[Anonymous]

I know it sounds crazy, but I don't know who I am. I don't have any hobbies or interests, I don't have any future career plans. On a more superficial level, I don't know what clothes I like (I wear plain clothes), I have my hair cut all one length and I don't wear make-up. I don't know what I look like. If someone was to ask me what my face shape was or to describe my face (beyond eye colour and skin colour) I wouldn't be able to. I don't even know my hair colour. I look in the mirror and I don't see 17 year old me staring back, I don't recognise myself. At certain angles I'll see someone who looks kinda familar, I recognise the face to looking similar to how I looked when I was 7-11 years old. Beyond that, I don't recognise myself.

It doesn't help that I look different everytime I look in a mirror. Sometimes I look pale, with bags under my eyes and red cheeks. Othertimes I look tanned and healthier. My hair sometimes looks brown, blonde, auburn and even ginger. My eyes go from looking dark to light colours.

I can look at someone and decide how, if I were them, how I'd dress what haircut I'd have and how I'd do make-up and stuff - what would suit their body type, face type, etc. I can't do that with myself, I can never look at myself objectively. I don't even know if I'm ugly, average or pretty.

The only way I know how to define myself is the 'shy' label because that's been pressed onto me from an early age and I've grown to like it because it's one way I can categorise myself but it's beginning to define me now because I don't know any different.

Does anyone have any advice or has anyone been through a similar experience?

[Mutedmirth]

Stop trying to put yourself in a near little box, and be however you feel comfortable with.

Of course you're not going to recognise yourself, you're growing up! Your body and face went through changes and are still changing, if you're not the type to always look in a mirror then you're going to notice those changes moreso then someone who always looks in the mirror also how you look after yourself will reflect differently too. No body looks the same 24/7, they too have some changes.

Maybe you need to sit and write down ideas of what you want to do or what you do already. Do you read? Draw? Write? Watch movies? Like maths? Like solving puzzles? Play games? Like science? Like going outside? Like exercising? Go on forums and chat rooms and what type? If you feel you don't do much, then maybe try some new hobbies and interests, even if you don't think you'll like them, try them.

There's nothing wrong with not knowing what you want to do career wise, but as long as you try different things then that's fine.

Maybe you should just sit in front of a mirror and really look at yourself. Maybe draw yourself. Take in the shape of your eyes, how your hair is kept, the shape of your mouth and nose, does your cheekbones show? Do you have bags under your eyes? Does your nose point up or go down? Do you have lazy eye? Beauty spots? Freckles? Large lips? Double chin? Just look as it sounds like you are not really looking at yourself if you don't know anything besides eye and skin colour. Although trying to pin your hair colour sounds like me trying to pin my eye colour. It's greenish, bluish, greyish with yellow flecks, but not dark enough or green enough to be hazel.

[g_star_raw_1989]

At the least you're over analysing things but at the extreme you might have some sort of body dysmorphia. I would talk to someone.