[katyness]

But who are you to JUDGE HER???

And secondly, life is unfair. I think everyone knows someone like that and when you're competitive and work hard, it ****ing stings! But such is life... isn't there anything else you can focus on instead of her?

[hannahchan]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello guys

First off, I just wanted to establish that I really don't want to be horrible or come across b*tchy about this person, but I really need some answers about how to deal with one of my friends.
We both want to do English at uni, which is fine, although I do actually have a major competitive/comparing-myself-to-other-people sort of issue which doesn't help to start with.
But here's the problem: my friend has always been good at doing exams. She's just always been able to sit them without doing much work and get top marks. But it really frustrates me that she still gets brilliant marks that don't reflect the amount of effort or work that she puts into the subjects. She constantly hands work in late and doesn't even bother to do half of it, and still she ends up with marks that appear as though she slaves away at her work all year.
And the thing is, we're both thinking of applying to some of the same universities (including Oxford), and it just really disheartens me to think that she has a way better chance of getting in, even though I feel like she completely doesn't deserve to get into somewhere like Oxford because she doesn't really do the work (not to mention I think that she would hate the amount of work that you have to do there, but I suppose that's by the by).
It's really starting to make me upset, and I think this issue is sort of ruining our friendship as well.

Does anyone have any advice or tips about how I can overcome this feeling and just concentrate on myself without feeling upset all the time about how she has a greater chance at getting into whichever university she wants, even after being so laidback and lazy about her work?

Thank you and I would appreciate any replies!

Lool.. well you seem very arrogant. Maybe your friend IS cleverer than you? Would you be able to handle it if she was? Some people are just naturally gifted and there are people that have to put the effort in. Doesn't mean just because she doesn't put the work in that she isn't clever.. as she is getting good marks apparently.

The problem wouldn't matter if you were true friends. If you're angry and bitter than you're clearly not friends.

[A.J10]

Academics isn't everything. She is better at passing exams than you are. I'm sure there'll be something you're better at.

Also, the work put into exams is not only the mad rush at the end. You may not percieve it as such, but a lot of people who are better at exams/learning do other activities that sharpen whatever skill are useful for exams/learning.

Not meaning to sound boastful, but I love to understand things and have always been finding out how things worked ever since I was a child. I believe this has sharpened my ability to understand things in a certain way which is very useful for things like physics exams, and that this is more useful than learning by rote. Your friend could have similar traits.

[see-are]

she is probably just cleverer than you. If anything that makes me think she deserves it more as she has real intelligence instead of just doing donkey work that anyone could do. Imagine if you combined her intelligence with your work rate - thats why she deserves oxford more than you - more potential.

[Hermione_moo]

(Original post by Astronomical)
What an utter load of tosh. You don't eat a McDonalds and wake up fatter. It just doesn't work like that. I would've expected somebody who claims to use gym would be more informed about human biology than to spread such fictitious garbage.

Also the bold and underlined parts are rather contradictory. It's essentially saying: "don't compare yourself to others unless you can think of something you're better than them at!"

DO compare yourself to her. DO aspire to do better than her. DO work efficiently. DO read/write what you want to read, not what you are told to read/write for the sake of it unless it helps you work efficiently.

Well you are lucky not to have my body then. I do put weight on just like that I am afraid :0( it sucks, I can put 8 lbs on a week easily, but again I can loose weight as quickly. My whole family is the same and my mum is on a body research program for a drug company as a test subject with tens of thousands of other people who have the same condition. It has a scientific name, which escapes me.

As for the contradiction, you are right there is a missing link there. Damn dyslexia! It should say, 'however if you are going to compare yourself......'

Have a nice day now x