. And why wouldn't you fix it when you are able to...

Changing your appearance isn't a superficial at all, it is in fact a effective trying something new, which is out of your comfort zone. It is all too easy to be who you are and if you keep doing what you have always done, you will keep getting what you have always got.

I was also suggesting that the OP should be changing his appearance for himself, to reflect his own personality, not to reflect what he thinks other people want him to be, because that won't make him any happier either. The mere fact that he posted a thread asking other people what he should wear suggests to me that this is exactly what he is thinking. Being the same as everyone doesn't make you happy if it doesn't reflect who you are.

But here is the thing, what does the it mean to change ones appearance to 'reflect' his personality. It would seem that the OP takes in interest in sport, so does that mean they should walk around town with football shirts and baggy basketball jerseys? What he wears is in fact 'different' to everyone even though it reflects his interest in those two sport, but he isn't exactly happy with it either?

Getting other people to suggest what to wear, how to dress and what to generally look like a is a suitable starting point. It is a good way of figuring out 'you'. You can't really shopping with the idea of buying clothes that 'reflect me'. At best, you have to try on suggestions to see what fits you. The OP I'd saying is changing for himself because he has said he tired of being the same and wants to step out and see and try something different.

[Rascacielos]

(Original post by S-man10)

But here is the thing, what does the it mean to change ones appearance to 'reflect' his personality. It would seem that the OP takes in interest in sport, so does that mean they should walk around town with football shirts and baggy basketball jerseys? What he wears is in fact 'different' to everyone even though it reflects his interest in those two sport, but he isn't exactly happy with it either?

Getting other people to suggest what to wear, how to dress and what to generally look like a is a suitable starting point. It is a good way of figuring out 'you'. You can't really shopping with the idea of buying clothes that 'reflect me'. At best, you have to try on suggestions to see what fits you. The OP I'd saying is changing for himself because he has said he tired of being the same and wants to step out and see and try something different.

It means to dress/style yourself in a way that you are entirely comfortable with. The OP might have an interest in sport but dressing in sporty clothes clearly doesn't make him comfortable - so it doesn't reflect him. All I'm saying is that him asking for ideas on what to wear isn't a bad thing in itself but the impression I get from the OP (and lots of others on TSR) is that he is asking "what should I wear?" rather than "give me some ideas that I can play with." There's no "should" about it, it's what you want, rather than what others want.

[OddThings]

You are a goodlooking guy OP I think personally you go rock the whole surfer look,although that not practicably really in colder weather. Great at the moment however! Well fitting jeans,some nice t shirts,v neck jumpers,converse,a pair of smart shoes,some nice shirts,perhaps a blazer,a hoodie or two,I'm not great with fashion myself,I just pick what I like.Is there anything that catches your eye if you go out shopping OP/or online?

[FelixFelicis]

You have a really nice face. With regards to your hair, I think you should keep it short.

Clothes are tricky..I would start off by buying one or two things that you like, but are a little bit different to your usual attire. Closer to the kind of clothes that you would like to wear or the style that you want to go for. Once you've worn them and feel comfortable in them, you can go and buy a couple more pieces and gradually change your wardrobe. This way, you'll feel comfortable and you won't be self-conscious due to a whole new look.

[Jim_Metrin]

I say you go for the surfer look, i think you could probably pull it off. Weathers pretty good for it now as well? Also go shorter hair since correct me if im wrong people people with oval shaped heads and faces pull of short hair really well? slouching is a huge detractor of confidence it sends out the wrong messages so try stand up right.