The Student Room Group

Is it illegal to buy a wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend from abroad somewhere?

Scroll to see replies

Original post by Torpedo Fish
I'm 21. Like I said, I don't really want to divulge that kind of stuff to strangers on the internet. Suffice to say, I'm not what most people would consider a catch.








I assure you I'm not trolling. I'm genuinely considering it as an option. Why's it so hard to believe that somebody doesn't want to spend their whole life alone?


Okay, well if youre serious, in my opinion (feel free to ignore it its just my personal thoughts) I dont think two people should enter into matrimony unless they know and love each other. And we have all at times thought that no one would ever want to be with us, we all have. But like someone said already there is someone for everyone but its your life and you do what you think its right :smile: maybe she will develop genuine feelings if you treat her well enough. I hope you find someone for you before you have to resort to that though :smile:
Reply 21
Original post by badcheesecrispy
Really? Well many people would disagree with you there, lol :biggrin:

Why is he specifically asking to buy a woman from abroad and not the UK?

Because women in the UK have a better standard of life than women from the 'abroad' places he probably intends on buying a woman from, and therefore are unlikely to allow or want themselves to be 'bought' for the rest of their lives by a balding middle aged foreign guy. You hear of mail order brides usually from East Asia. These women are looking for a better life in a more prosperous country and marrying a desperate western bloke who can't pull a woman from his own country is probably the best way to go about it.


LOL so rude but so very funny !!:biggrin:

Original post by Torpedo Fish
Why not? I'd be giving that person a chance at a better life and at the same time I would no longer have to spend my whole life alone. Maybe if I treated her with respect, consideration and kindness she may even develop genuine feelings for me one day.


Aaaawww you're so desperate is cute!!
Original post by sahajkaur
Okay, well if youre serious, in my opinion (feel free to ignore it its just my personal thoughts) I dont think two people should enter into matrimony unless they know and love each other. And we have all at times thought that no one would ever want to be with us, we all have. But like someone said already there is someone for everyone but its your life and you do what you think its right :smile: maybe she will develop genuine feelings if you treat her well enough. I hope you find someone for you before you have to resort to that though :smile:


I thank you for your advice, but that bit in bold just seems like a pretty vacuous cliche to me.
Original post by Torpedo Fish
I'm 21. Like I said, I don't really want to divulge that kind of stuff to strangers on the internet. Suffice to say, I'm not what most people would consider a catch.








I assure you I'm not trolling. I'm genuinely considering it as an option. Why's it so hard to believe that somebody doesn't want to spend their whole life alone?


Perhaps because you want to buy someone for marraige?

Seriously bud, your young! set yourself a target that your gonna find someone by 8 years. look for dates, ask freinds, ask parents to help etc...

This is gonna sound gay of me.... But, are you good looking? if you are, you shouldnt have a problem. If your working towards a good career, then people should see you as appropiate.

Looks, career and social status have nothing to do with finding someone. Ive seen chubby guys and girls who are married/in a realtionship with a guy/girl and who dont come from the best background or have the best career.

Also if its not a problem for you, go find people of manyyyy different ethnicities who may be suitable for you. And dont beleive this rubbis that people have cultural differences etc... (im not saying that they dont). For example, I know this woman of Indian descent married to a white guy who is a barrister. My iranian freind has been out with: white,asian and black guys, Ive seen an indian women married to a white-American guy as well an indian women who married my dad's friend who is a Quebecois-Canadian (my dad is also from Quebec,Canada). You can take countries that have been colonised by European for example (though, some of the colonialist raped some of the people they were colonizing) there has been a lot of mixing with Dutch colonist and Indonesians (the country with teh most muslims), British mixing with Indians,Pakistanis and Afghans, Alexander the great and his army raping and marrying Afghans and north-west pakistanis and many more examples...
Not illegal at all. Thai/whatever bride agencies can essentially be seen as very expensive dating agencies. If the marriage wasn't genuine, e.g you separated as soon as she arrived in the country and she paid you for the marriage so she could get a passport, that would be fraud.

The thing I'd warn you about is when people see a white man with an Asian wife they often think mail order bride straight away, particularly if there's a significant age difference.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by katyness
Aaaawww you're so desperate is cute!!


Well what you see as desperation I see as pragmatism.

There's no reason why I should be alone, when I can be with someone and at the same give them a much better life and opportunities they never had before.
Original post by Patriot Rich
The thing I'd warn you about is when people see a white man with an Asian wife they often think mail order bride straight away, particularly if there's a significant age difference.


Well I'm only 21 at the moment (considering doing this if I haven't met somebody by the time I'm 30). Anyhow, I'm not really bothered about what other people think about it. As long as I'm not hurting anybody and I don't have to be alone, I'll be happy.
as long as it is a "ill give you x money to marry me!" "ok!" kind of deal and both parties are not under any kind of duress i can't see it being illegal.

People get married essentially for money all the time, its not really any different than a 20 something marrying a 70 something for his cash and the 70 something gets to do the 20 something.

It's a win win.
Reply 28
Really? .. this is weird
Original post by katyness
LOL so rude but so very funny !!:biggrin:



Aaaawww you're so desperate is cute!!


I wasnt necessarily referring to the OP, although at only 21 he wants to consider the fact he has absoloutely loads of time to find someone without having to resort to buying a poor thai woman.
Reply 30
Original post by badcheesecrispy
I wasnt necessarily referring to the OP, although at only 21 he wants to consider the fact he has absoloutely loads of time to find someone without having to resort to buying a poor thai woman.


That is true. Chances are, he will! He just doesn't want to have hope.
Reply 31
perfectly legal, well sort of ... just dont expect them to stick around once they have their citizenship...
Original post by cool pilot dude
Perhaps because you want to buy someone for marraige?

Seriously bud, your young! set yourself a target that your gonna find someone by 8 years. look for dates, ask freinds, ask parents to help etc...

This is gonna sound gay of me.... But, are you good looking? if you are, you shouldnt have a problem. If your working towards a good career, then people should see you as appropiate.

Looks, career and social status have nothing to do with finding someone. Ive seen chubby guys and girls who are married/in a realtionship with a guy/girl and who dont come from the best background or have the best career.

Also if its not a problem for you, go find people of manyyyy different ethnicities who may be suitable for you. And dont beleive this rubbis that people have cultural differences etc... (im not saying that they dont). For example, I know this woman of Indian descent married to a white guy who is a barrister. My iranian freind has been out with: white,asian and black guys, Ive seen an indian women married to a white-American guy as well an indian women who married my dad's friend who is a Quebecois-Canadian (my dad is also from Quebec,Canada). You can take countries that have been colonised by European for example (though, some of the colonialist raped some of the people they were colonizing) there has been a lot of mixing with Dutch colonist and Indonesians (the country with teh most muslims), British mixing with Indians,Pakistanis and Afghans, Alexander the great and his army raping and marrying Afghans and north-west pakistanis and many more examples...


i agree! :smile: I'm indian and am going out with a british guy!
You may have a problem with import duty at customs :biggrin:
If your not trolling, the here's my opinion, if it's weight issues just set yourself lots of little target and you'll be thin in no time, if it's because you don't think your good looking its probably just a confidence thing. Just ask girls/guys out, go speed dating, theres someone for everyone. Personally I am completely against "mail order brides" as I see it as highly immoral and a form of people trafficing. As I say just be confident and you'll find someone!
Looking at it logistically, you're going to have to make sure she doesn't get a British passport. How are you going to do that? Because once she is a British Citizen, she's entitled to benefits once she's entitled to benefits she no longer needs your ass unless you're rich (as in £2 Million plus net worth) and giving her a high standard of living that she just wouldn't be able to get on benefits.

Here's what relationships tend to produce: friendships, emotional support, sexual release and children. You can go out and make some friends, friends are more easier to make than find someone. They'll give you emotional support and you can also go therapy. Hire hookers for sexual release and adopt/use a surrogate if you want children.
Reply 36
Original post by Annoying-Mouse
Looking at it logistically, you're going to have to make sure she doesn't get a British passport. How are you going to do that? Because once she is a British Citizen, she's entitled to benefits once she's entitled to benefits she no longer needs your ass unless you're rich (as in £2 Million plus net worth) and giving her a high standard of living that she just wouldn't be able to get on benefits.

Here's what relationships tend to produce: friendships, emotional support, sexual release and children. You can go out and make some friends, friends are more easier to make than find someone. They'll give you emotional support and you can also go therapy. Hire hookers for sexual release and adopt/use a surrogate if you want children.


As one who have aquired a bride in this manner I can say that you are wrong. It has produced everything you speak about in the second paragraph. She has a passport and a Masters degree and do not need me in order to have a high standard of living.

I know several others who purchased wife's and what you describe only occurs if you are an ******* and treat your wife as ****. And guess what, this is no different from dating. If you are an ******* and treat her as **** your wife will leave you regardless of how you met her.

Original post by Torpedo Fish
For reasons I shall not get into I don't think anybody would ever choose to be with me through romantic intent so I'm thinking of (eventually - not till I'm maybe about 30 or something) getting a mail order bride.

But obviously I don't want to do anything illegal or support human trafficking or sex slavery or anything, so how can you tell whether a site or organization is a legitimate genuine company i.e. that all the woman on there are on there through the own choice (all-be-it for economic reasons)?

Thanks.

Arranged marriages are perfectly legal. Any kind of force/coersion is not but that should be quite obvious.

Dating is not as hard as you think and may be an option to, however many of the girls on the dating sites are scammers and it may end up costing you more money than going trough a trustworthy agency.

By the way I must add that the idea that you can not find a girl that wanna be with you is totally ridiculous. I don't know what kind of disability you have and why you think that it will be in your way, or even permanent but you are wrong. In an era where we are learning to build organ printers and possibly become immortal nothing is permanent. And even with whatever disability you have, there are plenty of girls out there that will not mind.
Reply 37
Original post by cool pilot dude
This is gonna sound gay of me.... But, are you good looking? if you are, you shouldnt have a problem. If your working towards a good career, then people should see you as appropiate.

Looks, career and social status have nothing to do with finding someone. Ive seen chubby guys and girls who are married/in a realtionship with a guy/girl and who dont come from the best background or have the best career.


Could these two paragraphs possibly contradict each other any more? Just saying, think it out before you type it out bud! :bandit:

Original post by Rilem
.


You sound like quite the fool Mr Rilem. Also, this thread is two months old, did you specifically come on here searching for 'buy a wife' or something? Creepy thing to do in a student forum! :eek:
Original post by Dragonfly07
?..
Basically, their expectations are much higher than reality and they get into marriages not knowing the real outcome they're going to get.

Edit: most western men who buy thai brides do it for one of two reasons:
1) they can't get a girl to genuinely like them
2) they can't stand the idea of women having freedom. They're aware that philipino/thai women are raised to be subservient to men, and that includes cooking, cleaning, and staying quiet even if they're being abused because they're not supposed to go against their husbands' words.

I suspect it's a combination of the two.

3) the women he meets daily are not worth dating, nevermind being relationship /marriage material.
There is a marriage strike happening after all & it is for a few reasons.

http://gencommand.blogspot.co.uk/ this site gives some great pros/cons reasons that you should consider & maybe the grass is only slightly greener.
If guys can understand women's nature (hypergamy; attraction to either good genes, i.e. looks & body wrt children; resource provider) then you will see that most are the same; its socialisation (culture) in their country that makes them different.

Edit: Women see steady dating, engagement and marriage as a business partnership. An ends to a means. Financial independence in women results in increased divorce: India ; China ; Thailand ; Vietnam ; Indonesia ; Malaysia.
Barbarossaaaa youtube: "if men were given the option to divorce women, take their kids, and make women work to support us financially, would men do it in droves? i honestly dont think so."
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 39
no

Quick Reply

Latest