[Anonymous]

Hello

I'm extremely frustrated and confused on what to do in this situation, let me try and give a quick over view.

I'm currently studying and living at home with my mother, I find her very controlling and I can't take it anymore... I cannot make myself some toast without her moaning that I've got a few bread crumbs over the side, I cannot take a shower without her having a go telling me I should shower at 6am and not later at night. If the shower glass panel has a bit of water up it, she'll have a go because I didn't "clean" it properly, they're just water marks, I always clean the shower!

I cannot live my life properly as im not ALLOWED to cook in HER house, I have to conform to her meals times or eat out. I'm perfectly able to cook if I need to, she just doesn't like anyone using her kitchen :/

If i need an item of clothing washed, I have to wait DAYS for her to do it as i'm not allowed to wash my own clothes (even if i offer to pay the supplements for the extra products i'd use) She has severe OCD i think and major depression, I suffer from mild depression as it is and I think she just mentally wears me down, she is not a physical abused and hasn't been apart from the spankings you get in child hood, she isn't bad at all, but I cannot live my life like this, I need independence.

I'm 20 years old, I have Aspergers and I currently claim Employment Support Allowance, this goes directly into my personal bank and I use it for things like transport, going out, buying everything I need for myself (As i'd expect I should at my age)

My mother gets £67 a week as she has the "power of attorney" over me, this is Disability Living Allowance. £18.95 from mobility and £47.80 from care a week.

I'm not sure what else she gets for me, I don't think anything. As with my ESA + DLA I'd get £167 a week, which is enough to live on including rent.

The £67 a week she gets for me she keeps as this is what I pay her in rent and food, she says.

I want to move out and I've found places for £60 a week including bills, leaving enough left to buy my own things still, as well as purchasing my own food as well.

Problem is, I don't know how to go about doing this. Will I still be entitled to disability living allowance if I move out, how hard is it to change everything to my name so I am controlling my own life?

Am I entitled to Income support.

If I move out, will I be able to get Housing Benefit?

I have no idea about the benefits system, I've spent 2 years being worked to this point so I don't think this decision is being rushed into. Any help on the system would be great, thanks.

[Origami Bullets]

Power of Attorney is a tricky one, and I've only ever come across its use when the person in question is elderly and deteriorating. Very few people here will have experience of it (although we have / had it over my grandparents, we never actually invoked it, and it was done with their full agreement, so we never actually had to deal with removing it).

Because your case is quite complicated, I'd suggest going to see the Citizens Advice Bureau about what can be done to shift the benefits into your name.

If you move out, then my understanding is that you will be able to get HB, along with council tax benefit. However, you will only be entitled to HB for a houseshare / bedsit, and that is the case until you are 25.

This is quite a useful website with regards to what benefits you are entitled to http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/benefits-check

[fire2burn]

As above Citizens Advice Bureau are probably the best people to get in contact with, alternatively the National Autistic Society may be worth contacting as they provide advice and support to those with Asperger syndrome on issues such as entitlement to benefits such as DLA and Housing.

[Morgsie]

I have Aspergers and on Benefits. ESA is Income Support, ESA has replaced IS. If your on ESA then you should Housing Benefit.

Join the Aspergers Society.

[Anonymous]

Thank you all for the responses, I'll be sure to check and ring places tomorrow to try and get some help.

How does the initial process work, will they start giving me housing benefits before I move into the new place (say a week before?). Also, the DLA my mother currently gets (thats for me), am I still entitled to that as a lone adult whos moved out?

Morgsie, what benefits do you currently get and what is your living arrangements if you dont mind my asking. I see you live in Stoke-on-Trent, me too... so you could be a big help as you have been through it yourself?

Thanks for clearing up that ESA is our IS.

(Original post by Origami Bullets)
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(Original post by fire2burn)
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(Original post by Morgsie)
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[Morgsie]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you all for the responses, I'll be sure to check and ring places tomorrow to try and get some help.

How does the initial process work, will they start giving me housing benefits before I move into the new place (say a week before?). Also, the DLA my mother currently gets (thats for me), am I still entitled to that as a lone adult whos moved out?

Morgsie, what benefits do you currently get and what is your living arrangements if you dont mind my asking. I see you live in Stoke-on-Trent, me too... so you could be a big help as you have been through it yourself?

Thanks for clearing up that ESA is our IS.

Hi,

I have been through something similar.

My mother was claiming DLA after I was 16. I moved out about 6 years ago and transferred DLA into my name. I am not sure about the power of attorney and you moving out. Yes you should continue receiving DLA but the power of attorney thing makes it complicated.

Housing Benefits are normally paid to the Landlord from the date you moved in.

I was a University student and had professionals involved. I am currently living in a flat and I get DLA, Housing Benefit and ESA. I was on Income Support which was transferred to ESA because it has replaced it.

Do you have a Professional (Social Worker CPN etc) involved?
If so, discuss this with them and they should do some stuff.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Morgsie)
Hi,

I have been through something similar.

My mother was claiming DLA after I was 16. I moved out about 6 years ago and transferred DLA into my name. I am not sure about the power of attorney and you moving out. Yes you should continue receiving DLA but the power of attorney thing makes it complicated.

Housing Benefits are normally paid to the Landlord from the date you moved in.

I was a University student and had professionals involved. I am currently living in a flat and I get DLA, Housing Benefit and ESA. I was on Income Support which was transferred to ESA because it has replaced it.

Do you have a Professional (Social Worker CPN etc) involved?
If so, discuss this with them and they should do some stuff.

So I can still get the DLA benefit living by myself in a bed share house? I'm currently in college (returning to education access course) but will be in Uni next year, which will most likely take me down south.

Power of attorney shouldn't be an issue, I've not even consulted my mother yet as I want advice from this forum, to which I'm going up town for advice from CAB tomorrow as well. My mother knows I would of been moving out next year anyway for Uni and had no issues with it.

The only thing I personally get into my bank is ESA, because I live with my mother I don't get housing benefits and the DLA goes to her, but I want it going to me so I can start the process of moving out.

I just want things set in motion before I consult my mother about moving out, as if I go to her stating I've found advice and started the ball on moving out, she will take me seriously compared to her not taking me seriously if I just said "I want to move out".

I do not have a professional social worker, never have but it's something I'm interested in for this process, I assume the CAB can set me up with that too?

Thanks for your help and advice so far, really appreciate it.

[Origami Bullets]

(Original post by Anonymous)
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I'd suggest posting on this forum
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/...play.php?f=155

It's a board full of people who know all about disability-related benefits - they know more about this than most of us here do

[OU Student]

Because you receive mid rate care, you're entitled to the one room rate. DLA isn't affected if you move out.

[ebird33]

Hi,

Firstly the poa is the stopping stone. You need to cancel it, I think (as far as I'm aware) If you can get to a family law solicitor then they can cancel it for you as long as you understand what it means, it'll mean you are responsible for yourself. They should also help you with regards to claiming dla in your own name. I'm not sure how your mums got it for u unless she's claimed on your behalf.

With regards to uni, would you be living in halls? Just be open about your needs, you'll find many people willing to help you onto your feet. I did it and they helped me and helped me into uni. Good luck xxx

Secondly, do u have a support worker or social worker? If not - get one!!!! Social worker will be found in your town but you'll find the details of social services in the phone book. Ring and ask for them to come meet u away from your house. They should help also.