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What to do about my brother?

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    I was looking through my brother's phone (not because I was intentionally snooping but rather we were sitting in a room together whilst he played xbox and his phone was there and I was bored and I'm a nosey person anyway) and I found several texts between him and a friend. My mum already has reservations about this friend, she doesn't really trust him. These texts referenced where and when they were going to meet to "roll" and also that my brother didn't want his friend "ripping them off".

    This has pretty much confirmed my suspicions that my brother is taking some sort of drug with these friends of his. I personally have no problem with people smoking weed in moderation, even if I probably won't partake myself, and my brother may be 15 years old and a 6 foot rugby player and more than capable of looking after himself, but he's still my little brother. He obviously trusts me with this stuff because he's told me about what goes on at these parties in the past and he wasn't fussed about me looking at his phone (he's an idiot for not deleting those texts or locking his phone though). He has even asked me for advice about going to parties in the past. I think my major issue here is with his friends- I don't trust them either, I think that they are a pretty bad crowd.

    Given that my mum already has reservations about them, what do I do? Should I tell her? I just feel like I'd be betraying my brother's trust, and the last thing I want to do is end up in a situation where he feels he can't tell me stuff and would start doing things behind my back. At the same time, if something happens whilst he's out with these friends (one of whom I know has wanted to try weed, alcohol and ecstasy together, i.e. he's a plonker) then I will feel so guilty that I didn't do anything.

    Any advice would be much appreciated
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    Have you tried speaking some sense into him?
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    I would definitely start by discussing your concerns with your brother before considering getting your mum involved. It maybe that a casual chat will be enough for him to realise that what he is doing could end up being dangerous. If he doesnt take any notice then speak to your mum.
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    Don't involve your mum if you want to keep your relationship with your brother healthy. Just talk too him about it and tell him you're worried.
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    Keep it between yourselves. Although if you snitched, he'd forgive you, there is no point because regardless of whether your mum lays down the house law, he'll still do what he wants.
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    If you are worried about him, talk to him. Getting your mum involved is unlikely to help and will probably breed resentment in your brother.

    Does he know the dangers of what he's (possibly) doing? Why is he doing it - what is the incentive? If he's going to take drugs, he needs to tools to take them safely and be able to recover from the after effects and consequences of things going wrong.
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    I had the same problem with my sister but it was that one of her friends had sex at the age of 13 of soemthing like that and about drinking. I really wanted to tell my mum but I felt like it was up to my sister to tell her. My parents always had doubts about this friend of hers from the start but in the end I think I didn't tell her I kept dropping hints to my sister asking how the girl was doing and stuff and she eventually told me, we didn't bother telling parents she just drifted away from here
  7. Offline

    (Original post by liv89)
    I would definitely start by discussing your concerns with your brother before considering getting your mum involved. It maybe that a casual chat will be enough for him to realise that what he is doing could end up being dangerous. If he doesnt take any notice then speak to your mum.
    I agree, id do this.

    As some others have said, I'd suggest you discuss it with your brother before telling your mum.
    The worst thing would be destroy your relationship, and then have no idea about what he's up too ...


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Updated: June 8, 2012
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