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Friend always acts as if she's smarter than me?

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Applying to Uni? Let Universities come to you. Click here to get your perfect place 20-10-2014
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    Well I have this friend who wants to be a doctor like me. She always acts as if she's smarter than me and it's getting kind of annoying.

    She's always bragging about her test results. When I achieve good results I don't brag about it. This one time she was bragging because she got 100% in a geography test and I said 'I got that too! High five' in a friendly way and she just gave me an evil look? She's always looking down on me especially when it comes to grades and she has this 'smug, I'm better than you' face on especially around this guy called Jake who she always glances over in discussions about academics as if they're mocking me together. Plus, she seemed to get really annoyed with me at the start of the Year (in Year 11). As a new student (joined in Year 10) I achieved higher grades than she did and she gave me this annoyed look.

    Especially when she was asking for my English results because we're in Set 1 but everyone including her did badly in the exams (she got an A, B & C whereas I got 2A*s and 1A). She highlighted the fact that 'everyone did badly' and probably asked me what I got thinking that I did worse than her so that she could feel better about herself. She looked shocked when I told her what I got.

    I slacked off a bit at certain times and under-performed in a few 'practice' exams and 'mocks' (simply for not trying) and she used this as an excuse to justify her 'I'm better than you' theory. For our geo coursework I went waaaay over the word limit and some of my pages went missing (it was a huge mess) so I ended up getting 52/60 when in reality my teacher said I potentially could have gotten one of the highest. When she found out she said 'I'm disappointed in you' and had this smug smirk on her face, laughing with the Jake guy.

    When I say some reasonable things she is all sarcastic and degrading. A few weeks ago someone brought in delicious pizza and I loved it, then when it all finished I went 'All of the pizza's gone!' in a sad voice. Then she goes 'Yeah Megan. Kind of obvious?' it's not like she says it in a friendly way either like she's joking she says it very degradingly. Also we had some revision lessons in Easter and I dressed up in nice clothes. She kept looking down at me and was just not herself, like she seemed to be annoyed with me or something.

    This boy asked me what I wanted to be when I was older and she goes 'You should be a teacher instead I can see you as a teacher'. I mean what the hell? That was pretty uncalled for. It probably doesn't sound as bad but the way she said it it implied that I wasn't intelligent enough to be a doctor. (Edit: In no way did I intend to portray teachers as unintelligent. My chem teacher proves that wrong by having a PhD and many of my other teachers. In fact, teaching is one of my back-up plans if medicine doesn't go well. It's just that in the past she's always made it out like teaching is a job for 'dumb' people so when she said I should teach it felt like she was implying that I was dumb. Also, reading over my post I realise I may have come across as a little arrogant which I apologise for because I definitely am not).

    So yeah, sorry for writing too much. How can I let her stop affecting me and getting me down?
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    She's jealous! Obviously she is intimidated because you get better grades than her so have a better shot at being accepted onto a medicine course.

    Anyway, she sounds like a bit of a crappy friend so maybe stop hanging round with her... Or you could try talking to her about it, she may back off if you stand up to her or it might just be in her nature to be horrible. Either way, I don't think you should carry on letting her get away with treating you like this.
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    1) Why are you friends with her?
    2) Ignore her and move on. You'll soon be in sixth form where she will hopefully have matured.
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    Ignore her. Get your A*s and have the last laugh.
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    Are you implying that teachers aren't intelligent? You come across as arrogrant to me and that's not a trait that will get you into medical school.
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    I had a friend who was like this, turns out her parents were putting loads of pressure on her to get into medical school, and grades were the only thing she was good at.. maybe talk to her about how annoying it is. Tell her you don't feel as though you need to be in competition with her; as she's clearly been taught that everyone is a rival.
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    (Original post by Dekota-XS)
    Are you implying that teachers aren't intelligent? You come across as arrogrant to me and that's not a trait that will get you into medical school.
    Noooo no no not at all. My chemistry teacher has a PhD and he's one of the most intelligent guys I know. It's just my year is full of snobs and when the class was having a discussion about jobs and this girl said she wanted to be a teacher they all started laughing at her, including my friend (who told her 'You can do better than that'). So it's reasonable to think that if she can laugh at a girl because of her teacher aspirations and say 'you can do better than that' that she thinks that teaching is an inferior job. Therefore if she later tells me 'You should be a teacher instead' I'm going to think that she meant in not such a nice way because of previous experiences? Do you get my drift?

    I'm genuinely not arrogant at all. In fact, I have very low self-esteem when it comes to most things. If you ask anyone who knows me they will tell you that I don't have a lot of confidence. How do I come across as arrogant, intrigued to know? :rolleyes:
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    First of all, if she has such a cocky and arrogant attitude generally and not just with you then I guarantee she will not do well at any medicine interviews. They want humble people. In one of my interviews a good couple of minutes was spent discussing the dangers of under/overconfidence.

    Her attitude to you is probably some kind of reaction to her feeling inferior to you academically. Unless she is just a scumbag of a person, there isn't much else to explain it.

    Good luck with uni and everything too!
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    (Original post by Dekota-XS)
    Are you implying that teachers aren't intelligent? You come across as arrogrant to me and that's not a trait that will get you into medical school.
    Well I'd think the average teacher is not AS intelligent as the average doctor because of the mixed academic standards for teaching, whereas there are quite high standards for doctors academically.
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    (Original post by Dekota-XS)
    Are you implying that teachers aren't intelligent? You come across as arrogrant to me and that's not a trait that will get you into medical school.
    I'm sorry but how is she arrogant? If anything she doesn't have much confidence because if she did the things her friend is saying to her would not affect her at all. If anyone is arrogant here (judging from what I've read) it's her friend.

    OP just ignore her. People like her are just trying to bring you down to feel better about themselves. Try to avoid her for a little while if you can. Also, work on your confidence a bit. That way when your friend and any other snob tries to bring you down in future it wouldn't hurt you too much.
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    (Original post by hopefulfuturemed)
    Noooo no no not at all. My chemistry teacher has a PhD and he's one of the most intelligent guys I know. It's just my year is full of snobs and when the class was having a discussion about jobs and this girl said she wanted to be a teacher they all started laughing at her, including my friend (who told her 'You can do better than that'). So it's reasonable to think that if she can laugh at a girl because of her teacher aspirations and say 'you can do better than that' that she thinks that teaching is an inferior job. Therefore if she later tells me 'You should be a teacher instead' I'm going to think that she meant in not such a nice way because of previous experiences? Do you get my drift?

    I'm genuinely not arrogant at all. In fact, I have very low self-esteem when it comes to most things. If you ask anyone who knows me they will tell you that I don't have a lot of confidence. How do I come across as arrogant, intrigued to know? :rolleyes:
    Being competitive is not a bad trait par se and it's a healthy trait to employ in the face of exams; medicine is after all competitive.

    Yes fine, you're lack of confidence is evident when you start questioning you're own foundations according to what your friend thinks. How did your aspirations for a medical career develop? Did this friend have an influence on you choosing to pursue such a career?
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    ****ing hell what school do you go to, it sounds like a nightmare. Also bun this bitch, just tell her straight she's obnoxious without the substance to back it up
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    What if she is smarter than you and this oneupmanship is all in your mind? :holmes:
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    to be honest, you're only doing your GCSEs. a lot of people do well in their GCSEs and then get an epic fail for their A-Levels. If you work hard, you could do well in the results that matter, so who cares about her!

    but don't get too caught up in it because you'll end up in a competition whether you like it or not, and then be dissapointed or smug (both are bad) when you get results. concentrate on yourself, you'll always have people like that wherever you go and sometimes they'll be better than you and sometimes they won't. aim to be the best but don't make it your life's goal.

    i had someone like that at school, and once we grew up and stopped competing, we realised that we were much better together.
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    (Original post by Dekota-XS)
    Being competitive is not a bad trait par se and it's a healthy trait to employ in the face of exams; medicine is after all competitive.

    Yes fine, you're lack of confidence is evident when you start questioning you're own foundations according to what your friend thinks. How did your aspirations for a medical career develop? Did this friend have an influence on you choosing to pursue such a career?
    Hmmm I guess so. She's not really that mean of a person maybe it's just the pressure she's feeling and she's probably naturally competitive - if anything it prepares her for medicine. She's definitely confident without a doubt so maybe I should take lessons from her but not to the extreme.

    My aspirations for a medical career developed about 8 years before I knew her (met her when I was 14, wanted to be a doctor since the age of 6). So I guess, no, she didn't influence me. I just found the field interesting especially as my dad works in it. Also in Brownies we learnt about FirstAid which was incredibly fun. It's just an amazing thing to help improve the lives of other people and improve their health. There are lots of other contributing factors.

    You know what, you've actually helped me quite a bit. It's made me think more now. Thanks Also thanks to everyone else who answered, you've all helped me equally!
    Also, sorry for coming across as arrogant/rude before.
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    Grow some balls.
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    (Original post by ArcaneAnna)
    Grow some balls.
    Blunt, but useful
    Thanks for telling it like it is.
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    (Original post by hopefulfuturemed)
    Blunt, but useful
    Thanks for telling it like it is.
    People like that are best ignored. Who cares what she says or thinks? Do your own thing.
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    Why don't you act as if you are smarter than her?
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    (Original post by hopefulfuturemed)
    Hmmm I guess so. She's not really that mean of a person maybe it's just the pressure she's feeling and she's probably naturally competitive - if anything it prepares her for medicine. She's definitely confident without a doubt so maybe I should take lessons from her but not to the extreme.

    My aspirations for a medical career developed about 8 years before I knew her (met her when I was 14, wanted to be a doctor since the age of 6). So I guess, no, she didn't influence me. I just found the field interesting especially as my dad works in it. Also in Brownies we learnt about FirstAid which was incredibly fun. It's just an amazing thing to help improve the lives of other people and improve their health. There are lots of other contributing factors.

    You know what, you've actually helped me quite a bit. It's made me think more now. Thanks Also thanks to everyone else who answered, you've all helped me equally!
    Also, sorry for coming across as arrogant/rude before.
    Why the f*** are you apologising for coming across as 'arrogant'?
    You didn't come across as arrogant at all!
    The guy is just a douche! Don't understand why he got 2 pos reps for his stupid claim.
    He doesn't deserve your apology. Why should you say sorry for doing nothing wrong?
    You need to become more thick skinned. Geez!

    This douchebag of your friend and the douche who called you arrogant are just perfect examples of the fact that you will ALWAYS come across douchebags in your life. Ignore them and DEAL WITH IT.

    If you're going into the field of medicine you need to stop being such a soft kind pu**y and ooze confidence and authority. Stop being such a nice a$$, doesn't get you anywhere in life! Face the reality, life is TOUGH.

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