Trying to come to terms with the fact that my friend's an idiot.
For questions and advice about interpersonal relationships with friends, housemates, family and work colleagues.
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- Anonymous poster #1
- Thread Starter
Trying to come to terms with the fact that my friend's an idiot.Anon because she know i am on the student room!
I don't know if I'm over exaggerating and I know I should probably get over this becuse she's my best friend but it's really beginning to eat me.
In my social circle there are three couples (including me and my bf). We are all close friends. my closest friend (I've know her for about 5/6 years) suddenly hooked up with one of our guy friends and they're in a relationship. they've been together for three months. I was really happy at first but then she changed.
She forgot that we all existed because to her only her boyfriend did and whenever I did see her, she was bragging to me about what gifts her boyfriend bought her or the latest place he's taken her out. For these past two months, I have endured comparisons between her relationship and mine and between her boyfriend and mine.
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years. There's a big difference between two years and two months.
There are times when she asks me to coffee or comes over to my house but she only ever wants to inform me about the latest place Max* has taken her, the bracelet he bought her from Tiffany or what he texts her. One day I asked if we could talk about something else for a bit and she closed off and called me jealous. i haven't really spoken to her since. It's like she's competing with me when there is no competition - a relationship is not about competition
She tells me she and Max want to marry and tells me about their marriage plans but she scorns at me when i said me and my bf haven't really planned our marriage yet - as if we're not possibly as in love as they are
We were supposed to be moving into a two bed flat this autumn but I'm really not sure!
What do i do? -
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Re: Trying to come to terms with the fact that my friend's an idiot.people do tend to act like this when they're in a relationship. One reason why i never like my friends bf/gf is because ive to hear the endless love/war stories between them (im single). I am interested to see what explanations others give.
PS: i often tell my friends to break up with their gf/bf cause I want my quality time with them rather than listening to endless idiotic tales
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Re: Trying to come to terms with the fact that my friend's an idiot.Just tell her to quit going on and on about her "perfect" relationship with her boyfriend, and talk about the things that you both used to talk about. I'm sure the relationship isn't as perfect as it seems; every relationship has its flaws, it's the determination to overcome it that makes a relationship even more special.
Tell her that there's nothing wrong with talking about relationships, but you miss the old chats you guys had.
This is just my own personal opinion, by the way. Hope I helped! -
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Re: Trying to come to terms with the fact that my friend's an idiot.Honey moon stage.... Let the stage where it all kicks in kick in... Then ofcourse the break up stage will come shortly after and then youll have to listen to how much of an idiot max is from her and come back on here and ask us about how you can deal with it.
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Re: Trying to come to terms with the fact that my friend's an idiot.I don't like to talk to my friends about my relationship that much, that's between me and my boyfriend. If my friends want to talk about their relationship (and it's not that much) then we'll all listen. Even when I was single I was supportive of their relationships, I was never spiteful about listening to them because my friends were happy. Maybe you should try and find different friends if you find their tales idiotic, or you should be more supportive.(Original post by bluemax)
people do tend to act like this when they're in a relationship. One reason why i never like my friends bf/gf is because ive to hear the endless love/war stories between them (im single). I am interested to see what explanations others give.
PS: i often tell my friends to break up with their gf/bf cause I want my quality time with them rather than listening to endless idiotic tales
I can understand OP's frustrations, I'd get really sick of it. If I was you I'd talk to her about it. Tell her she can think what she likes if she wants to believe that you're jealous but either way, you're getting sick of her endless stream of crap and you're considering changing your plans about living together unless she remembers that there are other people in the world that apart from her and her boyfriend. -
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Re: Trying to come to terms with the fact that my friend's an idiot.(Original post by sliceofcake)
I don't like to talk to my friends about my relationship that much, that's between me and my boyfriend. If my friends want to talk about their relationship (and it's not that much) then we'll all listen. Even when I was single I was supportive of their relationships, I was never spiteful about listening to them because my friends were happy. Maybe you should try and find different friends if you find their tales idiotic, or you should be more supportive.
Look i dont mind listening to it at times, i support what they want because i know it makes them happy. But listening to just that every time we talk does get to me some times. I mean fine, ive been friends with them for a couple of years and there is a pretty high level of trust between us, I do feel that maybe there is more to life with friends than just sorting out their love lives all the time. Im 21 and as a medical student i do want to enjoy my free time as i used to in school days with them. -
- Anonymous poster #1
- Thread Starter
Re: Trying to come to terms with the fact that my friend's an idiot.I thought your advice was really good, so I asked if we could meet up and chat for a bit. I was planning to tell her about how I miss our pre-boyfriend chats. She bailed on my last minute because he decided to take her on a date and she said she needed to get ready :\ I'm so tempted to just drop our flat plans(Original post by ConstantlyStressed)
Just tell her to quit going on and on about her "perfect" relationship with her boyfriend, and talk about the things that you both used to talk about. I'm sure the relationship isn't as perfect as it seems; every relationship has its flaws, it's the determination to overcome it that makes a relationship even more special.
Tell her that there's nothing wrong with talking about relationships, but you miss the old chats you guys had.
This is just my own personal opinion, by the way. Hope I helped!
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Re: Trying to come to terms with the fact that my friend's an idiot.Well that tells you everything about her priorities then, doesn't it? Call her and tell her what your intentions behind meeting up were and the fact that she cancelled on you just proves that things have changed and so you are reconsidering your plans.(Original post by Anonymous)
I thought your advice was really good, so I asked if we could meet up and chat for a bit. I was planning to tell her about how I miss our pre-boyfriend chats. She bailed on my last minute because he decided to take her on a date and she said she needed to get ready :\ I'm so tempted to just drop our flat plans
The sooner you do this, the sooner you can arrange a new flat for next year
