[Clare~Bear]

Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to move out of my parents house, I do like alcohol, I am a reasonably social person and I'm passionate about the subject I want to do at uni.

But I just don't feel like I'd enjoy student life, especially if it was in a city.

BTW I won't be starting uni until september 2013. And this isn't a rant, I can't complain about things that haven't happened.

I am scared of the prospect of having to share a flat etc with complete strangers especially from the stories I've heard on here about really bitchy/ just annoying flatmates who I'd want to slap if I was the OP of such threads.

I'm not the kind of person that pointlessly wastes money on alcohol to get drunk and sick it back up. And I'm not the kinda person that goes to wild parties and clubbing. But I don't want to come across as a boring person or end up just spending my saturday nights with boring people/ prudish religious types that don't drink for religious reasons. Plus my hobbies tend be those that posher/ stuck up people do. I was in the sea cadets so I was lucky to do sailing and scuba diving cheaply. So I don't want to be stuck with these kinds of stuck up people for these kinds of societies that unis run - I'm definately working class, there's nothing posh about me.

I like cooking for people. But fussy people annoy me so I'd probably end up being able to cook hardly anything, in order to satisfy everyone.

I'm from a small town near the coast. I'd hate living in a city, but most unis are in cities. Bangor looks really nice, but I dunno if I'd get in there. Plus it's the other side of the country from almost everyone I know. My brother lives 2 hours away but he works offshore so is away half of the year, so I might or might not be able to spend half terms with him as the journey home would be very long and expensive.

How will I cope? I'd especially like to hear from anyone like me whose now at uni, especially if you came from a rural area.

[Wookie42]

1. Sharing a flat with other people is scary for most people at first, and there's usually one person in a flat that annoys everyone. That's why you pick your housemates for your second year carefully Honestly though, even if somehow all of your flatmates end up being complete a-holes, it doesn't mean you have to spend a lot of time with them - I've got a friend at uni who spends most of his time in my flat because the people he lives with are pretty terrible.

2. Its a common misconception that *everyone* at uni goes out 5 times a week and gets mortalled. Yeah, most people go out a fair amount and drink a lot, but there are so many people who don't - they aren't boring people, and while its easy to assume that because someone doesn't want to go clubbing it means they just want to sit at home, it isn't true.

3. How do you know you're going to be cooking for fussy people? There's no point worrying about stuff like this that may never happen!

4. Come to Aberystwyth

I think you're completely over thinking things, which is really easy to do before you start uni - I know I had similar thoughts before I started. "What if I end up living with a load of mentals?", "What if I don't find anyone who enjoys the same hobbies as I do?", the list goes on. I come from a very rural area, but I don't see how that has affected/changed my uni experience - its amazing how quickly you get used to a new place, and in many cases its amazing how quickly you start to prefer certain things to home life. The best advice to give you is simply that everyone's in the same boat to some extent. No one knows who they're going to be living with, and no one knows who they'll meet!

[Tizoxic]

Firstly, you've got to get your priorities straight. Are you willing to live away from everyone and everything you've ever known in order to pursue what you (hopefully) love? Is satisfying everyone really the most important thing to you? Don't you think that you're ready to live on your own, get a taste of the real world? Have a nice, long think.
About the city/country-side issue you seem to be having: you must have heard the ubiquitous quote "Everything in life worth doing is not easily done," in some form or the other, but I posted it just to re-iterate. Bearing that in mind, sacrifices will be made, are you up to it?
Finally, to reassure you, all the room-mate stuff you've read about is exactly that, what you've read about. That's because the vast majority of people who share accommodation are happy with their room-mate(s), and only the few that aren't actually bother to post online and complain. So don't worry, fingers crossed that you'll get someone nice

[Clare~Bear]

Ta

I can't wait to move of from my parents. And most my friends are moving away to other unis this september.

I hate cities though. I hate staying with relatives or going on holiday to cities.

Wookie, I might go to Aber, I'm visiting it this autumn.

But my grades aren't amazing so i might only get into Portsmouth or Plymouth.

[Adam C]

(Original post by Clare~Bear)
But my grades aren't amazing so i might only get into Portsmouth or Plymouth.

I live in Plymouth (it being my hometown) and have several friends who study there, so you can ask me if you want to know anything about it

[Origami Bullets]

Standard anxieties here

The people that you share a flat with aren't strangers for long, and they quite rapidly become friends. There's always one person who's a bit of a pain, but they're usually not intolerable (and I find that if a couple of people express disapproval at their actions, the peer pressure can work wonders in making them sort out an issue). And you have to remember that people only ever talk about the rubbish flatmates, and the stories are often exaggerated - because good news is no news, and the stories are often funnier if exaggerated!

You should definitely go out in Freshers week (I'm willing to bet that you've never actually been to a club before as you live in a rural area and are underage?). It's only a week, it's how you bond with your new flatmates, and after that you won't really be pressured into going out. And as Wookie42 says, people don't actually go out 5 nights a week after the excitement of freshers is over - they can't afford to!

You'd be surprised at the sort of people who do "posh" sports at uni. I do rowing (I'm also definitely not posh, and hadn't been involved in rowing before), and in my experience, the members are a cross-section of the university's population - the rural ones, the geeky ones, the slightly odd ones, the social butterflies, the urban ones, the state-educated, the privately-educated, British, foreign, male, female, wealthy, not-so-wealthy . . . it's a complete hodge-podge of people. When you're at uni, how much money someone's parents have is far less evident than it is at school - very few people are subsidised above the level that student finance gives people, so everyone is skint together! Plus, "posh" sports are often heavily subsidised by the university (and always done on a shoestring) so they're accessible to all financially.

It's great that you like cooking for people, but worrying that you'll be cooking for fussy people is worrying over nothing. Most people realise that if someone else is kind enough to cook for others, then it's only polite to eat what they're given. You might have people with food allergies, or vegetarians in your flat. However, as the sole veggie in my flat, I've always worked with the flatmates who are cooking a flat meal to adapt my portion of the meal into something veggie (e.g. having a separate pot for me, and swapping mince for quorn mince), and helping with the cooking so that it's not a faff for the person cooking.

There are several unis in more rural areas / small towns. Bangor, Aberystwyth, St Andrews, Lampeter, Loughborough and RHUL (I know it's Greater London, but from what I gather it's more of a small town of 5000 people + students) all spring to mind. Even if you were going to a larger city, then there's often lots of green space. for instance, at Bristol the students all live by (and walk across, on their way to lectures) 400 acres of open parkland, called the Downs. It's big enough that you can just about forget you're in a city, although it is bisected by the odd road.

University is a big adventure, and you have to remember that you won't be cut off from everyone at home. Not only do you have skype / facebook / email / phone, but you will be able to visit (something which is easier if you go to uni in a city as the transport links are better...). There's also going to be quite an adjustment for you when your friends move away this September and you don't - life's about to change, and those people who you know simply won't be there anymore. Could you arrange to go and stay with one of them who is living in a city for a few days to see what it's really like? You might just find that it's a fear of the unknown - I've come from a semi-rural village (outskirts of a small city) to the middle of the UK's second largest city

[Clare~Bear]

Ta. I am 18 btw and clubbing with **** music and drunk people aint my kinda thing. I live on the edge of a village. But the other side of it is connected to a town which is where my 6th form is and my boyfriend lives.

It's good to hear that the 'posher' sports are done by working class people.

[ibelongtoslytherin]

To cut it short, you're gonna have to deal with it. Like my mum said before I went to Uni, life starts here. It'll prepare you for the real world. You are gonna meet people you're not gonna get along with, you're gonna get thrown into environments that are out of your comfort zone, the list goes on. Just don't worry about it too much. I hope you enjoy your experience

[Dusty12]

(Original post by Wookie42;377885804.)
Come to Aberystwyth

I was about to suggest Aberystwyth too! It's nicer than Bangor(in my opinion..) and sounds like it'd suit you.

I think your concerns are for the most part unfounded. Yeah, there are people here complaining about their flatmates, but who's to say that yours won't be awesome? And there are plenty of people who don't want to get hammered every night either.

I don't like wasting money on alcohol to get drunk and sick it back up. And I'm not the kinda person that goes to wild parties and clubbing. But I don't want to come across as a boring person or end up just spending my saturday nights with boring people/ prudish religious types that don't drink for religious reasons. Plus my hobbies tend be those that posher/ stuck up people do. I was in the sea cadets so I was lucky to do sailing and scuba diving cheaply. So I don't want to be stuck with these kinds of stuck up people for these kinds of societies that unis run - I'm definately working class, there's nothing posh about me.

I have similar worries to these, but I don't think it'll really be a problem. I have no particular love for clubbing, but I certainly don't think of myself as a boring person. There'll be people like that everywhere, and you can always make friends outside of a drinking context in societies and the like.
I have 'privileged' hobbies too like horseriding, but tbh all sorts of people do these things. And even if the other people in the sailing club or whatever come from a more upper-class background, it doesn't mean they're automatically 'stuck-up'.

You have a year to contemplate everything anyway - I wouldn't be surprised if you're loving student life in 2013.

[Jake22]

(Original post by Clare~Bear)
I don't like this. I don't like that. I'm not the type of person who is wanting to do that...

...and then...

(Original post by Clare~Bear)
But fussy people annoy me.

Ha. You have to see the irony.

Aren't you overthinking things a bit prematurely? Just see how you take it when you get there. You can do what you want. I am sure there will be plenty in the same boat.

[Joinedup]

You'll probably be somewhat annoyed some of the time but still manage to get through it ok.

[Clare~Bear]

But if the only part of being at uni I like is the learning then overall I'll hate the whole experience and want to leave. I'm a rather anxious/nervous person and am scared about this. An people rediculing me is making me worse.

[Origami Bullets]

(Original post by Clare~Bear)
But if the only part of being at uni I like is the learning then overall I'll hate the whole experience and want to leave. I'm a rather anxious/nervous person and am scared about this. An people rediculing me is making me worse.

I don't think people are ridiculing you, it's more just that you need to cross these bridges if and when you come to them. And I think all Jake22 was trying to say is that there may be some occasions when you need to be a little flexible.

[Clare~Bear]

(Original post by Origami Bullets)
I don't think people are ridiculing you, it's more just that you need to cross these bridges if and when you come to them. And I think all Jake22 was trying to say is that there may be some occasions when you need to be a little flexible.

if 6 negs isn't being rediculed for being paranoid and worried, then what is?

[TenOfThem]

(Original post by Clare~Bear)
...

I think you will just need to be more tolerant

Most of your OP seems to be about things/people you don't want to like/associate with

For example

There are people with faith who drink and certainly are not boring even if they do not drink

And, people with money are not always "stuck up"

And, people like yourself who have different hobbies will come from a variety of variety of backgrounds


You clearly do not want to be in a city but this should be possible


Assume that there will be plenty of nice people that you will be able to get on with, start by being open and pleasant yourself ... you may well be surprised by the fact that many 18yr olds are just like you

[electriic_ink]

The vast majority of people cope with student life. I'm sure you will too.

[tillytots]

You'll be fine, don't let one or two posts on TSR scare you because that's such a small percentage out of the people who actually go to university. Alot of the time aswell, when you dig deeper into these posts, you'll realize some of the factors are caused by things they had done.

Go out during Fresher's, it's not that hard as you'll usually only have minimal things during the day and it's the best time for you to get to know people. Alcohol does play a large role at uni, but it isn't everything. If you're happy to participate for at least that week, do, then you don't ever/very rarely have to go out again. You are the one that has to open yourself up to others and approach others, it appears daunting at first, but everyone is in the same boat. If you don't like your flatmates, there are plenty of other people in your halls who you are bound to get on with. In life you always encounter people you dislike and people who dislike you, you can't please everyone!

University does change you, it helps you learn so much. You just have to be willing to adapt I'm afraid.

[such_a_lady]

(Original post by Clare~Bear)
Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to move out of my parents house, I do like alcohol, I am a reasonably social person and I'm passionate about the subject I want to do at uni.

But I just don't feel like I'd enjoy student life, especially if it was in a city.

BTW I won't be starting uni until september 2013. And this isn't a rant, I can't complain about things that haven't happened.

I hate/ am scared of the prospect of having to share a flat etc with complete strangers especially from the stories I've heard on here about really bitchy/ just annoying flatmates who I'd want to slap if I was the OP of such threads.

I'm not the kind of person that pointlessly wastes money on alcohol to get drunk and sick it back up. And I'm not the kinda person that goes to wild parties and clubbing. But I don't want to come across as a boring person or end up just spending my saturday nights with boring people/ prudish religious types that don't drink for religious reasons. Plus my hobbies tend be those that posher/ stuck up people do. I was in the sea cadets so I was lucky to do sailing and scuba diving cheaply. So I don't want to be stuck with these kinds of stuck up people for these kinds of societies that unis run - I'm definately working class, there's nothing posh about me.

I like cooking for people. But fussy people annoy me so I'd probably end up being able to cook hardly anything, in order to satisfy everyone.

I'm from a small town near the coast. I'd hate living in a city, but most unis are in cities. Bangor looks really nice, but I dunno if I'd get in there. Plus it's the other side of the country from almost everyone I know. My brother lives 2 hours away but he works offshore so is away half of the year, so I might or might not be able to spend half terms with him as the journey home would be very long and expensive.

How will I cope? I'd especially like to hear from anyone like me whose now at uni, especially if you came from a rural area.

I can understand where you're coming from, but I'd advise you to be a bit more open minded and less quick to judge, as that in itself might make life difficult for you if other people feel you're judging them. People not drinking are not necessarily boring. Neither are religious people. I don't drink for religious reasons and id rather be at home Skyping with my boyfriend than out clubbing, but that doesn't make me a boring person. And when I am out, I'm sober but the first one on the dance floor, ready to enjoy myself as much as anyone else. Some of the most boring people I know are the ones who need alcohol to even start having fun.
Some of what you said sounds closed minded and even arrogant against people from different backgrounds. Just because someone is wealthy does not make them stuck up. You wouldn't want them to judge you as a boring country bumpkin just for being from a rural area, so stop stereotyping and give people a chance. You might find your best friend turns out to be a devout Christian who is the daughter of an earl


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[madders94]

(Original post by Clare~Bear)
Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to move out of my parents house, I do like alcohol, I am a reasonably social person and I'm passionate about the subject I want to do at uni.

But I just don't feel like I'd enjoy student life, especially if it was in a city.

BTW I won't be starting uni until september 2013. And this isn't a rant, I can't complain about things that haven't happened.

I hate/ am scared of the prospect of having to share a flat etc with complete strangers especially from the stories I've heard on here about really bitchy/ just annoying flatmates who I'd want to slap if I was the OP of such threads.

I'm not the kind of person that pointlessly wastes money on alcohol to get drunk and sick it back up. And I'm not the kinda person that goes to wild parties and clubbing. But I don't want to come across as a boring person or end up just spending my saturday nights with boring people/ prudish religious types that don't drink for religious reasons. Plus my hobbies tend be those that posher/ stuck up people do. I was in the sea cadets so I was lucky to do sailing and scuba diving cheaply. So I don't want to be stuck with these kinds of stuck up people for these kinds of societies that unis run - I'm definately working class, there's nothing posh about me.

I like cooking for people. But fussy people annoy me so I'd probably end up being able to cook hardly anything, in order to satisfy everyone.

I'm from a small town near the coast. I'd hate living in a city, but most unis are in cities. Bangor looks really nice, but I dunno if I'd get in there. Plus it's the other side of the country from almost everyone I know. My brother lives 2 hours away but he works offshore so is away half of the year, so I might or might not be able to spend half terms with him as the journey home would be very long and expensive.

How will I cope? I'd especially like to hear from anyone like me whose now at uni, especially if you came from a rural area.

I felt quite the same and I'm from a small coastal village about an hour from Bangor. I was worried about going too far away because of my boyfriend and family, but I'm going to Bangor so I'll be able to visit fairly often and also I'm very familiar with Bangor as a city, I can't recommend the uni (yet!) but in terms of the city I'm so glad I'm going there because it's not huge and crowded but it's not the middle of nowhere and there's enough going on for me.

[ste_nick]

Take the Leap...

You might not get on with your housemates, and some aspects of cooking / living away may get annoying at times.

But for what you will get out of it; studying something your passionate about, job prospects, make new friends, independence... The pro's will massively outweigh the costs.

Finally, it's for three years... you will work for over 50. If Uni isn't perfect for you at least its somthing completely different to the rest of your working life!!!