[Anonymous]

Quite a pressing question really. This a thread really from someone who is pretty fed up with his suburban, year 13 life and wants things to change.

I'll be off to university in September hopefully. I know at the moment that I need it because I'm simply fed up of my school and the people I know; not being able to do and see the things I want to. The boredom of suburban life, the cliquishness of high school.

My first choice university is in a huge city with great night-life. I'm hoping that university will be the point where life begins; meeting new friends, meeting new girls, getting involved in societies ect. I just want to know whether it is up to all the hype; or whether it will just end up being like a script from the in-between like my current sixth form situation is.

My friend said to me today (who is joining the army) that university won't be different, that it will be over hyped; and that is what inspired me to make this thread. So really I just want to know people's experiences of it. I know this probably sounds quite whiny; it isn't. I'll remember my school days fondly but I think that its time to move on.

[*Thedreaming*]

Depends on the uni...talking from experience.

[Perdiccas]

It depends on the person. All university has ever done is offer opportunities. At one time, these were mostly academic, but the modern university experience is about so much more. You can choose to turn up to lectures, choose to join in with societies, choose to go out etc.

It's all out there if you want to experience it ... it's just up to the person how much they want to experience it. Some unis are better than others of course (in terms of the student unions), but if the city has a great night life as you say, then what's to stop you?

[senator88]

It definitely depends on the person. Basically, if your up for making the most of it in every aspect, it definitely ISN'T over-hyped. I was at a sixth form college before Uni so the transition wasn't as great as it would have been as if i had left straight from school...without sounding big-headed or what not I already had a great life (Uni was still amazing!). But I have some friends who left straight from school and for them it was a big change and the best thing ever . And no in my experience it isn't cliquey at all, much much different from school!

[Origami Bullets]

It depends on how great your home life. For those for whom living at home is fantastic, massive circle of friends (particularly when those friends aren't all dispersing around the country to go to uni, as it can make people feel that they're missing out on what's going on at home) and who are generally very happy at home, uni doesn't tend to improve things greatly.

However, those of us who have families that aren't entirely normal, jobs at home that they hate and friends that are all dispersing / have already all dispersed to all corners of the country for uni, uni does tend to improve things.

As Perdiccas says, universities offer you incredible opportunities. But, you do have to get out there and grab those opportunities with both hands - go to lectures, make sure you meet lots of new people, get really involved with a society that you would never normally have considered joining until you saw it at freshers fair, go on nights out . . . grab uni life with both hands and run with it. If you do that, uni life will be the best that it can be for you.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Origami Bullets)
It depends on how great your home life. For those for whom living at home is fantastic, massive circle of friends (particularly when those friends aren't all dispersing around the country to go to uni, as it can make people feel that they're missing out on what's going on at home) and who are generally very happy at home, uni doesn't tend to improve things greatly.

However, those of us who have families that aren't entirely normal, jobs at home that they hate and friends that are all dispersing / have already all dispersed to all corners of the country for uni, uni does tend to improve things.

As Perdiccas says, universities offer you incredible opportunities. But, you do have to get out there and grab those opportunities with both hands - go to lectures, make sure you meet lots of new people, get really involved with a society that you would never normally have considered joining until you saw it at freshers fair, go on nights out . . . grab uni life with both hands and run with it. If you do that, uni life will be the best that it can be for you.

I have about three close friends in school, and then individual friends across both year 12 and 13. So to be honest, the social life is hardly booming, yet that really isn't me. Ultimately once school is out I will never see most people again; there are a lot of people I don't like. I desperately want to go out socialise, and party with loads of people but I don't get the chance. It doesn't help that my birthday is in August.

My home life isn't bad. I'm from a perfectly normal family, yet that's the problem. Its too normal, its so boring, so stifling.

I plan to do all those things at uni; I'll work hard for a first so I can get into Law, I'll go out whenever I can and get involved in societies. What I'm afraid of though is that I'll do all those things and it won't work, it will still be the same and I'll still be an "inbetweener"; when really at heart that isn't me.

[Origami Bullets]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I have about three close friends in school, and then individual friends across both year 12 and 13. So to be honest, the social life is hardly booming, yet that really isn't me. Ultimately once school is out I will never see most people again; there are a lot of people I don't like. I desperately want to go out socialise, and party with loads of people but I don't get the chance. It doesn't help that my birthday is in August.

My home life isn't bad. I'm from a perfectly normal family, yet that's the problem. Its too normal, its so boring, so stifling.

I plan to do all those things at uni; I'll work hard for a first so I can get into Law, I'll go out whenever I can and get involved in societies. What I'm afraid of though is that I'll do all those things and it won't work, it will still be the same and I'll still be an "inbetweener"; when really at heart that isn't me.

Ah, so what you're really asking is "can I become one of the cool kids at uni?"

Unfortunately, the answer is that people don't tend to magically change that sort of thing at uni. However, you get a much bigger cohort from which to choose your friends - I went from having 50 people in my year to 8000. That means that you can always find some likeminded people to be with, and it also means that to some extent people don't really get classified as "popular" / "unpopular" - simply because there's too many to start worrying about! Anyway, I find that people usually have larger social circles and more friends at uni, simply because there are more people there.

And between flatmates, coursemates, society socials, society friends birthdays etc., there's pretty much always an opportunity to go out.

PS my birthday is in January. In exam time. Not ideal.

[Orphan]

It made a massive difference to me. I went from being *****, the girl whose parents were killed to *****, just another fresher. I wasn't being defined or put into a little box based on a singlr event and the sense of freedom it gave me was wonderful.

[Tilly87]

I think if you make an effort you will get an enormous amount out of university. When you arrive as long as you introduce yourself to people and are friendly you will have those people to hang around with for a bit, (I found being in quite a big block in my hall of residence helped with that) then you will meet other people through them and people through your subject. There are loads of freshers events the societies run so you can get to know people that way too. I certainly have much better friends now. If your uni is big the SU will offer literally everything in the way of societies so you'll be spoilt for choice. You can really look forward to it

[indiemusicftw]

For me ...yes they really did.

I went from year 13 with barely anyone i was close to with practically no social life spending my time playing COD.

Fast foward to second year of university and i'm suddenly pretty well known am often asked "how i know everyone" and i almost always have someone to talk to ...albeit the only bit of my life which (has changed but not enough for my liking) is my success with girls though even then girls have liked me for a small time and i am much more sure of myself in regards to issues such as this.

Believe me i admit my change was quite dramatic but all i'm gonna say is ANYONE can make an effort and there life will change for the bettter

[Mrx123]

for me.....they eventually did because I didn't give in and I always tried

[Mr Smurf]

Only if you make the effort.

[canŵio]

you can get a new start in places other than uni... i hope you're going because you want to study a degree! £9,000 a year is a lot to spend on meeting new people...

[Anonymous]

Yes, as long as you put in some effort they do.

I didn't know anyone this time last year. I would literally go to college, not talk to anyone, and then go home in solitude. As you can guess my social life was non existant. I'm finishing first year now and i know so many people its ridiculous. A lot of them are acquaintances but i've found a good group of friends in my halls. You still get a few cliques or groups of bitchy girls but most people are far more willing to meet someone new. Nobody knows about your past and for me at least, that was such a HUGE weight off my shoulders.

I've always been a quiet/shy person but in Freshers i felt able to go talk to and even approach people. Facebook helps with this, and a lot of them i still speak to now. The one thing i did wrong was talk to so many different people, rather than try to get to know one group. So whilst i know more people than most, i didn't find my group of friends until the end of first term.

Just don't expect any quick fixes. I've obviously had quite a few issues socialising after being in solitude for so long, but i'm getting things in order now. The only thing that hasn't changed is my luck with the opposite sex but i think that is down to being shy and not good looking. I'd love nothing more than to meet a nice girl and start a relationship but in the mean time i am making up for years of missed socialising.

[mimx]

There are still cliques and closed groups at uni, but the main benefit is that there are more people and so you're more likely to find someone or a group of people that you can gel with. If you're lucky you found that in school, but some people don't.

[Antifazian]

It really does come down to you, if you're willing to put the effort in to meet new people and take advantage of all the opportunities then you can make your life at uni really good.

However, be realistic about it otherwise you will be disappointed.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by canŵio)
you can get a new start in places other than uni... i hope you're going because you want to study a degree! £9,000 a year is a lot to spend on meeting new people...

Oh of course you are right. I want to go to university to study hard and achieve in a subject that I love. But it is much more than that to me.

£9000 is the price of freedom; a price worth paying

[pgbow]

it's as different as you make it to be.

university isnt like high school. nothing's compulsory. you wouldnt be forced to go on some mandatory historical field trip if you dont want to. it also has a much larger mix of students of different nationalities, and many more societies which cater to different hobbies, academic interests or career interests.

so it's up to you to make your uni life how you've always envisioned it to be. after school, u can head home and just stick with your old hobbies such as playing video games, clubbing, or are you going to try out new activities (e.g. rock climbing, visiting new places, etc) and meet new people? are you going to stick to your small group of friends from high school, or are you goin to step out of your comfort zone and speak to different people, possibly of different nationalities?
coming from a suburban area, uni life in a big city can be great fun if you know how to take advantage of all the opportunites

[hannahchan]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes, as long as you put in some effort they do.

I didn't know anyone this time last year. I would literally go to college, not talk to anyone, and then go home in solitude. As you can guess my social life was non existant. I'm finishing first year now and i know so many people its ridiculous. A lot of them are acquaintances but i've found a good group of friends in my halls. You still get a few cliques or groups of bitchy girls but most people are far more willing to meet someone new. Nobody knows about your past and for me at least, that was such a HUGE weight off my shoulders.

I've always been a quiet/shy person but in Freshers i felt able to go talk to and even approach people. Facebook helps with this, and a lot of them i still speak to now. The one thing i did wrong was talk to so many different people, rather than try to get to know one group. So whilst i know more people than most, i didn't find my group of friends until the end of first term.

Just don't expect any quick fixes. I've obviously had quite a few issues socialising after being in solitude for so long, but i'm getting things in order now. The only thing that hasn't changed is my luck with the opposite sex but i think that is down to being shy and not good looking. I'd love nothing more than to meet a nice girl and start a relationship but in the mean time i am making up for years of missed socialising.

Sounds like me *first part*. Hmm.. do you think it matters if your in halls or you stay at home? Is it still possible to interact with people if you don't actually stay at the uni?

[gagaslilmonsteruk]

Yeah I have many more friends. School was far from enjoyable, and like you I do have my doubts. I wouldn't say I throw myself into every society going or go out partying every night, but I do enjoy going out with friends and meeting new people. Back home my classmates did not like me much, I NEVER go out clubbing, I never got invited to many events by classmates at all - though I do have many friends from outside of school. University is different in that aspect. Just learn to get along with people and find that group you 'click with'. From my area I know about 4 or 5 people in my year at my university (we're civil, but not best of friends), most of whom were at my school. Best of luck with what you choose to do