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Still A Virgin At 25 - Time For An Escort??

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    (Original post by bloomblaze)
    Interesting post.

    What do you mean by 'a persons metal'?
    Inner strength. As in "he's made of strong stuff" "yeah, what a guy"

    Although in the sense i was using it i guess also more general quality of a person.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Right guys I'm a bit embaressed talking about this but I feel I have to because it bothers me an awful lot.

    I don't go out an awful lot, infact at all. I suffered from a lot of social problems when I was younger, I was so painfully shy around 16-22 that it hindered my ability to make friends, particularly at university. I never made the effort to try to address it so all I did was become a social recluse.

    I recently did badly in my postgraduate exams (telecommunications msc) and attempted suicide, my brother returned from class early to prevent me however. I feel such a massive failure both socially and academically, and for the first time in my life I've decided to seek councilling to solve this, been to a gp and on anti-depressants. I've been requested for long term therapy, because they believe it might take me a long time to sort me out as its gone on for so long.

    I feel such a massive failure both socially and academically. I feel tired of being me/failure and thus questioned whether or not I want to live anymore because the pain is becoming too great (hence why I was suicidal at that time).

    One of the things that bothers me is that I've never had a girlfriend (not suprising), and that I'm still a virgin. Now this isn't because of the way I look, heck I could look like brad pitt/tom cruise and would still be a virgin because I'm such a social recluse and chose to be this way.

    I'm quite a fit guy, go to the gym regularly, healthy, no appearance problems, but I don't make friends easily.

    I recognise that while I could get better with therapy/councilling, I realise that being a virgin over the age of 25 is big drawback in society and is off putting to a lot of women when dating. I don't want to be going into my 30s being a virgin as it would be impossible to get a girlfriend. So I need to do something about it.

    I'm not going to become a social king overnight so in the meantime I've considered potentially going down the very sad sad desperate route of doing it with an escort. But I feel I have no choice because of my age. I need the experiance and you're first time is never that great so the escort wont care and will probably teach me.

    Its sound pathetic and desperate, but that's the way my life is at moment. Very down about it. Is this the best way at my age to address my "v-card" issue?? Or should I just wait and see if the therapy helps me first and do it in time when I'm ready??

    I feel massively under pressure tbh.
    Honestly save it , theres nothing wrong with you if you still have it at 25 i've kept mine doesnt bother me i;ll just look to find the right guy and it'll be much more meaningful and special when it does. Right now focus on looking after yourself discovering ways of bettering things for yourself and piecing everything back together . It'll all work out naturally and love might just take you by suprise, Im sure your a lovely guy who just needs a friend who listens and cares x

    Take care
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    (Original post by green.tea)
    Rubbish. Slappers might not like it but people interested in the long term wont mind. Some will see an opportunity to mold you to what they like. Some will like the idea of being your only love. Is romance totally alien to people in this thread?

    You know a persons ability to bounce back from adversity is a pretty good criteria by which to judge a persons metal. Far more so than how a person reacts to things going right all the time and far far more than how often people get their ends away.
    What do you mean by "slappers"? :confused:

    How are you going to get anyone interested in your for the long term if they aren't even interested in you for the short term? I think you have a strange conception of how real life relationships work.

    Simple human psychology is that people are attracted to attractive traits. Sexual ineptness is not usually one of them. Sexual relations being the basis of why and how we choose our partners.

    Most girls will determine your value on how successful you are with relationships, having the experience of a virgin is not going to be much help.
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    No, I think you should see if the councilling etc works out, because you will regret going for an escort.
    You will get so much more pleasure from getting something out of this, and getting yourself a girl.
    Sex will be a lot better when feelings are involved and you truly having feelings for the girl.

    You know there is a problem, and you are trying to sort it. That is more than a lot of people do man.

    Stay here and get it sorted
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    (Original post by Stefan1991)
    What do you mean by "slappers"? :confused:

    How are you going to get anyone interested in your for the long term if they aren't even interested in you for the short term? I think you have a strange conception of how real life relationships work.

    Simple human psychology is that people are attracted to attractive traits. Sexual ineptness is not usually one of them. Sexual relations being the basis of why and how we choose our partners.

    Most girls will determine your value on how successful you are with relationships, having the experience of a virgin is not going to be much help.
    Not everyone is interested just in sex. When I meet a guy I like I don't think to myself " He better be amazing in bed otherwise it's going nowhere". If I found out a guy I was dating was a virgin, I honestly would not care. I would just see it as a chance to be able to teach him how to pleasure me. The only time I would care is if I just wanted a one night stand from him or a purely sexual relationship, because I wouldn't want to spend time having to teach him things.

    Saying that, I've been with guys who are very experienced and they were crap in bed, very selfish and rough, so having lots of experience does not mean you will automatically be great in bed. Plus guys who are experienced (and girls) can often get used to certain ways of doing things and get offended when that doesn't work for you and you want them to do it in a different way. A virgin would probably take direction a lot better and not be stuck in their ways. So there may even be advantages to a guy not having a lot of experience.

    But strictly speaking, as a girl, if I really liked a guy I would not care. I would care more about him using escorts, that's a big turn off for me.
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    (Original post by Stefan1991)
    Simple human psychology is that people are attracted to attractive traits. Sexual ineptness is not usually one of them. Sexual relations being the basis of why and how we choose our partners.
    Last time I checked we didn't all have our level of sexual experience tattooed across our foreheads. If you've reached the stage in a relationship where you and your partner are having sex chances are that you've gotten to know each other and find each other worth being with, a girl who rejects you because you're a virgin isn't worth your time in my opinion.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Right guys I'm a bit embaressed talking about this but I feel I have to because it bothers me an awful lot.

    I don't go out an awful lot, infact at all. I suffered from a lot of social problems when I was younger, I was so painfully shy around 16-22 that it hindered my ability to make friends, particularly at university. I never made the effort to try to address it so all I did was become a social recluse.

    I recently did badly in my postgraduate exams (telecommunications msc) and attempted suicide, my brother returned from class early to prevent me however. I feel such a massive failure both socially and academically, and for the first time in my life I've decided to seek councilling to solve this, been to a gp and on anti-depressants. I've been requested for long term therapy, because they believe it might take me a long time to sort me out as its gone on for so long.

    I feel such a massive failure both socially and academically. I feel tired of being me/failure and thus questioned whether or not I want to live anymore because the pain is becoming too great (hence why I was suicidal at that time).

    One of the things that bothers me is that I've never had a girlfriend (not suprising), and that I'm still a virgin. Now this isn't because of the way I look, heck I could look like brad pitt/tom cruise and would still be a virgin because I'm such a social recluse and chose to be this way.

    I'm quite a fit guy, go to the gym regularly, healthy, no appearance problems, but I don't make friends easily.

    I recognise that while I could get better with therapy/councilling, I realise that being a virgin over the age of 25 is big drawback in society and is off putting to a lot of women when dating. I don't want to be going into my 30s being a virgin as it would be impossible to get a girlfriend. So I need to do something about it.

    I'm not going to become a social king overnight so in the meantime I've considered potentially going down the very sad sad desperate route of doing it with an escort. But I feel I have no choice because of my age. I need the experiance and you're first time is never that great so the escort wont care and will probably teach me.

    Its sound pathetic and desperate, but that's the way my life is at moment. Very down about it. Is this the best way at my age to address my "v-card" issue?? Or should I just wait and see if the therapy helps me first and do it in time when I'm ready??

    I feel massively under pressure tbh.
    chin up honey! there's nothing wrong with being a virgin - the right girl will come and some girls are vs too don't let sex get you down! Because you'll feel worse when you do it with someone you don't love, you're not alone either, my best friend is 24 and he's a v! X
    #6

    I lost my virginity to an escort at 17. I was drunk out of my mind so I dont really remember the experience clearly.

    Well for starters, the escort told me that my 10 minutes are up and I need to quickly take my shot and gtfo. That wasn't nice to hear. And also after 3 minutes into it she asked me if I was 18, I looked 12 so I don't really blame her for asking that. These are the thoughts I'm gona carry for the rest of my life so thats kinda meh.

    After doing it, I was pretty happy about my performance of lasting more than 10 minutes considering it was my first time, I thought if I had more time I could go on for another 10-20 minutes, I felt like Johnny Sins. So after a couple of weeks I thought I'd take another shot, this time sober and I last for less that 2 minutes. So alcohol was the cause of my impaired functioning. So I suggest do it while drunk.

    I say go for it. The good thing is, you would bang a really hot girl and form no attachment to her. Considering your situation you probably will get strong feelings for the girl/guy that you do with for the first time. That may not be a good thing. Escorts aren't that bad, go for it. The only downside is that you might get herpes or something and that'll **** up your life, but don't worry about that.
    #6

    I say go for it. I lost my virginity at 17 to an escort. It wasn't that bad.

    The downside are you don't get to do it with a 'special one'. The whole right girl will come along is bs. You'll form strong feelings for her and if she leaves you, then you'r going to be feeling a lot worse than this imo.

    The good thing is you get to do it with a really hot girl and you won't have any attachments to her because you would know she's gona blow another guy after you. So Thats a win win situation.

    Just don't do it drunk, yeah you'd last 10 min+ and feel like johnny sins but end of the day you won't really remember much.

    All I remember is the escort telling me to quickly take my shot and gtfo because my time was up, so that wasn't nice to hear. And also if I was 18 or not, I don't really blame her for asking that since I looked 12 back then. Oh try not to get herpes or something cos then you'r just screwed but still go for it.
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    If I'm being honest with you guys part of the reason why I was originally suicidal (I better be careful about this because I don't want my post blocked) was because I felt I had no purpose to live anymore.

    I thought to myself even as young as 18 that I had no purpose to live as I will never get a girlfriend, and will never have friends, so keeping me alive in this unhappy state would be selfish. I planned initially to get a 1st class honours and go out with a bang (and then kill myself) and die with some sort of pride.

    I'm 25 and done my degree, but I only got a 2.2 (well you would do if you're life prospects/outlook in life were as dim as mine, so my depression was the reason for my lack of motivation), I due to recieve a telecommunications masters (merit) however.

    You see the thing is I've done my degree now so have nothing to live for. I've been considering putting myself out of my misery in say 6-12 months time if things do not improve. I will never have a girlfriend, as I am too old now, and will never have any friends so as I say have nothing to live for and have a no quality of life.

    I'm not initially suicidal (so please do not take this a suicidal post) but have prospects of planning it at some point in my life, for well 5-6 years now as I have served my purpose.

    Think about like a tennis player (watching wimbledon right now) I would have my tennis career, win as many majors as possible or whatever, and then kill myself afterwards at 33 something, as I have nothing to live for/served my purpose. I suck at socialising, and will never have a girlfriend and living becomes too painful. I'm just not very good at this side of life and have an obligation not to live it. But at least I would go out with a bang winning some majors or something say.

    This has been the crux of my thinking for some years now, get the degree and then go. But now obviously I'm having councilling etc. Whether that will work is another thing. I have to be able to serve a purpose in order to want to live.
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    You must have hobbies, etc that are worth living for? Why you think it's "too late" I don't understand. I will be in your position soon more than likely, it certainly wouldn't bother me at all! Some people just didn't get a chance to learn to interact with females, like if they went to an all boys school or something, it's not our fault.
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    (Original post by Sharpshooter)
    If I'm being honest with you guys part of the reason why I was originally suicidal (I better be careful about this because I don't want my post blocked) was because I felt I had no purpose to live anymore.

    I thought to myself even as young as 18 that I had no purpose to live as I will never get a girlfriend, and will never have friends, so keeping me alive in this unhappy state would be selfish. I planned initially to get a 1st class honours and go out with a bang (and then kill myself) and die with some sort of pride.

    I'm 25 and done my degree, but I only got a 2.2 (well you would do if you're life prospects/outlook in life were as dim as mine, so my depression was the reason for my lack of motivation), I due to recieve a telecommunications masters (merit) however.

    You see the thing is I've done my degree now so have nothing to live for. I've been considering putting myself out of my misery in say 6-12 months time if things do not improve. I will never have a girlfriend, as I am too old now, and will never have any friends so as I say have nothing to live for and have a no quality of life.

    I'm not initially suicidal (so please do not take this a suicidal post) but have prospects of planning it at some point in my life, for well 5-6 years now as I have served my purpose.

    Think about like a tennis player (watching wimbledon right now) I would have my tennis career, win as many majors as possible or whatever, and then kill myself afterwards at 33 something, as I have nothing to live for/served my purpose. I suck at socialising, and will never have a girlfriend and living becomes too painful. I'm just not very good at this side of life and have an obligation not to live it. But at least I would go out with a bang winning some majors or something say.

    This has been the crux of my thinking for some years now, get the degree and then go. But now obviously I'm having councilling etc. Whether that will work is another thing. I have to be able to serve a purpose in order to want to live.

    You're too old to have a girlfriend at 25? :lolwut:
    You definitely have a distorted view of life.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I lost my virginity to an escort at 17. I was drunk out of my mind so I dont really remember the experience clearly.

    Well for starters, the escort told me that my 10 minutes are up and I need to quickly take my shot and gtfo. That wasn't nice to hear. And also after 3 minutes into it she asked me if I was 18, I looked 12 so I don't really blame her for asking that. These are the thoughts I'm gona carry for the rest of my life so thats kinda meh.

    After doing it, I was pretty happy about my performance of lasting more than 10 minutes considering it was my first time, I thought if I had more time I could go on for another 10-20 minutes, I felt like Johnny Sins. So after a couple of weeks I thought I'd take another shot, this time sober and I last for less that 2 minutes. So alcohol was the cause of my impaired functioning. So I suggest do it while drunk.

    I say go for it. The good thing is, you would bang a really hot girl and form no attachment to her. Considering your situation you probably will get strong feelings for the girl/guy that you do with for the first time. That may not be a good thing. Escorts aren't that bad, go for it. The only downside is that you might get herpes or something and that'll **** up your life, but don't worry about that.
    :lolwut:
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    mate lost mine with a brazilean escort at 18 yo, was alright but nothing speacial, and getting up and leaving her flat and on to the cold london streets at 12am on a cold winter night to catch a night bus home..well I felt kinda sad. Considering that you have had emotional/social problems I would say to not to do it with an escort. It will happen eventually and when it does happen to you, i think it will be a unique experience for you because you have suffered alot growing up so when you finally pop a cherry it will be like 'I have come a long way' and boost your confidence more than doing it with an escort. If i coul describe my experience with an escorty it would simply be 'un-natural' Just keep that in mind pal
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    (Original post by XXchachaXX)
    You're too old to have a girlfriend at 25? :lolwut:
    You definitely have a distorted view of life.
    Eh no too old in that I've never had a girlfriend before and so feel I will never get one because it will be deemed weird not to have a girlfriend by 25/30 etc. I know the vast majority of women do not like inexperianced men.
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    (Original post by Sharpshooter)
    If I'm being honest with you guys part of the reason why I was originally suicidal (I better be careful about this because I don't want my post blocked) was because I felt I had no purpose to live anymore.

    I thought to myself even as young as 18 that I had no purpose to live as I will never get a girlfriend, and will never have friends, so keeping me alive in this unhappy state would be selfish. I planned initially to get a 1st class honours and go out with a bang (and then kill myself) and die with some sort of pride.

    I'm 25 and done my degree, but I only got a 2.2 (well you would do if you're life prospects/outlook in life were as dim as mine, so my depression was the reason for my lack of motivation), I due to recieve a telecommunications masters (merit) however.

    You see the thing is I've done my degree now so have nothing to live for. I've been considering putting myself out of my misery in say 6-12 months time if things do not improve. I will never have a girlfriend, as I am too old now, and will never have any friends so as I say have nothing to live for and have a no quality of life.

    I'm not initially suicidal (so please do not take this a suicidal post) but have prospects of planning it at some point in my life, for well 5-6 years now as I have served my purpose.

    Think about like a tennis player (watching wimbledon right now) I would have my tennis career, win as many majors as possible or whatever, and then kill myself afterwards at 33 something, as I have nothing to live for/served my purpose. I suck at socialising, and will never have a girlfriend and living becomes too painful. I'm just not very good at this side of life and have an obligation not to live it. But at least I would go out with a bang winning some majors or something say.

    This has been the crux of my thinking for some years now, get the degree and then go. But now obviously I'm having councilling etc. Whether that will work is another thing. I have to be able to serve a purpose in order to want to live.
    Why? Why is it that other people have rebounded from similar situations to yours but you can't? Yes you might suck with girls and be bad with people but why does it have to stay that way? What's actually stopping you from improving?
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    (Original post by tooosh)
    What's actually stopping you from improving?
    Because I'm seemingly born with a personality that repels people away from me. I can't make friends, the world doesn't want to know me, I'm going to die like this and it depresses me like crazy.
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    save up your viriginity for the special one don't force it
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    (Original post by kidomo)
    save up your viriginity for the special one don't force it
    Nope because I am too old and will put women off being old male virgin.

    Plus I dont think I will ever get a girlfriend, I'm just too much of a freak, like literally, sadly.
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    (Original post by Sharpshooter)
    Because I'm seemingly born with a personality that repels people away from me. I can't make friends, the world doesn't want to know me, I'm going to die like this and it depresses me like crazy.
    So what if you were born like that, who says you can't change it?

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