Still A Virgin At 25 - Time For An Escort??
(Original post by Nutty_Psychologist)
Wow. No I have not but I wouldn't judge anyone before I'd met them?
A lot of people I know have found success (male and female)
I'm not sure about deeming a lot of women on these sites as having mental health problems thats a bit strong really, a lot of people use them
Surely it's worth a try?
They think they deserve a tall, mega rich articulated guy who would fulfill all their materialistic desires while the girls themselves have nothing to offer.
OP the first thing to do is sort yourself out and become completely happy with yourself. I've been to therapy for two years and im nowhere near gaining any self worth. Whenever i go out i get a lot of female attention but i hate myself so i don't act on it. Losing your V plates to a prostitute will not change how you feel about yourself. It honestly wont. Ignore any lowlifes offering advice on how to get in touch with them. If anything it will demoralize you and make you feel like utter garbage. As soon as you're content with who you are as a person then you'll be able to lose your v plates and feel great about it.
Definetly give the therapy a go and possibly the meds but beware of the side effects they aren't pleasant and neither are the withdrawal effects. The therapist i have now is really good. She usually charges £40 and hour but i get it provided for free by my uni.
Sex is overrated
You dont feel any different or more grown up afterwards
It feels good
Thats about it.
Sex isnt a big deal. You take this either way:
It isnt a big deal so theres no worry in rushing to lose it
It isnt a big deal so mayu aswell just fhuck
Losing virginity is only special to women
(Original post by Anonymous)
Right guys I'm a bit embaressed talking about this but I feel I have to because it bothers me an awful lot.
I don't go out an awful lot, infact at all. I suffered from a lot of social problems when I was younger, I was so painfully shy around 16-22 that it hindered my ability to make friends, particularly at university. I never made the effort to try to address it so all I did was become a social recluse.
I recently did badly in my postgraduate exams (telecommunications msc) and attempted suicide, my brother returned from class early to prevent me however. I feel such a massive failure both socially and academically, and for the first time in my life I've decided to seek councilling to solve this, been to a gp and on anti-depressants. I've been requested for long term therapy, because they believe it might take me a long time to sort me out as its gone on for so long.
I feel such a massive failure both socially and academically. I feel tired of being me/failure and thus questioned whether or not I want to live anymore because the pain is becoming too great (hence why I was suicidal at that time).
One of the things that bothers me is that I've never had a girlfriend (not suprising), and that I'm still a virgin. Now this isn't because of the way I look, heck I could look like brad pitt/tom cruise and would still be a virgin because I'm such a social recluse and chose to be this way.
I'm quite a fit guy, go to the gym regularly, healthy, no appearance problems, but I don't make friends easily.
I recognise that while I could get better with therapy/councilling, I realise that being a virgin over the age of 25 is big drawback in society and is off putting to a lot of women when dating. I don't want to be going into my 30s being a virgin as it would be impossible to get a girlfriend. So I need to do something about it.
I'm not going to become a social king overnight so in the meantime I've considered potentially going down the very sad sad desperate route of doing it with an escort. But I feel I have no choice because of my age. I need the experiance and you're first time is never that great so the escort wont care and will probably teach me.
Its sound pathetic and desperate, but that's the way my life is at moment. Very down about it. Is this the best way at my age to address my "v-card" issue?? Or should I just wait and see if the therapy helps me first and do it in time when I'm ready??
I feel massively under pressure tbh.
Honestly bud, breaking your virginity is suppose to be with someone that you love!
think about hway you will acheive from breaking your virginity? Im sure you will find someone that you love and shre your love with just need to work harder (pardon the pun (if that is a pun) )
What's with the dating websites. Go and embrace life... You wanna meet women? Go to a bar, oldstyle.
I think your focusing on the wrong thing here. While its easy to pin all your problems on a lack of GF/sex I really don't think losing you virginity is going to solve any of your problems. Being a virgin really isn't a problem. It isn't going to come up in a conversation if you don't want it to and most people won't care anyway. Getting a GF from your own qualities is going to be much more beneficial for your confidence than an escort.
Being a virgin at 25 is not really ok, people need to stop selling the OP a crock of ****, it won't help him.
No male wants to be a virgin at that age, if you are, it's a symptom of a deeper problem, which you recognise is not to do with your looks but your lifestyle. This can be changed over time, but whatever happens, you really need to understand that there is yet more to life that this, and under no circumstances should you think your situation warrants a self-inflicted death penalty. It absolutely does not. Even if you never have sex - which would be unfortunate - you have a large chunk of life's pleasures remaining, why lose out on the rest of it?
It doesn't matter if your a virgin at 25.
I'm not sure how many girls actually ask if your a virgin, no girl has ever asked me if i'm a virgin on a date. The question just doesn't normally arrive on a first date.
If your that worried about it just tell people that your not . Normal people won't really look into it much tbh.
I think you should hang out with your brothers friends or try and make more of an effort to socialise with people. The class room is a good place to start or a club (try and make some friends at the gym)
Being a virgin at the age may be a symptom of larger problems however it itself isn't a problem unless he himself decides to make it one. You may feel the requirement to fit in with societies views on having sex but that doesn't mean other do or should. The OP shouldn't feel the need to have sex simply because he feels others expect him to- it is his life and he should live it for himself.
how do all these people rolling out the ol' 'you'll meet someone eventually' cliché, know that he will actually meet someone eventually? This is the kind of b.s that comes from the type that bounces from one relationship to the next, is hardly ever single, and just cannot comprehend how anyone can spend huge portions of their life not in a relationship with anyone.
I'm feeling particularly cynical today op, so i say get an escort. Life's too short. And you can't rely on such nonsense as 'it'll happen eventually'.
As a female, personally I wouldn't be put off by someone who was inexperienced. I would definitely say don't have sex with an escort just to lose your virginity, because if anything, you'll probably end up feeling worse about yourself and won't even enjoy it.
This may sound lame, but I believe virginity is nothing to be ashamed of. I would deeply respect any man that told me he was still a virgin and that he was proud of that fact. And plus, you can't have any STI's :P
Just try to be more social, I myself used to be extremely shy. Go out and make yourself take part in social situations, even if it makes you uncomfortable! If you find a girl who is right for you, she will understand and respect you.
I'd rather sleep with a virgin (honestly, me and my female flatmates had a discussion about this recently, and about half said that they'd like to take a guy's virginity, and the other half were fairly neutral about it) than someone who has used a prostitute (MASSIVE turnoff).
You can see where your problems lie - not going out and meeting people. I genuinely think, however, that if you go and see your GP and access counselling, then you will feel more able to go out and socialise. At that point, you could choose to meet people through a local sports club, hiking club, volunteering, shared interest group or similar. And make sure that you go out on all the works socials if you have a job. That will boost your confidence, and bring you into contact with lots of different people. Eventually, it will happen
And as one of the previous posters said - losing your virginity is only something that seems important before you lose it - afterwards, it really doesn't seem like a big deal at all.
it was time for one 7 years ago
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vP7YAshTCA <-- OP listen to this! Honestly, its a great thing that your still a virgin and thats something I greatly respect in someone. I wish there were more people who would be willing to wait until marriage etc. Its a fantastic quality.
Everything might be getting on top of you now, but once your anti depressants kick in, and the counselling starts to pick everything apart, you will find everything slots into place.
Time, patience, and resilience.
Don't feel pressured to conform to what is deemed as normal by society.
You're fine, take it easy. Just try to be socialise more often, get yourself known, practise it.