[im so academic]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Helping me by telling me to go back to pakistan cause I have a different culture to you. Dude, totally uncalled for. That's why I said that.

They want me to live with my aunty, cause its closer to the uni. Apparently to save on money.

What?? Advocates murder? Noo lol I said that myself, its a figure of speech. She never will kill me. Since I'm to preciouslol

She will never kill you?

OK, then move into halls then.

What's the worse that she can do? Kill you?

Evidently not.

[Mr Dangermouse]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah ofc I am As long as I'm not out til 12am clubbing or whatever.
My mum isnt choosing who I marry. I made that clear to her.
Yeah, If I dont move into halls. I'm joining every society, sports and stuff I want to.
I will be able to do all that stuff, but.. not able to go clubbing and partying

12am is when clubbing starts usually.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by im so academic)


Take her to the local mosque where hopefully, the leader of it should tell you that nowhere does Islam state that it's banned to not move into student halls.

Oh and when you finally have independence from them, tell them to **** off.

I think it's better for you to live on the street than to live with such people as parents.

Tell them their culture is ridiculous.

Some people have said that as a women, I need someone to protect me. So I dont want to go to a religion person and he'll say my parents are right

(Original post by Happydude)
And controlling your life even though you are essentially an adult now? Their good intentions doesn't excuse the impact of what they are trying to do will have on your life.

To them, I can move in with my aunts, go to the uni(which is good), and my aunt will look after me. Plus I'll be financially better off.

I just want to live in halls, finally be independent though I dont know whether I'm being unreasonable

(Original post by Zerforax)
Tell her this decision will only push you apart anyway as after this, you'll never feel like you can come to her to talk to her about anything.

Tbh it's impossible for anyone else outside your family/those who know your family to know how they will really react. I've seen asian parents say they will behave in a certain manner and after the kids did what they wanted anyway, they've given in to a degree (likewise see the opposite where the parents do what they said they would - ie cut off contact) Really depends how stubborn your parents are.



Ask her how much independence and experience she has outside of her home and close family who she is in touch with. Seen it with my mum and plenty of my aunts/cousins etc who basically live very limited lives (but then they seem happy enough).

Bottom line is if you wanted to act up and go clubbing/chase boys/drink etc, your mother (short of locking you up) would not be able to stop you. I've seen other boys and girls who have very strict parents but kids can't be watched 24/7.

Not sure if this would be a willing compromise from your point of view but you could say that you will live at home/with family for the first year of university only. It is a new environment and plenty of people do go off the rails so your parents have legitimate concerns to a degree. If it makes them more comfortable that you do the first year from under their watchful eye and then after that give you the freedom once you've settled.

On the other side of the coin, it might be harder to break away if you do the first year at home since it's more continuity to maintain the status quo. Further, you might feel you've already missed out on the experiences of Uni/friends circles will be very different if you live at home compared to being in halls.

My sister was in halls/lives away from home but parents are happy because she basically comes home every weekend/whenever she has holiday and free time (but then I think she's a little bit boring for that).

I think she knows what family will think cause the uni I want to go to is in the same city where very close family live She thinks they'll get the wrong end of the stick if I dont live with the.(which I know is true)

Thanks for your advice

[Anonymous]

(Original post by im so academic)
She will never kill you?

OK, then move into halls then.

What's the worse that she can do? Kill you?

Evidently not.

Possibly not help me financially?

(Original post by Junaid96)
You can't expect a place on results day. It is so unbelievably rare to get a place at a better course than the one you've been offered.

I can me an exception But yeah your prob right

(Original post by Mr Dangermouse)
12am is when clubbing starts usually.

I shall not be clubbing

[yothi5]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Her views are formed cause of religion. Both my parents where born here too. So shes not an immigrant

That's even worse! British born and still holds those bad views. Well if you are defending her, why are you posting in the first place?!

[Mr Dangermouse]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I shall not be clubbing

Why not?

[yothi5]

/post for me.

No amount of education can turn her and her mother around.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by yothi5)
/post for me.

No amount of education can turn her and her mother around.

Lool turn me around? Do you know me? No. Do you know what I think? No. I'm trying to convince my mum to let me stay in halls. Doesnt mean any1 has the right to make silly little assumptions

(Original post by Mr Dangermouse)
Why not?

I dunno of its my thing really, I dont drink. Obviously, I wont be the loser staying at home. I'll just do alternative things. Maybe clubbing sometimes too.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by yothi5)
That's even worse! British born and still holds those bad views. Well if you are defending her, why are you posting in the first place?!

I'm defending her cause shes my mum. She brought me up, I aint going to let people slag her off.

Oh.. and I'm looking for ADVICE not JUDGEMENTS. Thanks.

[naila]

(Original post by Rybee)
I'm sorry but what the hell... This is why I can't stand typical muslim families. You've been brainwashed and whipped to the point where you're not allowed to live your own life and make rational choices. Why anyone would want to live like this is beyond me...

I genuinely feel sorry for you and I hope you can sort this out.

Not all muslim families are like this. I'm from Pakistan and my parents couldn't possibly be more supportive of the decisions I make but sadly there are quite a few families like this, I've found that it's more of a cultural than a religious

[Happydude]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Some people have said that as a women, I need someone to protect me. So I dont want to go to a religion person and he'll say my parents are right

This is a great example of the sexist religion that Islam has become. You don't need someone to protect you. What about all the other millions of women in the world living on their own?

And in halls you'll probably be with four or five other women.

(Original post by Anonymous)
To them, I can move in with my aunts, go to the uni(which is good), and my aunt will look after me. Plus I'll be financially better off.

I just want to live in halls, finally be independent though I dont know whether I'm being unreasonable



I think she knows what family will think cause the uni I want to go to is in the same city where very close family live She thinks they'll get the wrong end of the stick if I dont live with the.(which I know is true)

Thanks for your advice

If you don't do it now, you'll never have control of your life. You will remain stuck with these backward idiots.

[im so academic]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Possibly not help me financially?

Support yourself then.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Happydude)
This is a great example of the sexist religion that Islam has become. You don't need someone to protect you. What about all the other millions of women in the world living on their own?

And in halls you'll probably be with four or five other women.





If you don't do it now, you'll never have control of your life. You will remain stuck with these backward idiots.

I'm trying to do it now. Me and mum just start end up argueing, stresses me out and puts me in a bad mood.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the help guys

I think I'm going to forget this until my exams are over, I cant concentrate and I need to work hard.

[jumpingjesusholycow]

(Original post by Happydude)
This is a great example of the sexist religion that Islam has become. You don't need someone to protect you. What about all the other millions of women in the world living on their own?

And in halls you'll probably be with four or five other women.

If you don't do it now, you'll never have control of your life. You will remain stuck with these backward idiots.

Surely sexism is the fault of individual and not merely a subset of an entire religion. There are one and a half billion Muslims out there across the globe ranging from liberal to strict conservative.

Islamophobic morons

[im so academic]

(Original post by jumpingjesusholycow)
Surely sexism is the fault of individual and not merely a subset of an entire religion. There are one and a half billion Muslims out there across the globe ranging from liberal to strict conservative.

Islamophobic morons

Then why does Islam state that a woman must have a male guardian at all times?

[izzabellezi]

You need to assure them that you're old enough and independent enough to make your own decisions. Maybe over the summer start taking on more responsibilities or even take a gap year and go your own way during it to show them that they can trust you and that you're capable of handling yourself. Taking a gap year will also mean you can apply to the universities that you want to. You have to assert yourself and make sure that the decisions that are made about your life are made by you, don't let them hold you back.

I really hope they come around, I would hate to be stuck in this situation. Good luck girl!

[Coffeegirl]

your lucky, my dad wont even let me go uni

[james22]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I just want to live in halls, finally be independent though I dont know whether I'm being unreasonable

This is about as far from unreasonable as you can get.

[jumpingjesusholycow]

(Original post by im so academic)
Then why does Islam state that a woman must have a male guardian at all times?

Er, because it doesn't

I'm awaiting a source in the Quran or at the very least a reliable hadith. Emphasis on reliable.