[CintiaMarina]

[QUOTE=Anonymous;37799479]Haha trust me, I think our parents think there doing us good when there not.
I think I'm just going to move out :/



If I get into uni, I know that I will be moving out for good - shes already warned me :L oh well, **** it, im all up for it
Good luck with ur decisions tho x

[Dee Leigh]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Just do it. Move into halls. Get away from your parents. If it was up to my mother, I would be going to uni in my home city and living at home so she can fetch me everyday after lectures. Parents from certain cultures tend to be backward and controlling; if they wanted you to behave like a priest/nun then maybe they shouldn't have brought you up in the UK. If they don't want you to be a part of the society which you were brought up in then they are insane. My mother tries to scare me by saying how I'll probably be raped at university. You just have to remember that while they fear for your safety, it is not in a normal way, it is irrational and controlling and about them wanting to keep their reputation intact. Go have fun, live your life and become independent like the thousands of other students who's parents are supportive and normal.

I definitely won't be returning home over the holidays. I don't plan on living at home ever again after leaving, some parents like mine think they own their child forever and the only way for that culture to change is for new generations to stand up and break the mold. Don't let them guilt trip you either.

Try getting onto a better course if you want to. Otherwise I would say just go do the course that you've been accepted onto already. I was in the same situation, listening to my parents and I ended up taking 2 gap years. I've only realised this year that my mother was really glad that I was still at home where she could control me. She even told me again that I can reject my place and resit A levels AGAIN. Madness. You can always do post-grad studies. It's only 3 years.

Getting away is the only way.

What are you gonna do during the holidays?

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830

[Dee Leigh]

(Original post by tbcl)
Have you thought about taking a year out? You could earn some money and go to Uni being able to support yourself.

On a plus note, be thankful you parents care enough about you mine would not have given a bleep

Her parents don't care about her, they only care about their reputation.

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830

[CantThinkOfaUsername]

If you're definitely set on moving into halls, what about writing your parents a letter first before/instead of telling them face to face? You could include all your reasons for wanting to go alongside any evidence that it would be safe. You could also explain that you understand their reasons for wanting you to stay. That way, they get to see your point of view in much more detail than they would if you brought up the topic face to face and just received a flat 'no' outright. Even if you're certain that you're leaving, it at least shows that you respect them anyway. I'd imagine if you just left without really having a chance to explain it, it would make it difficult during holidays etc.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Dee Leigh)
Getting away is the only way.

What are you gonna do during the holidays?

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830

I might stay with my boyfriend or with friends. Or get my workplace to do me a transfer to my uni city so I can work over the holidays and rent somewhere/extend my stay at halls over the summer? I'll have to do placements relevant to my degree too.

Best case scenario: my parents come around and realise it isn't worth ruining our family just because I don't agree with them on certain things. Hopefully they will accept the way I am and what I want to do and the people I want to have in my life. My poor boyfriend doesn't understand why everyone can't just get along. If not, then I'll survive anyway!

[Coffeegirl]

(Original post by Dee Leigh)
So what are you going to do?!?!

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830

lol, wish I knew

[Dee Leigh]

(Original post by Coffeegirl)
lol, wish I knew

Chances are, they might be planning an arranged marriage or expecting you to go to work. If I were you I would secretly apply to unis far away.

[Coffeegirl]

(Original post by Dee Leigh)
Chances are, they might be planning an arranged marriage or expecting you to go to work. If I were you I would secretly apply to unis far away.

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...anged+marriage

I found this out after I had applied to universities close to home

[Anonymous]

Regarding the ruling about having mehrams with you when you are travelling. Hope this clears up mis understandings

http://www.central-mosque.com/fiqh/wtravel1.htm
http://www.islamicity.com/qa/action....op.shtml&-find
http://www.shafiifiqh.com/the-ruling...hout-a-mahram/
http://www.onislam.net/english/ask-t...traveling.html

[Dee Leigh]

(Original post by Coffeegirl)
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...anged+marriage

I found this out after I had applied to universities close to home

That's you?

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830

[Coffeegirl]

(Original post by Dee Leigh)
That's you?

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830

Umm yes why are you surprised?

[Dee Leigh]

(Original post by Coffeegirl)
Umm yes why are you surprised?

I'm not surprised but wow...just wow.

So you are getting married?

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830

[Coffeegirl]

(Original post by Dee Leigh)
I'm not surprised but wow...just wow.

So you are getting married?

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830

Since the start of the thread, I have changed my mind. short and simple answer in no I am not. I don't want to. Lets just see how my dad deals with that hey ...

[Dee Leigh]

(Original post by Coffeegirl)
Since the start of the thread, I have changed my mind. short and simple answer in no I am not. I don't want to. Lets just see how my dad deals with that hey ...

Good.

So what are you going to do?

Just remember if your parents mention anything about going to Pakistan on a 'suprise holiday' or to 'see a relative', then make sure you have your passport and the Foreign Office number with you at all times.

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830

[Coffeegirl]

(Original post by Dee Leigh)
Good.

So what are you going to do?

Just remember if your parents mention anything about going to Pakistan on a 'suprise holiday' or to 'see a relative', then make sure you have your passport and the Foreign Office number with you at all times.

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830

I don't have my passport..the man of the house looks after those...
but yes i have all the numbers and helplines, i have friends who know the procedure of what to do...we have codes and everything sorted ....having said that my dad will have passports ...i have photocopy of expired one so i kinda do have my passport number and other important stuff of it.

Also the school is notifyed even if i am a ex student and they cant really do anything to help me was very disapointed because it took a lot of courage to go to them in the first place

[cryptic]

(Original post by Coffeegirl)
I don't have my passport..the man of the house looks after those...
but yes i have all the numbers and helplines, i have friends who know the procedure of what to do...we have codes and everything sorted ....having said that my dad will have passports ...i have photocopy of expired one so i kinda do have my passport number and other important stuff of it.

Also the school is notifyed even if i am a ex student and they cant really do anything to help me was very disapointed because it took a lot of courage to go to them in the first place

I dont think you should worry about the passport because if anything goes wrong the High Commission will issue an emergency passport...but keeping any sort of a ID would still be good... i think this might help... read from para 8...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2005...an.declanwalsh

[Coffeegirl]

(Original post by cryptic)
I dont think you should worry about the passport because if anything goes wrong the High Commission will issue an emergency passport...but keeping any sort of a ID would still be good... i think this might help... read from para 8...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2005...an.declanwalsh

Thanks I will have a look at it

[Dee Leigh]

(Original post by Coffeegirl)
I don't have my passport..the man of the house looks after those...
but yes i have all the numbers and helplines, i have friends who know the procedure of what to do...we have codes and everything sorted ....having said that my dad will have passports ...i have photocopy of expired one so i kinda do have my passport number and other important stuff of it.

Also the school is notifyed even if i am a ex student and they cant really do anything to help me was very disapointed because it took a lot of courage to go to them in the first place

That's not good...they should help you...but tbh some schools would rather not help because they are worried about 'offending' cultures. Sad but true

It's good you've got a system in place but you should try to gradually reclaim your documents - NI card, passport, birth certificate, etc. I presume you're an adult now so you need to get a hold of your important documents.

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830

[Coffeegirl]

(Original post by Dee Leigh)
That's not good...they should help you...but tbh some schools would rather not help because they are worried about 'offending' cultures. Sad but true

It's good you've got a system in place but you should try to gradually reclaim your documents - NI card, passport, birth certificate, etc. I presume you're an adult now so you need to get a hold of your important documents.

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830

My school wasn't like that, they said because I was an ex-student now there wasn't a way to get in touch without seeming odd. But I was doing some voluntary work while I was in school with another student and my teacher said that they can use that as an excuse to ring me up in sept or something. So they are still trying to do something. Btw my school is supposed to be the best in pastoral care in the area thats why i was slightly disapointed

Passport will be very difficult, NI card is already with me and birth certificate is located in a place where I have access and can take when I am actually planning on doing something drastic. Exam certificates and stuff are all with me and will be handed over to a close friend ASAP for safety. so its all ok at the moment but... I just hope it never gets to that point

I'm still 17 so not yet an adult but only 8 days left

[Coffeegirl]

sorry for stealing the thread OP! What is happening with your situation?