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Worried that I might start drinking

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    It was recently my twenty-first birthday and I've got a nice meal with friends planned. I was thinking that I could have a glass of some nice wine to really celebrate.

    Thing is, I can't. I'm an addict - not specifically alcohol (I've never drunk to become an alcoholic), but to anything. 'Obsessive, addictive personality' is what my doctor calls it. What's more, I come from a family of addicts.

    So I can't drink, I can never drink. But I so want to, just once be able to have the same fun and do the same things that everyone else my age can. Please help, before I do something stupid.
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    I must say I don't really see the problem. You're refusing to drink because you are the "type" to become an alcoholic. But you've never drunk alcohol before.

    Surely if you're aware that you are the type of person who is likely to drink too much/often, you can just be more aware of how much you are drinking and make sure you don't go overboard with it.

    Alcohol isn't crack. You won't automatically become a rabid alcoholic by having a glass of wine on your birthday. You might not even like it.
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    (Original post by Robinson's_Crusade)
    It was recently my twenty-first birthday and I've got a nice meal with friends planned. I was thinking that I could have a glass of some nice wine to really celebrate.

    Thing is, I can't. I'm an addict - not specifically alcohol (I've never drunk to become an alcoholic), but to anything. 'Obsessive, addictive personality' is what my doctor calls it. What's more, I come from a family of addicts.

    So I can't drink, I can never drink. But I so want to, just once be able to have the same fun and do the same things that everyone else my age can. Please help, before I do something stupid.
    What sort of things have you previously become addicted to?
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    (Original post by Vohamanah)
    I must say I don't really see the problem. You're refusing to drink because you are the "type" to become an alcoholic. But you've never drunk alcohol before.

    Surely if you're aware that you are the type of person who is likely to drink too much/often, you can just be more aware of how much you are drinking and make sure you don't go overboard with it.

    Alcohol isn't crack. You won't automatically become a rabid alcoholic by having a glass of wine on your birthday. You might not even like it.
    This guy here cannot be more correct.
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    (Original post by Willez)
    This guy here cannot be more correct.
    Cheers, brother
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    (Original post by Vohamanah)
    I must say I don't really see the problem. You're refusing to drink because you are the "type" to become an alcoholic. But you've never drunk alcohol before.

    Surely if you're aware that you are the type of person who is likely to drink too much/often, you can just be more aware of how much you are drinking and make sure you don't go overboard with it.

    Alcohol isn't crack. You won't automatically become a rabid alcoholic by having a glass of wine on your birthday. You might not even like it.
    When you're an addict, it's not as simple as 'Oh, getting to my limit, best stop doing it now'. You know you've gone past the limit, but you can't stop doing it.
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    (Original post by facetious)
    What sort of things have you previously become addicted to?
    Painkillers. I genuinely needed them (well, at least in the beginning I did), but I started by taking them only when the pain was too much to bear. Then the level of pain needed began to decrease, until I'd take them for any slight pain. Then the pain became in my head and finally, I knew I wasn't in pain but took them anyway.

    About the only good thing I will say for myself is I never actually over-dosed; I was taking them unnecessarily, but I only ever took the recommended limit.
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    (Original post by Robinson's_Crusade)
    Painkillers. I genuinely needed them (well, at least in the beginning I did), but I started by taking them only when the pain was too much to bear. Then the level of pain needed began to decrease, until I'd take them for any slight pain. Then the pain became in my head and finally, I knew I wasn't in pain but took them anyway.

    About the only good thing I will say for myself is I never actually over-dosed; I was taking them unnecessarily, but I only ever took the recommended limit.
    Well maybe a bit of wine for your birthday dinner thing wont matter then, because with the painkillers you obviously had to take them on a regular basis, before your addiction started. So looking from that point of view, alcohol on a one off basis wont affect you. And then after that, you can see how you feel maybe :dontknow:
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    If you don't trust yourself to drink right now, then don't. You don't need to feel guilty or torture yourself about it. Wait until you feel like you can try it without the possibility of becoming addicted.
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    Agreed with what everyone on here has posted. Go out saying "OK, it's my birthday. I'm going to have a glass of wine but I'm only going to have one." And stick by that - you won't become immediately addicted but you might be pressured/tempted to go for another. Don't. Stick with the one and then you know you're exercising self-control.

    If you feel you're likely to give into your friends perhaps encouraging you to have more than one, then maybe speak to the closest one and let them know what you're doing and why you're doing it so they can stop you or stick up for you just in case others don't understand.

    Good luck
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    (Original post by Robinson's_Crusade)
    Painkillers. I genuinely needed them (well, at least in the beginning I did), but I started by taking them only when the pain was too much to bear. Then the level of pain needed began to decrease, until I'd take them for any slight pain. Then the pain became in my head and finally, I knew I wasn't in pain but took them anyway.

    About the only good thing I will say for myself is I never actually over-dosed; I was taking them unnecessarily, but I only ever took the recommended limit.
    Couldn't you then stick to the recommended limits of a couple of units a day for alcohol then?
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    Since you've been to your doctor about your previous addiction perhaps you should see them about this. You could ask their advice and take it from there.
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    (Original post by Robinson's_Crusade)
    When you're an addict, it's not as simple as 'Oh, getting to my limit, best stop doing it now'. You know you've gone past the limit, but you can't stop doing it.
    But you're not addicted to alcohol, you've never even tried it. You're just presuming that if you have one glass of wine you'll be addicted, when in fact "addiction" to painkillers is completely and utterly different. I think you're just trying to create drama out of nothing, personally
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    (Original post by Vohamanah)
    I must say I don't really see the problem. You're refusing to drink because you are the "type" to become an alcoholic. But you've never drunk alcohol before.

    Surely if you're aware that you are the type of person who is likely to drink too much/often, you can just be more aware of how much you are drinking and make sure you don't go overboard with it.

    Alcohol isn't crack. You won't automatically become a rabid alcoholic by having a glass of wine on your birthday. You might not even like it.
    I see your point and I'm inclined to think the same but this is pretty irresponsible advice to give, especially in such a blunt way, considering what OP's doctor has said, unless you have some kind of medical expertise anyway
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    (Original post by abc:))
    I see your point and I'm inclined to think the same but this is pretty irresponsible advice to give, especially in such a blunt way, considering what OP's doctor has said, unless you have some kind of medical expertise anyway
    Direct quote from the forum index: "Remember all advice is unprofessional and what someone online says does not replace a trip to the GP!"

    I'm not holding myself out to have any medical qualifications and even if I did, I wouldn't be giving out professional medical opinions on a student forum. I'm speaking from a common sense point of view that one glass of wine does not automatically equal becoming an alcoholic.

    Regardless, the OP appears to have already decided that they are an alcoholic in waiting, so I don't see that my "blunt" advice will make any difference.
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    (Original post by Vohamanah)
    Direct quote from the forum index: "Remember all advice is unprofessional and what someone online says does not replace a trip to the GP!"

    I'm not holding myself out to have any medical qualifications and even if I did, I wouldn't be giving out professional medical opinions on a student forum. I'm speaking from a common sense point of view that one glass of wine does not automatically equal becoming an alcoholic.

    Regardless, the OP appears to have already decided that they are an alcoholic in waiting, so I don't see that my "blunt" advice will make any difference.
    Well hopefully it won't make any difference, and this is just a personal thing but I think even with that stated in the forum index I would always add something like that onto any kind of medical advice I gave anyway.
    I guess you may be right about the alcohol thing, one glass shouldn't make a difference, but one thing I guess you need to consider is the fact that we probably don't know much about this condition OP has been diagnosed with, and that could make a lot of difference
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    I could be wrong, but I don't think OP wanted advice on whether or not to drink; they wanted support on not drinking. Specifically, because they feel disconnected from other people over the fact that they don't consider themself able to drink whereas most other young people can.

    Yes, having one drink doesn't mean you'll become an alcoholic, even in people with addictive personalities. However, OP has shown a previous tendency towards addiction, so it's not illogical for them to avoid potentially addictive substances where possible; I'd even go as far as to say it's a good idea.
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    If you can't kick the curiosity then I'd say get so drunk that you chunder furiously for hours and put yourself off it for life. My uncle was a drug addict and alcoholic, but he's been clean for 9 years now. He goes to regular AA meetings to stay off the alcohol, and even when he's visiting for a few days he will try to find a meeting in our area. If my mum or nan cooks for him, he'll insist that they don't use even the slightest bit of wine in the sauce because he knows that as soon as he gets the taste for it he'll wanna go back to it. He has the addictive personality you describe, and so it really is a battle for him. I'd advise that you stay away for your own good.
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    (Original post by facetious)
    Well maybe a bit of wine for your birthday dinner thing wont matter then, because with the painkillers you obviously had to take them on a regular basis, before your addiction started. So looking from that point of view, alcohol on a one off basis wont affect you. And then after that, you can see how you feel maybe :dontknow:
    I'd have thought the more relevant point was that I kept on going, even though I knew I shouldn't. The number of times I took them when I truely couldn't stand the pain were minimal - two, three at most. The rest was the descent.

    (Original post by Vohamanah)
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    (Original post by Willez)
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    (Original post by Rascacielos)
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    (Original post by Clare~Bear)
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    This thread had kind of lost its track. It was never intended to be a debate on whether or not I'm going to drink. I'm not going to. I appreciate that I wouldn't necessarily become an alcoholic after one glass of wine, but I didn't think I'd become a painkiller addict after taking them a couple of times either. If I did try alcohol and it did turn out to be something I become addicted to, it will have gone too far. So I choose to avoid it - that was never up for discussion.

    I just wanted some support on how to resist the temptation. It's my own decision, I avoid alcohol (and other potentially addictive substances) out of my own choice and I appreciate that no one forces it on me. But that doesn't mean it's always easy. It was really hard when my friends started getting into alcohol and I just drifted away from them, it's always hard at Christmas when I can't even eat the cake, and it's hard at birthdays when I'm paying for my friends to drink and I know I can't join them.
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    :hugs: Don't worry, there are other people who don't drink either for various reasons. I know it can be lonely and restrictive at times, but at least you know it's your choice to help you.


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