[Fail Whale]

I am a 20 year old who was recently diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. I went to a grammar school and got decent enough grades at A-level (ABCD) and was accepted into Leeds uni. Unfortunately I didn't even last one term because the work load and lifestyle was too much for me. I became very depressed and went on medical leave but then I decided I didn't want to go back at all, so I quit. Now I'm back home with my parents and feel like crap because I can't work, am on benefits and have failed at adult life whilst all my old friends from school are about to graduate.

My adviser at the Job Centre recommended a residential college for disabled adults (Finchale college) but I don't think it's suitable, because I don't want to learn plastering or gardening. I want to do something more challenging, but I can't cope with university. I've looked for colleges specifically for autistic adults but they all seem to be for severely autistic adults and are more like care homes.

Do you know of any residential colleges that provide more challenging courses but also support for Asperger's (socialising, planning, eating correctly etc)? Do places like that even exist?

Thank you

[OU Student]

(Original post by Fail Whale)
I want to do something more challenging, but I can't cope with university.

Not even part-time / distance learning?

[River85]

(Original post by Fail Whale)
I am a 20 year old who was recently diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. I went to a grammar school and got decent enough grades at A-level (ABCD) and was accepted into Leeds uni. Unfortunately I didn't even last one term because the work load and lifestyle was too much for me. I became very depressed and went on medical leave but then I decided I didn't want to go back at all, so I quit. Now I'm back home with my parents and feel like crap because I can't work, am on benefits and have failed at adult life whilst all my old friends from school are about to graduate.

My adviser at the Job Centre recommended a residential college for disabled adults (Finchale college) but I don't think it's suitable, because I don't want to learn plastering or gardening. I want to do something more challenging, but I can't cope with university. I've looked for colleges specifically for autistic adults but they all seem to be for severely autistic adults and are more like care homes.

Do you know of any residential colleges that provide more challenging courses but also support for Asperger's (socialising, planning, eating correctly etc)? Do places like that even exist?

Thank you

You've only just entered your 20s. You're still very young. Don't think you've failed at adult life, there's still a heck of a lot of adult life to go! Besides, many people, whether they have Asperger's or not, leave university in the first year and either return the following year, a few years later, or not at all (and still find a challenging, successful career). Besides, university life isn't real adult life It can take time to adapt to living independently, especially if away from home, and this is true of people with or without Asperger's. So you aren't alone. You will find something you are good at and you can do, whether that's next week, next year, or some later point.

I'm not really an expert on residential colleges, I'm afraid, but is there anything specific about the lifestyle that contributed to your unhappiness? You mention meals, socialising and that sort of thing. Do you think things would be better at a smaller university and city, which isn't quite as intimidating an environment, and perhaps has a collegiate structure to provide additional support with settling in?

Is the Open University not an option? I appreciate it's not the same as studying at a brick university, and you won't have the same independence (combined with support) that you'll find at a residential college, but it will allow you to study for a good degree whilst still receive appropriate academic support. You can live at home, at least initially, so receive parental support. It need not be a solitary experience. If you want to you can meet up with local students and arrange tutorials (and, depending on the course, there can be residential schools and seminars alongside distance learning.

[OU Student]

(Original post by River85)
Is the Open University not an option? I appreciate it's not the same as studying at a brick university, and you won't have the same independence (combined with support) that you'll find at a residential college, but it will allow you to study for a good degree whilst still receive appropriate academic support. You can live at home, at least initially, so receive parental support. It need not be a solitary experience. If you want to you can meet up with local students and arrange tutorials (and, depending on the course, there can be residential schools and seminars alongside distance learning.

I am currently studying with the OU. There are tutorials both online and in real life. The ones in real life are nothing like ones at brick unis. At brick unis, the lectures can sometimes have a couple of hundred students. In my last tutorial, there was 3 students, my PA and the tutor.

There are also OU forums where you can talk to the other students.

[Fail Whale]

I have thought about the OU but to be honest it's the living independently side of things that would probably be of more use to me. Also, I stuggle to motivate myself to study and am terrible at planning ahead, organising my time etc which was one of the reasons I failed at uni. I was fine at school because there was a lot of structure and teachers made it very clear what they expected, but at uni I just couldn't deal with "you have 3 months - go and do this". I need to know exactly what I need to do and when it has to be in for.
From what I understand, Open University relies a lot on self-directed study, even more so than regular university, so I think I would find it even more difficult.

Maybe it's a long shot ... but do any universities have student accommodation tailored for people with ASD? Like supported living, but for people who are attending uni? To help with life skills, like cooking and organising finances, as well as the actual study part? When I was at Leeds they provided me with a PA but obviously they couldn't come back to the flat with me and help me out with stuff like that. They were more for educational support.

[OU Student]

I think it's social services you'll need to sort out the independent living skills stuff with.

With OU, they have a study planner. This says that by week x, you need to have done this.

[pipsi]

I think it might be worth trying one thing at a time, either studying or living away from home. As you say you're on benefits at the moment I guess you're probably not in a position financially to get a place of your own so perhaps start with studying.

Have you considered studying at a local university and living at home? It might be that you need more help through your Disabled Students Service at the university. They can help you with organising your timetable and setting targets etc. Did you go through the process of getting support in place from them when you went to uni in Leeds? Did you get DSA etc? Study skills tutors are excellent at helping with organisation skills.

My first suggestion would have been Open University but you said you think you need more structure. So perhaps living at home and studying at a near by uni might be worth thinking about. Perhaps if you thought uni might be too much, have you considered a local college, I know you said you'd rather not do anything vocational and want more of a challenge, but a local college might do some courses that you might find interesting and a little more academic.

If you could find the money to move out from your parents house do you think you would like to try that? You could live near by. My sister (although she doesn't have any learning difficulties) doesn't like being away from home, she studied at a local uni and lived at home while studying and then now that she is working, she has moved out and now rents a flat a short walk from our parents' house. It's close enough to home to call round or go for dinner but gives her her own space.

And don't worry about being an older student. I went to uni at 18 which was wrong because I didn't really know what i wanted to do and would have benefited from a gap year. I then left my course after a year and worked for a bit before returning to uni just before i turned 22. I'll be 30 this year and I'm a postgrad, the main reason I'm so old and still a student is mostly financial as I've had to study my current course part time because I'm self funded. There are times that i feel older than everyone else, but it doesn't get me down, my friends are all mature and i think once you reach your mid 20s age doesn't matter so much anymore.

[eden]

could your family help you to learn the cooking/finance planning type things, whilst you are living at home now?