[Anonymous]

I have a friend, let's call her A. She lives in Paris now, I in London. I see her rarely, when I'm in town, otherwise we speak sometimes through facebook. She's not my soulmate, more of a girl I go lunching or partying with, but nevertheless I like her and want to keep her as a friend.

She was 'sort of' dating a guy called M for a brief period of time. It was right after she broke up with her fiance, I'm guessing he was a bit of a rebound. They were friends before, and slept together once or twice. They're still in touch, but the affair ended with her being angry with him, so they are definitely not so close anymore. He's in his thirties, divorced with a child. He travels a lot with work and now lives in Geneva.

This guy contacted me for the first time right after their affair ended (through fb), when we were all living in the same city. He had some of her stuff at his place, she refused to speak to him, said he knew we were friends and asked if I could take her stuff to give it to her. He was a stranger to me then, all I knew was that he'd hurt her, and I thought it was a really strange request (to come to my private flat and dump her stuff there) so I politely declined.
He was friendly enough when I said no, and he explained the situation to me (I think their fight was a misunderstanding, but still a weird one, I nevertheless understand A ending it with him). We've been speaking a bit on fb, he writes to me a lot. I met him once on a night out as he was one of the organizers. He's a bit of a networker, so I know he knows a lot of attractive girls as friends only.
When he writes to me, the conversation is not flirtatious, although I have sometimes wondered if he's interested, as he's made jokey comments ("when you're 30 you'll be perfect for me!)".
I am not interested in him romantically, and even if I was, I'd never date someone a friend has been with, even if it was a brief thing. He probably knows this as I've had the chance to see him but not made it a priority. I've also talked to him about guys I've dated.
However on an exotic trip he made last year, he told me he got me a pair of earrings. Not expensive ones, more like 'locally made' souvenirs. He tried to send them to me, but the package was returned as I was away on holiday and couldn't sign for it. He hasn't had the occasion to give them to me, and last time he wrote "should I give them to A so she can give them to you? "
The smiley in the end implied that it would be weird/inappropriate. it shouldn't be - there is nothing between us. Secondly, there is no reason for him to give them to her, I don't see A more often than he does. I wonder if he wants to mention betting me a gift to A to make her jealous, if he hasn't already.

Now I'm thinking I want to mention it to A in case he has already, and just assure her there is nothing between us. She's not the jealous type, but you never know. If she gets the feeling I've hid something from her, that'll be worse. But if he hasn't said anything, I don't want it to seem like I mention it to make her jealous or whatever. I know how stories change from person to person. He decided to get me a gift, even though we barely know each other and I have done nothing to 'inspire' him. He might think of us as friends only, but it may not seem that way to the outside. I know A doesn't trust him anyway.
I'm probably over-thinking this, but i want to drop her a message. How do you suggest I say it, carefully?

[foolscap]

I think this guy is 'testing the water' so to speak, to see if you'd be interested in him. As your not, simply laugh any jokes off and don't flirt back and then he'll get the idea.
As for messaging A, just be honest and explain your situation, you haven't done anything wrong, the only problem is that she might go mad at M who might then get mad at you.....
It's a tough one I can see, personally I wouldn't send A a message as you don't plan to do anything with M, but it's your choice, there's no way to sugar coat it if you do talk to her, so say it like it is.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by foolscap)
I think this guy is 'testing the water' so to speak, to see if you'd be interested in him. As your not, simply laugh any jokes off and don't flirt back and then he'll get the idea.
As for messaging A, just be honest and explain your situation, you haven't done anything wrong, the only problem is that she might go mad at M who might then get mad at you.....
It's a tough one I can see, personally I wouldn't send A a message as you don't plan to do anything with M, but it's your choice, there's no way to sugar coat it if you do talk to her, so say it like it is.

I think I will mention how he's been strange and possibly is still interested in her in my next message.. if she seems very curious, I might say more, but not unnecessarily.
Keeping my friendship with M is not extremely important to me...

[foolscap]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I think I will mention how he's been strange and possibly is still interested in her in my next message.. if she seems very curious, I might say more, but not unnecessarily.
Keeping my friendship with M is not extremely important to me...

In which case you should just tell A about M's behaviour but in a fairly casual way, you don't want to kick up a fuss, good luck