[Anonymous]

I'm female before anyone says anything.

I've always had a very high sex drive. I also suffer with a number of mental and physical health problems and being tested for hormone issues.

I find myself having to relive myself a lot, sometimes up to nine/ten times a day. I'm on SSRIs which did at first calm my drive down but have now left me with a high sex drive and a lack of ability to achieve anything. I make myself sore and ill quite often through "trying". I've taken to watching pornography to satisfy myself which is proving costly. Watching this bounces off my mental health problems as I obssess over the legalities of what I am watching - I spend hours researching each individual video to confirm whether the film is legal and panic if I struggle to find information. I spend hours looking at the laws regarding this and only make myself more worried. I can't always calm myself down and panic about it.

I realise I need to tell someone in real life but I don't even know where to begin. I see my GP very regularly for mental health issues and feel I ought to tell her but I'm unsure how to. She might think I'm strange or dirty or something. I'm actually seeing her tommorow and she knows I am worried about *something* because I was on the phone to a CPN the other night, I haven't told them all these worries and problems though. Is it worth just printing this post off and showing her and seeing what she thinks?

[superwolf]

I'd bring it up. I had a psychiatrist appointment earlier this week where, among other things, we discussed how my sex drive has increased dramatically recently. I didn't find it at all embarrassing to talk about - doctors hear all kinds of stuff from their patients all the time, they're professionals, and sex is nothing to be ashamed of (I'm aware that there's a bit of a stigma among some people about females masturbating but let's face it - that's just plain stupid ). And in my case my honesty helped form psychiatrist's diagnosis - he sees my high sex drive as being in part a coping mechanism for my depression, which I currently have very little control over, and pointing towards a slightly more complicated diagnosis. So I'd say it's definitely a good idea for you to be telling your doctor about this, since you're clearly worried about it.

And yes, if you like you can just print this post off - I did the same last week too with a list of possible eating disorder symptoms (easier than remembering and describing them all) and the doctor was grateful that I'd take the trouble to do it.

Hope the appointment goes well.

[anon1212]

I would definitely stay off the pornography. Cut off your internet if you need to. I think porn definitely feeds addiction.

[The_Lonely_Goatherd]

Do bring it up tomorrow if you can and if you feel you can't, just print off the post as has been suggested above. It's nothing to be ashamed of and sexual worries can be quite frustrating and can make your other problems all the more worse. Your GP would have heard all kinds of things before and shouldn't judge you for it

[Anonymous]

Superwolf - I have been told that before too, that it is a coping mechanism and just a symptom type thing of mental health problems.. This I was reasonably OK with and I was OK discussing it with my GP - until I, perhaps stupidly, asked to see a copy of a referal letter in which she made reference to this.. Upset me, I don't know why, but have felt sick discussing such things since then.

That and I am Catholic - which is also affected by the anxiety/obsessivey issues - and have always thought masturbation was a sin. Especially so if you are having to look at porn to get somewhere with it. Which only makes me not want to discuss it even more. Have told my GP before who was horrified I could think such a thing and spent ages going over why sex etc wasn't wrong in the slightest.. Plus I have problems "there" anyway which usuaylly get discussed at appts and I worry if I mention sex again she'll only think I'm a tad odd!

In any case, I'll bring the worries up. Might write it down and give it to her so I can't just chicken out. It's not so much the watching that bothers me, it's the obsessive rituals I think..

Got myself into a right panic last night after reading all porn watched in Scotland needs to show only consensual situations.. I have accidentally before seen BDSM material (nothing extreme and nothing where it was even suggested that someone didn't consent to be honest!) and that panicked me. All films I have watched though are through one particular paying website in which they explicitly state that all films are studio produced and dramatised and that actors have consented. So I maybe am overly analysing.

[mmmpie]

Talk to the GP. If the conversation does go a direction that you don't like, you can always just say you aren't comfortable discussing xyz details right now. It's better than leaving the problem to fester.

[The_Lonely_Goatherd]

(Original post by Anonymous)
That and I am Catholic - which is also affected by the anxiety/obsessivey issues - and have always thought masturbation was a sin. Especially so if you are having to look at porn to get somewhere with it. Which only makes me not want to discuss it even more. Have told my GP before who was horrified I could think such a thing and spent ages going over why sex etc wasn't wrong in the slightest.. Plus I have problems "there" anyway which usuaylly get discussed at appts and I worry if I mention sex again she'll only think I'm a tad odd!

Ah, a fellow Catholic! Let me tell you some things I have discovered on my journey.

OK, so masturbation is a sin. Not really any way around that. BUT BUT BUT... if you actually read the Catholic Catechism entry (the official guide to what's what in Catholicism, in case you don't know what the CCC is) on masturbation, this is what it says:

"2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."¹³⁸ "The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose." For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."¹³⁹
To form an equitable judgment about the subjects' moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability."

Please please PLEASE read that last paragraph and take it on board. It is meant for people like you and me (I suffer from schizoaffective disorder and PTSD). It means that whilst it is still a sin, our moral culpability is reduced. You are NOT (I repeat, NOT) going to Hell just because you masturbate or anything silly like that

Personally, I've been masturbating since I was quite young and didn't know what the hell I was doing and have, as yet, not managed to kick the habit My counsellor at uni insisted that I was a closet lesbian blah blah and since I didn't really understand anything regarding lesbian sex and what that might look/feel like, I ended up watching porn to find out. (Note to any readers: DON'T do this if you're vulnerable. You just end up getting bloody addicted ) Haven't managed to kick that habit either.

Around this time last year, I started spiritual direction with a priest who (by sheer Godincidence - I had no idea when I asked to see him) had been a mental health social worker before he got "the call" I had alluded to sexual sin in hysterical texts to him but had felt too ashamed to bring it up. Then during Holy Week I went nuts and felt so guilty, that I said I wanted to see him on Good Friday for confession (of all bloody days in the Church calendar, I had to go and pick one of his busiest ). So I went into the box (more like a little room though) and wailed at him about how I don't know what my sexuality is and how I have peverse sexual thoughts about a former tutor, blah blah. (Didn't mention masturbation or porn but he's not an idiot, so I'm sure he guessed at least the first one.) I was absolutely terrified that he'd be disgusted and judge me and never treat me the same way again, but I felt so awful that I just had to tell him.

And you know what? He was absolutely lovely about it. He told me that these issues weren't a sin and that they were part of my mental health problems (intrusive thoughts, yada yada) but offered and gave me absolution anyway. He was really understanding and it made me feel so much better about potentially talking to him more about it in future

Sorry for the long ramble but obviously I can't PM you. If you'd like to talk about this some more, feel free to drop me a PM: I won't tell anyone who you are

Remember that God loves you and you are precious in His sight. If you have a nice priest who you think might be understanding, I'd definitely go and talk to him about it